Filthy Love (Renegade Souls MC Romance Saga Book 4)

by V. Theia

  Crap. She’d messed up.

  “I’m sorry, Hawk. I didn’t think it through.”

  “I understand, but, Gia. I don’t want someone doing my job. Being there for you when it should be me, with anything. Even if you think it’ll piss me off. Tell me anyway and we’ll deal with it.”

  Her lip fell into a full-on tremble now and two tears rolled down her cheeks, head dropped to his chest.

  “Little bit, please don’t cry. I can’t take it when you cry.”

  “I’m not crying to manipulate you,” she cried harder.

  “I don’t care if you are, just stop fucking crying.” Fingers through her hair, he lifted her tear-soaked face and she hiccupped before getting herself under control. “You are endlessly fucking beautiful, even leaking all over me.”

  His hips shunted forward, and she felt how beautiful he found her.

  A big bulge was very happy to see her.

  Gia inhaled.

  She rose up. He bent down and just as their mouths were finally going to meet, a thump on the door made her nearly jump out of her skin.

  “For fucks sake.” Hawk cursed, keeping Gia under his arm she cuddled in close as he wrenched open the door with a snarled. “What?”

  Slider’s amused eyes swiped between them. “Hey, VP. The Prez needs you in church ten minutes ago.”

  “Gonna kill your fucking brother,” he grumbled against the crown of her head.

  Hornily and with her own groan, she agreed.

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

  “I hope you can survive blood on your hands. It’s not easy being a Marinos.” - Rider

  She was a Marinos.

  She was a fucking Marinos.

  You get one shot to be the kind of person who not only wants to do the right thing, but follows through, no matter what. It’s a one shot don’t hesitate moment.

  Even if that thing to make everything right was slightly … crap … completely immoral and going against every decent strand of her being.

  But there was something Gia knew deep in her heart; for love, she was willing to do anything.

  Even dirty her soul.

  It was that simple.

  The truth was devastating.

  It was a decision she’d stewed over for days and sleepless nights until finally she’d talked to her brother this morning.

  When your heart was no longer your own, it makes decisions much easier. Even the hard-to-face ones. She’d been unable to look herself in the mirror all day. She’d confront her soul another time. First, she needed to see this through.

  Rider hadn’t seemed all that surprised. But then he was who he was, she never probed too deeply into what her brother did for his club or the kind of messes he dealt with to stay afloat in his successful businesses. But she could guess his reputation hadn’t come from him baking donuts and being employee of the month.

  Her brother knew how to get down dirty in the mud when it was needed.

  That’s why she’d come to him.

  “He’s my man. We take care of what’s ours before it’s destroyed.” She’d told him, and Rider nodded in somber understanding. Told her to come back later when he’d got the boys together. That’s why she was at the Renegade Souls clubhouse now worrying her lip with her teeth until a piece of skin ripped and blood salted her tongue.

  Shit. Her belly wanted to dispel her snack from earlier too.

  She was so wound tight with erratic thoughts.

  She would live with the guilt of it later.

  They’d argued last night. Her and Hawk.

  In the middle of a dinner he’d grilled out in the yard his cell phone rang. No guesses who it was when his face turned to granite and he switched off the phone and almost decimated it by slamming it down.

  “You are not paying that woman another cent, Colton.” She’d spat vehemently. “Not one more fucking penny goes to her. Over my dead body will she profit from you again.”

  He’d growled, told her to leave that shit to him and she’d gone to bed alone. Again.

  “You really sure about this, squirt? I can see that it’s done without you involved. I shoulda done something sooner.” Said Rider outside of the large oak door. He rested a comforting hand on her shoulder, blue eyes so like her own somber and wise. Swallowing back her nerves she smiled, and he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

  “I can do it. It has to come from me. I need to do this for Hawk.”

  “Okay, if you’re sure, let’s get in there then.”

