Stay as Sweet as You Are

by Joan Jonker

  Greg looked at Aggie while jerking his head at his brother. ‘How long d’yer think he’s good for, Mrs Aggie?’

  ‘Ooh, let’s see now.’ She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. ‘I’d say, at a guess, he’s got at least sixty, seventy years.’

  ‘I’m not hanging around that long for a pair of kecks that will have been eaten by the moths.’ Greg patted Jack on his shoulder. ‘Sorry, pal, but the only way ye’re getting out of helping with the dishes is by breaking a leg. I could arrange that for yer if ye’re desperate.’

  Lucy’s giggling attracted their attention. ‘You two don’t half look daft with yer paper hats hanging down over yer eyes. And while ye’re arguing the toss, we’re eating all the goodies.’

  Jack glared at his brother. ‘See what yer’ve done? Why d’yer have to talk so much?’ He reached out and took a jelly cream in one hand and a fairy cake in the other. ‘Honest, ye’re like a flippin’ parrot what’s been living with that Mrs Gibson for a few years.’

  This brought forth howls of laughter. Mrs Gibson lived at the very top of the street. She was a thin wiry woman who waved her arms about when she was speaking and her mouth was in constant motion. She lived on her own and because she had no one in the house to talk to, she made up for it by standing at her front door and gossiping to everyone who passed. And once she had you in her clutches she hung on tight. No one knew where she got her information from, but everything that happened in the surrounding streets was known by Mrs Gibson. And she was always willing to pass it on to anyone who would stand and listen to her. The trouble was, she went all around the world to tell you something and people didn’t always have the time.

  Aggie wiped the laughter tears away. ‘We shouldn’t be mocking the poor soul, she’s harmless enough. Just a lonely old woman, that’s all.’

  ‘Yes, she’s all right, really,’ said Steve, who only lived a few doors from Mrs Gibson. ‘She’s always got a smile for yer.’ Then he couldn’t keep the grin back. ‘Mrs Aggie, I’m not making fun of her, honest. But have yer ever noticed that people stop just before they get to her house, take a deep breath and then make a run for it?’

  Titch, who’d been leaning his elbows on the sideboard, straightened up. ‘I’ve done that meself, son, I’ve got to admit. She’s a nice woman, but by God can she talk! I was coming home on leave one day, with me rucksack over me shoulder, when she stopped me. And I couldn’t get a word in edgeways. D’yer know, me leave was up before I could shut her up? I had to turn right around and go back to the ship without even seeing me ma.’

  Oh, how Jack was enjoying this. He thrived on laughter. ‘Were they only giving yer a few hours’ leave, that trip, Mr Titch?’

  Titch shook his head solemnly. ‘No, son, I had ten days’ leave due to me.’

  Rhoda gaped. She wasn’t used to the McBride and Pollard humour and had taken Titch seriously. ‘That’s terrible, that is. Yer should have told her. I know I would have done.’ She couldn’t make out why this brought forth more laughter. But so she wouldn’t look daft, she laughed along with them. What she had succeeded in doing though, was to convince Greg that she was indeed barmy.

  By seven o’clock every dish had been washed and the place tidied. All done by the youngsters, who made Aggie sit with her feet up. They’d had the time of their lives and it was their way of saying thank you to her and Titch. And the day wasn’t over for them, they’d enjoy themselves playing games in the Pollards’. But Steve was worried about leaving his mother for so long.

  ‘Mrs Aggie, I’ll have to nip home and see how me mam is. I wouldn’t enjoy meself if I didn’t know she was all right.’

  ‘I’m on me way down there right now, lad, so yer’ve no need to worry. I’m taking her a plate of sandwiches and cakes, seeing as she couldn’t come to the party. But if I think there’s the least thing wrong, I’ll let yer know. Yer have me promise on that.’

  Chapter Thirteen

  ‘I can’t stay long, girl, ’cos as yer know, our Titch has invited a few friends in for a drink.’ Aggie placed the plate on the table and was heartened to see Olive’s eyes showing appreciation. ‘The kids have had a whale of a time, really enjoyed themselves. And of course, seeing them happy made me happy. Some youngsters are hard-faced and pushy, but not the Pollard boys, or Lucy or Steve. The world won’t go far wrong if everyone grows up like them.’

  ‘Thanks for inviting Steve, Aggie, I really do appreciate it. He went out of here with his head held high, his chest sticking out a mile and a real swagger to his walk. All courtesy of the McBride family.’

