Jammed

by Deany Ray

  But damn. What a night. Both in my dream and in the real world, too, where Snow got led away in handcuffs while we watched, still stunned, our mouths filled with chocolate peanuts.

  Slowly, very slowly, I headed to the kitchen. On the way, I passed my brother who’d settled onto the couch. You know that you’re exhausted if Brad beats you out of bed.

  “You made the TV news,” he called. “And you made the paper.”

  I put my hand up to my head. Ouch. “Can you turn the volume down?” Hmm. I turned back towards him. “How did I look on TV?”

  He grinned. “They say you walloped Patrick Snow like nobody’s business. Walloped the dude with a lamp. That’s pretty badass, sis.”

  I hadn’t seen Brad so lively in…what? Ten years? Maybe fifteen? I gave him a high five.

  I could hear my mom outside saying goodbye to her class. “I’ll see you all on Thursday. Now one more time: Breathe in. Breathe out. Remember: you’re amazing.” And if you ever get chased into a dark room by angry dudes with guns, think of ocean breezes. Hey! It kind of works.

  Then she burst into the kitchen. “Charlie! Love!” My head. Why was everyone so loud?

  She studied me with curiosity. “The students said they heard about you on TV. Something about you running into Hudson’s and attacking the chief of police? You attacked him with a postage stamp? Because he was eating jam?” When reported by her students, who were all half deaf, any story sounded like a humorous tale.

  “It was a lamp and not a stamp. And he wasn’t eating jam. He was dumping out the jam so that he could…well, it’s a real long story. I need some aspirin first.” I rummaged in a drawer.

  “I told the students, no way. It couldn’t possibly be true. I told them that my Charlie was afraid to sleep without a nightlight till she was seventeen years old. And that young people today don’t know the first thing about a postage stamp. Because they have all this email.” She waved her hands wildly in the air. “They have all this tweeting, twitter stuff.”

  I gave her a small and hopeful smile. “Mommy, I need cookies.”

  “Oh, hon, you know I’m always baking when my girl’s at home.” She pulled out two plastic boxes and set them on the table. “You sit. According to the TV news, you’ve had a long night. Your mom will fix the coffee.”

  “Thanks.” I washed down the aspirin with some water.

  I ate the cookies straight out of the boxes. Peanut butter, oatmeal, and my favorite, chewy chocolate chip. “Thaa you, thaa you, thaa you,” I said to her, my mouth full of crumbly sweetness.

  She brought two cups of coffee to the table. “Okay, spill,” she said. “Details, details, details.” She studied me carefully. “Your aura’s looking better. It’s looking good. But rather odd.”

  That made sense, I guess.

  So I told her everything, starting with the reason I’d really come to town. “Well, this wasn’t just a visit. You see, it was my boss who sent me here. To do some undercover work. Because there was this case…”

  “My word. Undercover! But what kind of case? Crime in lovely Springston?”

  “Some parts are lovelier than others.”

  “I hope it wasn’t robberies. I’ve always felt so safe.”

  “No, Mom. It was cocaine.”

  “Cocaine? But Chief Snow has always said that kind of crime doesn’t happen here. Big-City Living, Small-Town Safety. That was Chief Snow’s motto when he ran for office.” She smiled. “I thought that was very clever.”

  I did have to hand it to him. His plan had been pretty clever, just not as clever as he thought.

  “But Chief Snow was the problem.” I picked up a cookie. “He was leading the whole thing!”

  “He was leading your investigation?” She beamed. “You were working with the chief? Your dad and I have always been so proud.”

  “He was leading the bad guys, Mom. He was leading the guys who were distributing cocaine.”

  For once, my mom was speechless. “Oh, what troubling news you’ve brought into the kitchen. This room needs a cleanse. Sage. I need some sage.” She disappeared and ran back in with a tiny burning pot that smelled really good. She placed it on the counter. “There.” She gave me a small smile. “Don’t you feel better now?”

  I did. Because I’d lined up three cookies on a napkin: one oatmeal and two chocolate chips.