  And the two Marinos siblings walked into his sacred church, each set of eyes around the big table turned to look at her with varying stages of surprise and confusion.

  Once Rider took his seat, Gia standing at his side, the one seat notably absent.

  He got everyone’s attention by merely looking down the table until hush descended. Gia wrung her hands together until the skin protested. Her heart galloped looking at Hawk’s empty seat.

  She felt like she was unravelling at the seams.

  She truly was a Marinos now, wasn’t she?

  Her with the doctorates and the education only a lot of money could buy and living by the laws set in stone, never edging towards anything illegal her whole life. She’d never even gotten a speeding ticket for hells sake.

  For Hawk. She’d take this to the other people who loved him too. Because if she didn’t, she’d watch it slowly destroy him.

  “You know this goes against all club rules to allow someone across that door who isn’t patched in.”

  “And doesn’t have tits ....” snickered Arson, running his hands through his shoulder length hair.

  Her brother sent him a dark stare that shut him up quick smart. “As I was sayin’. This is special circumstances. We needed somewhere private.”

  “Where’s the VP, Prez? Shouldn’t he be here if his girl is bringing us something?”

  Gia nervously glanced at her Rider. Guilt gnawing like demented rats at her insides.

  She’d lied to him by omission. Telling Hawk, she was working late.

  She was doing this for Hawk. She had to remember that.

  This wasn’t betrayal.

  It was for him.

  It didn’t lessen the culpability or the sickness roiling around in her belly.

  She just had to fortify her spine and carry on like a devious Marinos would.

  “You got the floor, sis.”

  Every second that ticked by felt like months with each set of male eyes trained on Gia waiting to hear what was so important that their boss would allow such a meeting. And without her man in attendance. She caught Capone’s questioning raised brow.

  Gia wanted to be brave more than anything. Not only in the face of all these men, some she knew, others not so much. Their reputations spoke volumes, thus making her nerves all the worse. She took strength knowing Rider was right there because she needed the bravery to say what she had to.

  And there was no doubt that those words needed to be spoken before more time could pass. To set Hawk’s tortured past free.

  When it came to love, she realized there wasn’t a whole lot she wouldn’t do for his happiness.

  There’s no coming back from this, Gia. Her brother informed.

  She’d smiled with tears in her throat and told him doesn’t that just make me a Marinos now?

  “I’ll get right to it since Hawk will be back soon.” Throat cleared. Fingers tightly clasped. The weight of her next words became an anvil on her tongue and yet she knew nothing would have stopped her from saying them.

  Love became a motivator when it was the one thing filling the heart.

  It drove her on giving her courage and steadfast determination cold enough to battle any scar left behind, knowing whatever guilt she would carry would be shadowed to the love she felt for a man who warranted being severed from his past once and for all.

  He’d kept himself tethered even though he could have gotten rid of it years ago and she guessed he did that because on some level he was still the lit
tle boy made sick by people who should have been taking care of him.

  “I need to ask which of you gentleman would be okay with killing a mother.”

  The room hushed just like that.

  She could have heard a pin drop.

  The room went from silent to eerily, deathly still.

  No one blinked. No one tapped their fingers.

  “Is this a joke, Prez?” Texas the first one to speak. His gaze bouncing from her to the man at the head of the table with his slouched position and hand resting on the table. But there was a dark edge to Rider’s eyes. As soon as she’d told him what she wanted one of his boys to do she’d seen how much he’d known already about Hawk’s past. He was the one man who would understand how Hawk needed this to happen finally. So as Rider’s fingers tapped silently on the table it was with an understanding she too felt in her heart. They were both taking care of Hawk in their own way.

  Swallowing, Gia was managing to stay on her own two jelly legs, though how? She didn’t know.

  “It’s exactly what she said.” Confirmed Rider grimly. “If we vote yes, then this has to happen quick and without a lot of talking.”

  “Your mother?” Piped Tag in a slow, confused murmur. His bow-shaped mouth turned down seriously.

