The Worst Kind of Monsters

by Elias Witherow

  He looked at me and nodded. “Yeah, basically.”

  “Shit, man…I don’t know what to say.”

  “Of course you don’t; all you like to do it prick ’em with that knife,” he laughed suddenly. “One of these days I’ll get you to join me in the fun.”

  I waved him away. “Keep trying, keep trying. You know I don’t care for that.”

  “Oh, I know. Don’t think I don’t see you leaving when the going gets good. Can’t handle it? Does it bother you? Getting squeamish?” he teased.

  I rolled my eyes. “No. I just don’t really care to watch some of the shit you do. Especially when you start getting mad. Does it offend you when I leave?”

  He chuckled. “Not really. Most the time I’m so into it I don’t realize you’re gone until later. Still, I think you’re growing a soft spot.”

  I grabbed my crotch. “This is the only soft spot I have for you, you bastard.”

  We both laughed and he went to grab us more beer. As he passed me one and sat back down, he licked his lips and spoke, suddenly serious.

  “Look, dude. I want to get another one.”

  I coughed up a mouthful of beer. “Jesus, already?!” I sputtered. “It’s only been a week, man; why don’t we let things settle a bit? Have you seen the news? That kid’s dad was a big deal! Everyone and their mother is looking for dear ol’ Edward right now!”

  He waved a hand dismissively. “They’ll never find him. They never find any of them. Look,” he said, scooting forward in his chair, “I already scouted out someone. I’ll grab them tomorrow, bring them to the warehouse, and no one will know. You can meet me there after work.”

  “It’s too soon,” I said, shaking my head. “No fucking way.” Daniel formed two fists, his voice dropping. “Come on, dude, it’ll be fine.”

  “We need things to cool down!” I argued, throwing my hands up.

  Daniel stood up suddenly, his whole body trembling. “I need this. You don’t understand. I fucking need this right now, OK? I’ll be at the warehouse with a new friend. Can I count on you to be there?”

  I sighed, looking at my friend towering above me. “All right, man…all right. Just settle down.”

  A dark smile split his face. “Wonderful.”

  “What’s this poor sap’s name?” I asked.

  “Andrew.”

  I raised my beer. “Enjoy your last night, Andrew, wherever you are.”

  2. ANDREW

  I turned my car off, the night air cool as I stepped out into the chirping darkness. A breeze shook the trees and their branches reached out and stroked the warehouse. Daniel’s car was already here. I checked my phone as I walked inside and saw it was almost midnight. I fished out a small flashlight from my pocket and clicked it on.

  I made my way through the empty iron graveyard, listening to the wind howl through the building. It created noises that made me look over my shoulder. I saw light coming from the bottom of the stairs and I made my way down.

  Daniel was sitting on the couch, playing with his phone. His face lit up when he saw me.

  “There you are! I was starting to worry!” He hopped up and waved his hand to the middle of the room. “May I present our guest for the evening…Andrew.”

  A bag was over the man’s head, but I could tell from his body type and grunts that Andrew was probably in his forties, slightly overweight, and poor. He wore a cheap button-up shirt and dirty khakis, with worn loafers on his feet. Hearing Daniel speak, he began to struggle against the ropes that held him to the chair.

  “You gag this one, too?” I asked, crossing my arms and assessing the soon-to-be corpse.

  “Yeah, he’s got a set of lungs on him. Figured I’d shut him up until you got here.”

  I walked over to the man and pulled the bag off his head. Andrew was balding and his bright blue eyes blazed up at me with sharp terror. He was confused, scared, and desperate to get away. I patted him on the head.

  “Settle down, big boy.”

  I went and took my familiar seat on the couch, watching Daniel. He was over at his workbench scrounging through his tools. He eventually settled on the baseball bat resting against the side. He tucked it under his armpit and took a stance behind Andrew, resting his hands on the man’s shoulders.

  “You’re trembling,” he noted. He reached around and pulled out the gag. Andrew coughed and ran his tongue over his cracked lips.

  “You don’t have to do this,” he said, his voice higher than I expected. “Whatever it is you think you need to do, you don’t. We can talk this out. Whatever you want, I’ll get it for you.”

