Chosen Angels

by May Dawson

  Even if maybe I’d started it.

  This time when I fell from the Far, I didn’t scream.

  Chapter 33

  The second I fell back into my body, I fell back into agony.

  I heard myself keen, the sound pathetic, as I rolled onto my side, drawing my knees into my chest. The boys crowded around me, warm and comforting presences even through my panic.

  “Let me,” Dani said, her voice clear and sharp. I couldn’t see why, but I could hear the fear in her voice when she said, “Before you do anything else.”

  “Let her,” Ryker said, his voice gruff. “Dani’s not hurting her.”

  Dani rested her fingers again on my face, and I heard the soft murmur of her magic as cool moved across my eye socket, dancing across the emptiness there now.

  “I can’t heal the wound, but it’s clean,” Dani said. “And for a while, I can keep the pain at bay.”

  I finally drew a full breath, though there was a sob in it.

  And I opened my eye up to an audience.

  Ryker leaned over me, his deep green eyes worried. His shirt was stained with blood, but when my fingers touched the shredded fabric, they touched the solid muscle of his chest. Levi stood behind him, whole and perfect; I studied his strong neck above his broad shoulders, that wide jaw, until I believed he was really whole.

  “You’re alive,” I murmured.

  Jacob stood behind them, his arms crossed over his chest, staring down Calla and her men as they picked themselves off the floor. They stared around at each other, perplexed.

  “Well, Ellis, as you said,” Calla touched her throat. “The bitch wasn’t wrong. I said that I believed in you. And look at you, demon-killer.”

  Oh, so she had heard me call her a bitch. At least she didn’t seem to be particularly angry about it right now.

  “Not just any demon. Lucifer.” I pointed out.

  “Overconfident teenager problem,” she reminded me.

  Ryker grabbed my hands and hauled me to my feet. My head ached as soon as I stood, my field of vision narrowed, and I felt the smile fall away.

  Dani bolted for the stairs.

  One of the guards grabbed her, throwing an arm around her and pulling her off her feet against his massive chest. Calla held out her hand, murmuring in Latin, and Dani went limp.

  “The little Trojan horse took us by surprise earlier,” Calla said. “But she won’t get a second chance.”

  “I want something from you,” I said.

  Calla cocked her head to one side, an expression of patient endurance written across her face.

  “Dani thought we had killed her brother. I’m not excusing what she did, but really, I bet if you saw Tanner or Adrian or Luke murdered, you would—”

  “Not Luke.” Calla half-shrugged, casting a playful glance at one of the guys. There were faint smiles, and the room breathed with a slight release of tension.

  “I’m just asking for some mercy,” I said. “If you would… indulge me. Ma’am.”

  Her lips quirked up a little more widely. “That word burns in your mouth, doesn’t it?”

  “It does,” I said.

  Calla stared at Dani’s limp body. “I need some time to consider, but… as a favor to you… I will let her stay with you while I decide.”

  I would take what I could get. I wasn’t up for another fight right now.

  Besides, there was always time for a fight later. We kept finding fights.

  “Let me know if your demon survived,” Calla said, turning toward the stairs. Over her shoulder, she said, “The charges against him were dropped. We will try to ignore him… if he doesn’t draw our attention.”

  The guard holding Dani all but dropped her on the floor. They followed her up the stairs.

  I threw my arms around Ryker and Levi’s necks, hugging them close to me, even though I felt them pull back slightly before they gave in and let me hug them together. “I was so afraid I’d lost you.”

  “Never, sweet girl.” Levi kissed my hair, his bright blue eyes affectionate. He leaned his forehead against mine, and I pressed my face to his. I was so glad he was alive. I was never going to take their lives for granted.

  Ryker pulled me close, looked at me as if he had something he wanted to say, and then just kissed me.

  My lips parted against his. I still clung to Levi’s lean waist with one arm, but I wrapped my arm around Ryker’s broad shoulders, resting my hand on the back of his head, my fingers in his bristling-short hair.

  Jacob rested his big hand on my shoulder. “You made us all proud, Princess.”