  I caught her up on what had been really going on during the time I’d spent in Springston. I ended with the events of the night before. After we’d run out of the factory, Alex had sprinted in and shot Snow in the hip. He’d held the chief and Elkins at gunpoint until backup could arrive.

  Before that, he’d shot Mickey who’d come out to investigate when Alex made some noise arriving on the scene. He shot Mickey in the foot, and the little guy passed out, more from fright than pain.

  But Alex hadn’t been on the trail of a major cocaine bust. Oh, no. He was on the trail of one Charlie Cooper.

  As he explained to me after everything had gone down, “The chief gave me firm orders to watch your every single move. He acted all offended about the way that you girls were messing with the case. He said you might cause trouble. And I guess you did. Trouble for him, that is. Handcuff kind of trouble.”

  Alex laughed, and I did too. It was a little funny. By sending Alex to track my movements, the chief had written himself a ticket to getting unmasked as the leader of the distribution scheme. If Alex hadn’t come along, they might have disposed of the evidence before we could tell our story and get someone out to check. And who knows whether the girls and I would have even made it safely out of the parking lot. My friends and I had solved the case. But Alex might have saved my life.

  “Sorry I called you a whack-a-mole,” I said a little sheepishly. “I was really glad to see you. Thank goodness you were here.”

  “Well, I guess my following days are over. So don’t be falling down any graves. I can’t rush in to save you now.” He winked.

  I fantasized about the things I wished that wink could mean. “I never thought I’d say this. But thank you, Alex. Thank you! For coming when you did.”

  He kissed me gently on the forehead. “I never thought I’d say this. It was an honor, Charlie Cooper.” Then he looked at me and grinned. “You’re a smart one.”

  “Don’t act so surprised.” I paused. “Did you have any clue about what your chief was up to?”

  He brushed his soft hair from his forehead. Then he looked down at the ground “Man! Biggest shocker ever.”

  “So, what happens now? Do you think we’ll get in trouble? Me and Celeste and Marge?” The cops who’d questioned us had said we might be hearing back from them. About interference with an investigation. Interference, my big toe. More like solved the case.

  “A thank you would have been nice,” Celeste had muttered when they left.

  But Alex assured me we’d be fine. “Those guys were just embarrassed. That it took a rookie cop, ahem, a secretary from out of town to see what was right underneath their noses. Our noses, I should say.” He frowned. “Plus, they were a little rattled. It’s not every day you have to handcuff your boss.”

  I laughed. “Talk about a little awkward. Good news, sir. We solved the case. But there’s bad news too…”

  ***

  After catching my mother up on the news, I finished my cookie breakfast. Or maybe it was brunch. Invented in 1895 as a cure for something, I’m sure. Which was the perfect excuse that day to fill up on little wafers of sugary delight.

  Then I headed to the diner to see how my friends were doing. Anyone else, of course, would have taken the day off. But I imagined I’d find them balancing trays and filling up coffee mugs.

  As I pulled into a parking spot, I heard my cell phone buzz. I glanced down at the name. Crap. It was the captain. I imagined that he’d heard. Would he be pleased or proud or pissed off or would he be all three? After all that happened, I might be promoted! Or I might be fired. Best to pick up and find out.

  “Good
morning, sir. Or, um…hello! Good afternoon!” Always cheerful, always awkward.

  “Cooper. I heard about what happened.”

  “Yes, sir. I imagine you did,” I said.

  “I distinctly gave you orders to come on back to Boston before you got hurt or worse.”

  I cleared my throat. “I know. I’m so sorry, sir.”

  “I have to tell you, Cooper, I’m extremely disappointed,” he said.

  My heart sank. I had been kind of hoping to be treated like a hero. After all, I’d solved a case that had stumped a lot of veteran cops. “I’m really sorry, sir,” I said. “But I had to stay. I just couldn’t leave it all behind.”

  There was a pause. “I’m glad that you’re all right,” the captain finally said. “And I’m kind of proud of what you did, although it was way too dangerous.”

  “You are?”

