Chasing Carson

by Amanda Bennett

  ~~~~

  Whatever the paramedic gave me had knocked my ass out cold, because I didn’t wake up until Ky was pulling into my driveway. Even though I had gotten about seven to eight hours of sleep, I still felt as though I could sleep the rest of the day. Unfortunately, my mom and dad weren’t going to let that happen. They came running out of the house the minute Ky put the car in park. The minute I was out of the car, my mom was pulling me into a big hug.

  “Oh my god, my sweet baby girl. Are you okay?” She held me out at arms length to look me over, and then pulled me back into a hug.

  “Mom, I’m fine. But you’re hurting me now.”

  “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” She placed her hand over the part of my shirt where the blood was starting to seep through a bit. “We should probably get that dressing changed.”

  I nodded. “Hey Mom, how are you feeling?”

  “Fit as a fiddle. Just look at me.” She turned to the side and stepped back to pose like a beauty queen.

  “You look great.” I laughed.

  “Get over here and give your old dad some love.” I slowly made my way over to my dad, letting him wrap me up in his outstretched arms. “I missed you, baby girl.”

  “I missed you too, Daddy.” He kissed the top of my head, and then I moved onto my sister who was patiently waiting for everyone else to finish up. “Hey sis.”

  “I’m so glad you’re okay, Carson. Now I know how you felt when I was gone. Don’t ever do that again.”

  “I promise.” I smiled. “Look, I’m still pretty beat. I’m going to go lay down if that’s okay?”

  “Of course it is, honey. I’ll help you get to your room.”

  “Thanks Mom.”

  When we got to the top of the stairs I tried to tell my mom that she didn’t have to put me to bed, but she insisted. I wasn’t sure what was causing her to want to treat me like a child, but it meant a lot to me to see how much she cared. I climbed in under the sheets and as my mom was pulling the comforter up, I could see her hands start to tremble. I reached out for them and brought them up to my lips, placing a small kiss to the back of both of them.

  “You sure you’re okay, Mom?”

  “Oh these.” She snatched her hands out of mine. “That’s nothing. Now get some rest.” She kissed my forehead then left me alone, and within seconds, I was fast asleep.

  Thirty One

  Ruger

  I was out muckin’ the horse stalls when my phone started ringin’ for what must’ve been the twentieth time. I pulled my hat off of my head and wiped the sweat from my brow with the back of my arm. For the past month I have been tryin’ to keep myself beyond busy. Not havin’ Carson here was a huge change that I wasn’t at all prepared for, but after everything that happened, I understood why she did what she did.

  My phone started to ring again, and I let out a loud huff. How important could it really be? Everyone knew I was technically on vacation, and there was no way in hell I was goin’ back to work early. I just wasn’t quite ready for it just yet. I glanced up and noticed that whoever it was left a voice message this time. I made my way over to the railin’ that went around the perimeter of the stable I was in, tore off my glove and pressed the play button. As soon as I heard Ky’s voice, I knew I shouldn’t have even bothered.

  I pressed the pause button, pulled my glove back on and went back to work. Some how I had managed to stay out of all of the weddin’ talk, and away from Chicago for the last month, but now we were only a week away from the actual day so Ky was on my ass. A minute later, I reached for the hose to spray out the stall, but saw a hand holdin’ it out for me. I looked up from under the brim of my hat and there stood Ky.

