The Girls They Lost

by J H Leigh

  But Hicks shook his head. “That’s a bad idea,” he warned. “That’s like laying cheese for the mouse. You can’t go where they’ll expect you to turn up.”

  If I couldn’t turn up at my house or Lora’s, Dylan couldn’t mourn her beloved Nova either. I gave her a look that told her I understood even as I agreed with Hicks, promising, “When this is all over, we’ll go together. For now, you need to steer clear. For all we know, they could be watching and waiting for you.”

  “I don’t care,” Dylan said bitterly. “I need to know where she’s buried.”

  But Kerri wasn’t finished. “That’s not all. When I pulled Nova’s file, someone noticed, which means someone in my department has reason to care. My superior came in and told me to stop wasting time on a closed case.”

  “Closed case? How the fuck can they close the case when she was murdered?” Dylan asked.

  “Not according to her autopsy and that’s what the official record states,” Kerri explained.

  “This is some bullshit,” Dylan said, her voice rising an octave. “If some rich girl had ended up like Nova, that shit would’ve been sprayed all over the news with cops tripping all over themselves to solve the crime. It’s not Nova’s fault that she had shitty parents. It’s not any of our faults!”

  Kerri waited a beat for Dylan to calm down. It wasn’t that Dylan wasn’t spitting truth, it was only that there was nothing Kerri could do about it. When she sensed Dylan was finished, she continued, “There were other discrepancies in her autopsy that looked like red flags to me.”

  “Like what?” I asked.

  “She had bruising that I feel is more consistent with what you girls described than what was written in the report. The girl was beaten.”

  “So who the fuck wrote this bogus report?” Dylan demanded to know. “Maybe we ought to start there. He or she is obviously crooked as fuck. They must be working for Madame Moirai.”

  “I thought the same thing. I looked into the coroner who processed Nova’s body…”

  “And?” Hicks asked.

  “Dead. Heart attack about six weeks ago.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ,” Hicks muttered. “Working for this bitch seems like a death sentence no matter where you are in the chain.”

  “Maybe. Or he might’ve died from natural causes. Apparently, he was pretty old and getting ready to retire.”

  “I don’t understand…if Nova was found…wouldn’t they have contacted her next of kin?” I asked.

  “Under normal circumstances but I checked her file and the only contact information was an old foster home and there were no other numbers listed. When the city can’t find next of kin, they process the deceased as indigent.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” Dylan asked, offended.

  “It just means she was poor and unable to pay for burial expenses,” I answered, soothing Dylan’s feelings. I looked at Kerri. “So, basically, we have a dead coroner, a murdered girl, some random mortuary and Madame Moirai going on a killing spree trying to cut loose ties. That sound about right?”

  “Pretty accurate thus far.” She looked to Hicks. “You want to add anything?”

  “Yeah,” he said, reaching for the whiskey bottle “I’m going to need a helluva lot more of this if I’m going to get through this shit-show with my sanity. This whole goddamn mess is like something out of a fucking movie and I’m definitely not getting paid enough.”

  “Glad to know you’re only it for the money,” Dylan retorted. “I hope you get cirrhosis.”

  “I’m sure that cosmic order is already in process, kid,” Hicks returned, not the least bit ruffled.

  “Enough, you two,” Kerri sighed, rubbing her brow. “Look, I understand why you girls did what you did…but you can’t go vigilante on me, okay? Regina Baker was a shit person but she was our one solid lead. I might’ve been able to get her to talk.”

  “Not to burst your bubble but she wasn’t going to say shit,” Dylan said. “Especially not to some cop. She deserved what she got and I don’t regret a thing.” With that, Dylan abruptly rose and left the room, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

  Even though Dylan had claimed that she preferred to believe that Nova was dead because it hurt less…the reality was different.

  Removing all doubt that Nova was gone, had to hurt like a hole in the chest.

  Adding to her burden, Dylan would have to give the news to Badger.

  I shared a look with Hicks and he knew what I was thinking.