  Rider told her Hawk might not forgive her for it. Not because she wanted his mother dead but going behind his back about it.

  He told her for something this serious he would take it to the table.

  She wished she had a thread of ideas that eventually lead her to the conclusion Hawk’s abuser needed to be killed. When in fact it was the first and only idea Gia had. Straight to murder no passing go or phoning a friend. For a deep analyzing thinker she’d gone to the worst possible solution instantly.

  It scared her spitless.

  And the idea percolated in her mind every single minute for the last four days.

  It wasn’t as though she didn’t know people who could do it. It wasn’t like flicking through the yellow pages for a hitman. She knew people…

  “No, not ours.” She answered, and it was the time to give them more information. This was where her heart wrenched. Because she was about to ask them to keep this to themselves.

  “It’s Hawk’s mother. And he must never know we had this conversation, not until I can tell him myself. Never. If the answer is no, I’m still going to ask you to swear on your club, on those patches you all took an oath on, to never speak of this to him. And I know I’m asking the unspeakable. To in a sense, keep a secret from a brother, that should tell you how imperatively important it is. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever asked anyone. I don’t ask it easily.”

  Preacher whistled through his teeth and rubbed a hand along his long, pointed beard. Sharing a look with Grinder. The two friends seemed to share a silent conversation.

  “Prez?”

  “It’s as Gia says.” Rider confirmed once again, this time to the one they all call Pretty-boy. But he’s not the tall blond man that made Gia’s heart skip a beat.

  “Is the VP in trouble?”

  “Why we only hearing about it now?”

  “I didn’t even know he had a fucking mom!”

  “What the fuck. We just gonna go around killing moms now?”

  “Why isn’t he here?”

  “No offence to Gia, but this isn’t like buying fucking milk.”

  Asking someone to murder another person.

  She accepted the noxious severity of it.

  She was positively sick over it but weighed against the agony and mental torture Hawk still suffered at the hands of that woman and her extortion, it paled in significance. Gia would deal with the fallout, the guilt and shame of what she was asking if it meant Hawk finally had a moment's peace for the first time in his life.

  “So, when do I do in dear old mom?” Asked Lawless suddenly from the bottom end of the table.

  Every head turned his way.

  The lofty, bald man sprawled in his seat, rolling a silver coin over his knuckles, didn’t appear to be fazed at all by the question, nor in how he volunteered nonchalantly.

  Gia stared unblinking, her heart rapping all out of sorts.

  Lawless scoffed. “Like you all didn’t know I was gonna volunteer my expert set of skills, Prez. if you want shit done right, you come to the man who knows how. When and where do I put the hit on momma dearest, since I’m assuming she’s a cunt and needs to get gone asap?”

  Rider nodded gravely.

  “Do we get to know why?” This from Capone. His lips in a tight line, concern from his dark eyes. Of all the men around that table, her brother excluded, Gia knew Capone the best. As often as she’d spoken to him after his own troubles, he may be the one who wouldn’t understand why she was asking this of Hawk’s boys. Because his pain of losing his family was still so raw inside his chest. Though she knew he carried loyalty, it was a big ask of anyone to take a life without knowing the full facts of the situation. Capone was still a very angry man deep inside though he hid it well. A sad man who kept such a lot locked in his ruined heart.

  She smiled at him gently and shook her head.

  The phone clasped in her hand vibrated and lit up a message from the man himself. Her heart constricted like a cobra crush. Almost as if he could sense her subterfuge from all the way across town. God, she hated lying to him.

  Hawk: On my way back into town. Duck or beef for dinner, little bit?

  Gia: You choose, baby. Ride safe and come home to me. I love you so much. Xoxo

  Because he wanted her to go to him with every little issue she might have fabricated needing something from Fort Springs for her office. He’d been only too happy to go for her, further cementing Gia in guilt.

