Soulful Strut

by Emery, Lynn

  “It’s a pretty day. Lenore and me was gonna just hang out downtown since we got off early. How ya doin’?” Candi said, as though she did not notice the tension in the air.

  “I had a nice morning. The afternoon hasn’t started off quite as well.” Monette looked at Candi as she shifted in her seat.

  “Who spoiled your day?” Candi bounced her crossed leg and snapped the lump of gum she chewed.

  “Nobody spoils my days, ’cause I don’t allow it. But I may be about to spoil yours,” Monette replied in a cool tone that concealed the white-hot fury she felt.

  “Oh?” Candi did a perfect imitation of being surprised.

  “I’m pulling you both from the job sites. We’ve had complaints of you two not doing your work, hanging out and more. You’ll get the details in writing in the morning.” Danica crossed her arms and waited.

  “You can’t fire us. We were hired by those companies,” Candi said. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Monette defiantly.

  “Wrong. You’re probationary and still under our agreement,” Monette snapped.

  “I checked the program description. Once we finished that on-the-job trainin’ and started workin’, we don’t have to be under you. Our office managers will keep us on.” Candi popped her gum again and smiled.

  Monette could have easily leapt across her desk and slapped Candi in that moment. She tightened her crossed arms to keep the ghetto girl in her from breaking out Monette took in air and let it out slowly. She forced her arms to loosen as she did so. A commotion would definitely draw notice.

  “Don’t count on it. They have bosses, and they don’t want you back. For now you can stay in the program, but only if you work on the job-search module. We’re not paying you to do nothing,” Monette said flatly.

  “Hell, no. I can read the paper and get a job by my damn self,” Candi said with a sneer.

  “You screwed up.” Monette pointed at her.

  “No, wait. We don’t know nothin’ about those burglaries. We just—” Lenore stopped when Candi shot a heated glance at her.

  “Interesting you brought that up.” Monette looked at her hard, until Lenore’s gaze dropped to the floor.

  “Fine. Then kick us out of the program,” Candi cracked back.

  Monette stood over her. When Candi stood to face her, Danica came from behind her desk and got between them. Just then Kim knocked and came in. Her eyes widened as she looked at Monette, then Candi. Lenore twisted her hands together nervously.

  “Calm down everyone,” Danica broke in before Monette could speak.

  Monette collected herself. She took a step back and let out a slow breath. “I’m cool.”

  “Come on, Lenore. Either we work for those lame ass folks or we’ll find our own jobs. Either way we ain’t worried’. You can’t say the same.”

  “What does that mean?” Danica asked.

  “Too bad about those newspaper articles,” Candi smirked at Monette. “I’m sure you don’t want any more bad publicity, like problems on your Cadillac helping us poor unfortunates.”

  “Get out,” Monette said quietly.

  Once they were gone, Kim let out a shaky breath and leaned against the door of Danica’s office. Monette had clenched her hands into fists so hard that her fingernails had dug into her palms. She forced her hands open and took in more air to calm her rage. Danica shook her head slowly.

  “What did she mean by your Cadillac?” Danica glanced at Monette.

  “Prison slang for an easy job. Most of the residents do grunt work in low-paid jobs.” Monette could still taste the bitterness that Candi had directed toward her. The distance between them was greater than Monette had taken time to recognize.

  Kim jumped when someone knocked on the door. She cracked it open, then let out a ragged sigh of relief when she saw Danica’s secretary. She accepted the file folder from her. “Thanks, Liz. Mr. Hargrove sent all the reports. The businesses in the area formed an association so they share information, especially about crime.”

  “Let me see those.” Monette took the folder and opened it.

  “Okay. Kim, call the employers. Apologize, but don’t make it sound like we think Candi or Lenore is involved. You know what I mean,” Danica said.

  “Right. Smooth things over and discourage any talk that our participants are linked to those burglaries,” Kim replied with a nod and hurried out.

  “And try to find out if any reporters have shown up,” Monette put in. She started for the door. “I’ll be in my office looking over these.”