  “I’ll tell him. It’s what he’s paying me for anyway,” he said, pursing his lips before lifting the bottle and taking a deep swig. “Fuck, this job is going to kill me one way or another any way. Who wants to live forever, right?”

  Hicks rose and grabbed his jacket. To Kerri, he instructed, “Keep them here, will ya? I’m going to deliver the news and I don’t need either of these little idiots stirring up more trouble while I’m gone.”

  I was touched by his odd show of concern. Kerri nodded and watched him leave.

  To me, she said, “Have you eaten?”

  I shrugged. I wasn’t really hungry. I was worried about Dylan. Kerri sighed and went to the kitchen to survey what was available. Hicks wasn’t so good about stocking the cupboard, a fact Kerri discovered within a few minutes of searching. “That man,” she muttered, mostly to herself. “Okay, looks like take-out. What sounds good?”

  “I don’t care,” I said, still thinking about Nova and how she’d suffered the same fate as a lot of auction girls, like Tana. Maybe they’d had the same buyer. “Why do they get off on hurting people?” I asked.

  Kerri paused, unsure of how to answer. Finally, she just shook her head. “I don’t know, kid. Some people are just fucking evil, I guess.”

  The truth wasn’t much comfort.

  In fact, the truth scared the ever-loving shit out of me.

  25

  “C’mon, we’re going on another field trip,” Hicks announced, abruptly rousing both of us from our bed. “This train is leaving in five. Let’s go.”

  “Go without me,” Dylan mumbled, burrowing more deeply into the blankets. She hadn’t left the bed in days since discovering Nova was dead. It was like all the fight had just leached out through the puncture hole of her grief. Nothing seemed to help. I stopped trying to get her up and simply laid next to her, holding her hand.

  I didn’t realize how quickly a broken heart could derail even the most steadfast of vengeance trains until I saw Dylan withdraw into herself. Say what you would about Dylan but she loved with the ferocity of a guard dog. Nova had been her touchstone, just as she’d been for Badger.

  Now, both were unmoored.

  For Badger, it meant he was roaming the city a loose cannon, dangerous and unpredictable. I was glad he wasn’t around. I didn’t have the mental bandwidth to tap dance around his moods. With my luck, I’d say the wrong thing and end up in that goddamn pit of his, which I wanted to avoid.

  But for Dylan, she was curling inward like a dying flower and I didn’t know how to help her.

  I moved closer to whisper, “You have to get out of this bed at some point. We can’t let her win otherwise, all the girls lost to Madame Moirai’s auction will never see justice. We’re the only ones speaking for them. Tana, Jilly…Nova…they need us to be stronger than we’ve ever been before. You and me, girl, we got this. C’mon, don’t quit on me now.”

  “What does it matter? She’s gone. They’re all gone. It’s just a matter of time before we are, too. We can’t win this game, Nicole. Don’t you get it? We’re fucked.”

  “With that attitude, yeah,” I said. “But you’re stronger than this. Nova is watching you. Are you going to just lay down and die? Is that what she would’ve wanted for you?”

  “Fuck you,” Dylan said, a tiny spark of her former self showing itself with an angry spark, which was exactly what I wanted to see. “You can’t rally the situation into something it’s not. We’re fucking outgunned. She wins. End of story. I�
�m tired of fighting it. If you had any fucking brains, you’d admit it, too.”

  I realized there was only one way to handle Dylan and I’d gone about it all wrong. I rolled away from Dylan to stand, yanking the bedding from her curled body. “No,” I said firmly. “You don’t get to check out, you selfish little bitch. I didn’t risk my fucking neck to save your ass just so you could quit when I need you the most. Yeah, Nova is gone…so are a lot of fucking girls and it’s our job to do what they couldn’t — survive long enough to break Madame Moirai and her fucking network of perverted dickheads.”

  Dylan sat up, her eyes hot as she tried to wrench the bedding back. “Yeah? Who says?”

  “I do,” I answered without flinching.

  We held each other’s stare as we each held a corner of the blanket in a mental and physical tug-of-war. I wasn’t backing down. Dylan didn’t respect weakness and she wasn’t going to get any from me, which meant I wasn’t going to let her go soft either.

