Unbreakable

by Jennifer Lazaris

I draw in a sharp breath and squeeze my eyes shut. This is all I’ve ever wanted to hear, but it’s wrapped in so much pain and hurt that I don’t even know what to do with it.

  I take a step toward her. “Em—”

  “No,” she says firmly and holds up a hand. “You need to figure out what you want from me. Then we can talk. And if you don’t want me the same way that I want you, then I promise I’ll find a way to deal with it if you ever want to be friends again. But I can’t do this with you right now. I’m sorry.”

  Before I can blink, she dashes down the alleyway and disappears from view.

  I sag back against the cold brick wall, completely overwhelmed and emotionally drained.

  I knew she was physically attracted to me, and I knew she wasn’t ready for the sex to come to an end. But I didn’t know she had real, genuine feelings for me. Feelings that went beyond our close friendship.

  Or maybe deep down I did know, but I was too fucking afraid to acknowledge it. Admitting that to myself would have made it impossible for me to walk away.

  All I know is that if I don’t do something soon, I’m going to lose her before I ever get a chance to have her. I’ve lost way too much in my life already to allow it to happen again. I need to fix this now.

  Dylan and Axel walk into the alleyway and stop short when they see me.

  “Hey,” Axel says, his eyebrows raised. “We just wanted to check on you. The girls left in a hurry. Emmy didn’t look too hot.” He frowns. “Mav, are you all right?”

  “No, I’m not,” I mutter, yanking my toque down over my messy hair. “Where’s Sully right now?”

  “Probably at home,” Dylan replies.

  I pull my keys from my coat pocket. “Good. I need to talk to him. I’ll see you guys later.”

  Axel grabs me by the arm. “Will, I don’t think going over there is a good idea.”

  “You know what? I don’t care. He’s going to talk to me, or we’re going to beat each other to a bloody pulp. One way or another, this bullshit ends tonight.”

  Axel and Dylan exchange nervous glances.

  “Want us to go with you?” Dylan asks.

  “No. I need to do this alone.”

  Axel gives me a long, hard look. “Does Emmy mean this much to you, Mav? Is she worth all of this?”

  I nod curtly. “She means fucking everything to me, okay?”

  “All right, then.” Axel claps me on the back. “Go fight for your girl.”

  Dylan gives me a shove as I walk past him. “Text us later and let us know you’re alive, Romeo.”

  Axel snorts with laughter, and I give them both the finger as I walk toward the parking lot.

  “Actually, you might want to text Sully later,” I call over my shoulder. “He’s the one you should be worried about.”

  Tonight, I’m not backing down. Sully’s going to listen to me whether he wants to or not.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  WILL

  When I arrive at Sully’s condo, I manage to catch the front door as an older woman exits the building. This means he doesn’t have to buzz me up, which he’d never do anyway.

  During the elevator ride up to the eighteenth floor, I pace back and forth. There’s absolutely no way to predict how this will go down, but I hope I can reach the part of him that remembers how tight we were. How tight we can still be, if he can only get past all of this.

  I swallow down the acid rising in my throat and knock.

  “Yeah, yeah, hold up,” Sully calls. I hear footsteps shuffle across the hardwood floor. Then: “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

  He throws open the front door and fixes me with a glare. “What the ever loving fuck do you want, Maverick?”

  “You gonna let me in?”

  “Oh, by all means,” he says sarcastically. He sweeps his arm out in an elaborate gesture. “Please, come inside my condo. I mean, you’ve already come inside of my sister, right?”

  “Don’t ever say shit like that to me when it comes to Emmy. Do you understand me, Sully?” My voice holds an unmistakable warning. “Your insult might be meant for me, but it’s completely fucking disrespectful to her.”

  Sully gives me a long hard look, but damn if I don’t see a tiny spark of admiration in his eyes. Besides, if those words had come out of anyone else’s mouth but his own, he would have belted them right in the jaw, and he knows it.