  “You are something else,” Nimshi said from the doorway. He leaned in the door, his arms crossed over his chest, a mischievous look written across his handsome face. “You don’t listen, do you?”

  “I listen as well as the rest of you do,” I retorted.

  Nim held out his arms, and I bounded across the room. His leanly muscled arms closed around me, pulling me tight against him, and I breathed in his scent of smoke and spice.

  “What’s wrong with Dani?” Nimshi’s eyes widened. “Does the Council know we’re alive?”

  “The Council is going to try to ignore you,” Jacob said.

  Nimshi seemed to consider that. “I’ll take it.”

  “I asked for them to be merciful toward Dani,” I said. “I don’t know what the end result is going to be. But, you know, I am the Lilith… I’d think that people want to stay on my good side.”

  “I certainly do.” Nimshi’s palm rested gently against my cheek. “Thanks for the rescue.”

  “I had some help,” I said. “Some.”

  “I know.” Nim’s eyes flickered up to his brothers.

  But of course he didn’t say a damn thing to them, and they didn’t say anything to him. They exchanged manly nods, like they were strangers meeting for the first time over beers and a football game. Oh my god. Men are impossible.

  His brothers and I had come to Hell to drag him out, no matter what it cost us. They had tried to make up for not believing in their little brother in the first place. They all wanted to try to be a family. And no one was going to say a damn thing about it?

  Then Ryker reached out and clapped Nim on the shoulder. Nim looked up at him, surprise in his supernaturally bright green eyes, and then Ryker grabbed him, pulling him into a hug. “Welcome home, little brother.”

  Nim grabbed Ryker in a one-armed hug back. “Wow. That is going to take some getting used to.”

  “Tell me about it.” Ryker muttered.

  “Glad you made it.” Jacob nodded to Nim.

  “Oh come on, big guy.” Nim said. Jacob rolled his eyes, but hugged him.

  Levi, my nice guy, didn’t have to be prompted. He reached out and hugged Nim first, and Nim hugged him back.

  “Okay, okay,” Jacob said. “We’re here and alive, take a minute. Hug it out. Then let’s move on.”

  “Why are you like this?” I demanded, but I smiled up at Jacob.

  “British,” he said shortly. “Also, angels are assholes. Remember?”

  “I’m feeling pretty positive about angels right now, actually,” Levi said.

  Jacob shrugged. The hugging had pushed his limits enough; we were not going to talk about how Zuriel had saved us all.

  “I saw him,” I said out loud, and everyone stared at me like I was crazy yet again. Right. Nouns are important. “Zuriel. I think I saw Zuriel in the Far and when we were outside Turner’s—”

  “You think Zuriel is a guardian angel?” Jacob asked. “Our guardian angel?”

  “Ellis,” Ash said softly.

  She struggled to sit up on her elbows. Ryker was already dropping to his knees next to her to help her sit up, and she sagged in his arms.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. I knelt next to her too. She stared at me with confusion written across her face. I looked back over my shoulder at my guys. Whatever was wrong with Ash, we would find an answer.

  “What’s wrong is she’s been in a coma,” M
om said gently. She stood in the doorway, with Maria beside her. “I read all about this. Her muscles have atrophied, and it will take months of physical therapy for her to walk normally.”

  “But in the Far…” I trailed off. “Ash, what do you remember about the Far?”

  “Nothing,” she said. Her eyes were smudged dark, as if by exhaustion already, but she cocked her head at me. “Hug, Ellie?”

  When we were really little and we’d fight, Ash was always the first to lose her temper and the first to come and say, “Hug, Ellie?” in a small voice. Hearing those two words made me flash right back to fights over Barbies or splitting a bag of odd-numbered M&Ms. Those fights that always seemed so unimportant later.

  Just like the Far. Just like whatever had happened the night of prom. My sister would always be my sister. The details were unimportant.

