“No, not at all. The night Drew saw us together I figured out that had been her goal. She suggested we go there and that it had been on his FB status. I was so disgusted with her and myself for falling for her game that I told her that night I didn’t want to see her again. She felt that she deserved to be with me since you had left me up for grabs. I swear that bitch is crazy.” He shook his head visibly still not over the situation himself.
I wasn’t totally surprised by what he was telling me. I had always noticed that she was extra friendly to Evan, but I just thought it was because they were so similar. I guess I always knew she was jealous of our relationship. What she didn’t count on Evan being as cold as he was. We sat in silence for a while until I finally decided to end it.
“So besides giving me the whole truth, what were you hoping to accomplish tonight Evan?” I knew he was a man with a purpose and meeting me wasn’t just about him telling me the blow by blow of his mistake.
“I wanted to apologize to you and I was hoping that we could somehow be friends or something. It was driving me crazy to think you had the image of me moving on from you to your best friend. I wanted you to know that I miss you and that you meant more to me than just a status symbol even though I didn’t show it.” His words were sincere and I had to fight my natural tendency to push an ugly situation to the background.
“Then thank you. I understand people make mistakes, but you have to give me some time to process all of this. You were the most important person in my life for so long; it was hurting me to have a void in my heart where you should be.” I was surprised at my own honesty. He was obviously taken aback too and reached over for my hand studying the finger that his engagement ring used to adorn.
“I want to give you back your ring.” I said. He shook his head.
“No. I can’t take it back Jade. That would kill me.”
As usual we shared unspoken sentiments and I took solace in the knowledge that our breakup had hurt him just as deeply. Maybe we could be friends, eventually.
We spent the rest of our dinner with me filling him in on all the details I had wanted to share with him from the day I landed in this big city. He listened eagerly as I gave him the rundown on my job and the clients I had inherited, and even looked proud when I explained having to renegotiate all my contracts. I asked him about the team and he told me some of the sordid stories of the ball players that I used to wait up to hear. It was a bittersweet night as we were reminded of how close we were but how far away our dreams of the past were.
I texted Jackie and made plans to meet with her and Drew after my dinner with Evan. I didn’t want to go home after such a deep conversation and figured that we all deserved to have some fun after the week I put everyone through. Evan looked slightly disappointed, but then understanding when I told him I had plans after dinner. I knew he was hoping I would want to rekindle one of our intimate encounters, but he knew he did well enough just to get me to dinner and accept his apology.
We held hands as we walked the two blocks to where we parked the car and he helped me hail a cab, having more fun than a grown man should doing it. He finally scored an empty taxi that was on-duty and we both looked at each other for direction. He ran his hand down my cheek cradling my face in his large palm. I closed my hands allowing myself to enjoy the familiar feel of his affection. He turned my face towards him and leaned in for a gentle kiss on my lips. It was quick, nothing overly sexual but just enough to move me out of my built in zone of indifference. I didn’t fight the emotions that he stirred up and let him see how much this whole ordeal had affected me. He held me in his arms for a good bye hug.
“I’m so sorry Jade. I’ll never get over letting you go.” He quickly tucked me in the cab and turned towards his rental.
24 SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE
I walked into Echo with slight apprehension that night. Even though Jackie swore Edward would not be there and Julian had been sight unseen for months, I was still wary going there. I spotted my crew waiting at a VIP table as usual. They both eyed me suspiciously trying to determine my mood. I was going to need Prozac if things kept up at this rate. I flashed a smile as I did a two step the rest of the way to the table.
I actually felt better after meeting with Evan. I was going to have to make a habit of this closure business. I was also missing my rosè habit that Jackie had waiting for me at our table, and poured myself a glass after I hugged them both. As usual, Jackie was too impatient to wait for me to volunteer what happened.
“OK! Feel free to let us know what happened at any point. It’s not like we have been waiting on it or anything.” She sipped her drink after her outburst.
Drew just shook his head and led one of his female admirers to the dance floor. I moved closer to Jackie.
