Chasing Carson

by Amanda Bennett

  “I’ll be fine, sweetheart. Don’t you worry about me.” I could feel the pain in my side intensify with every step I took, but I wasn’t about to tell Carson that. I laid her mom on the couch and ran to the phone on the kitchen wall. Luckily, Ky answered after only one ring.

  “Hey man, Carson and her mom make it okay?”

  “Yeah, but we’ve got a bigger problem. Anna just had a seizure in the barn. That’s not the worst of it though, a man was snoopin’ around here askin’ for me. I need you to see what you can find out about Trey and where he is. I gotta make sure everyone still thinks he killed me that day.”

  “Got it. I’ll have Lyndley call Carson about her mom. Do you want me to have Mr. Caverly call you?”

  “Yeah, probably a good idea.”

  “Talk to you soon.”

  I hung up the phone and went to check on Carson and her mom. “How’s she doin’?”

  “She hasn’t woken up. Is that normal?”

  “Yeah. The medicine I gave her will keep her out for a while.” Before I could explain anything any further, the phone started ringin’. I ran over and answered. “Hello?”

  “It’s Mr. Caverly. How’s my wife doing?”

  “I administered some Ativan and the seizure stopped. She’s on the couch while we wait for the ambulance.”

  “Oh good.” I could hear the relief in Mr. Caverly’s tone.

  “Mr. Caverly, does your wife have any conditions that would cause her to have a seizure.” I made sure to speak quietly into the phone so Carson wouldn’t overhear.

  “No. I mean she’s had a few episodes here and there, but never a seizure. She has a doctor’s appointment when she gets back. Do I need to come out there?” I could tell he was hesitant to tell me, but I passed it off to him bein’ worried.

  “No, I’ll have Carson go to the hospital with her and have them call you.”

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  “Of course. I’ll chat with you soon.”

  I hung up not knowin’ what to say to Carson to ease her fear. Unfortunately, her mom was the only one who could answer any questions. I made my way over to Anna to check her pulse, and she started to wake. I didn’t want her movin’ too much after just havin’ a seizure, but she was suddenly very adamant that she was fine.

  “Please just sit me up.” Her speech was a bit slurred, but I decided to ride it out before bringin’ it to Carson’s attention.

  “Mom, are you okay?” Carson threw her arms around her mom’s neck.

  “I’m fine. What happened?”

  “Mrs. Caverly, you had a seizure in the barn. Carson called 9-1-1, the ambulance should be here soon.”

  “NO!” She shouted.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “I don’t need an ambulance. Call them and tell them never mind.”

  “But Mom, we don’t know why you had a seizure. You can’t just ignore this.”

  “I know, honey. I’m not ignoring it. I’m telling you I don’t need an ambulance because I know why I had one.”

  Carson sat back stunned into silence. Her eyes were wide with fright and I was instantly at her side. “What is it?” I implored.

  “I have ALS. I found out last month. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, honey.” A steady stream of tears began to fall down Mrs. Caverly’s face as she took her daughter from my arms and wrapped her in her embrace.

  I was at a loss for words. There was nothin’ I could do to make this any better for either of them, and I prayed that Lyndley already knew. “I’ll go call off the ambulance.” I stood and left the two of them sobbin’ in the living room. I called 9-1-1 back and explained the situation, and they told the ambulance they weren’t needed. I walked over to the fridge in a daze, and reached for a beer. I knew what loss felt like, and this was goin’ to wreck Carson.

  Twenty

  Carson

  I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mom’s mouth. There was no way she had that god-awful disease. I stood on the porch looking out across the vast open space laid out in front of me, when I felt Ruger’s arms wrap around my waist. I leaned into him trying not to let myself cry in front of him. Lord knows he had seen me cry enough tears.

  “How are you doin’, sweetheart?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t believe it.”

  “I know you don’t want to, but I don’t think your mom would lie to you about somethin’ like this.”

  “I know.” I breathed. “Why her? It’s just not fair.”