  I’d been frozen right beside her like the socially awkward weirdo that I am, but now I leaned forward and pulled my sister into my arms in a tight hug. Even as joy surged through me, unable to believe that I had my sister back, I doubted that she really remembered nothing. It seemed so bizarre that my sister had been so powerful in the Far, strong and tattooed, and now I could feel how light her body was, her muscle withered to nothing over her bird-bones.

  I’d changed so much since she died, and I had a feeling she had to, but there was time enough to get to know each other again.

  “Ellis.” My mother’s eyes welled with tears, and she reached out to touch my face, as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing.

  I gasped suddenly, lifting my hand to my eye. In the moment, I’d almost forgotten. I’d been so overcome with gratitude to see my boys alive, and I’d been so worried about making sure Nim and Dani—for Nim’s sake—were protected from the Council, and then I’d been afraid for my sister. But my face was still sticky with blood, and my ruined eye was an empty well. How the hell had my boys kissed me while I was like this?

  I turned and ran from the room.

  “Ellis, stop!” The guys called behind me. Their voices were full of urgency and concern.

  But I ran upstairs. I took refuge in Jacob’s room, locking the door behind me. My heart was pounding as I turned to the center of the room. It was a familiar blur around me: the quilt-covered bed, the view of the pines, the bookcases that wrapped around the room.

  When I had wanted to be alone before, Ryker and Levi had always respected my need for space. But Jacob was always the one who came after me. The man who hated to talk about feelings made an exception when I needed him.

  I wondered if he would still come now.

  I walked into the bathroom, but once I was in the cool white room, I couldn’t quite bear to look into the mirror. I sank to sit cross-legged, resting my head against the white chalk-painted cabinet behind me.

  I wanted to cry. I knew that I should be grateful that almost everything I’d ever lost had been restored, and yet, here I was. I felt sick about having lost something I could never have back.

  But tears wouldn’t come. I pressed my finger to the tear duct on my good eye, the one that should have worked just fine, and I wondered if this was a part of how I’d changed with the boys and with the Far. I used to be such a crier. And I didn’t mind being a crier; tears brought such a release of emotion. Instead, I felt so much so strongly right now that it seemed to take up all the space in my chest, like I could barely draw a breath.

  Slowly, I drew my feet underneath me and stood, my back to the mirror. I gritted my teeth and turned to face the mirror.

  My face was almost unrecognizable, a blur through the shine in the mirror. I stared, perplexed, and the frown lines between my eyebrows were familiar enough. I turned my head to one side, trying to look through my good eye only, turning into profile. As soon as my damaged eye was hidden, I could see my face clearly in the mirror. Blood was smeared across my cheek, hiding my faint freckles. But except for the blood, I looked the same as I always had, with my pointed nose and round cheeks. I yanked Jacob’s towel off the rack and wet it in the sink, my hands trembling, and wiped the blood away. I squeezed my eyes shut and washed my face carefully, blindly, without looking at myself.

  Then I lowered the towel, taking myself in.

  My shattered eye was not an empty well. Golden light shone out from my eye, the blazing light of one of the angels. I met my gaze in the mirror for just a second before the glow was too much, hurting my good eye, and my gaze fell to the countertop.

  Well. That was something else.

  Zuriel said I was changed, not broken.

  I had so many questions.

  And I still felt pretty damn broken.

  There was a quick knock on the door. “Locking me out of my own room, Princess?”

  My mood lightened just a little when I heard that British drawl. “You can come in.”

  “Do I have to break the door down?” No matter what he said, there was relief in Jacob’s voice.

  Shaking my head, I crossed to the door, yanking it open.

  “I knew you’d come,” I said before I even opened it all the way.

  Jacob leaned with his broad shoulder against the doorway, his tattooed arms with his usual leather cuff and silver watch crossed over his chest. Behind him, Levi stood with his hands in his pockets, the pose emphasizing the way his t-shirt clung to his powerful pecs and fell away over his narrow waist. Ryker’s deep green eyes gave away his worry as he looked over Jacob’s shoulder, even though his handsome face with his dark-blond scruff across his big jaw and chiseled cheekbones was as cool as ever. And Nimshi stood beside Ryker, with the same deep green eyes, supernaturally bright, as he raked his hand through his wild black curls.