  “You don’t understand —“

  “Excuses are like assholes, everyone’s got one. You’re going to get up, get dressed and walk out that front door with me and then you’re going to remember why the fuck we have to do this.”

  “And why’s that?”

  “Because it fucking matters. It matters to more than just you and I. If we don’t stop Madame Moirai, she won’t quit. More girls will die for the simple crime of hoping for a better life. I know you don’t want that. I know that you wanted better, just like Nova. Just like Tana, and Jilly…like me.” I held my hand to her. “So get the fuck out of that bed and come with me. We’ll do this together. I swear to you, I won’t rest until they’ve all paid the debt they owe to all of us.” I inhaled a long breath and ended with a sincere, “I need you, Dylan. I can’t do it without you.”

  Something clicked and turned over in Dylan’s mind. We were sisters in a fucked up sorority and with that bond came loyalty in all its ugly glory. She climbed from the bed with a terse, “Fine” and started to dress. My shoulders lost their tension and I almost started crying from the relief. I wasn’t lying. I couldn’t do this without her and the thought of facing my fate alone sent tendrils of diarrhea-inducing fear to curl around my gut.

  But she just showed me I wouldn’t be alone.

  Dressed, she stalked past me without another word but that’s okay, I didn’t need it. She was back on track and that’s all that mattered.

  Once we were in Kerri’s vehicle, I discovered we were heading back to Esterdell. Hicks had found a possible location for the auction house and we were headed to check it out.

  This time my gut didn’t cramp as hard at the familiar landscape but as we drove closer, I started to tremble. This time it was Dylan who reached for me, squeezing hard for a brief second. I nodded, feeling the subtle shake in her own hand.

  It was like facing down your attacker in a police line-up. The cops tell you you’re safe and they can’t see you but when only a sheet of mirrored glass stood between you and the person who nearly killed you…the glass isn’t enough to quell the fear.

  “I did a title search for all the houses listed within Esterdell and unlike most of the houses owned by private individuals, one was listed as owned by a corporate entity…Avalon Incorporated. Didn’t seem like a fucking coincidence. Figured we might as well check it out.”

  A shiver raced my spine. “That has to be the auction house,” I agreed, sharing a look with Dylan. We were going back to the auction house. “What if someone is still there?” I asked.

  Kerri answered, “I doubt there will be. That engineer told me that the house was a complete loss. It’s not safe for anyone to be in the structure at this point and it’s not like that bitch is going to want more undue attention.”

  That made sense. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. “You brought your gun, though, right?” I asked.

  “I never leave the house without it,” she assured me. “But to be on the safe side, please promise me you’ll stay in the car until we give you the all-clear.”

  I nodded. I supposed it was the least we could do seeing as we’d killed her only good lead up until this point.

  Kerri double-checked the GPS and we branched off the main road to a nicely maintained private road flanked by trees and manicured spaces. The beauty was lost on me and Dylan. The last time we’d run across these grounds we’d been fleeing for our lives.

  Snow still covered the ground. My toes tingled, remembering cold feet as we ran with only stupid house slippers to protect us from frostbite.

  I remembered the cold chill biting into our skin as it penetrated our thin pajamas. I remembered the wild, panicked beat of my heart as it threatened to pop from my chest at the fear of being caught.

  I also remembered vowing never to return to this awful place.

  But here we were…

  Kerri rolled up slowly to the massive mansion. Burnt and scorched sections of the house marred the icy beauty as wooden bones spindled into the frosty air like outstretched fingers clawing at the heavens.

  After a quick look around the property, Hicks and Kerri allowed us to exit the vehicle. When Mr. Personality had picked me up and dropped me off, depositing me into the hands of that wretched little bitch Olivia, I’d had no idea how my life was going to be ruined.

  How naive I must’ve seemed when I’d thought I was so street-smart.

  I could only imagine how they’d laughed at our expense.

  The faint scent of charred wood and blackened brick teased my nose. I smiled. I did this.