  “It never is. But you know, they have a lot of great medications out there for this stuff so that she can live longer.”

  I shook my head vigorously as I held back the onslaught of tears. “She doesn’t want them.”

  “Oh Carson, I’m so sorry.” I turned in Ruger’s arms and hugged him as tightly as I possibly could. “We’ll get through this. I promise. I’ll be by your side throughout the entire thing.”

  “How? You can’t even leave your property. I don’t want to put you in danger.”

  Ruger’s finger dipped under my chin and lifted my face up to look at him. “Look at me. My life means nothin’ if I don’t have you in it. I don’t care what I have to do, but I’ll make sure I’m by your side through this.”

  I nodded my head as he pressed his lips against mine. I just wanted to go back to two months ago when he was constantly annoying me and everything was fine. I didn’t want to be a grown-up anymore. I just wanted it all to go back to normal. Was that too much to ask? And somewhere between my mom telling me what was wrong and now, I found myself wondering if she was even going to tell me at all. And that’s when I started getting pissed off.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  “Carson, where are you goin’? Let your mom rest.”

  I barged into the room upstairs where my mom was resting, and shook her awake. “Mom. Mom, wake up.”

  “What Carson?”

  “Were you even going to tell me?”

  “What do you mean? Of course, I was.”

  “I don’t believe you.” I stood and started pacing around the room. “I honestly think that if you wouldn’t have had a seizure here, you would have never told me. What, were you just going to ship me off to Ruger, and then die in peace? Have you told Lyndley?”

  “Carson, come sit down and listen to me. I had every intention of telling you before it got too bad. With everything that happened with Ruger, I just wanted you to be able to live a somewhat normal life for a while.”

  “What is normal about being with someone and having to pretend their dead? Nothing in my life right now is normal.”

  “I’m sorry, Carson, but this is the life you chose. You chose to be with Ruger and now you have to live with your choice. Life isn’t a game, young lady.”

  I stood there while my mom chastised me like I was five, all over again. “You still didn’t answer my question. Does Lyndley know?”

  My mom bowed her head and I knew I had my answer. “Yes. I told her right after I found out, but in all fairness she is getting married. She needed to know.”

  “I don’t believe this. I’m nineteen years old, and you still treat her like she’s your favorite. God Mom, all I’m asking for is a little bit of respect. Is that too much to ask?”

  “You know she’s not my favorite, Carson. I don’t have favorites when it comes to my girls.”

  “Yeah. Yeah. When does your flight leave?” I knew I was being cold towards my mom, but I was seriously hurt by the whole situation.

  “Carson, don’t be like that please.”

  “Mom, what time?”

  “I have to be to the airport in an hour. How long does it take to get there?”

  “Not long. Maybe twenty minutes.”

  “Okay, let me get my stuff together, and then we can leave.”

  “I’ll see you downstairs.” I quietly shut the door behind me as I left the room and made my way downstairs, but I ran into Ruger on the way. “How much did you hear?”

  “
I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” He gave me a half-hearted smile. “Sweetheart, you’re not gonna be happy with yourself if you leave things like this with your mom. That’s all I’m sayin’.”

  “I know. It’s just so much to take in.” Ruger wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him. “Promise me you’ll never leave.” I whispered into the side of his neck.

  “I promise.”

  I started making my way down to the living room when I turned towards Ruger, who was still standing on the stairs watching me walk away. “Do you ever wish you would’ve just made it work with Rowan?”

  “Where is this even comin’ from?”

  “I just feel like you deserve more than what I have to offer.”

  “Carson, come here.” Ruger came down to meet me on the landing of the stairs. “I love you, Carson. I love every single thing about you. I wouldn’t give that up for anything.”

  It was the first time he had said those three words to me. Sure we had talked about how we felt, but we had never actually said those words. When I looked up at him those green eyes made me melt. “I love you too.” Ruger wrapped me up in his arms and kissed me deeper than he ever had before. When he pulled back a smile formed where a frown sat just minutes before. “You realize that’s the first time you’ve ever said that to me?”