  “Always, pretty girl,” Levi said.

  I took a step back, pressing my palm over my shattered eye.

  Jacob stepped in to me. “Give me a minute,” he said to the others, kicking the door shut between us and them as he entered the room.

  There was a rumble of protest, but he was already speaking the Latin to lock them out.

  “I can barely look at myself,” I muttered, turning and heading for the bathroom.

  But I was stopped by a strong arm looped around my waist, reeling me back into him, pulling me against his hard-muscled body. I breathed in his scent of coffee and cinnamon.

  “Then let me look for you,” he said.

  I twisted in his arms, but I looked down, avoiding his gaze.

  His thumb under my chin tilted my face up toward his. “Really, Ellis? You’ve never minded my scars.”

  “Your scars aren’t on your face.”

  “No, they run a lot deeper than that,” he said softly.

  “I just need time to get used to it.” I didn’t know if that was a lie or not. It was what I wanted to be true. I hoped eventually it would hurt so much to be so changed.

  Jacob nodded. His eyes were the same bright gold as the light that shone out uncontrollably from my shattered eye, but his eyes were beautiful. There was something so obviously wrong with me. Something supernatural, but wrong.

  He touched the corner of my eye, the gesture fond and tender, and I thought he was going to stay something that would make me cry. I was already shaking my head as his lips parted, afraid of what he would say, afraid of coming completely undone when I should have been happy. A better person would just have been happy by all the lives restored in this house today.

  “You’re going to look so sexy with an eye patch,” he said. “Like the sexiest pirate. I’ve always had kind of a thing for pirates.”

  I laughed, the uncontrolled kind of laugh that turns into a snort, in sheer surprise. And then I slapped my hand over my mouth.

  “Well,” he cocked his head to one side. “To be specific, I guess I’ve always had a thing for the idea of taming a naughty pirate.”

  “That is the weirdest thing you’ve said yet, you kinky bastard.”

  His lips parted in a smile. “Takes one to know one.”

  “I wouldn’t just be any
naughty pirate,” I said, wrapping my hands around his shoulders, feeling their thickness against my palms. “I’d be your pirate queen.”

  “Well, that goes without saying,” he said, and then his lips met mine.

  Chapter 34

  That night, the lights strung in the trees behind the house twinkled, and music played from the speakers on the deck. The boys were still getting food ready in the kitchen—arguing playfully with my mom—as I leaned against the deck railing. In the distance, I could hear the doorbell ring, and then the sound of the McKennas greeting my boys. They’d stopped by to check on us earlier, to say they were thankful we’d survived. They’d even shaken Nimshi’s hand, although none of them seemed quite comfortable. Nimshi had seemed to enjoy that immensely. He’d given them the longest, most inappropriate handshakes I’d ever seen.

  It takes time to fix Hunters, I guess. But the McKennas were trying.

  It had been Nimshi who had surprised us all by inviting the McKennas over. He’d said it so casually, and then ignored the way we all froze in shock. Nash had said, “Yeah, yeah, I think we’d like that. Thanks.”

  When I had asked Nim why he’d invited them over, he just shrugged, his gaze on mine full of mischief. “I don’t know. Thought it might annoy Jacob.”

  “You really do fit in around here,” I had said, mock-serious, shaking my head at him.

  The glass doors slid open behind me. The footsteps behind me were light and quick. He was quiet even when he wasn’t trying to be sly.

  “Hi, Nim,” I said.

  “Ryker thought we should take a walk. You can show me around.” His voice was low, near my ear. He leaned on the railing beside me, his shoulder brushing mine.

  “Taking Ryker’s advice? That’s dangerous territory.”

  “What? You’re saying my big brother isn’t perfect?” He leaned in slightly, bumping me with his shoulder. “I thought you said we didn’t get along because we were so alike.”

  “There was a thought that scandalized both of you.” I said.

  “Oh, yes. But Ryker’s growing on me, now that he doesn’t want to kill me.”