  “That’s all I can share, Capone.” She answered finally. “It’s deeply personal for Hawk, if he wants to tell you all he can. Again, I say I wouldn’t be bringing this to you if there was another way. But I want her dead.”

  “So, she’s a bitch then? Why hasn’t Hawk done the deed?”

  “Because it’s his damn mom, you idiot.” Snake sucked through his teeth answering Tag. “Bitch or not, still blood, that’s gotta be tough.”

  She didn’t want to tell the men Hawk avoided being around that woman at all costs.

  To Rider she said. “Thanks, guys for your time. As I said I’m going to insist you don’t speak of a word of what was said here. Do you think you can give my brother and Lawless the room for a minute? Is that alright, Rider?”

  Perhaps for the first time in their lives Gia could see she’d rendered those hard-worn men stupefied. They left muttering and mostly silent. It was Capone who stopped at her side. Laid a hand on hers, dark eyes penetratingly deep. “If this is for Hawk then I know it’s important, bomboncita. But be safe. Know what you are doing. I’ll say a prayer for him and for you.” He kissed Gia on the forehead leaving her with Lawless and Rider.

  Gia didn’t feel any less sick ten minutes later after details were discussed and both men asked her repeatedly if this was what she truly wanted.

  For Hawk.

  Yes.

  Her answer would continuously be yes.

  ******

  As Lawless expertly filled the syringe with hardly an inch from the top to spare with A-grade heroin bought only an hour ago from his old dealer of all people, he was hit with a nostalgic blast from the past. If he were the type to look back and dwell all starry eyed he would be knee deep in memories of his darker days stoned out of his mind on some sticky motel room floor waiting for the next high and the next and the next.

  As it was, he couldn’t give a fuck to look back at his less than finer days.

  He’d rode for hours for one reason only and it wasn’t to get maudlin over seeing a man who sold him pills and coke when he wasn’t even legal enough to buy liquor.

  Fucking dealers, no shame at all.

  Ah, whatya gonna do. Once a bad boy, always a bad boy, his nana would have said, if the old crone wasn’t pushing up worms in a cemetery o
ut west.

  He knew all about mothers.

  Those rancid, deviant bitches.

  He didn’t have Hawk’s problems, poor bastard.

  But demented mothers? He knew all too well the shit storms they could cause. Hey, momma, fuck you.

  It was easy to break into the ramshackle of an apartment. She lived in the basement of a seven-story building. The window popped open like melted glue.

  Silly fools with their trusting nature assuming no fucker would climb in through the window.

  Surprise, bitches.

  “Who the hell are you?” A nasally voice shouted followed by a hacking cough that sounded like the bitch was already a step toward death.

  If only he had the time to let mother nature do her glorious thing and drag the whore to her grave naturally.

  With a smile on his face, like he was visiting for a Sunday brunch, he stepped into the foul stench of a living room to see a slenderly built woman in a dressing gown and slippers chain smoking next to an overflowing ashtray and a row of beer cans.

  Such class.

  “I ain’t got no money if you’re here to rob me.” She said matter of fact, plumes of smoke surrounding her scraped back hair bun. Fingers nicotine stained.

  He could see Hawk in her around the eyes. Would be awkward as fuck, he thought, to break into the wrong house.

  “Colton sent me.”

  Her eyes lit up. “My boy sent you, did he? He always did take care of his old mom. I been tryna get hold of him for days.”

  Lawless pushed the debris from the small coffee table onto the floor. She was too busy staring at him with a mix of fear and interest to bother about the shit on the floor on top of all her other shit.

  Gotta love addicts. Some mean looking bastard breaks in, makes himself comfortable and not one word said about the cops.

  Lawless parked his ass, pulling his duster coat around his legs, leaned forward resting arms to his knees and held out a flat palm with the syringe balancing in the middle.

  “W-what’s this?”

  “I think you can recognize candy when you see it. Take it.”