  He turns away and walks over toward the couch as I pull off my toque and coat. “Since I obviously need to repeat myself, let me get right to it. What the fuck do you want?”

  I toss my stuff down on the love seat, grab the remote from the coffee table, and turn off the television.

  “I want to talk to you. Or fight with you. Whatever way this goes, we’re getting it all out in the open right now, because I’m tired of dealing with this shit. I saw Emmy tonight.”

  He narrows his eyes. “What do you mean, you saw her? What, are you guys secretly dating, Maverick? I didn’t think—”

  I slam my hand down on the coffee table. “Sully, shut the fuck up and let me talk! Jesus H. Christ!”

  He glares and crosses his arms, but at least he stops talking.

  “I was out at Glyka tonight with Dylan and Axel. Emmy came in with Peyton and Violet.” I pause for a moment. “She’s a mess, Sully.”

  “Well, that’s your own fucking fault, genius,” he snaps. “If you would have kept your goddamn hands to yourself, she wouldn’t be like this.”

  I rub my jaw and give a curt nod. “Maybe not. But you need to know something, Sully. How I feel about Emmy isn’t new.”

  He frowns. “What the hell does that mean?”

  “Exactly what you think it means,” I say calmly. “Emmy… she was there for me when my parents died. She was there for me like no one else ever was.”

  “Are you saying I wasn’t? I came over. I called you. I texted.”

  “No, I’m not saying that,” I tell him honestly. “But come on, Sul, you don’t deal with heavy stuff all that well. I know you meant well, but it was awkward as fuck. You didn’t know what to say, and I needed to talk to someone. That someone ended up being Emmy.”

  He doesn’t say anything, so I continue.

  “We got pretty close after that, and I guess I started looking at her differently later that year. But I never acted on it, Sully. Not one damn time.”

  “So what! Do you want a fucking medal for keeping your dick in your pants all of those years?” He clenches his fists. “She’s my goddamn sister. We’ve all known each other forever. I thought you saw her as a sister, too.” He looks away and shakes his head. “Fuck, Mav.”

  “Well, I don’t. I don’t see her that way at all. And when she asked me to be her summer hookup, I resisted for as long as I could. You know why? Because I value our friendship, Sully.”

  “Yeah right,” he mutters.

  “Jesus Christ. Would you put yourself in my place for a minute? The girl of your dreams asks you to be her distraction for the summer. Asks you to hook up. What would you do?”

  He snorts and tosses his hair out of his eyes. “It doesn’t matter what I’d do. What matters is what you did.”

  Sully might be acting all tough, but I know damn well what he’d do, and he knows it, too.

  He grabs his beer from the coffee table and slams it back before looking over at me. “If you could go back and change it all, would you?”

  I shake my head slowly. “If I could change one thing, I wouldn’t have gone behind your back. That was wrong. But other than that, no. I wouldn’t change anything else.”

  “Did you sleep with her?” he asks bluntly.

  I don’t answer.

  Regardless of what Sully thinks he needs to know, that information is between Emmy and me and no one else. I don’t need to say anything, anyway. He already knows the answer to the question. He just doesn’t like it.

  “Oh, fuck.” He sighs and scrubs a hand down his face. “Fuck, Mav.”

  “Ask yourself something, Sul
ly. Have I ever bragged about what I’ve done with a woman to you or our friends? You of all people know I’m not out there screwing puck bunnies every night. And when I did sleep with a woman when I was on the road, it was pretty rare. You know this. You bug me about it all the time. So if you could pick any guy for Emmy, it should be me. It should be me, Sully. You know I’m going to respect her.”

  “I hear you, okay?” he says reluctantly. “I hear you.”

  It’s a small victory, but I’ll take it.

  We sit in silence for a few minutes before he speaks again.

  “Okay, you guys hooked up over the summer,” he grumbles. “So why don’t you just walk away now? Just let it go, man. Agree to be friends and move the fuck on.”

  “I can’t. I love her, Sul.”