  “I’m going to check on the other participants. I’m hoping we don’t have a problem with them, too. Monette, wait,” Danica said.

  “Yeah.” Monette turned to face her.

  “This isn’t your fault”

  “I know it up here.” Monette tapped her forehead. “But still. I’ll see you later.”

  Monette went to her office. She spread out seven separate police reports. She began to scan them one by one. There were witnesses in only two of the burglaries. Of the seven buildings that had been broken into, only one had security cameras. Somehow the cameras had been disabled without anyone noticing, a sign of an inside job. After fifteen minutes of reading, Monette swore softly.

  ***

  Later that evening Monette went through her routine calmly at the halfway house. Since it was her turn to help in the kitchen, Monette helped cook and later clean up. The other women went off to either watch television or take part in a group counseling session. Tyeisha and Lenore kept darting nervous looks from Monette to Candi and at Yarva. Yarva gave off more arrogant attitude than usual. Candi seemed more subdued. With true street instincts, the other residents knew a fight was brewing. They distracted the staff with banter. Finally Monette finished loading the dishwasher. She saw Candi alone on the patio smoking a cigarette. Candi did not acknowledge Monette’s presence for a time. Finally she blew out a stream of smoke.

  “You got something to say I guess,” Candi drawled.

  “Yeah. Tell me you didn’t have anything to do with those burglaries.” Monette walked around to stand in front of her.

  “I didn’t have anything to do with those burglaries,” Candi mimicked. “Is that all?”

  “Hell no, that’s not all. Why, Candi? I tried to help you out, and this is how you thank me. I—”

  “You, you, you. Always gotta be about you. You weren’t tryin’ to help me. It was all about you makin’ a name for yourself, getting on the radio to brag. You and your bourgie man.” Candi spoke in a gush of words, as though she’d been holding them in too long. She glared at Monette for a few seconds, and then looked away.

  “That sounds more like Yarva talking. I thought you had enough common sense and brains to make up your own mind. Guess I was wrong.” Monette did not wait for an answer. She was too tired to hear more. All she wanted was to be alone.

  ***

  The next day Monette went through the motions of getting out of bed, cleaning up and eating breakfast. The women who had not left early for work or community service made small talk around the table. They watched Monette closely. Janet came up to her as Monette got more coffee from the large pot.

  “You okay this mornin’?” Janet pulled the lever and filled her cup. She stirred sugar into it“Fine.” Monette went to the kitchen to avoid more talk.

  Miss Inelle watched Monette move around the kitchen doing cleaning chores. She hummed an old hymn under her breath as she made a grocery list. Finally Miss Inelle sat down with a sigh.

  “Gonna be quiet around here today. I like that. I’m not used to working the day shift. That new girl called in again. Oh, well, more money for me.” Miss Inelle laughed.

  “We need more of these antibacterial kitchen towelettes.” Monette wiped down the countertops.

  “Yeah. You got to look at any situation and see the good in the bad. Sometimes things just work out right for people.” Miss Inelle clicked her ink pen and added to the list

  “Who?” Monette starte
d loading the dishwasher mechanically, her mind on Second Chances and what she would eventually have to tell Danica.

  “Just talking in general. About the way things work.” Miss Inelle looked at Monette.

  “Oh. Right.” Monette got the floor sweeper out of the closet.

  “Like I said, a lotta times what looks like a bad break turns out to be a blessing.”

  Monette put the sweeper away. “Thanks. I’ll remember that.”

  Sherrial came into the kitchen. “Monette, come to my office for a minute.”

  “Can we put off our session? I want to prepare for my next radio show.” Monette did not feel up to mental probing.

  “It’s not that. The mail just came.” Sherrial gestured for her to follow.

  Monette sighed but went out behind her. Once they were in her office, Sherrial handed Monette an envelope. The Pardon Board seal caught Monette’s eye before she even read the return address. Monette held it for almost a minute. An envelope that weighed only a few ounces held her future. Sherrial leaned against her desk and waited with patience. Finally Monette opened it. As she read, Monette felt numb inside.