  Ruger shook his head. “Actually it’s not. I tell you every night after you fall asleep on the phone with me. This is just the first time you’ve actually heard it.”

  “You’re seriously the sweetest thing.” I kissed him and as I turned to head downstairs, he slapped my ass.

  “So is that.” He laughed.

  “You’re bad.”

  “I’ll show you just how bad when you get back.”

  We both started to laugh and it felt good. It felt good to smile and feel like a teenager again. While we were laughing my mom came out of her room. Ruger ran up the steps to grab my mom’s bag for her. I could see her hands twitching and I immediately felt bad for the way I had spoken to her. I went upstairs and wrapped my arm through hers, helping her down the steps.

  “Alright Ruger. I expect you to take good care of my baby girl. Make sure she goes to school and helps out around the house.” My mom turned to hug Ruger and his face lit up. I think he was finally starting to feel accepted into our family.

  “I promise I will, Mrs. Caverley.”

  “Call me Anna.” Ruger smiled at my mom, and then at me.

  “Alright Mom, we have to go.”

  Ruger followed us out to the car and loaded my mom’s bag in the trunk. “I’ll see you in just a bit. Stay inside and out of trouble. You hear me?”

  “Yes ma’am.” He joked, and then kissed me good-bye. “See you soon, Anna.”

  My mom and I both waved and headed down the road. “Mom, I’m really sorry for what I said. I was out of line and you didn’t deserve any of that.”

  “Oh Carson, I know honey. I stopped taking anything you say personal when you were about fifteen.” I reached over and grabbed my mom’s hand. I could feel it twitching beneath my grip, but tried to focus on the road instead. The next month was going to be one of the hardest of my life and a true test of my strength. Not being able to see my mom or help take care of her everyday would be hard, but when the wedding came around, we would all get to be together again. I felt guilty for moving on with my life, when my mom was close to having hers end.

  I walked my mom over to the plane where they had a nurse waiting to escort her during the flight, which made me feel more comfortable. I hugged my mom tight against my body and didn’t want to let go of her. “I love you so much, Mom.”

  “I love you too, Carson. I’ll call you as soon as I get home. I promise.”

  I watched as she walked up the steps and couldn’t believe how I hadn’t noticed the signs of her illness before. Her hands trembled every time she reached for the railing to pull herself onto the next step, and her legs appeared to be wobbly and weak. As she struggled up the stairs, I wanted to run to her and help, but I knew she was in good hands. I waved good-bye to her and walked back to my car.

  As I was unlocking the doors to get in, I noticed a grey car across the lot with a man sitting inside. He was looking in my direction, but I didn’t recognize him at all. I quickly got in my car and sped out of the lot. I needed to get home as soon as I could, before anyone figured out who I was. Or even worse, who I was staying with.

  Twenty One

  Ruger

  I found myself pacin’ the length of my living room as I impatiently waited for Carson to get back from the airport. There was somethin’ wrong with the way that man had shown up here askin’ for me. Nobody knew where I lived, except for Ky, Carson, Lyndley, and the Marshal’s office. It was impossible that anyone could’ve found me. But what if someone had? What if in all the commotion, I let my guard down? I mean…it’s not like I show the best judgment when it comes to Carson and our relationship.

  I would’ve continued to beat myself down, but I heard tires kickin’ up rocks in the front drive. I pulled back the curtain of the front window just as Carson’s car came into view, but as I continued to look past her car to see if she had been followed, I noticed the exact same grey car that had been on my neighbor’s land just a few hours earlier. I slid my hand under my shirt, double checkin’ that I still had my gun in my waistband, as I started to make my way out onto the porch. I stood there, while Carson took her sweet ass time gettin’ out of her car. When she finally got out, I walked towards her and pulled her onto the porch with me.

  “Ouch, Ruger. You’re hurting my arm.” She was clawin’ at my fingers that were tightly gripped around her forearm.

