Given to You

by Carlie Sexton

  Chapter 1

  “Roger…” Kate exhaled. Her heart jumped into her throat as she saw him standing before her. He grabbed onto her arm roughly with one hand and pointed a syringe at her neck with the other.

  “If you scream or make a scene, I’ll knock you out,” he said, showing Kate the syringe. “I don’t want to have to do that. All you have to do is cooperate and everything will be fine.”

  Kate didn’t say anything at first. She felt like her brain was malfunctioning and she couldn’t form the syllables necessary to make words. Her entire body was in shutdown mode. Her brain was telling her body to run as fast as she could, but her muscles weren’t cooperating. This whole time she had been lulled into feeling safe, because she had security guards with her at every moment of the day. The reality was that Roger was more cunning than Neil or the guards had anticipated. He was an obsessed killer and his mind worked in ways the average person couldn’t fathom. And he has me.

  She felt her breathing hitch. She was overwhelmed by fear as Roger held her tight and the needle, that dripped with something she didn’t want in her body, drew closer.

  Kate glanced around the parking lot, but there was no one around to help her. Roger had found her and there was nothing she could do about it. “I’ll do whatever you want. Please don’t hurt me,” Kate said, her voice trembling. “What have you done with Porter?”

  “Let’s just say that he’s sleeping in his car,” Roger said with a smirk.

  “He’s still alive? Please tell me he is okay,” Kate said. “I don’t want anyone else to be hurt. Please.”

  “What do you mean anyone else to be hurt? What do you think I am Kate? A monster? Is that why you moved away from me? The police told you lies about me and you believed them? Son of a bitch.”

  “No…no…I don’t think you’re a monster. I meant anyone else besides Porter. He’s…he’s become…my friend. I know you’re a good guy and you…you have always…been kind to me,” Kate choked out, thinking she was going to hurl right there on the spot. The flaming rage in Roger’s eyes terrified her.

  Her worst fears were being realized in that moment, but she had to know if Porter was going to be all right.

  “He’s alive for now, unless you don’t do what I say.”

  The last thing Kate wanted was for Porter to be killed because of her. It was bad enough that Mark had been slaughtered because of Roger’s obsession with her. Her mind began racing as she tried to determine the best course of action. There wasn’t a section of her brain devoted to escaping the clutches of an obsessed serial killer. She took in several deep breaths, hoping that would somehow make her thoughts more lucid. She realized that her best chance of survival was to make Roger think she cared about him. He seemed to have lost touch with reality. Or maybe he was a good actor and this had been the real him the whole time.

  “Okay, Roger, I’ll do what you ask,” she said, trying to steady her voice. “Please don’t drug me.”

  Kate’s heart was pounding in her chest, and she hoped Roger couldn’t hear it. Terror gripped her body and she felt it choking her. How am I going to survive? Will I ever see Neil again? The one thing she knew was that she had to appear normal. Being strong in this situation was vital to her survival. Roger seemed to calm down now that she was acquiescing to him and her fear wasn’t so evident.

  “That’s a good girl,” Roger replied, leading her to his car.

  As they approached his car, it became clear that she could end up being his victim, following Rose, Mark, and God knows who else. She was grateful that he had taken her when she wasn’t with Neil. There was no doubt in her mind that he would kill Neil if given the chance and losing Neil was something she couldn’t comprehend. She couldn’t endure that kind of loss again-- would gladly give up her own life to spare his--because her love for him had become fierce. She felt like a lioness protecting her cub.

  Roger opened the car door and motioned for her to sit in the passenger seat. Her first instinct was to put up the fight of her life, but he still had the syringe. She knew he was strong enough to overpower her without the drugs, and despite not knowing what they would do to her, she knew she didn’t want to find out. Being conscious was the only way to ensure that Roger wouldn’t kill Porter, and then find Neil and kill him too.

  So, she complied without resisting. Roger took a zip tie from his pocket and put it around the door handle and tightly bound her right wrist to the door. She felt the hard plastic tie cut into her skin, causing pain to radiate up her arm. There was no possibility of escaping now.