  “Louisiana politics win again. The board didn’t recommend a pardon. But the good news is I can reapply in two years. Ain’t that great?” Monette started to rip the letter apart, but Sherrial stopped her.

  “Let me see.” Sherrial smoothed out the sheets of paper. “I’m really sorry. Now start thinking about how you can move forward.”

  “Thanks, but I’m not in the mood for therapy.” Monette waved away her attempts to social work the situation.

  Sherrial blocked her path to the door. “No, I’m not going to let you spend time in self-pity.”

  “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. So just let me work it out in my own way,” Monette said.

  “How?” Sherrial persisted.

  “I don’t know yet. Look, back off me a minute. Everybody is demanding answers from me and I’m sick of it. I can’t solve everything at once.” Monette went to the window and stared outside.

  “You’re feeling overwhelmed by the demands of others right now, huh?” Sherrial went to her desk and sat on the edge of it.

  “My mother is always begging for money. Like I can support every stupid thing they decide to do. My sister Rita goes out and buys a car she can’t afford, and I’m supposed to pay for it? I shouldn’t have sent them money in the first place.” Monette rubbed her eyes hard.

  “So you told your mother no.”

  Monette nodded. “You can imagine how well that went over. So much for family love. Then I stick my neck out for Candi and—”

  “And what?”

  “Another mess I’ve gotta clean up. Damn, my life is like one car wreck after another. But it’s my own fault.”

  Monette cried until her head began to ache. She could not bring herself to talk about Jayson. No way did she have a right to bring so much drama into his life, not to mention how it could affect Lenae. At some point Jayson would be forced to back away from her for Lenae’s sake. Not that she would blame him. The thought of giving up the only good thing she had made Monette cry even harder. Yet she knew in her heart it was the best for Jayson.

  Sherrial handed her a wad of tissues and put an arm around her shoulder. She led Monette to the chair in her office. “Multiple troubles are like twisted-up vines. Maybe we can look at ways to hack away at them one by one.”

  Trudy came in after only one knock. “Good morning. Is everything okay?”

  “Sure.” Monette wiped her face quickly and turned away.

  “No, it’s not,” Trudy said. She sat down in the chair next to Monette.

  “Monette’s request for a pardon was denied,” Sherrial said when Monette didn’t answer.

  “They considered my history, the fact that I was with the guys who had drugs and that there was no confirmed evidence that I was framed.” Monette struggled not to let more tears fall and failed. When Trudy put a hand on her shoulder, Monette clenched her teeth. “I don’t need pity right now.”

  “The best thing you can do is think about the future. You’ve got goals to work toward.” Trudy spoke in a crisp, businesslike fashion.

  “I gotta go. Thanks for the tissues and sympathy.” Monette tossed the soggy wad into Sherrial’s small trash-can and left.

  “Hey, I passed my office management test,” Tyeisha blurted out with a grin when she saw Monette. Then she frowned as she studied Monette’s face. “What—”

  “I’m fine. Just go on with your personal celebration.” Monette went upstairs to her bedroom.

  Seconds later Tyeisha came in without knocking. “What’s up, Monette? C’mon now, tell me about it.”

  Lenore joined them. “Something happen?”

  “I appreciate y’all trying to help, but I’ve got a radio show to prepare and a book to write. A little peace and quiet will go a long way to help me out right now.” Monette took out her AlphaSmart. She turned it on and started typing.

  “Okay. If you’re sure,” Tyeisha said with a glance at Lenore. She gestured toward Monette with her head. “I gotta go to class.”

  Monette looked up in time to see the signal between them. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

  “I don’t leave for my job until this afternoon. We can talk.” Lenore waved Tyeisha out and sat down on the bed. “Look, if this is about the program, don’t sweat it. Okay? I went and apologized to my supervisor at the spa. We’re cool.”

  “I appreciate it, Lenore. I really want you to make it, you know?” Monette put a hand on her shoulder.

  “Yeah, I do. And I don’t wanna disappoint you.” Lenore smiled at her.

  “No, this isn’t about me. Stick with the training and school for you,” Monette replied with force.

