Chasing Carson

by Amanda Bennett

  “What if she leaves me, just like Olivia did?”

  And there it was ladies and gentlemen. “I swear I hate that bitch. Lyndley isn’t Olivia, Ky. Lyndley would put you before herself. It takes a very selfless person to do that. Olivia was the complete opposite of that. Olivia was just plain selfish. I see you and Lyndley bein’ together forever, havin’ tons of babies and then little grandbabies. Y’all are gonna be just fine.”

  “You called me Ky.”

  His statement caught me off guard. “Okay.”

  “You never call me Ky.”

  “Look, Ky, you and Lyndley are perfect for one another. Now suck it up and get out there and marry her before someone else comes and swoops her up.” I joked, and it made him smile. “There ya go.” Just then Xander walked in with the water. I snatched a bottle from him and opened it. “Drink some of this, and let’s go.”

  He nodded, drank down half of the bottle of water, and then we all headed downstairs and outside to where the ceremony was bein’ held. The hotel that Lyndley had chosen was absolutely beautiful. The ceremony was completely outside on the edge of a cliff that overlooked the vast city below. And for the first time in, well, forever, I actually saw myself wantin’ to marry Carson at a place like this.

  “You ready, son?” Mr. Caverly was standin’ with us as we made our way out where we were supposed to wait for our cue to walk out in front of everyone. Ky nodded at Lyndley’s father, and then he puked. He puked all over the grass where we were standin’, and I just couldn’t contain my laughter.

  “It’s okay, son. I did the same thing before I married Anna.”

  “Really?” Ky spoke between bouts of throwin’ up.

  “Sure did. I honestly think it’s a good omen. Means you’re marrying the woman you’re supposed to. You going to be okay? I have to get my daughter now and walk her down the aisle. You going to be at the end?” Mr. Caverly laughed as Ky stood there noddin’ repeatedly. “See you out there.” He slapped Ky’s shoulder and then left.

  “Do you have any mints?”

  I waved my hand in front of my face, tryin’ to get Ky’s rancid breath out of the path of my nostrils. “Here, eat like ten of them.” Ky took what was left in the tin and dumped them all in his mouth. “Good?”

  “Yep. Let’s do this.”

  The song that we were supposed to walk out to began to play, and I had to nudge Ky to get him to start walkin’. We followed the priest up the side of the guests in their seats, and out to the small stage that was covered in white and lavender rose petals. There was a large arch that we stood under that was decorated with the same color flowers and thick greenery. It was understated yet beautiful. It was Lyndley all wrapped up in a perfect bow.

  The words to Sam Smith’s song Stay With me began to pump through the speakers as everyone stood. Carson was the first one to walk down the aisle and the minute I saw her turn the corner in her long, curve huggin’ strapless dress, I almost lost it. The curls of her bright blonde hair covered her bare shoulders and cascaded down her chest. She had one side pinned back with a diamond-encrusted clip, showin’ off her long danglin’ diamond earrings and her long gorgeous neck. She looked stunning. She looked directly at me as she continued to make her way towards me, and I found myself envisionin’ what she would look like on our wedding day. She walked up the one step and onto the other side of the priest and all I could do was smile wide at her beauty.

  Ky nudged me to let me know that Lyndley was comin’. Mr. Caverly and her slowly started to make their way down the aisle, and I could see the look of pure bliss on Lyndley’s face. She looked amazin’ in her dress, and I watched as she tried her damndest to try and not cry. Her father whispered to her as they made their way up to the front, and I could only imagine the pearls of wisdom that he was bestowing upon her in this moment. The music faded and Mr. Caverly hesitantly gave his daughter’s hand to Ky.

  “Who gives this woman to this man?”

  “Her mother and I do.” Mr. Caverly choked down the emotions that were threatenin’ to boil over as he kissed Lyndley’s cheek and then took his seat.