  “Stop bein’ a princess, and get your ass up here and inside the house.” I pulled her through the bulletproof screen door, just as the grey car pulled right up next to Carson’s car.

  Carson dug into the back of my hand with her nails, drawin’ blood and I shouted in pain. “Doesn’t feel so good now, does it? Next time, just ask me.” She growled as she turned to walk away from me.

  “Carson, wait.” She stopped at the landing on the stairs and turned towards me. “Look, I’m sorry. But whoever is out there, I don’t know what their intentions are and I don’t know what I would do if somethin’ ever happened to you while you were in my care.”

  “So let me get this straight.” She slowly started to make her way back down the stairs and towards me. “Are we not in a relationship then? Am I just here so you can babysit me like usual? Please Ruger, tell me what the hell I came here for?” She was seethin’. I could tell just by the look in her eyes that she wasn’t willin’ to forgive me another time for treatin’ her this way.

  “Of course we are in a relationship. I asked you to come here with me. I didn’t tell you to, or order you to do it, did I?” I was using my words to manipulate her, and I could tell that she wasn’t buyin’ into my bullshit.

  “I will be upstairs in my room. Go deal with whoever that is. I’ll make sure I stay safe.”

  Before I could get a word in edgewise, she was up the stairs and slammin’ her bedroom door shut. I let out a loud aggravated sigh and made my way back down the steps and outside. The man that exited the car was most definitely the one that had been here earlier. I used my situational awareness to take in my surroundings, and made sure to have a clear escape, for Carson and myself, before approachin’ the man again. I stood at the top of the steps on my porch with my gun aimed in the man’s general direction.

  “I’m pretty sure I already told you that the man you’re lookin’ for, isn’t here. So why would you come back?” I shouted, causin’ him to stop midstride.

  “Look, I just need to ask you a few more questions, if that’s okay?”

  I shook my head. “There is nothin’ here for you. I would appreciate it if you got off of my property, now.” My gun was still pointed in his general direction, but it didn’t seem to faze him at all. He inched forward, and that’s when I had to finally point
it directly at him. “Take another step, and I’ll shoot.”

  He held his hands up in surrender, but kept movin’ in my direction. “Look, just three questions. That’s all I’m askin’. It is a matter of life or death.”

  I stood there lookin’ down the barrel of my gun, straight into this man’s eyes and saw that nothin’ in his expression made me think that he was here to kill me. I let out a sigh as I shook my head, lowerin’ my gun enough so that he would feel a bit at ease. “Well, shoot.”

  “Well I’ve already asked if you know a Ruger Smith. Now I need to know if you know a Ruger Worthington?” His eyes stayed on mine, tryin’ to gauge my reaction.

  Who did this guy think I was? Like I had no experience in lyin’, or bein’ caught off guard. “Nope. Don’t know him either.” I answered calmly.

  The man that stood about my height or maybe a few inches taller, pulled his hat from his head and rubbed the back of his arm across his forehead, most likely to get the sweat that I could see drippin’ from his brow. I took a mental picture of the man, and his full head of grey hair that sat on his head. After he placed his hat back on his head, the older gentleman stood there glancin’ around my property. This man was really tryin’ my patience. I was just about to ask what the fuck else I could help him with, but then he finally spoke again.

  “Do you own this house?”

  “Why do you ask?” I was in no mood for playin’ games, so I was seriously hopin’ he would hurry the fuck up.

  “Look, I’m not trying to play games with you. I know that’s what you think. I’m just lookin’ for-“

  “Yeah, I know. You’re lookin’ for someone. Unfortunately, I can’t help you. Now if there is somethin’ I can help you with, you might want to ask me that, or get the hell off of my property. Do you understand?” I was livid. This guy refused to leave my property, but wanted to ask a million and one questions that I wasn’t goin’ to answer. I stood there starin’ at him, and that overwhelmin’ feelin’ of familiarity came rushin’ back. “Do you mind if I ask you who you are?”

  “My name is Ryan Wesson. I think that’s all you need to know for now.”