Anna had not spoken other than to ask him those questions. What was she thinking? Would she marry him even though he had committed against another woman the same sin that scarred her life?
“David, I think we are making a muddle out of this again. We are so busy living our mistakes and trying to make amends to everyone else, that we are not forgiving the one person who can let go of the past.”
He smiled then. It was exactly what they were doing. “I can’t forgive myself.”
“Clarinda said once that I should let the past remain where it is and focus on the more difficult task of making a life to move away from it. I do love you, David, and if you are willing, I would like to try to live for the better part of ourselves instead of the worst.”
“Anna, there is one more thing you need to know before you give your consent to this.” He paused and looked at the door, for he heard the noises outside the office that foretold of the arrival of several people.
“Just as Treybourne and Goodfellow sought a truce, I want no more explanation, clarifications or rationalizations. We will have time for all of those later.”
“No, Anna, this is more along the lines of an introduction.”
The words were no sooner out than Nathaniel burst through the door, followed by Lesher and the same men who had tried to stop him the first time. The effect was ruined when Julia and Maddy skipped around them and into the room, making it a crowded and loud chamber. The introduction he had planned for so long and agonized over how to tell Anna about her was blown to bits when Julia called out his name and Maddy called him “Papa.”
Nathaniel whined about losing Anna. Julia screamed about David joining her family. Maddy simply held on to Anna and did not say a word. In an instant, he had gone from single man, to husband of one, father of one and brother to another, and nothing could have pleased him more.
Chapter Twenty-two
The wedding, although accomplished in some haste, took too long for him. It was a small, intimate gathering of friends and some of the bride’s family and it took place in the morning room of their new house on the east side of the New Town. The sun shone, a miracle he did not yet believe could occur here in Edinburgh, and the beams of light danced around them as they made their promises before God and witnesses.
The girls had gone ahead with Lord and Lady MacLerie to their Highland estate, and that was their destination as soon as they had a brief private journey. He decided on the hunting box and now they sat in the large, comfortable and well-appointed coach of the Earl of Treybourne.
Leather covered the thick seat cushions and their padding made the journey over the roads north of the city in the Cairngorm Mountains a more pleasant one. It was his constant state of arousal that made each mile feel like twenty. He had planned to wait until they reached their destination for the night before touching her, but Anna had other ideas.
“Do you remember your hesitation to ride in a closed coach with me?”
“I was protecting your reputation, Anna.”
“I have heard,” she said, as she placed her hand on his thigh. His body hardened and surged against his pantaloons. “I have heard that great liberties can be taken in a closed carriage. Is it true, Lord Treybourne?”
“It is true, Lady Treybourne. And perhaps on the next part of our journey, I might demonstrate a few of them for you?”
Anna laughed at his suggestion, but her nod got him thinking of all sorts of liberties he would take with her, once she was his.
But he knew that something inside of him worried about the consummation of their vows. After all, she was not a virgin, he knew, but he knew nothing of how it had been accomplished and if she carried any hesitation about it. Or if using that part of him that was larger and more insistent would hurt her when he lost himself in the chaos of passion?
“You are thinking too much again, David.”
“I am worried that it might be difficult for you when we…do…”
“Do you love me?” she asked him. “If you do, I have no fear of what is to happen.”
“Did it hurt you?” He stammered out the words but could not complete the sentence.
“Clarinda says that—”
“I do not want to think about Clarinda when I am making you mine tonight, Anna. Please do not mention her name.”
Anna laughed then and it was the most marvelous sound he’d ever heard. He drew her into his arms and opened the window coverings so that the daylight brightened the carriage and they could see the passing scenery.
To take his mind off the thought of Clarinda telling his wife of private matters of connubial felicity, he decided to tell her himself. One thing led to another and by the time they reached the hunting box, he discovered that he was just as affected by the plan and did not want to wait for the night. As though they knew, and they should have since it was their marriage trip, the servants disappeared as soon as they arrived and David was able to persuade, convince, cajole and seduce Anna into bed in the middle of the afternoon.
Shy about proceeding in the daylight, he closed the curtains around the bed, a throwback to an earlier time, and allowed her the shadows. It did not lessen his ardor or hers, and soon their clothes were gone, and they lay naked against each other.
