All a Man Is

by Janice Kay Johnson

  Julia felt a cramp of longing. “You know I can’t.

  “Yeah, but how are we going to get away from the kids at all?” He sounded...accepting, but also a little disgruntled.

  “It would be easier if we weren’t trying to keep them under lock and key.”

  “Damn it.” He lifted her chin so he could kiss her. “You could offer me a glass of lemonade in an hour.”

  Julia laughed. “I can do that.”

  With reluctance, they separated, him loping across the grass to lift his garage door, her slipping inside.

  * * *

  THE WEEK THAT FOLLOWED was pretty damn idyllic in some ways, and yet for Alec undermined by constant tension.

  Matt stayed quiet and thoughtful, but he also grew bored, for which no one could blame him, and whiny, for which they could. Alec wanted to avoid, if he possibly could, explaining why he thought those shots had been intended for Matt rather than him, which left Matt failing to understand why he couldn’t leave the house without Julia or Alec.

  “I could go for walks, at least!” Matt complained.

  Alec settled for saying, “I need you to stick close to home until this trial is over. My family could be used to pressure me into changing my testimony.”

  “But Liana gets to go places,” Matt said mutinously.

  “Only under supervision. If you think of something you want to do, I imagine your mom will take you.”

  A shadow crossed Matt’s face. “I still have to go to court, don’t I?” he asked. “I mean, for shoplifting.”

  “Yeah, you do. And,” Alec added sternly, “if I didn’t believe you’d learned something from it, you’d have been arrested for motor-vehicle theft, too.”

  “But it was yours—” Matt glimpsed the expression on Alec’s face. “Oh, um, I guess.”

  “So count your blessings, kid. You’d have gotten time in juvenile detention for that for sure.”

  It appeared some actual thought was going on, which Alec saw as a good thing.

  “Do you think that time someone shot at us had to do with this trial?”

  “I don’t know,” he said truthfully, angrier than he wanted to admit at the lack of answers.

  That was the other thing about the week. He was waiting for that second shoe to drop. Whatever the motive for taking those potshots at him and Matt, why hadn’t there been a follow-up? Why no phone call saying, You’ve had your warning. Next time’s for real? Matt had mostly been unavailable for a second attempt on his life, but Alec had half expected one on his life, although he hadn’t said that to Julia. It didn’t happen. He’d taken to worrying increasingly about Julia and Liana, but so far, nothing there, either.

  Julia didn’t seem to notice how often a patrol car swung by the duplex or hovered on Bond Road outside the ranch where the two girls had their riding camp. Somebody thinking of snatching one of them or threatening them would notice, though. Maybe the precautions were enough. Alec had checked out the ranch and been glad to see how open the surrounding countryside was. No cover for a sharpshooter.

  He was dreading getting on that damn airplane and leaving them alone. The riding camp ran into the following week, and that was when the participants were to be taken on trail rides, leading into some partially wooded areas. Brian Cooper had found a horseman among the young patrol officers; he was to be inserted as a wrangler who’d stick close to Liana and Julia. Alec understood the owner of the ranch wasn’t thrilled to learn about the possible danger, but had accepted the assurance that the precautions were really just designed to placate the police chief, who was overprotective of his niece.

  Alec had had to shake his head and laugh at that.

  He engaged in daily phone calls with the federal prosecutors in Southern California, who were getting jumpy. They’d have liked to have him down there now and didn’t like his refusal to come any sooner than he had to. He’d explained his concerns about his family but had the sense he wasn’t being taken seriously. The phone threats had been specific and unrelated to Perez, he was reminded.

  Yeah—but he wasn’t convinced.

  And the sexual tension was killing him. The kids were always there. Matt especially. He not only never went anywhere, he was keeping a close eye on his mom and uncle, too. A couple of times he made excuses to follow them to Alec’s side of the duplex. Maybe out of boredom, maybe because he was old enough to suspect what Alec had on his mind. Matt had, after all, stolen those condoms. Even if he was sort of okay with his mother and Alec getting married, the idea of them having sex was another story. Alec could only imagine the poor kid’s horror.