  ‘He’s worrying about leaving yer for so long, but yer don’t mind, do yer, Olive? Let him get as much enjoyment out of life as he can, eh?’

  ‘Tell him not to worry, I’m fine. As soon as yer’ve gone, I’ll be tucking into those sausage rolls, sandwiches and jelly creams. God, it’s years since I had a jelly cream, and I used to make loads of them.’

  ‘I’ll be on me way then, queen, to welcome the guests.’ Aggie got to the door before putting into play the plan she’d concocted in her head. Tutting loudly, she turned. ‘I’ve got a head like a sieve. I was going without giving yer this.’ She pulled a folded piece of beige linen from her pocket and opened it up. It was a sideboard runner, and it had small coloured flowers embroidered on it. ‘I came across this yesterday, when I was cleaning me cupboard out. It’s that long since I’ve seen it, I’d forgotten I had it. I’ve got no use for it, and it would be a shame to throw it in the bin. Would yer be insulted if I asked if yer wanted it for yer sideboard?’

  ‘Are you sure yer don’t want it?’ Olive looked suspicious. ‘It looks too good to throw in the bin.’

  ‘That’s what I thought, girl.’ As quick as a flash the runner was on the sideboard and Aggie was standing back admiring it. ‘There yer are, it looks a treat.’

  Olive thought the runner looked lovely, but she wasn’t convinced. ‘I’ve got a feeling ye’re telling me fibs, Aggie McBride.’

  ‘What would I gain from telling lies, girl? Not a bleedin’ thing. I’ve got loads of stuff at home that’ll never see daylight. Our Titch used to bring me all sorts home after every trip, until in the end I had to put a stop to it ’cos I had nowhere to put the things. A lot of stuff was stored in me loft and I haven’t seen it for years. There’s vases, ornaments and pictures, everything yer could mention.’ Here goes, thought Aggie. In for a penny, in for a pound. ‘I’ll get Titch on the ladder tomorrow and ask him to hand some of the stuff down. Yer may think it’s rubbish, and I wouldn’t be offended if yer said so. But yer may as well have a root through it and see if there’s anything yer like, instead of it rotting up there. This place could do with a few things to brighten it up, God knows. So how about it? D’yer want to have a dekko, or are yer going to go all stubborn and get yer knickers in a twist?’

  ‘I’m not a stubborn person, Aggie, and I never get me knickers in a twist because they’re that old they wouldn’t stand the strain.’ Olive smiled. ‘How can I refuse such kindness?’

  ‘That’s settled then. I’ll see yer tomorrow, please God. And now I’d better be on me way, queen. Ta-ra.’

  Aggie was nearing her house when she saw Bob closing his front door. And even at this distance she could see Ruby wasn’t in a very happy mood. If she spoils my son’s night, I’ll marmalise her, the miserable bleeding cow, Aggie thought, but for Bob’s sake she raised a smile. ‘I hope yer singing voice is in tune, Bob.’ She inserted the key in the lock and looked over her shoulder. ‘And you, Ruby – we’ll expect a song from you as well.’

  ‘Some hope you’ve got.’ Ruby managed to inject a sneer into her voice. ‘I’ve no intention of making a fool of meself.’

  Bob looked sideways and shook his head. With her hair dyed a horrible yellowy blonde, and thick bright make-up plastered on her face, his wife didn’t need anyone else to make a fool of her, she did that herself.

  As Aggie stood aside to let them enter the house before her, she groaned inwardly. Ye gods an
d little fishes, this was a fine start to a party. If Ruby kept that face on her all night, Titch wouldn’t think twice about telling her. And that would put the cat among the pigeons. Still, one way or another, the evening promised to be a lively one.

  Irene and George greeted Ruby warmly, but all they got in reply was a curt nod. Titch was the only one favoured with a smile. ‘What’s yer poison, Ruby?’ He pointed to the array of bottles on the sideboard. ‘I’ve got beer if yer want it, or there’s port, whisky or gin.’

  ‘I’ll have gin, please, Titch.’ Ruby sat in a chair on the opposite side of the room to her husband. A move not lost on the rest of the company. And each one asked themselves why this woman always had to belittle Bob. She didn’t know she was born with a husband like him, he was far too nice a person for her.