“You are worrying.”
“I—”
“David, join with me now,” she urged.
She did worry, but his own concern eased hers. She knew he would have a care of her and that not even the mindless passion that seemed to envelop them when the touching and the kissing drove them mad frightened her now. There was an ache deep inside her, one that eased with the pleasure he gave her, but was not satisfied.
Part of her yearned for that completion, another part hoped it would never be fulfilled, that each time they shared the passion of their marriage, whether in bed or not, she would want it again and again. David seemed pleased by the way she let him control her body, and she wanted to give him back some measure of the happiness and joy he’d brought to her life.
She knew what to expect. The first time had not been so long ago that she could not remember it, but nothing was as it had been that time. Although she did not voice her true worry, she was concerned that she would not please him because of that other time. Now, as his body demanded its own satisfaction, she guided him between her thighs and to the place that still throbbed from the touch of his hands and his mouth just moments ago.
David brought her to fulfillment then and as she let her legs fall apart so that he could move closer, Anna felt him press his fullness against her and heard him whisper his love. He thrust his hardness deep within her, even against her womb, but there was no pain, just a fullness that felt wonderful. He moved then, lifting her hips with his hand beneath her bottom and sliding as far inside as he could. He moved in and back, pushing faster and harder and deeper with each thrust.
The sensation that built within her was different than the frantic one he caused with his fingers touching that spot between her legs. This time, with his arousal planted deep, removed and thrust in again and again, she grabbed for the bedcovers and moaned. It was deep, he was deep and it felt as though he rubbed against a place that itched with need. More and more, she felt the tension growing and she raised her hips to keep in rhythm with his movements.
Then, just when she had almost convinced herself that this was as pleasurable as it could be, her body tightened and exploded, tightened and exploded and arched as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. Then with a final thrust against the very center of her, she felt his release and heard his cry of passion, too.
A short time passed and they lay with their bodies still joined. Anna could not keep a thought in her head, she could only feel the results of his loving. She ached and throbbed in places she did not know she had. Her legs and arms felt as if she had done two days of laundry herself. But her heart was lighter and happier than it had been in a long time.
“Are you well?” he whispered. She could hear the concern the
re.
“I am well,” she said. “David, I feel healed by the love you shared.”
He reached over and took her hand and placed it on his chest, over his own heart. “And you have helped me to heal as well, my sweet Anna.”
And somewhere in the night, their old wounds and pains, their war of words became a thing of their past and they made plans on how to share the rest of their lives with each other.
Epilogue
Edinburgh, 1819
“It’s here, Anna,” he called out as he entered the Gazette’s office. “Is she in there, Lesher?”
“Aye, sir. I just left her sitting at the desk.”
The door down the hall opened and he watched as his wife waddled down the corridor toward him. Her pregnancy was advanced now and it would not be long before they had a son to halt Robert’s unstinting boasting about producing the best son in Edinburgh. Or perhaps it would be a girl, with soft brown eyes and a gentle smile? He only knew that whatever they were blessed with, he would give thanks to the Almighty for and spend his life taking care of.
“Here, love,” he said. “I should have come to you.” He guided her to a chair and handed her the magazine. “Do you remember how you ended the last one? Look how he copied you!”
In spite of her initial disbelief and even resistance, David had taken over the role of Mr. Goodfellow. He did not use the information he’d threatened to, but his essays were “written with the perspective of an insider” as his newest opponent complained. If anyone ever discovered the new identity of the reformist Scottish magazine’s lead writer, word never spread.
They’d agreed to share the job since Anna truly enjoyed it, but soon, with the personal demands of a family and husband, the teaching duties at the school and her oversight of some of the charities they supported, she allowed him to write most of them. Certain subjects when raised were her special concerns and David would sit at night and watch the words come to her in a torrent.
She smiled so he knew she was pleased. She was not easily satisfied for she always wanted it to be more or better than the last, so David laughed. “You goaded the puir mon, as Mrs. Dobbs would say, into an unfair fight, Anna. This was only his third issue.”