  “What the hell are ya doin’ here?” I ripped the hose out of his hand and continued to work.

  “Well hello to you too. I figured if you weren’t going to answer any of my calls, then I would just come to you. What’s been going on, man?”

  “Just been busy takin’ care of the farm, that’s all.” I didn’t look up from what I was doin’, mainly to prove a point.

  “How are you?”

  “Wakely, are we really goin’ to play this game? I’m fine, nothin’ has been goin’ on, and yes I will still be at your weddin’. You really didn’t have to come all the way out here to check on me. I’m fine.”

  “Yeah, that’s exactly what Carson says too and trust me, she’s not fine. How could you just let her go like that? You two are so infuriating it’s unreal. Why can’t you two just figure your shit out and be together already?”

  “Look, I don’t need a lecture from you Wakely. You just don’t get it. You got your happy endin’.” I started walkin’ out towards the other side of the barn, but Ky was right behind me. I quickly turned and pointed a finger in his chest. “And I didn’t just let her go. She walked away from me, or don’t you remember?”

  “That’s not how I remember it, but okay. Well then maybe you might be curious to know who they’ve had watchin’ over her.”

  I stopped midstride and turned to face Ky with a murderous glare. “I’m sorry, say what?”

  “Oh yeah, they put a Marshal on Carson for a little while, just until everything dies down and your father, I mean Rollins, testifies. And you’ll never believe who they put on her.”

  I could tell by the look in Ky’s eyes that I already knew who it was. “Fuckin’ Xander Wright.”

  “Bingo!” Ky sang.

  “Are you fuckin’ shittin’ me? What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? So he’s been like hangin’ out at the Caverly’s and what not? I’m sure they didn’t ask him to babysit Carson. Oh I bet they just love Xander, always so nice and polite. What a fuckin’ ass kisser. No fuckin’ way I’m lettin’ this go down.” I threw the shovel down and ripped my gloves off. “Let’s go.”

  “I like the enthusiasm and all, but you might want to shower, and put a shirt on dude, you’re makin’ me look bad.”

  I let out a loud chuckle, and then made my way over to the house. There was no way in hell I was about to lose my girl to Xander Wright, of all people. I jumped in the shower real quick and left Wakely to his own devices while I did so. When I got out, as I was applyin’ my shavin’ cream I couldn’t help but notice that I was in dire need of a haircut. My once short brown hair was now grown out and almost to the bottom of my ears. I was startin’ to look more like Timothy Olyphant and less like Ruger Worthington. Not that it was a bad thing or at least that’s what I’ve been told.

  I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, packed a small overnight bag and headed downstairs. As much as I told myself that I would stay away from Carson, and give her some space, this trip couldn’t have come at a better time. I missed her somethin’ fierce and I wasn’t exactly sure how much longer I would make it without her. I had tried to keep myself busy with the farm, but who was I kiddin’? I would never be over Carson, and in all honesty, I never wanted to be over her.

  “All right, let’s do this.” I shouted as I jumped down the last couple of stairs with my bag in my hands.

  “Well look at you.” Ky downed his beer and slammed his hands down on the counter. “Let’s do it!” He shouted.