“Must you always be so…tactless? Yes that was it. Tacky Jackie…” I frowned at her but she just laughed at the childhood nickname she used to hate.
“Oh c’mon Jade! You practically drank yourself silly when you found out he was with Colleen. Am I not supposed to be anxious to know how you managed to keep your cute lil booty out of jail tonight?” She smacked my butt to emphasize her point.
“OK. Let’s see. We talked; he apologized; then he explained; I forgave him; we ate; he went home, and I came here. The end.” I wasn’t in the mood for a long recap.
Jackie contemplated a response but in a rare instance used her better judgment and nodded her head in acceptance of my summary. Even though she was pushy I felt bad for being mean.
“I’ll fill you in over lunch dear; I just want to have a good time tonight.” I tried to smooth her over, and it worked. She flashed me her signature smile and grabbed my hands to lead me into the throng of dancers.
“Then let’s do that!” She cheered.
And fun we definitely had. We danced until my feet hurt. Then as I was about to have a seat the DJ switched from his top 40 mix on to Salsa and Merengue. I looked over at Jackie who was in need of rescue from her more than eager dance partner. I cut in and twirled her away to the Latin rhythm. I took the lead and spun Jackie effortlessly around the dance floor, and I was aware of a growing audience with a few claps and cheers including Drew‘s encouraging chant. We laughed, and continued on.
Something made the hairs on my neck prickle and my goose bumps sprouted. I had been feeling semi tense since meeting with Evan. I brushed it off and continued to spin my cousin around to a Celia Cruz classic La Vida Es Un Carnival. Then I had one of those moments when your eyes and your mind are not on the same page and you have to second guess if you really saw what you thought you saw. When I saw him my heart stopped. I stopped breathing and I stopped dancing. He was dressed in a tight designer V-neck T-shirt and another sexy pair of jeans.
No!
Julian looked so relaxed as he watched us with great amusement, until he locked eyes with me, and then I saw that familiar look of a hunter gleam in his eyes. I tried to pretend that I hadn’t seen him and continue to enjoy myself, but I was too aware of him. Watching me. I ignored him. I didn’t want to face him and the feelings I had tucked away over the last few months. But my body trembled so badly that even Jackie looked at me to see if I was OK. When she followed the gaze of my eyes she understood.
“Do you want to go and talk to him?” She asked with concern.
“No, screw him. He’s always fuckin messing up my good time. I’ll talk to him when I’m ready, or never.” She nodded in agreement with a slight smirk.
Then we continued to dance. Drew was in my line of sight doing the bachata with a lively partner who sported a top with a flag of Brazil in the middle. Just his type. He smiled at me with that devilish grin he always got when he saw a woman he wanted.
I was ignoring Julian so well I didn’t realize that he had walked up on us. He moved in behind Jackie and joined me in leading her around. She gave me a confused look and turned to see who was behind her. When she saw Julian she laughed and then twirled me into the middle and handed me over to him.
>
Traitor!!
I shot her the evil eye, and she blew me a kiss as she walked away and then saw the look of confusion turn to understanding and then concern on Drew‘ s face.
I knew trying to get away from him was useless so I let Julian lead me around the dance floor. He was an excellent dancer. The way he moved so freely and in tune with the rhythm made me a better dancer, and he was gorgeous, especially when he was smiling like he was now with his hair grown out and curling at the ends. And, I had missed him. The ache in my heart that I felt for John flared but was rivaled by the hole in my heart that I'd been trying to ignore for months. Despite my anger, my feigned indifference, and despite my love for John I still missed him. My emotions were so all over the place that I couldn’t even manage a fake smile.
We danced in silence, but the gaze in his eyes displayed the same look of wanting, and my skin still tingled wherever he touched me. I was in trouble again. As we danced he slowly closed the gap in-between us, frequently pulling me in to brush against my body. Somehow I managed to keep up with him. Thank God for my grandmother’s wide taste in music. Julian also seemed equally impressed with my moves and gave me an appreciative nod every so often. I felt my resistance begin to falter. I wanted him so bad.