  Kerri’s breath plumed in front of her as she surveyed the house. “You did a great job of destroying this place. How’d you get the fire to spread so fast and far?”

  “I placed the accelerant in all the rooms in the basement I could. I didn’t want to take the chance that they’d be able to put the fire out quickly. Do you think it’s safe enough to go inside?”

  “It’s risky,” Kerri admitted. “Why do you want to go inside?”

  “I don’t know. I want to see the damage, I guess.”

  “That’s a bad idea,” Hicks disagreed with a frown. “The subfloor is fucked. The whole place is unstable. One wrong step and you’d go crashing through the floor.”

  I understood the risk. I wanted to go anyway. “If I was going to die in that house, I would’ve already,” I said, carefully pushing open the front door. I stepped over the threshold and into the foyer. Milky sunlight pierced through giant holes in the ceiling where the fire had climbed the walls and eaten the roof. The place groaned as if the pain of the blaze was still burning through its timbers. My gaze traveled up. The stairway to the upper levels looked sturdy but as I started to climb, Hicks’ hand on my arm stopped me.

  “You’re not going up there,” he said with a firm shake of his head. I thought of shaking his hand away and going anyway but I decided I didn’t need to see the room where they’d imprisoned each of us. The memory of those rooms was forever carved into my brain.

  Kerri peered down the darkened stairway that lead to the basement. “This is where the morgue was?”

  “And the auction,” I said.

  “There’s likely nothing left after the fire,” she mused with a frown.

  Then I realized something. I whirled around to ask Dylan. “Notice anything?”

  Dylan glanced around, hugging herself as if she couldn’t quite shake the chill in her soul. She was about to say no but then she saw what I saw. “Everything is gone. This place is empty.”

  “Exactly. They came in and cleaned out everything that’d once been in this house, whether it was torched or not. They didn’t want to leave behind a single trace anyone had ever lived or spent time in this house,” I said. “They’re covering their tracks.”

  “Seeing as this house is owned by a corporate entity, it’s likely they furnished the house using leased furniture. I’ve heard of high-end clients renting fancy furniture from designers when they’re trying to sell a place. It’s called ‘dressing’ a house.
Whoever they leased the furniture from would’ve filed an insurance report for the damaged property. We might be able to trace it and see where it leads.”

  “I doubt Madame Moirai is stupid enough to leave a paper trail of any kind,” I said, glancing around. “She’s like the fucking wind, in and out, leaving nothing but the wreckage behind.”

  “There’s no such thing as a perfect crime,” Kerri reminded me, shoving her hands in her pockets to warm them. This place was like a tomb, which was appropriate since so many had died here.

  I read once that people who died violently left behind a psychic remnant, or echo of their last moments. I didn’t know if it was bullshit but this place vibrated with pain and misery. I didn’t know how I missed it the first time around. I’d been too overwhelmed by the grandeur to hear the subtle cries whispering in the darkness of this place.

  But I could hear them plain as day now.

  “I’m going to wait outside,” Dylan announced, spinning on her heel and practically running away. She felt it, too.

  Tana had died in this place.

  I didn’t know how many others drew their last breath between these walls.

  One was too many.

  Something glinted in the rare shaft of sunlight piercing the ceiling. I moved toward the light, careful where I put my feet, ignoring Kerri’s warnings and Hicks’ growled protests.

  As I moved closer, my heart threatened to stop. I knelt carefully and dug something out of the matted carpet. Something that shouldn’t have escaped the eagle eye of Madame Moirai’s guards, shouldn’t have survived the blaze, and never should’ve escaped melting in the heat lay in the palm of my hand like a gold-plated beacon of stubborn hope.

  The cross Tana had been clutching tightly in her hand, the one piece of personal property Olivia had failed to collect, the one that Tana’s grandmother had given her, was somehow in my hand.

  Tears sprang to my eyes. How was it possible? The last time I saw it, Tana had hidden it in her palm right as we’d been dragged to the auction. Even drugged, Tana had managed to keep hold of it but somewhere along the way, she’d dropped it and it’d gone unnoticed.