  As the priest spoke, I found myself starin’ at Carson, agreein’ with every single thought that the priest read aloud. Carson stood there listenin’ intently at what the priest had to say, but every once in a while, I caught her lookin’ over in my direction. My eyes never left her face, and I couldn’t wait for the day that I could call her mine. Life was too short to try and fight against everythin’ that felt so right, and real. Whether she believed it or not, there was no one else in this world that could hold a candle to her. She was the true meanin’ of amazin’. She made me feel as though I could conquer the world on a daily basis, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life provin’ to her that I was worthy of her love.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Ky Wakely.”

  Everyone clapped and cheered for the happy couple as they started makin’ their way down the aisle. I moved forward and held out my arm for Carson to take, and she did. I clasped my other hand over hers and pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek as we started to make our way down the aisle as well. “You look ravishing.” She looked up at me with a smile and I couldn’t stop myself from bendin’ down to kiss her.

  “You look quite dapper. You clean up nicely, Ruger.”

  “Why thank you, sweetheart. You know this could be us one day, if that’s somethin’ you would want.”

  She looked up at me with wet eyes and smiled. “Definitely something I would want.”

  We continued to make our way towards Ky and Lyndley to do pictures before everyone headed inside for dinner, drinks and dancin’. There wasn’t a single picture that Carson and I took that didn’t involve me holdin’ her some sort of way. I don’t know what it was, but I felt as though she was fallin’ through my grasp, and the tighter I held onto her, the more secure I felt.

  “Can I talk to you for a second.” I whispered below her ear causin’ her arm to break out in goose bumps. She nodded, and we excused ourselves for just a few minutes. I lead her over to the edge of the cliff as I tightly held her hand in mine. When we stopped walkin’, I turned towards her and took in a deep breath.

  “Are you okay? You’re holding my hand awfully hard.”

  “Oh sorry.” I laughed nervously as I eased up on her hand.

  “Ruger, you look so nervous. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothin’. I’m okay, sweetheart. I just had somethin’ I needed to tell you, and I just couldn’t wait any longer.”

  “You’re scaring me, Ruger.” I could see the fear in her eyes and all I wanted to do was take her fears away.

  “Carson, I don’t think that a day has gone by since I’ve met you, that I haven’t thought about you. I never in a million years thought that I would be able to find someone that I could trust and who would accept me for me. We’ve been tested more times than I can count, but some how or another we always end up in a stronger place because of it. You’ve been my strength when I didn’t know I needed it, and my hope when I never expected it. I don’t think I could imagine a life without you in it, and I don’t want to have to. You’ve shown me how to love someone besides myself, and you’ve taught me that I am worthy of love, but most importantly that I’m worthy of your love. I just want to know,” I bent down on one knee and took her left hand in mine as I pulled out a small black velvet box with the other. “Will you spend the rest of your life puttin’ up with me, and makin’ a life with me? Will you marry me, and make me complete?”

  I was scared to look up at her, afraid that she would say no, but I took my chances anyway. When I caught sight of her glistenin’ green eyes starin’ back at me, my heart melted. She was vigorously noddin’ her head yes as tears fell down her face like rain. “Yes today, yes tomorrow, every day from now until forever, it will be yes.”

  I pushed the ring on her finger and picked her up in my arms, swingin’ her around and around. I set her down and made sure the ring fit her. She stood there
starin’ at it in awe. This was it. This was my life, my friend, and most of all my love, forever and for always.

  Forty

  Carson

  Two Months Later

  Shortly after the wedding and my engagement, we threw a huge party. A party to celebrate the copious amounts of love that this family had. We celebrated my mom and dad, Ky and Lyndley and Ruger and myself. There were hundreds of people in attendance and I couldn’t have been happier if I tried. Since everybody was already there, Ruger and I decided that we would marry that night, in front of everyone we cared for in our lives. It wasn’t anything fancy, and we did the entire thing in my parent’s backyard, but it was exactly what I wanted. It was me.