  The result was no sex. Alec and Julia managed to sneak kisses a few times, but those frustrated him as much as anything.

  He’d have liked to propose and have an answer before he went, too. A ring on her finger. Alec discovered how much he hated uncertainty in his personal life. He kept thinking about how firm she’d sounded when she said, Not until he gets back from L.A. He had a bad feeling that being pushy would have the opposite effect of what he wanted.

  Was she unwilling to commit herself until she was convinced he no longer courted danger on the job? In one way, Alec couldn’t blame her, given how she’d been widowed and how recently. But a part of him wanted to know she loved him enough to marry him whatever the risks. They’d moved to a small town for Matt’s sake, but Matt would be going to college in a few years. What if, in the future, another opportunity arose that Alec wanted to take? Would Julia ask him to choose between her and his job?

  He might know what his answer would be—but that wasn’t the point.

  Oh, hell—he was probably worrying about nothing. Maybe all she wanted was to be sure Matt was okay with the two of them, and he couldn’t blame her for that.

  But, damn, he wanted to make love with her.

  * * *

  SAYING GOODBYE TO ALEC at the airport was unspeakably awful. Julia knew she was overreacting—he hadn’t had to tell her—but she couldn’t shake a terror that felt too much like a premonition.

  Something wicked this way comes.

  Who knew she’d remember that much from Macbeth?

  Stupid.

  Now she wished she hadn’t brought the kids along to the airport, but of course she didn’t like leaving them alone, either, or insulting Matt by asking Andrea to sit with them. There was also no way she trusted him on his own yet, even if she couldn’t blame him for chafing at the confinement.

  The Angel Butte Regional Airport had only one gate for commercial flights and nothing that exactly qualified as security, except that everyone had to step through a scanner and she supposed bags were X-rayed. The whole family was able to walk Alec right to the doorway leading onto the runway where the prop plane waited for the ten passengers who had bought tickets on this particular flight.

  The kids hugged him, and then she did. When she tried to straighten and regain her dignity before she did something like break into tears—just what he needed as a send-off—his arms locked around her.

  In response, she melted against his hard body. “Please, please come home safely,” she mumbled into his collarbone.

  Cheek pressed to her head, he said, “I swear.” He didn’t seem to want to let go any more than she did.

  Finally she wiped her damp cheeks on his formerly crisp white shirt, sniffed and tried again to pull away. His arms tightened briefly before releasing her, his hands lingered on her shoulders and his dark eyes were intense on her face.

  She kissed his cheek and, while her mouth was close to his ear, whispered, “I love you.” Then she backed off.

  Hands falling to his sides, he looked stunned. “God, Julia.”

  She tried valiantly to smile. “Go.”

  He gave his head a dazed shake. “Yeah. Okay.” One more intense look, and he said, “I’ll call,” and went. />
  Both kids stayed silent as they went to the wall of windows, watching as he walked across the tarmac and ducked to disappear inside an airplane that seemed awfully small. The propellers turned until they blurred, after which the plane taxied onto the runway, raced down it and rose into the air.

  “Mom? Why are you crying?” Liana asked anxiously, reaching for her hand.

  This time, Julia’s smile felt more natural. “Because I’m being silly. I hate goodbyes.”

  “Oh.” Her daughter’s face relaxed, and she skipped along as they headed for their car.

  But Matt, Julia noticed, kept watching her, and she wondered if he was as easily fooled.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  ALEC CAME OUT of the bathroom rubbing his wet hair with a hotel towel, a second one wrapped around his waist. When a knock came at the door, he tensed, but it was followed by three more, lighter knocks in a prearranged pattern. He let in Michael Bishop, the middle-aged, sharp-eyed federal agent who was serving as his bodyguard and, at the moment, room-service waiter.