  ~~~~

  About two hours later, we were in Chicago and on our way to Carson’s house. I wasn’t exactly sure how this was all goin’ to go down, but as long as I got Xander out of the fuckin’ picture, then I was okay with whatever happened next. We pulled up to the house and there were at least a dozen cars parked in the driveway and on the street. I was suddenly confused as to what Ky was bringin’ me to.

  “Dude, who the hell is here?”

  “Oh yeah, the Caverly’s are havin’ some shindig for Anna. It’s just them and a few of their close friends.”

  “Close friends? There are like fifteen cars parked outside. I’d say that’s more than a few friends, asshole.” I slapped him across his chest.

  “What the hell, Ruger.” He slapped me back. “Sorry, they have a lot of friends. I think it’s mainly
teachers that work with Anna. She had to quit a few weeks back.”

  “Wait, what? I can’t believe you didn’t fuckin’ tell me, dick.”

  “Why am I a dick? If you would’ve just made shit work with Carson, then you would know what is going on.”

  “This is fuckin’ bullshit. Dude, I can’t go in their house lookin’ like this.” I pointed down at my jeans and shirt.

  “You look fine. Let’s go.”

  Ky put the truck in park and hopped out. I was just gonna stay sittin’ in the truck like a big baby, but it would appear that Wakely wasn’t waitin’ for me to stop bein’ a baby. He was already headed inside. I quickly clambered out of the truck and practically fell on my face as I ran to catch up with him. I slapped Wakely across the back of his head just as I caught up with him, and the front door came flyin’ open. There in a red strapless sundress, stood all five feet eight inches of the one woman my heart would forever belong to. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure she wasn’t feelin’ that way about me.

  Thirty Two

  Carson

  “Well if it isn’t tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum. I’d ask what you’re doing here, but I’m pretty sure I already know the answer.” I pointed at Ky and stuck my tongue out.

  “Real mature, Carson.”

  “Oh please, because you both are so fucking mature? Whatever. Lyndley is looking for you, and I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that she is pissed.”

  “Thanks for the heads up. Well, I’m gonna go find my fiancé. You two have fun now.” I turned to tell Ky to go suck a dick, but he was already running away like a little girl.

  When I turned back around, I was secretly hoping that Ruger would be gone, but I wasn’t that lucky. “Why are you here Ruger?”

  “Um…well Wakely came to see me and said I should at least come see your mom and see how she is doing.”

  “Oh yeah, is that the only reason you came here with him?” I could tell he was contemplating his next lie to me, so I stood there with my hands on my hips, just staring at him.

  “I’m not gonna lie to you Carson. I came back for-“ I was waiting with baited breath for him to finish the sentence I had wanted to hear since the night I left with Ky, but he stopped. I was about to lay into him, but then I heard Xander’s voice coming from behind me.

  “Hey Ruger, what are you doing here?”

  “Hey Xander. I’m just here to see…Mrs. Caverly.” I could hear the disappointment in his voice, and I had to admit I was disappointed too.

  “Oh, well she’s out back with everyone else.”

  “I’ll take you out there.” I piped in before Xander could keep talking. “Xander was actually just leaving.”

  I reached for Ruger’s hand, and he took it, which surprised me. We both waved bye to Xander and made our way through the house. As we walked through the living room, I stopped and pulled him to a stop with me. There we stood, in my living room holding hands, looking one another in the eye. It was the perfect moment for him to say whatever it was he was thinking and for me to reciprocate. He opened his mouth to say something and I leaned forward so I wouldn’t miss a single word he said.

  “Carson, I…”

  “Oh my god, Ruger what in the world are you doing here?” My mom came running through the back doors and straight over to Ruger, wrapping him up in one of her famous hugs. I wanted to be irritated, but looking at how happy my mom was at this very moment, I couldn’t help but smile with her. “Oh you sneaky girl you. How did you keep this a secret? I thought the two of you were done?” My mom looked between Ruger and myself and I didn’t have the heart to lie to her.

  “I didn’t Mom. Ky actually brought Ruger. And we are still broken up.”

  “Well I don’t understand why. You two are perfect for one another. Well Ruger, you are welcome here anytime regardless of my daughter’s bad decisions.” My mom stuck her tongue out at me and looped her arm through Ruger’s before pulling him out back with her to show him off to all of her friends.

  It was so nice to see my mom in such high spirits given everything that she had been dealing with. Her ALS was rapidly progressing and we knew that it was only a matter of time before it caught up with her, and she was wheelchair bound. Watching her interact with everybody the way she was had me in awe. She was such a strong and amazing woman. She was my very own Wonder Woman, and she didn’t even know it.

  “Look at her.” I looked over as Lyndley looped her arm through mine.

  “She’s amazing.” We both stood there staring at our mother in wonder and amazement. “She’s exactly who I want to be when I grow up.” I laughed.

  “Me too. So, I see Ruger showed up. How are you dealing with that?”

  “What ever do you mean? He’s just a guy.”

  “Oh please. You and I both know he is not just some guy. You’re telling me that when you opened that door and saw him standing there, that you felt nothing?”

  I looked at Lyndley out of the corner of my eye. “Absolutely nothing.” I lied.

  “Mmmhmm sure.”