The first two had lasted six months and four and he had not told her that Cunningham only lasted that long because his first two essays were handed to him, completed before David had come north. This third man showed every sign of being the worthy opponent they needed to keep their issues in the public eye. The success of their magazine continued to grow as did the school and an orphanage. And his wife.
“What did Clarinda say about your symptoms?” he asked. He admired the woman’s no-nonsense approach to childbearing and encouraged Anna to consult the same midwife who had attended her.
“I cannot believe you quote her as you do.”
“Nor can I, but she does seem to know a great deal about it. And if it helps you when your time, the time, comes, I am grateful.”
“So,” Anna said, using her husband’s hand to aid her in standing next to him, “before you write this next rebuttal, I have to tell you something that may help you.”
“May help me?”
“Or it may hinder you. I was not privy to how it worked the last time.”
With her eclectic and wide-ranging areas of interest, he could not imagine what she wanted to tell him. “This is intriguing.” He moved closer and she still pulled him down so that his ear was close to her mouth.
“How will you feel if you, the Earl of Treybourne, are beaten by another woman?” she whispered.
The information sank in and he was shocked by her suggestion. “A woman? It cannot be. How do you know? Or are you guessing?”
“I just thought I should warn you that your father is a quick study.”
He looked at the essay again and then at his wife. Could she be correct? Who better to recognize the work of another of her gender? He laughed now as he realized it was possible.
“Perhaps there’s hope for him yet?”
“There is hope for everyone. You taught me that.”
David looked about him and knew that she had taught and given him more than he could ever repay. But he would continue to try every day of the rest of his life.
Author’s Note
The early eighteenth century saw the beginning of great changes for Edinburgh, known as the “Athens of the North.” Although the capital of the newly formed Union after 1707 was London, Edinburgh remained a center of power and influence in Scotland through the 18th and 19th centuries. When the population increased and the need for residential space soared in the early 1700s, a bold new plan of expansion was introduced. Eventually a new part of Edinburgh was built over the drained marshlands to the north of the existing royal burgh. The New Town, designed by James Craig in a balanced, grid-iron format, soon became the center of culture and wealth.
The architecture had an underlying uniformity to it and Robert Adams’s palace-front design became a much-copied innovation. With a square to its east (St. Andrew’s) and west (St. George’s, later renamed Charlotte’s), New Town boasted of evenly laid streets and both private residences and public buildings. Properties were “feued” much like medieval land where the owner paid an annual fee in gold, grain or service for the right to hold it. Many public buildings, such as the Assembly Rooms, were funded by taxes or by subscription fees.
Building the New Town took decades and it happened in several stages, beginning with St. Andrew’s Square and finishing with St. George’s. Most construction took place from 1767 and was completed in 1820—just in time for the visit of the former Prince Regent and now King George IV to Edinburgh in 1822. Outside influences, such as the American Revolution and the Napoleonic Wars, slowed building as well as the occasional lack of financial support.
While the Old Town remained the business, financial and industrial center of Scotland, the New Town became the center of wealth and culture. Now, almost two centuries later, many of its buildings have been restored and No. 7 Charlotte Square is a wonderful example of the city in its prime.
For more information about Georgian Edinburgh, visit the National Trust for Scotland’s Web site at www.nts.org.uk. For the purposes of my novel, I did speed up some of the construction in the New Town since I needed certain sections finished before they actually were.
The other thing that burgeoned were the publications for mostly political reasons, and two of the leading ones centered in Edinburgh were Blackwood’s Magazine and The Edinburgh Review. This was also the beginnings of formal book reviews.
Unfortunately, the authors suffered for their political and social views as well as the quality (or lack of) in their writing. Reviewers tore apart novelists, poets and even other essayists based solely on with whom they spent their time and whether they were identified with the Whig or Tory party, with little time spent on the content of the work. Anyone believing that nasty reviews or contentious exchanges in publications are a modern invention should find a copy of Blackwood’s at their nearest reference library or online and take a look. Writing and being reviewed, even in the 1800s, was not for the faint of heart!
ISBN: 978-1-4268-7851-0
THE EARL’S SECRET
Copyright © 2007 by Theresa S. Brisbin
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