  Irene broke the silence. ‘Do yer like Lucy’s new coat, Ruby?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Ruby smiled up at Titch and took the glass from him. Then, sensing all eyes on her, she added, ‘It’s very nice.’

  George stared down into his glass of bitter. Why should they all put themselves out to be nice to a woman who couldn’t be bothered to be pleasant in return? ‘Nice, did yer say, Ruby? I thought it was more than nice. I thought it was a real beauty, like the girl herself.’

  Titch glanced at his mother as she rocked in her chair, a glass of stout in her hand. He could read her mind and knew that right now she would willingly wring someone’s neck. He wasn’t surprised at Ruby’s behaviour, he hadn’t expected anything else. She was an unhappy woman who thought she deserved more out of life than she was getting. A loving husband and daughter weren’t enough for her, she didn’t want the ties that bound her down.

  His elbow leaning on the sideboard, and a grin on his face, Titch said, ‘George is right about Lucy being a real beauty, Ruby. A few years from now there’ll be broken hearts lying all over the place.’

  ‘So they say.’ Ruby lifted the glass to her lips and downed the gin as though it was water. ‘Can I have the same again, Titch?’

  ‘Ay, yer’d better watch it, Ruby, this is strong stuff.’ Titch had given her a generous measure to begin with, and she’d drunk it in about ten minutes. At this rate she’d be flat out in no time. ‘I don’t want to see yer rolling home.’

  Ruby’s lips curled. ‘Don’t worry, Titch, I can hold me drink. Yer’ll never see me rolling home, no matter how many I have.’

  Her bragging inflamed Bob. Self, self, self, that’s all she ever thought about. ‘You get drunk and yer can crawl home on yer hands and knees,’ he interjected. ‘I won’t be carrying yer.’

  Ruby lit a cigarette before taking her refilled glass. Then she inhaled deeply and blew the smoke in her husband’s direction. ‘Yer’d be the last one I’d want to carry me home.’

  The rocking chair was brought to a halt and Aggie sat forward. ‘That’s enough of that. Any families differences yer can air at home, not here. This is supposed to be a friendly gathering, so let’s keep it that way. And I don’t want to hear no more talk of drunken women, ’cos there’s no worse sight than to see a woman the worse for drink.’

  George had had enough. At this rate they’d be coming to blows. ‘When are yer due back at yer ship, Titch?’

  ‘I’ll go down to the docks on Tuesday, see how things are. We’ll likely be sailing on Wednesday or Thursday. But it’ll be a short trip this time, probably only two or three weeks.’

  ‘Will yer be glad to get yer sea legs back again?’ Irene asked, glad the conversation had been steered to safer ground. ‘Have yer missed it?’

  ‘I won’t be sorry to get back, but I can honestly say I haven’t missed it this time. There seems to have been a lot going on to keep me occupied. And of course I’ve enjoyed me ma’s company and good food.’

  ‘I suppose yer’ve been helping that Olive Fletcher, like soft lad here.’ Ruby drained her glass. ‘I don’t know why yer bother, the house will be filthy again in no time.’

  Titch had no intention of going down that road. And he could see his mother’s set face and knew she was ready to explode. ‘Drink up, fellers, there’s a crateful to get through.’

  ‘I’ll have a whisky this time, mate,’ George said, ‘if it’s all the same to you.’

  ‘And me.’ Bob was on tenterhooks, afraid of what his wife would come out with next. She didn’t care who she insulted or offended. Never again would he inflict her on his friends.

  ‘Fill mine up while ye’re at it, Titch.’ Oblivious to the tension in the room, Ruby held her glass out. ‘It’s a nice drop of gin, that.’

  ‘Yer’ll have to wait until I see to the men. And me ma and Irene.’ Titch’s even temper was beginning to fray. ‘You’re last in the queue.’

  Ruby put her glass down at the side of her chair and lit another cigarette. ‘Like I was saying about the Fletchers, ye’re all wasting yer time.’

  Irene got to her feet to take her drink off Titch, then she looked down into her neighbour’s face. ‘Listen, Ruby, we’re all friends of the Fletchers in this room, so we’d be grateful if yer would just keep yer mouth shut. Yer don’t know the first thing about them, so ye’re in no position to discuss their private affairs. So do yerself, and all of us, a favour by keeping yer trap buttoned up tight.’

  Ruby was about to let fly with a tirade of abuse, when Titch intervened. ‘A gin again, is it, Ruby?’