  Sully’s head snaps up, and his eyes go wide. “What?”

  “You heard me the first time. I love her.”

  “Wait,” He leans forward, his hands on his knees. “Does she know that?”

  “No, and don’t you fucking tell her, either,” I warn. “That needs to come from me at the right time. If she ever talks to me again,” I say glumly.

  “Why wouldn’t she?”

  “Because she’s totally pissed at me. I’ve blown her off for two straight months. I hoped that if I broke off contact with her, I could finally get over her. I went about everything all wrong, and I hurt her. I need to find a way to fix it. It kills me to see her so upset.”

  I look over to find him staring at the floor, lost in his own thoughts.

  “Me coming here is part of that fix, Sully. I want to put things right between us, but if you aren’t on board with me seeing your sister, that’s too fucking bad. I’m not blowing my chance with Emmy. She makes me happy, and I think I deserve some fucking happiness in my life. So does she.”

  He glances over at me and downs the rest of his beer. “Well, I guess you’ve done what you came for then. You’ve had your say.”

  I stand and pull on my coat and hat. “You need to realize that this isn’t about you. Don’t make us choose between you and being happy. No one wins that way. Not you, not me, and not Emmy.”

  When he doesn’t answer, I try one last time to make him see reason.

  “I know what it’s like to lose everyone I love, Sully, and I don’t want to lose anyone else. There’s going to be no one left.”

  He glances up at me, and I see a flash of regret on his face.

  I nod goodnight and step out into the hallway, closing the door behind me.

  As I ride down to the ground floor in the elevator, I feel fifty pounds lighter. I’ve laid everything on the line, and if he can’t accept it, there’s nothing else I can do.

  But I won’t let anyone stand in the way of my happiness anymore. I’ve spent too long denying myself a fundamental human right—love. I can’t do it anymore.

  Now, the only thing left to do is figure out a way to make things right with Emmy.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  EMMY

  My phone begins to ring while I’m in the middle of filming a comparison video on bronzers. Damn. I got so engrossed in what I was doing I forgot to mute it.

  It’s been exactly one week since I saw Will at Glyka, and like a true Sullinger, I’ve buried myself in my work to try and forget my heartbreak. Minus the SpongeBob pajamas. This time, it’s Powerpuff Girls. Peyton has threatened to come over and burn this pair, too. I hit the pause button on my camera and grab my phone.

  Sully’s name flashes across the screen. Ugh. He’s the last person I want to talk to right now.

  I jab at the answer button. “What?” I snap.

  “Well, hello there to you too, little sis.”

  I sigh and flop onto my bed. “I’m right in the middle of filming a video. I don’t have time to fight with you, Sully.”

  “What’s the video about?”

  I pause. My brother’s never asked me anything about my channel or my videos before.

  “I’m doing a comparison video on bronzers.”

  I can almost hear the wheels turning in his head. He has no idea what the heck a bronzer is. I’d stake my life on it.

  “Oh, okay. Well, how’s that going?”

  “As much as I appreciate this new-found interest in my work, how about you just get to the point of this call?”

  “Will got called up by the Toronto Wolverines.”

  “What?” I shriek and jump up from the bed. “Oh my God! Are you serious? When? How?”

  Sully’s growing impatient with my questions—I can tell by how he’s breathing into the phone—but I don’t care. This is huge. Huge.

  The Wolverines are the big time. They’re national. You can’t get to a higher level of hockey. Both Will and Sully have two-way contracts, so they can be called up to the Wolverines at any time during the season. This is the first time Will’s ever been called up.

  “Tomorrow. One of the team’s forwards went out with an upper body injury.”

  As happy as I am for Will, I’m hit with sudden, crushing sadness when I realize his parents won’t be there to see the culmination of their son’s years of dedication and hard work. And after what went down between us at Glyka, I likely won’t make the list of people Will’s going to call and share his good news with, either.

  “Listen, Em, I need to come over tonight and talk to you about something, okay? It can’t wait anymore. It’s really important.”