  My mom’s health had been declining and though it didn’t have everything to do with how quickly we got married, it did have a tiny bit to do with it. I didn’t want my mom to miss out on anything that she didn’t have to. And marrying the man of my dreams was the one thing I absolutely had to have my mom there for.

  About a month later, Lyndley and Ky found out that they were pregnant and the thought of having a grandchild pushed my mom’s happiness to exponential amounts. Lyndley, Ky, Ruger and Myself all moved into my parent’s gigantic house right after the wedding. We knew how people would look at us, but none of us cared, because we got to spend the last little bit of our mother’s life with her, everyday. The house was constantly filled with laughter and joy, but most of all love, and near the end, I think that’s all my mom ever wanted. She got to witness her girls’ lives play out in front of her, and I believe it made it easier for her near the end, knowing that we were in good capable hands.

  The rain was steadily coming down around us, as we stood in the sea of black. The only sound I could hear were those of the raindrops falling onto the vinyl umbrellas that we all held. I glanced around at all of the familiar faces in front of me and I found comfort in knowing that my mother had touched so many lives. The priest made his way over to the podium, smiling as he looked out onto the crowd of people that were here to show their love for such an amazing woman, and friend.

  I clutched tightly onto Ruger’s elbow as we maneuvered our way over to our seats in front of the casket. My father sat between his two girls, holding our hands up to his heart. There were no tears to be shed, and as much as I wanted to cry, I knew my mother wouldn’t want it. We had said our good-byes before she passed, and she made each and every one of us promise that we wouldn’t cry at her funeral. She made it perfectly clear that the person inside the casket was no longer her, that was now just a body and her spirit would be sitting with us on the day that we buried her. Today was that day.

  “Today we are here to celebrate the life of Anna Christine Caverly. A woman who put all others above herself. She was a living angel on this earth and she impacted so many people. Heaven has received a glorious gift, as they accept Anna into their sanctuary. I have here a note that she left and personally asked me to read here today. So bear with me as I try to get through this.”

  I glanced up at my dad and over at Lyndley, but they both shrugged their shoulders. None of us were aware of what the note could entail. I wasn’t the least bit surprised that my mom would do something like this, she was definitely full of surprises, especially during her last days. I clutched Ruger’s hand tightly in the one that wasn’t holding my father’s and forced myself to not cry. Ruger squeezed my hand back and looked at me with a warm smile.

  “This is gonna be good.” He whispered, and just like that, my frown turned into a smile.

  “I know I didn’t lead a crazy life by any means, but my life was definitely full of adventure. My life didn’t truly start until I met my loving husband, and we had our amazing daughters, Carson and Lyndley. I found comfort and joy in everything that my children did, and before too long, they were my entire world. I made sure to capture every moment and hide it away deep within in mind so whenever I was feeling lonely or missing my girls, I could pull those memories out and relive them. Being a teacher brought me great joy throughout the years. Once my babies were no longer babies, I found comfort in my job and how I could touch so many lives just by spending an hour and a half with them each day. When I was diagnosed with this awful disease, I never expected to live long enough to experience the things I wanted to, or see my girls do the things a mother always wants to witness. Fortunately, I got to witness all of it. I got to watch my oldest and then my youngest marry two men that I am so proud to call my sons. They taught me how to love myself again and showed me just how much love there is out in the world. My princesses found their princes and I am so grateful that I got to witness that kind of love. Although I won’t be around to witness my first grandchild’s birth, or get to hold him or her or feed em’, I did get to witness my daughter’s first ultrasound and hear my grandchild’s heartbeat. I know I will miss so much once I’m gone, but I want them to know that I will always be watching over them, and technically I will see it all. Lyndley, know that no matter what you do in this life, I will always be proud of you. You are my oldest daughter and I cherish the friendship that we were able to have since you were little. I know you will make an amazing mother, and Ky will make an amazing father. I don’t doubt that my grandchild will never have to question how much they are loved. Carson, my sweet little girl. You have taught me so much throughout the years. Your vibrant personality and willingness to get to know everybody makes you such an amazing young woman. You are so full of life, and have never been afraid to put yourself out there, despite the harshness that this world has to offer sometimes. You truly found your soul mate in Ruger and I’m so thrilled that the two of you finally pulled your heads out of your asses, and realized that the two of you were meant to be.”