  By a quarter to nine you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. Ruby never stopped talking, and it was always to pull people down. She’d had too much to drink, her eyes were glazed and her words slurred. Bob was so ashamed he couldn’t take any more.

  ‘I’ll go and get Lucy – it’s time she was in bed.’ He handed his glass to Titch, his eyes telling of his torment. ‘Come on, Ruby, time to go home.’

  ‘I’m all right here, you go for her.’

  ‘I’m not asking yer, I’m telling yer.’ Bob snatched the cigarette from her mouth and threw it in the grate. Then he grasped the top of her arms and jerked her to her feet. ‘Get yer bag and let’s go.’

  Ruby struggled as a stream of obscenities left her lips. But too much drink had made her unsteady on her feet and she was no match for her husband. ‘I’ll be back when I’ve seen Lucy to bed, Titch,’ Bob said, ‘if that’s all right with you?’

  Aggie got her words out before her son had a chance. ‘Of course it is. Ye’re always welcome in this house, Bob, yer know that.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Bob literally dragged Ruby into the hall. ‘Needless to say, my wife will not be with me.’

  Titch went to the door to make sure Bob could manage the woman who was struggling to get free, even though she would have fallen without her husband’s hands holding her up. And her language was the language of the gutter.

  ‘Well, did you ever!’ Aggie said when her son came back into the room. ‘Fancy having to live with the likes of that! I don’t know how Bob puts up with it, he must be a saint.’

  ‘He deserves a medal,’ Irene said, her heart filled with sympathy for the man who had been humiliated in front of them all. ‘He’s a smashing bloke, far too good for her. What she needs is a man who’ll give her a go-along now and again when she steps out of line.’

  ‘I’ll tell yer what,’ Titch said, ‘if I wasn’t off marriage before, I certainly am now.’

  ‘Ay, all women are not like Ruby, yer know.’ George reached for his wife’s hand. ‘Take Irene here, she’s a perfect wife and mother. Bob just picked the wrong one.’

  ‘Yer can’t say that, George.’ Aggie pushed her feet down on the floor to set her chair in motion. ‘If yer think back to the early years of their marriage, Ruby was a different person. She was friendly and easy to get along with.’

  ‘She wasn’t bad looking, either.’ Titch crossed the room and held his hand out for George’s empty glass. ‘But I believe she let us see what she wanted us to see. People don’t change that much, and the Ruby we saw tonight was the real Ruby.’ He poured a generous measure of whisky and handed it over. ‘If we
cast our minds back, we can practically put a date on the time she decided life was too dull and she let her true self come to the fore.’

  ‘Titch is right,’ Irene said, thinking back. ‘It was just after Lucy started school that she started to bleach her hair. Then gradually the make-up became thicker, as though she’d put it on with a trowel, and her nails were painted a bright red. I know Bob’s had rows with her over it, yer can hear them through the wall. But she takes no notice of him. She’s only interested in herself and couldn’t care less for him or Lucy.’

  ‘She doesn’t still hit the girl, does she?’ Aggie asked. ‘’Cos if I thought she’d laid a hand on her I wouldn’t be responsible for me actions.’

  Irene dropped her eyes for a brief second. Bob had suffered enough, she wasn’t going to add to his suffering. ‘Not as far as I know, Aggie.’

  ‘Let’s forget about Ruby for now, eh?’ Titch said. ‘She managed to spoil a couple of hours for us, but don’t let her spoil the whole night. Yer’ve all got full glasses, so drink up and be merry. And for God’s sake, will someone tell a joke to put a smile on our faces?’

  ‘I know,’ Aggie chuckled, ‘tell them about the parrot and Mrs Gibson.’

  ‘Oh, aye, that was dead funny, that was.’ Titch related the whole story and it brought not only smiles, but roars of laughter. ‘The funniest part, the one that tickled me most, was that Lucy’s friend believed me when I said Mrs Gibson had kept me talking all through me ten days’ leave. She said, all serious like, “That’s terrible, that is. Yer should have told her. I know I would have done.” And the poor girl had no idea why everyone went in a pleat.’

  They were still wiping their eyes when Bob came through the door Titch had left ajar for him. He was smiling, but they could see the strain on his face and in his eyes. ‘I’m glad you lot can still laugh. I thought me wife had blighted the night for yer. I can’t tell yer how sorry I am, but it’s me own fault. I should have known better than to bring her.’