  I haven’t had much contact with my brother since the night Will left the cottage, other than a few brief texts and two tense phone calls.

  “I’m not looking to argue,” he adds. “No fighting, I promise. No lecturing, either. I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important. C’mon, Sis. Please?”

  This is completely out of character for Sully. He’s not the type to want to have serious talks, and he’s certainly not the type to say “please.”

  Even though he’s wrong about Will and handled the whole situation like total crap, he’s still my brother, and I love his stupid, overbearing ass.

  “Okay. I’m almost finished filming anyway. What’s so important that it can’t wait?” I ask, curiously.

  “I have to talk to you about Will.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  WILL

  The music is pumping as I sit at my stall inside of the Toronto Wolverines locker room. My new teammates mill around, talking and getting ready for tonight’s game against Ottawa.

  None of this even seems real to me right now, to be honest. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if my alarm starts ringing and I find out that I’ve dreamed the whole thing. I’ve felt like this since getting a call from our GM yesterday. It’s completely surreal.

  “How are you doing? You ready for tonight, kid?”

  I look up to see John Breaker, the Wolverines captain and one of the best forwards ever to play this game, standing in front of me.

  It’s funny to have him call me “kid,” especially since he’s only three or four years older than me. But he’s been in this league since he was eighteen, so he’s certainly earned the right.

  “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  Ready to puke my guts out on the floor from nerves, but other than that, I’m good.

  He gives me a knowing grin. “Relax. You’ve got this, Maverick.” He taps my skates with the end of his stick before turning and walking back to his stall.

  I hope he’s right, because I’ve been preparing for this my entire life. Though I doubt I’ll see a lot of ice time, I’m anxious to get going. The moment my skates hit the ice for that first shift will be frozen in my mind forever.

  I’d give anything for my parents to be here and see that moment. They were nothing but supportive of my dream to play hockey professionally, and we’d often joke about what they’d do when they saw me play in my first big league game.

  My mom said she’d make a big sign and hold it up during warmups to embarrass me. My dad vowed to get a customized jersey with my name and number on it to wear for that
first game.

  In reality, my mom would’ve forgotten to hold up the sign and cried her eyes out instead, while my dad stood proudly by, bragging to everyone that it was his kid down there on the ice. I remember telling Emmy about their plans. She’d said that my dad would’ve snuck in cigars to pass around to everyone sitting nearby. Not that he could’ve lit one during the game, but she probably wasn’t far off the mark. My dad loved his cigars.

  The fact that I’m playing for the Toronto Wolverines makes these memories even more emotional for me. Not many people get to make their professional debut for their hometown team. I grew up watching the Wolverines with my family. Saturday nights at my house were for hockey, and we’d never miss a Toronto game. Mom would always make popcorn for us, while Dad would sit in his big chair, cigar in one hand, can of beer in the other.

  I really miss them.

  Axel and Dylan and a few of my other teammates will be here at the game tonight cheering me on since the Smoke has the night off. And while I’m grateful to them for being here, it’s just not the same as having family in the stands.

  That’s the one thing about having parents who don’t have any extended family. When they pass away, you have no one left. All four of my grandparents died when I was small, and I’m not close to my dad’s brother, Charlie. I haven’t seen him since my parents’ funeral three years ago. I sent him a text that I was playing tonight but never heard back. Not that I expected to.

  The two people I wish could be here tonight are Em and Sully. But since I’m probably their least favorite person right now, I decided not to ask them to come. Besides, it would have been awkward and painful to invite them and then have them not show up.

  I haven’t talked to Sully much since that night at his apartment a week ago, but thankfully, he’s stopped being a total dick. He also acknowledges me at practice now, so at least that’s progress.

  I figured a week was a good amount of time to wait and let things cool down before approaching Emmy again. I was planning to go and see her yesterday, but then I got news of my call up. After that, I was emotionally overloaded and running on adrenaline. I decided it was best just to get through tonight and approach her once everything calmed down.