  “Breakfast,” Bishop announced, setting the tray on the table.

  “Thanks. We getting anywhere?”

  “Afraid not.”

  Opposing attorneys were still dueling over the selection of the last couple of jurors. He was pissed that they’d let him come down without telling him the whole damn circus had been delayed.

  It was Wednesday now. Since his arrival Sunday, Alec had learned things about himself. He hated being cooped up with a passion. The feeling wasn’t claustrophobia, but it was close. Maintaining an appearance of pleasant civility with his guards—or captors—was straining his composure.

  Of course, he’d always known he preferred to be in charge. Handing over control like this was scraping him raw. He tried to imagine himself laughing about this later, preferably with Julia. Telling her, I’m officially a control freak.

  “Later” felt like a mirage, a shimmer in the far distance that would fade when he got too close. And yeah, he’d been confined in this damn hotel room for barely—no, his gaze found the clock, exactly—sixty hours. A drop in the sea, when it was becoming clear his testimony wouldn’t be called for until next week, at least.

  He wanted Julia. He wanted the kids. They’d have all enjoyed the room service, the selection of new movies available at will. Together, they could have played board games, talked, laughed.

  Made love.

  He grimaced. No, not that, unfortunately. Even if the feds had been willing to spring for a suite, he doubted Julia would go for sharing his bed with the kids only a wall away.

  Tossing the wet towel aside, he dressed in chinos and a T-shirt, then unenthusiastically sat down to eat.

  By early afternoon, he’d skimmed all his notes—again—in preparation for his testimony and read half of a thriller Bishop had bought for him in the gift shop downstairs in the hotel. It might have been riveting under other circumstances. Under these circumstances, he found himself reading and rereading pages because he’d lost track of the fictional events.

  Damned if he didn’t owe Matt a huge apology. Recalling his impatience at his nephew’s intolerance for sitting around, day after day after day, Alec smiled reluctantly. Unlike Matt, he would be thrilled to go grocery shopping with Julia.

  Speaking of... He called once a day. Usually evening, but she ought to be home by now and he was eager to hear about the first lengthy trail ride. Yesterday’s had lasted only half an hour, following a session in the corral. At this point, she couldn’t call him—fear that he could be traced via his cell phone, or any call from her phone, meant he’d left his own phone behind and had been given a throwaway.

  Anticipating the sound of her voice, he dialed and sat on the edge of the bed.

  One ring.

  If they’d ridden for the entire hour, Julia and Matt, at least, would probably be sore. Liana might have gotten over that last week—

  The second ring was cut off. “Alec?” It was Julia, and she sounded semihysterical.

  Shit, he thought, sitting up straighter. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “Matt’s gone. Oh, God, I’m so scared.”

  His pulse had accelerated like an Indy car. “Tell me what happened.” Somehow, he’d spoken calmly.

  “He begged not to go with us this morning. Riding yesterday was really awkward for him and most of the camp participants are girls so I know he feels self-conscious. And then his arm hurt last night and he didn’t sleep very well, and I thought— I’m such an idiot, Alec! I trusted him!”

  “How long have you been home?”

  “Forty-five minutes. Well, off and on. I made Liana go with me, and we drove around for probably twenty minutes, but there was no sign of him. Oh, I’m going to kill him!”

  Not if Alec got to the kid first, he thought grimly.

  “Call Colin,” he said.

  “I already did.” The stress in her voice was almost more than he could stand. “He’s coming over himself, and he said they’d go door to door and find out if any neighbors might have been home and seen Matt leave. To...find out if he was alone.” Her voice was shaking at the end.

  His jaw was clenched so hard it was a wonder he hadn’t cracked a molar. He wanted, like he’d never wanted anything, to be there, not trapped in purgatory.

  “You know he’s probably done nothing more serious than go for a walk. I’ve let my paranoia infect you. I’m sorry, Julia.”

  That dialed her stress back a little and they spoke for another few minutes. Finally, he said, “I’ll call back in half an hour,” and let her go.