  Roger had thought of everything, anticipating what she might do before she could even think of it herself. He knew what he was doing. She couldn’t jump out of the car to escape him.

  Kate glanced into the backseat and saw little Jacob sleeping. At least she hoped he was sleeping. Was Roger so far gone that he would kill his own son? Who knew what he was capable of doing? He had killed his own baby when he murdered Rose. She listened carefully and watched Jacob’s chest while Roger went around the car and got in on the driver’s side. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Jacob’s small chest rising and falling with each breath. At least Roger hadn’t done another unthinkable act. How was he going to explain to his child who she was and what she was doing with them? Jacob was sure to ask questions. And where was Paulina right now? Kate put her free hand to her mouth in horror, at the realization that Paulina was most likely dead. She felt chills race all the way up her body at the thought that he had killed Paulina too. Oh God, she thought she was going to be sick. There was no way Paulina would let Roger take her child willingly.

  Kate had placed her purse between her legs and the seat, trying to obscure it from view. She tried to stop the shaking that was threatening to overtake her. How am I expected to behave? Having her cell phone was a necessity if she was going to get out of this alive. She needed Roger to concentrate on her. The only problem was that her phone was on and if someone called, he would hear it. She could imagine him throwing it out the window as they sped along the highway, tossing out her only lifeline to the outside world.

  Roger looked over at her as if he had read her mind, and said, “I need your cell phone. I’m sure that your boyfriend knows how to track us with it, so hand it over. I don’t want any unexpected guests showing up at the cabin and ruining our good time.”

  Kate’s heart sank into the depths of her stomach. She reached down and took it out of her purse and gave it to Roger. He got out of the car, placing it on the ground behind the front tire. Then he started the car and backed up over it, smashing it and with it, the last vestige of Kate’s hope. Oh Neil…I’m so sorry.

  She wanted to keep things light and upbeat, not knowing what Roger intended to do to her now that he had abducted her. She could only assume that he still wanted to be with her and she needed to keep him happy to survive. She looked over at him as he pulled out of the parking lot.

  “Roger, why did you feel you had to threaten me with a syringe? You’ve tied me to the door. This doesn’t make sense. You’re my friend.”

  “Kate, I’ve been very angry since you left me. I came to you and poured my heart out, telling you my feelings. And what did you do? You disappeared and cheated on me with Statton. This is the way it’s going to be for now. My way, not your way,” Roger practically shouted.

  Her questions made him more agitated, so she decided to try another tactic. Reaching over and placing her hand on his thigh, she said in a soft voice, “You’re right. I was thoughtless and I hurt you. For that I am very sorry. Do you think you could find it in your heart to forgive me?”

  Even though Roger was looking forward, she could see him visibly relax and some of the tension between them dissipated. He seemed to be mulling over what she ha
d just said.

  “In time, I’ll be able to forgive you Kate.”

  Maybe talking about Jacob would lighten the mood a little more. “Is that adorable boy in the backseat, Jacob?” she asked.

  “Yes, it is,” Roger said, concentrating on driving.

  “He looks like a little angel sleeping there,” Kate said, knowing that Jacob was Roger’s pride and joy.

  Jacob began to stir in the backseat. He started to sit up. “Dad, where are we?” he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

  “We’re in the car, Jacob.”

  “Where are we going?” he asked, looking out the window. Kate wanted the answer to this question too, but was too terrified to ask. Hopefully, Jacob would continue to ask the questions that were running through her head.

  “We’re going to Big Bear, to the cabin.”

  “Yay!” Jacob shouted. “Is Mom coming too? We always have so much fun at the cabin.”

  “No, Jacob. Mom can’t come with us right now. She went on vacation.”

  “Who’s she?” Jacob asked, pointing to Kate.

  “This is my girlfriend, Kate,” Roger answered. He worried that Jacob might mention Rose as his girlfriend, so he quickly added, “Kate, I’d like you to meet my son, Jacob.”