  “And what are you two beautiful ladies doing?” Ky came up behind us draping his arms over our shoulders and squeezing his little head between ours.

  “Well we were just talking about Lyndley’s escape plan at the wedding. You know, so she won’t have to marry your punk ass.” Lyndley and I both busted out in laughter, catching the attention of everyone outside.

  “Look what the both of you did. You interrupted the old people’s good time.” Ky laughed as he made his way out to where Ruger was standing surrounded by a bunch of little old ladies.

  “Look at those old biddies, they are in heaven right now.” Lyndley joked. “Hey Carson, can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “What would you do if Ruger never tells you how he really feels? I swear I’m not trying to be mean, I am just curious.”

  I glanced back out at Ruger, and noticed him staring at me while talking to one of my mom’s colleagues. I could feel the blush creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. “Honestly, I don’t know. I guess then we would just go our separate ways like we have been doing.”

  “Are you joking me right now? Why? You love him and he loves you, just because he won’t say that he still does, first, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t tell him.” Lyndley grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me to face her. “Look, I’m your big sister and I love you more than life itself, but you’re being a dumbass.”

  “I don’t really think you are one to judge. Look at all the shit you and Ky went through. You pushed him away like it was your job, and look at you guys now.”

  “Yeah, the only difference is, Ruger isn’t Ky. Ky fought for me. Ruger seems to be perfectly happy just sitting on the couch waiting for you.”

  I watched Ruger as he interacted with every single person outside. Everyone that was here was quite a bit older than sixty, and he still had a smile on his face as he made his way around the crowd. Not once did he look like he was faking nice, or placating anyone. I could feel my heart start to beat faster as I would catch him stealing glances of me, and my palms began to sweat. Being around him made me nervous and self conscious, but never insecure.

  Every time he would touch someone’s hand, or their shoulder, I found myself yearning for him to touch me. He was undeniably handsome and today was no exception. His hair had grown out quite a bit since the last time I saw him, but it fit him in a way. Looking at him, I couldn’t help but think that there wasn’t a single thing about this man that I didn’t love. The truth was, I loved every single thing about this man, especially how much he loved me.

  “You’re going to stare a hole right through him if you keep that up.” Lyndley joked. “Just go out there and tell him how you feel.”

  I started to walk outside, but something stopped me. I turned towards Lyndley with a somber expression. “I can’t.” I muttered as I turned and started to head towards the kitchen. Today just wasn’t the day, and I wasn’t sure that day would be any day soon.


  Thirty Three

  Ruger

  I couldn’t help but steal glimpses of her as much as I could. She was captivatingly beautiful and every ounce of me wanted to let her know that. I knew how cowardly I was being by not just tellin’ her how I felt, but part of me wanted her to be the one to come to me. In all fairness I knew that I was goin’ to be the one that walked away that night, but the fact that she did it before me, made me realize that maybe she was right. Obviously we both felt that it was the right thing to do, to walk away, but now I was hopin’ that we could find our way back to each other.

  “Hey man. You having a good time?”

  “Absolutely.” I answered sarcastically.

  “How did it go with Carson?”

  “How did what go? We didn’t really say a whole lot to one another. Xander interrupted us when I was about to tell her that I missed her and wanted a second chance. So yeah, it went great.” I rolled my eyes in irritation.

  “Maybe you can talk Dunn into giving you Carson’s detail. He might just go for it.”

  “Nah, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “And having Xander around her twenty four seven, is?”

  I shook my head in aggravation, “I really don’t think there’s much I can do about Xander, but I have a feelin’ that it won’t take much for me to get back into Carson’s heart.”

  “Oh really? And how are you privy to this knowledge?”

  “A true master never reveals his secrets.” I joked.

  “Well at least you’ve got…”

  “Well hey there, fellas. Ruger, nice to see you again.”

  “Mr. Caverly, it’s good to see you as well. How are you holdin’ up?” I shook Mr. Caverly’s hand, and then motioned for him to take a seat across from us.