  He paced, looking at his watch every minute or two. Time had never crept so slowly.

  This time when he dialed, Alec wasn’t surprised when the call was picked up midring.

  It was Colin McAllister, though, who said, “Alec?”

  “Yeah?”

  “A neighbor three houses down across the street saw a police car in front of your house.” Tension made his voice flat. “A uniformed officer went to the door. She isn’t sure she’d recognize him if she saw him again, but she saw a boy come out and the officer put him in the back of the squad car.”

  Alec let out a blistering obscenity.

  “The car wasn’t blue. It was white with a navy blue band. She’s sure of that.”

  County sheriff’s department, not Angel Butte P.D. Jesus. What did that mean?

  “Nobody I’ve talked to at the sheriff’s department has a good goddamn idea what one of their officers would have been doing picking up a kid within our city limits.” He paused. “We have to assume that Matt’s been abducted.”

  “Nobody could reach me,” Alec said numbly. “They won’t know I don’t have my phone. They may not even know I’m out of town, unless someone saw Julia take me to the airport.”

  “Is your phone here?”

  “On the dresser in my bedroom.”

  “Do I have your permission to go in there and listen to your voice mail?”

  Alec gave him his password and the number to call him back, too. To hell with Bishop and the rest of the prison guards.

  Then he paced some more, the phone in his hand. Although he expected it, he got a jolt of adrenaline when it rang ten minutes later.

  “Colin?”

  “Nothing. Not a single goddamn message. Not even a missed call.”

  Air huffed out of him as if he’d been smacked in the chest. “I’m coming home,” he said. “They won’t like it, but to hell with ’em.”

  “You can’t do anything we aren’t already doing.”

  “I have to be there.”

  “I don’t blame you,” Colin said. “You going to have this phone with you? I’ll call if we learn anything.”

  A minute later, Alec was dialing the emergency contact number f
or the agent in charge.

  * * *

  IT WAS ALL Julia could do to hold it together. Grateful as she was for Colin McAllister’s presence, she desperately wanted Alec.

  She sat on the sofa for most of the afternoon, her arm around Liana, who was frightened into silence. Alec’s iPhone lay on the coffee table in front of her, the gleaming black the center of her existence. Beside it was her mobile phone, as well as the home phone. Matt would probably call one of her numbers. Anyone else would call Alec’s.

  In the kitchen, Colin worked his own phone. She heard the rumble of his voice, the occasional ring. Other officers came and went. Eventually, a plainclothes female officer stayed. She was the only one to stop and introduce herself to Julia.

  Her hazel eyes were kind. “Hi, I’m Lieutenant Jane Vahalik. I know you’re scared, but we’ll find your son.”

  “Thank you,” Julia said stiffly. “This is Liana, my daughter.”

  Liana mumbled something, and Jane smiled at her.

  Lieutenant Vahalik had to be about Julia’s age. Alec had mentioned her and Julia knew Jane headed the detective division. He’d been concerned about her relative lack of experience, but also expressed his growing belief that she was smart and composed. Julia knew there were increasing numbers of female law-enforcement officers, but was amazed at one Jane Vahalik’s age who’d risen to command a whole bunch of men. She wasn’t exactly beautiful—pretty, maybe—but there wasn’t any way she could have disguised her femininity even if she’d tried. Maybe an inch or two taller than Julia, she was fit but also curvaceous. Julia could too easily imagine the way men’s gazes would stray to the lieutenant’s generous breasts.

  Well, more power to her, Julia thought, in one of the few moments she had been able to focus on anything but Matt and where he was, or her desperate need for Alec.

  The lieutenant disappeared to the kitchen, but took a minute to pop back out and say, “Chief Raynor has gotten on an airplane. It lands in Portland at 7:16. There are no evening commercial flights to Angel Butte or Bend, so we’re arranging a charter. He’ll make it here this evening.”

  “Thank you” was all Julia could manage to say.