  “Sure, and that’s what I told Ramone. Girl, he dropped me two weeks ago. Said I was actin’ too uppity. Just cause I’m tryin’ to better myself. There was a time I would have been runnin’ after him. No more.” Lenore tossed her hair and sat straight.

  “Good for you. Don’t let anybody keep you down.” Monette nodded. “Now go rest up before you take on managing a busy spa.”

  Monette found enough strength from somewhere to smile at Lenore. She needed to stop thinking of herself, as Candi said. Lenore had worked hard on learning basic business skills to get a certificate from the community college. With that, she had gotten a job as the manager of a local spa. Tyeisha was also doing well and could get a store manager’s job soon. They had succeeded in spite of Monette’s tendency to spoil everything she touched.

  Lenore started for the door but turned around. “Follow your own advice, Monette. Don’t let nobody keep you down. I know you can make it.”

  They gazed at each other for a few minutes. Monette wiped her eyes with the back of one hand. “Right. Now go on so I can get some writing done, girl.”

  Lenore seemed reluctant to leave as she studied Monette. “I’m down the hall if you need me.”

  “Thanks.” Monette went back to typing until she heard the door bump shut. Then she tossed aside the AlphaSmart and finished the crying she’d started in Sherrial’s office.

  Chapter 19

  On Monday, Monette did her show at the station. She walked through her day doing tasks as usual, but she felt in a daze. Jayson called her several times, and she even managed small talk with him. By the time she went back to Second Chances on Friday, Monette had come to some decisions.

  Kim came to Monette’s office. “I e-mailed you Candi’s termination letter. Did you review it?”

  “Yeah. Looks okay.”

  “Candi is waiting outside. Sure you don’t want to wait for Danica and let her do this? She’ll be back from that conference Monday.” Kim seemed willing to delay the unpleasant task.

  “No, I got her into this mess, and it’s up to me to fix it.” Monette had talked to Danica that morning. They’d both agreed Candi wasn’t right for the program. Her attitude guaranteed that she would continue to give them problems. />
  “If you’re ready, I’ll bring her in,” Kim said.

  “Fine.” Monette smoothed down her blouse and skirt nervously.

  “Don’t know what all this crap is about. Just give me my walking papers,” Candi said the second she walked into Monette’s office.

  “We do exit interviews as part of the program no matter why a participant leaves,” Kim explained. “Please sit down.”

  “So much for helping out your girl,” Candi said to Monette. She walked over to the edge of Monette’s desk.

  “You consistently violated program rules despite being counseled. I documented the times I met with you,” Kim continued in a calm tone.

  “We talked to our supervisors. Far as they know, our bosses haven’t fired us.” Candi continued to ignore Kim.

  “You will be. Those jobs were provided as part of Opportunity Knocking. The only way they get the tax credits is if you successfully complete the program,” Monette replied, measuring out her words for emphasis.

  “I quit a job cause you talked me into this,” Candi yelled and pointed at Monette.

  “You should have thought about that before you started playin’ jailhouse games,” Monette said in a normal tone of voice. She glanced at Kim. “You can go now. I’ll take it from here.”

  Kim glanced at Candi, then at Monette. “Uh, maybe I better stay just in case.”

  “It’s okay. Really.” Monette stood and walked around her desk. She nodded to Kim that she should leave. Once the door closed, she put both fists on her hips. “What the hell did you expect to happen, Candi? And don’t give me that poor pitiful me routine.”

  “What are you talkin’ ’bout?” Candi crossed her arms.“Blaming me for your screw-up, that’s what I’m talking about. All this whining about how all I think about is myself. Bull. If you think I’m going to go back to where I came from for you, forget it. I’ve got enough battles to fight. I’m not taking you on as a project, too. Decide if you want to make it out here or not. You’re grown, act like it.” Monette jabbed a finger into Candi’s chest to drive home her point.

  Candi breathed hard as she stared back at Monette. Fire flashed in her ebony eyes for a few seconds, and then died down. She brushed Monette’s hand away. “Fine. Do what you gotta do.”