“Jade, if it means anything to you, I missed you like you wouldn’t imagine. I promise I will explain it all to you” I didn’t answer right away because I really didn’t know what it meant to me. Then I came to my senses. I thought about John, and my anger flared.
“I hate you!” I said it in a very calm but forceful tone. He didn’t react.
“Did you hear what I said? I HATE you! What do you think this is, hide and seek? Hey look everyone!! Found Julian!” After the week I had my anger wasn’t going to be checked.
His features eased into a glower and a brief flash of fear shot through me.
“Hate? You have no idea how to feel that word. You have no idea about many things.” He sneered.
“You're right! I have no idea about a lot of things but I do know a few things very well. You are a stranger to me and I have played nice long enough with you. Please let me go so I can enjoy my evening.” I tried to enforce my request without causing too much of a scene. I noticed that Andrew was standing watch close by and didn’t want to set him off.
“Is he what you consider enjoying your evening? I have to hand it to you, never a shortage of admirers for you.” His words were insulting.
“Well, I do enjoy his company, considering he is my brother, you ASS! Now get your fucking hands off of me before I scream!” I was already rather loud but not enough to cause a stir over the music in the club.
Julian just tightened his grip around my waist even though he took the time to send a friendly nod in Drew’s direction. Drew returned the nod and went back to dancing, but stayed close. I tried to struggle away but he just turned it into part of our dancing. No one noticed I was fighting for my life.
“Jade, I’ve come too far for you to think that a few curse words and fake struggling is going to deter me.” Spoken like a true crazy person.
I feel like a crazy person!
I was angry, scared, frustrated, and all the while fighting my natural reaction to him. I was scared because I knew the longer I stayed near him, pressed against him and smelling his scent, I would not be able to stick to my guns.
“Listen, I don’t know where you came from, how far it was or even how long it took you to get here, but you wasted your time. I have nothing to say to you Julian. It’s that simple.”
My eyes shot golden daggers at him as I decided to stop struggling and stop moving all together. This forced him to stop dancing unless he was going to drag me around the dance floor. We stood there staring at each other with raw emotion blazing between us. I shook my head.
“This is unreal! This shit isn’t really happening right now. No way. I can’t belie-” Before I could finish my rant of disbelief he grabbed me and pulled me roughly against him for a kiss. I continued to shake my head not wanting to accept what was happening. His lips pillaged my lips and my face in a display of profound passion.
My anger swelled initially, and I pursed my lips tight against his onslaught, refusing his advance. But, I could smell him and he smelled so good, and I could feel the heat from his body searing into me. And when he began to beg me to kiss him I couldn’t remember how to stay mad.
“Oh God, Jade I hated being away from you. Baby, please kiss me. I’ve been dreaming of nothing else since I last saw you.” His words were desperate and my common sense was thinking of better things to fight against. My body quivered against his. I couldn’t resist the urgent pressure of his succulent lips against mine.
“Julian, please! Please don’t do this to me.” The act of talking against his lips gave him the chance to keep them separated and he slowly sucked and pulled at my bottom lip.
“Kiss me baby. Please.” He urged.
This felt so wrong. Last week I was with John and I was happy. Now I was trying to fight the very reason John had left me. But, he had left me and now Julian was here and I was lost. I pressed my lips against his and then slid my tongue across his lips slowly sucking on his lip after I licked it. I could feel the desire raging in him like a volcano as a moan from deep inside of him exploded against my lips. He opened his mouth and when our tongues finally met it was like lightning. We kissed as if this was the last kiss. I held on to his shoulders for support and his free hand moved to my neck pushing me upwards into the kiss while winding his fingers thru my hair. I breathed hard and ragged into his mouth. My need growing and raging inside and mixing with my anger until my mind couldn’t understand.