  We all shared a laugh before the priest continued. “Ky and Ruger I expect the both of you to take good care of my daughters and my grandchildren. I’m so thankful that the two of you are a part of this family and even more thankful that I got the opportunity to meet you both. Lastly, to my husband Greg. I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better person to live my life with. You have been my partner, my friend, my lover, and just an all around amazing person to know. I have loved you from the first day we met, and I never stopped. Over the years, my love for you has continued to grow. Our life, our children and our love is what pushed me through this life so effortlessly. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in crime, and I thank you for all the wonderful years that we had together. Look out for our girls and make sure you spend as much time as you can enjoying them, our grandchildren and just life in general. To all my friends and family, I have loved you all for so long and will continue to do so from beyond. Don’t cry for me, celebrate who I am. All my love, Anna.”

  I glanced around the cemetery at all of the attending friends and family and the looks on their faces. There were some tears for sure, but most people took what my mother said to heart and dried their eyes. As I looked at my father, I noticed that there was a stray tear falling down his flushed cheek, but he had a smile on his face.

  “Daddy, are you okay?” I whispered.

  “I am, honey. I can feel your mom with us right now, and I know that we are all going to be okay.”

  I pressed my lips tenderly to my dad’s cheek. “I know we are. We have to be.”

  After the priest was finished with his sermon, we all stood and one by one placed a white rose on the top of my mother’s casket. The five of us stood at the edge of the casket, waiting for everyone else to say their good-byes. Once they all left, we all pulled out our red roses. I decided to go first. I placed my rose right in the middle of the stack of white roses and took in a deep breath.

  “To my mother, a woman I will always strive to be. I love you Mom, today, tomorrow, and the next.” I stepped back and Lyndley and her tiny baby bump stepped forward next.

  “To my mother, a woman who will always be my hero. I just hope that I can be as good at being a mom as she was.” She stepped back and I felt Ruger’s hand slip from mine.r />
  “To my mother, a woman who knew how to accept everyone, including me. She was all class.” He placed his rose on the casket and turned towards me, placing a small kiss against my lips. “I love you.” I smiled and she whispered “I love you,” back.

  Next Ky stepped forward. “To my mother, a woman who knew me before I fully knew myself.” Ky stepped behind Lyndley, wrapping his arms around her expanding waist and resting his hands on top of her baby bump.

  As my father stepped forward, tears started to form in my eyes. I knew whatever he was going to say, was going to break my heart. “To my wife, my best friend, and my partner. Life will never be the same without you, but you made my life a life worth living. I will always love you, and never forget you. I love you.”

  My father’s hands began to shake as he raised them to place the rose on her casket. Lyndley and I both stepped forward and wrapped our arms tightly around our father’s waist. He wrapped his arms securely around each of our shoulders, and pulled us in close, placing a kiss to the top of both of our heads. “I love you both, so much.”

  “We love you too, Daddy.”

  As we all turned and started to make our way out of the cemetery, I saw a crack in the clouds, and a ray of sunshine pushing its way through. It had been raining all day, and this was the first bit of sunlight to show itself. We all glanced at one another with a knowing smile. Leave it up to Mom to make her presence known. We stopped midstride and stared at the rays of sun that were still breaking its way through the dark and gloomy clouds, and just as another ray broke through, a rainbow appeared. We stood there, all five of us hand in hand ready to face the world together, in memory of an amazing mom, wife and grandma, one Anna Caverly, the heart of our family that will forever beat on.

  The End