  “Nice to meet you, Jacob,” Kate murmured. She wanted to roll down the window and hurl after hearing Roger introduce her as his girlfriend. Not friend, but girlfriend. His expectations were now obvious. Roger’s obsession had totally obscured reality; he would expect her to do as he wished. Her thoughts turned to Neil’s handsome face. A face she was now certain she would never gaze upon again.

  “Nice to meet you too, Miss Kate,” Jacob responded.

  Kate smiled at the boy. “You are a very polite young man. It’s nice to meet you too,” she said, then turned back around.

  “Thank you. My Mom always teaches me to be polite. Dad, when is Mom coming back from vacation and why didn’t she say goodbye to me?”

  “She had to leave suddenly. Your grandma is sick, so your mom flew back to Germany to take care of her. She may not be coming back for a long time. She had to leave during the night when you were sleeping. That’s why she couldn’t say goodbye.”

  “Oh,” Jacob said. “Is grandma going to be okay?”

  “I think so. Your mom was just worried about her, so she decided to go see her. She wants Kate to take care of you. She told me to tell you that she loves you very much and for you to be a good boy.”

  Roger’s explanation seemed to satisfy Jacob and he stopped asking questions. The pit in Kate’s stomach grew and her throat was burning from the rising bile. It was like someone had made her swallow hot coals. She knew Paulina hadn’t gone back to Germany without saying goodbye to her son. Roger had said Paulina was a good mother. She would have taken the time to explain to him that she had to go take care of her mother if that was the truth. Something had gone wrong and he had “taken care of” Paulina in his own special way.

  He didn’t seem capable of breaking up with women like a normal person; he murdered them instead. If she hadn’t have been already shaking, she definitely would have started then. What does this mean for me? Neil?

  Kate wasn’t sure if Neil would have considered her late at that point. She wondered how often he checked in with Porter? She just hoped that he would eventually check the GPS on her phone and realize that he couldn’t find her. It was just after three o’clock and she figured Neil expected her between five and seven p.m. At that moment, Neil didn’t know anything was wrong, and it might take hours before he had any idea, and even when he did figure it out, he wouldn’t know she was going to Big Bear. How would he find her? With each passing minute, Kate thought that Neil finding her seemed as unlikely as her climbing Mt. Everest in a bikini, without gear, in the middle of winter. Beads of sweat formed on her brow. She wiped them away with her hand and dried her hand on her jeans.

  “Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom. Can we stop please?” Jacob asked.

  “Yeah, I’ll find a gas station.”

  After he had taken the next exit, he found two options and chose the one with fewer cars and less opportunity for Kate to find help.

  “Kate, do you need to use the restroom as well?” he asked with a stern look on his face.

  “Why don’t you take Jacob?” she suggested. “When you come back, I can go.”

  “Okay, you just sit tight.”

  Roger and Jacob got out of the car and headed toward the outdoor bathrooms. Once Roger was out of sight, Kate began looking around to see if anyone could help. She was locked in the car and the windows were up. She tried to open the door, but Roger had some sort of child-safety feature that made it impossible to open the locked door.

  She saw an elderly couple, but they were too preoccupied with trying to operate the gas pump. They seemed a little of out sorts and she couldn’t get their attention. She motioned to the guy coming out of the convenience store, but he was glued to his cell phone and totally oblivious to his surroundings. How she wanted to get her hands on his phone.

  Roger peered out at Kate from the bathrooms and saw that she was trying to get the attention of other people and attempting to open the door. He walked briskly toward her. When she saw him approaching, with gritted teeth and flaring nostrils, she knew that he was angry with her.

  He unlocked the door and opened it, causing her to fall out onto the concrete onto her hip. It hurt terribly, but she didn’t say anything about it, her pain and fear paralyzed her, rendering her mute. Her shoulder felt as though it had been ripped out of its socket. Her eyes filled with tears as the searing pain shot down her leg, and up into her neck and shoulder.