  “Your first case, Cooper. Your very first one, and you knocked it out of the park.” He chuckled. “And you’re a brave one, too. It took a lot of guts to go sneaking into that factory at night. And then to hold the chief down with a lamp! Well, I wish I’d been there to see it.”

  “Glad to get the job done, sir.”

  “Just terrific, Cooper. Stupid. But terrific.”

  “Thank you? Sir. I guess?” Was that a compliment?

  “I didn’t know if you were suited for this kind of thing,” he continued. “But with your connections there in Springston, it was worth a go. And turns out you’re a natural. Cooper, I gotta tell you: you’d make a damn good cop.”

  “Thank you, sir.” A damn good cop. I’d like to be just that.

  “I promised you a raise. And you damn well earned it. But I think a promotion might be in order too. Come on back to Boston. And, hey, why don’t you bring that lamp along? We’ve got some felons here in Boston who could stand to have their heads knocked in.” He burst into laughter.

  “You’re such a jokester, sir. Yes, I’m on my way. I’m just stopping now to see some friends. To say goodbye, I guess. Then I need to pack some things, and I’ll head back to the city.” Who would have ever thought it? It made me really sad, the thought of leaving Springston. I’d miss the Apricot Festival that Marge loved. I’d miss so many things.

  “Oh, take a couple of days to rest. Goodness knows you’ve earned it.”

  “Yes, sir. It was all too crazy.”

  “Now, Graywell was a good cop. Poor Graywell, bless his soul. But he couldn’t figure this one out. And you did. Welcome to the team. You have a future here.”

  A future. Just like I always wanted. Then why did it feel so wrong?

  ***

  Marge ran up to hug me as soon as I walked into the door. Oddly, she looked like she’d just had the best sleep of her life.

  “I can’t believe you’re working,” I said. “Aren’t you exhausted from last night?”

  “Oh no, hon. Not at all! I’m too excited to be tired. I couldn’t wait to get here, find out what people think.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “They talked about us on TV. We’re celebrities!” She blushed and then erupted into a fit of giggles.

  I looked around at the lunch crowd. Every single eye was on me and Marge. People smiled and whispered.

  “Yes, my brother said he saw us on the news. How did they get our pictures?”

  “Oh, they just said our names. Which was good, I guess.” She fluffed up her hair and frowned. “I didn’t look my best. I didn’t think to dress for the TV cameras.”

  Me either. But at least I’d changed out of my pajamas.

  Marge led me to a table. “Here. Sit. I know that you want coffee and a little something sweet. Tell me. How are you feeling, hon?”

  “Oh, a little sore from the bumps and bruises. I got a headache from the daiquiris. And, then, I don’t know…I feel a little lost, somehow. I’m heading back to Boston. And that makes me kind of sad.”

  Her face fell, but she recovered. “Well, pooh. I was hoping we have a little more time to celebrate.” She shook her ample backside as she reached for the coffee pot at a nearby stand. “I was hoping there’d be more time for us to be party girls.”

  Celeste appeared and bumped her hip against Marge’s in a kind of lively dance. “We do know how to party.”

  I smiled. “How are you, Celeste? After our crazy night?”

  “Never better. I didn’t even break a nail. I’ve lived through a lot of stuff. Last night wasn’t anything.” She put a slice of chocolate pound cake in front of me. “See? Now you’re a regular. You don’t even have to order. You walk in, and we know already exactly what you want: coffee, some kind of chocolate, a booth by the window if we have one.

  “Yeah. It kind of feels like home.” Which Springston never had before.

  “How’s the cake?” Celeste asked as she watched me take a bite.

  “Great. You knew just what I wanted.”

  Her eyes moved toward the front door. “And speaking of what you want…”

  I turned to see Alex stride into the diner.

  “Who? Him?” My face turned red. “Celeste, are you nuts?”

  Marge looked at Celeste. Celeste looked at Marge. Both of them giggled, but quietly so he wouldn’t hear.

  He sat down across from me with a smile that made me melt despite my best intentions not to fall for jerks. “Well, it’s our famous detective.”