This was the mindless abandon that I had always heard of. Not caring who, what, when, where or how. I began to murmur soft protests against his lips.
“Stop! Ahh! No! No! No! Ooooh…” Even my protests went on strike. He just whispered his response against my lips.
“Please don’t fight me baby.” The winding of his waist increased as he guided mine against him.
He was so fucking hot. Yes, damn it! I wanted him. I returned his intensity to our kiss and he pulled me against him, up off of my feet and walked me off of the dance floor. He grinned mischievously as he carried me past our VIP table, past the bar and past the restrooms into a back office. He kicked the door closed behind him and sat me on his large cherry wood desk. It was hard to assess from the dim lighting what else was in this office. He stood in front of me almost unsure of his next move.
“You see what I mean? In a crowd full of people…” He ran his hands through his hair. “What am I going to do with you?”
He ran one hand across my cheek, down my neck, and over my breasts. My thin dress was no protection from his touch. With his other hand he pulled my hair so my neck was more exposed and kissed his way up to my lips. I sat there frozen in anticipation of what was going to happen. I didn’t want to have sex in some random office in the back of a club, not after he had left me for so long, but I had no power to stop wanting him.
He let go of my hair and slid his hand down further pulling my dress off my shoulders and the top of my dress fell forward to expose my bare breasts. He pulled away from the kiss to admire his handiwork. His hunger deepened as he grasped both of my breasts and bent down to allow his mouth access. He licked and sucked at one nipple at a time with slow deliberation.
“Ooh, yes…don’t stop sucking.” I leaned back placing my palms into the desk for support. He made a sound as if he loved what he tasted. I had to close my eyes as the sight of him giving me so much pleasure was too much. He let one hand fall to my ankle and slowly slid it back up my leg. When he reached my thigh he slowly began to massage my skin as he made his way to the center of my desire. I could feel my tell tale sap sliding out of me before his fingers even found me. When they did he cursed harshly against my breast.
“Fuck! You’re so wet, you’re so wet. Hmm…I can’t believe it’s been so long” He groaned while he slid his fingers
around the entrance toying with me. He pulled his finger out and rubbed the slickness across my lips. I hungrily licked and sucked at his fingers.
“Damn baby, save some for me.” He licked his finger with me and then licked what he could off of my lips. I was over my limit and ready to pay up. He grabbed my hips pulling me closer to him so that he could bury his face into my sweet spot. I moaned and squirmed against him feeling my release growing. I was faintly aware of a constant buzzing sound.
Who cares?
Julian didn’t and he continued to feast away.
There was a loud bang on the office door after that. Julian slowly pulled his head away and scowled at the door.
“What!!” He bellowed at the door.
A man responded in an urgent Spanish tone.
“Damn it!” He barked as he slicked his hair down.
He looked at me reluctantly and gently pulled me up, and gave me a quick kiss as he fixed my dress back around my neck. I watched him in a daze. He smoothed my hair back into place and leaned back to tuck his erection back into his pants. I didn’t even know when he took it out. He barked at the door and from what I gathered he said he would be right out. He opened a cabinet and took a swig from a bottle of Patron. He walked back over to me and stood me up and straightened my dress.
“Baby, please wait for me. I have something that I’ve blown off all night. Then I can explain everything to you. I won’t be long.” I just gawked at him. Some things never change.
Was this how it would always be?
He walked out to handle whatever business was waiting for him.
Thank the Lord!
Relief rushed through me as I reached for my purse. I checked my phone. One text from Jackie letting me know that they were leaving since I was in good hands. Two missed calls and a text from John asking me to call him. Guilt settled in my stomach like a ton of lead. I stuffed my phone back into my wristlet and headed for the bathroom. I couldn’t believe he was back. Did I really care to hear what he had to say? He was gone for almost five months without a text, an email, or a smoke stack. As I walked out of the office I spotted an exit sign. Remembering our previous bathroom trist, I thought it best to leave.
Jaded Hearts (The Jaded Hearts Club) Page 17