  Roger picked her up and cradled her in his arms, hiding her bound wrist from view. “Don’t even think about trying to leave me or get anyone’s attention,” he said menacingly. “I’ll find you, and once I have you secure, I’ll go to your boyfriend’s La Jolla penthouse and kill him. You’re mine, not his. Do I have to kill him to make that so?”

  “N…No…no you don’t. I’m sorry. I was feeling claustrophobic and needed to get out of the car. Please take it out on me, no one else. I won’t try to leave, I promise.”

  Roger looked at her intensely, the latent desire was clear in his eyes, which slowly drifted from her eyes to her mouth. He began kissing her face and found her mouth. He forced his tongue into her mouth and stroked her tongue with his while his hand slid up her thigh. She kissed him back, believing that was the only way to protect Neil and keep herself alive.

  He tugged on her lower lip and then pulled away. “I don’t want to take anything out on you,” he said. “We’re finally together. I want to love you and have you love me in return. I’ve been dreaming about this for a long time. You’re mine now. All mine and no one else can have you. Do you understand?”

  Kate’s eyes were wide with fear. She could feel Roger’s erection under her bottom, his rough hands on her body. She didn’t know how to respond, but fortunately Jacob walked up interrupting them.

  “Miss Kate, did you fall down?”

  “Yes, I did, honey. Your dad was just helping me up.”

  “Jacob, I want you to stay in the car while I walk Kate to the ladies room. Can you do that for me, buddy?”

  “Yes, Daddy,” Jacob said, opening the back door.

  Roger removed a small knife from his pocket and cut the zip tie securing Kate to the car door. Kate rubbed her wrist as Roger led her to the restrooms squeezing her arm so tightly that she wanted to scream in pain, but didn’t. Between the throbbing in her hip and shoulder, she was surprised that she could walk at all. She knew for certain now, that he was capable of killing anyone who got in the way of what he wanted, so she kept her eyes downcast. Seeking help from bystanders would most likely just get them hurt or worse and she didn’t want any more dead bodies on her conscience.

  “You didn’t answer me before,” Roger said, anger burning in his eyes. “Do you understand that you belong to me now? We are going
to be together forever and no one and nothing is going to take you away from me.”

  “Yes, Roger. I understand,” Kate said, her voice trembling as tears streamed down her face.

  His eyes softened. “I don’t want to scare you. I know that we can be happy if you just give us a chance. Will you do that for me?”

  Kate nodded.

  “Good girl,” he said, kissing her on the cheek.

  Kate walked into the restroom while her captor waited outside. She took a minute to assess herself. The pain in her hip was dissipating but she figured she would have a nasty bruise. That was the least of her worries. She took some toilet paper and wiped away the mascara that had smeared under her eyes.

  Neil had done so much to make her day special; with breakfast, shopping for an exquisite gown, the pamper session at the salon…and now…now…this maniac. She gulped back a sob.

  Suddenly, reality hit her hard and she shuddered at the thought of what Roger was going to expect from her. Things that she didn’t want to do with him. He had already kissed her forcefully and she thought she was going to throw up in his mouth. The thought of being with him made her skin crawl but she began preparing herself to do whatever it took to survive. She hoped that Neil or the police would find her. She had an idea of at least giving Neil a clue. Thank God her mom had read Hansel and Gretel to her when she was a child.

  Kate took the lipstick out of her purse, hoping she had enough to write a message on the mirror. She wrote: Please help. Kate Simmons-kidnapped. Going to Big Bear. Call Neil at (619) 299-7140 and 911. This might be her only hope, that someone would find this message and call Neil to tell him where she was going. It would give him and the police a starting point. Someone was bound to see this sooner or later.

  She had obviously taken too long and Roger burst into the ladies room like a deranged lunatic. Their eyes met in the mirror.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” he growled at her.

  Roger took the lipstick out of her hand and threw it across the bathroom. He then smeared her message with his hands, making it unreadable. Perhaps being so angry, he might decide to kill her right there. Kate had no idea how to diffuse the situation, words failing her as she stared at him with intense fear crashing over her like waves in the turbulent ocean.