  “I thought you were finished with following me around.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself, Cooper. I had no idea I’d find you here. I was on the hunt for Springston’s best cheeseburger and not a damsel in distress.” Then there it was again, that smile. “You were just a bonus. Mind if I sit down?”

  “Well, I hope that I don’t mind. Because you’ve already made yourself at home.”

  “Hey, listen, I have news.”

  “Okay…”

  Marge came over with a menu, trying to appear as if she wasn’t listening.

  “You can cut the act, Marge,” he said. “I know that you’re eavesdropping. And this concerns you too. So go ahead and listen.” He leaned back in his chair. “Okay, here’s the thing. I’ve just been at the station. And the word’s official. They won’t be pressing charges against the three of you.”

  “Well, isn’t that the kindest thing?” Celeste appeared beside the table with a coffee pot. “We hand them a solved case like a wrapped-up gift, and they don’t press charges. The special today is Salisbury steak. And we have okra and lima beans.”

  “Cheeseburger with some fries.” He winked at me across the table. “Although the food has really gone downhill since you lost that magic fry cook.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Oh, that guy? He was trouble.”

  He pretended to take offense. “I heard he was harassed. That some crazy waitress chased him with a broom.”

  “Perhaps he had it coming.”

  “And I heard that she has other tricks. If there’s not a broom around, she knows how to use a lamp.”

  Celeste took the menu from his hand. “Well, aren’t you the comedian? I’ll get that order in. Would you like some coffee?”

  “Yes. And please leave room for cream.”

  I noticed how well filled out his chest was in his tight button down. That made me think of last night’s dream and I couldn’t help but blush. It didn’t help that he was wearing blue. Blue just like his eyes. And that kind of made me melt.

  After my friends had left, he playfully kicked my ankle. “So, what’s on your schedule now? Kicking ass and taking names on another case? Heading back to Boston?”

  “I guess I’ll leave tomorrow. I just talked to the boss.”

  “Well, don’t be a stranger. And stay out of trouble. Trying to keep you safe was a pretty big headache.”

  I reached into my purse and pulled out a bottle of aspirin. “Here you go. I’ll share.” The ache in my own head had subsided to a dull throb every now and then.

  “So,” I asked. “What else have you guys figured out? Do you know how long this drug thing had been g
oing on?”

  He slowly sipped his coffee. “We’re looking into that. We think it started slowly, but it’s nothing new.”

  “Did the Hudson’s know?”

  “Nah. They both are real upset, especially Mrs. Hudson. The jams had started out as her little hobby. The first ones that they made were from her grandma’s recipes.”

  “Mmm. That had to sting.” I took a bite of cake.

  “They did it after hours, making sure that they moved evidence before the morning shift came in.”

  I thought about the jars I’d seen, half of them filled with jam, half filled with cocaine. “Well, they missed a box,” I said.

  “Well, they weren’t expecting company at the time that you showed up. Most likely they planned to come in after midnight and move some stuff around. They had the perfect setup. If someone called the cops, reported suspicious goings on at Hudson’s, then Snow would hear the call, and he could divert the cops. Or tell them that he’d go himself, that he would check it out.”

  “So there’s no way any cops would have come to rescue us, even if someone had heard me scream.”

  “Right. Except, lucky for pretty you, I was on your tail.”

  “Guess I was lucky.”

  “Life’s funny like that sometimes,” he said.

  “How many people do you think you might end up arresting?”

  He reached over to take a bite of my cake. “Payment,” he said, “for saving your ass about a million times.”

  Celeste arrived and winked at me. She set a plate in front of Alex.

  I reached for a French fry. “Payment,” I said, “for solving the big case that had every Springston cop completely mystified.”

  “Okay, you made your point. Ketchup with your fries?” He slid a ketchup bottle toward me. “Okay, to answer your question, we’ve taken six guys into custody. And there might be more.”

  “Some of those factory workers had to have a clue – the ones who worked the jam.”

  “Some of them were in on it. Let’s just say that there will be some jobs open for those who’d like to work with jam. Because some of those employees are sitting in our jail.”