  Daniel rubbed the man’s shoulders, working out the knots. “Oh, calm down. You don’t even know why you’re here, do you?”

  Andrew shook his head, staring at me, shrugging away from Daniel’s hands.

  Daniel gave him one last squeeze, then went and stood in front of him. He put his hands in his pockets, the baseball bat poking out from his armpit.

  “You’re scared, aren’t you?” He asked. Andrew nodded, his eyes widening at the sight of the Louisville Slugger.

  Daniel looked down at it, then back at Andrew. “Does this scare you?”

  Another nod.

  “Do you think I’m going to beat you with it? Is that why it scares you?”

  Andrew said nothing.

  Daniel took the bat in his hands and pressed the end of it into Andrew’s chest. “I asked you a fucking question.”

  Andrew licked his lips. “Yes. Please…what’s this about? Why are you doing this? I have a son, a little boy, he’s going to wonder where I am.”

  Daniel squatted down, never breaking eye contact. “You love him? Your son?”

  “Yes, of course, he’s everything to me. I need to get back to him, he’s going to be scared without me, he needs his father!” Andrew cried, his voice shaking. I couldn’t blame him. I’d be shitting my pants if I were in his place.

  “I could go get him,” Daniel said casually. “Bring him here. Would you like that?”

  Andrew’s eyes went wide. “No! No, leave him alone!”

  Daniel looked down, nodding. “Have it your way. I need to ask you something. If I think you’re lying, I’m going to hit you as hard as I can with this bat,” he said, tapping it. “But if I think you’re telling the truth, I’m going to let you go. How’s that sound?”

  Andrew was visibly sweating now, his breath shallow and fast. “Whatever you want.”

  Daniel stood up, looming over his prey. “What scares you the most?”

  The man was quivering and I saw a wet patch spread across his groin.

  “He pissed himself,” I remarked, crossing my legs in front of me.

  Daniel glanced at it and groaned. “Already? Jesus Christ.” He flexed the fingers, gripping the bat. “Why are you pissing yourself? I just asked you a question. I haven’t done anything to you. Now take a deep breath and tell me…what scares you the most?”

  “I-I don’t know!” Andrew cried, his voice cracking. He paused and saw the fire in Daniel’s eyes. He swallowed hard and mumbled, tears spilling onto his chest. “My son. Losing my son.”

  Daniel froze and from behind, it looked like he had turned to stone. The light cast long shadows of his figure that ran across the man tied to the chair. He said nothing. Then, ever so slowly, I saw his hands begin to shake with fury.

  “Well, your son isn’t here, so what else scares you?” Daniel spat.

  “That’s it!” Andrew cried, tears beginning to run down his face. “That’s what scares me the most! I’m telling the truth, you have to believe me!”

  “That’s not the truth I wanted to hear! I can’t do anything with that!” Daniel yelled, his whole body tensing.

  “I did what you asked, now let me go! I beg you!” Andrew sobbed, shrinking away from the pillar of rage that stood before him.

  “Not a fucking chance,” Daniel growled.

  He gripped the bat with both hands and swung it with incredible power. It struck the
man on the shoulder, producing a meaty thunk! Andrew howled, almost falling over from the force, his head cocked back in pain. Daniel moved to the other side and batted another home run to the opposite shoulder.

  “What a fucking waste you are,” Daniel snarled, spinning the bat in his hands. “There’s got to be something else, anything!” He let another one rip, blasting the man in the shin so hard I heard bone crack.

  “What do you love more than your son!?” Daniel screamed. “It’s yourself, isn’t it?! Your image, your status, your body! Right?!” He cracked the man’s other shin, bringing fresh screams. “In the end, we all only care about ourselves! That’s just the way people work! That’s how we survive!”

  Through tears, Andrew looked up at Daniel. “You don’t get it…” Deep breath, labored breath. “Once you have a child, you’d give your life for them…” Another breath, raw and ragged. “Your own life is meaningless! I answered your question, I swear, I answered it honestly, now please stop!”

  Oh you stupid bastard, I thought. That is not what he wanted to hear. I knew Daniel was trying to prod some fear of the flesh from this man, prying him for something he could bring physical pain upon. This man cared more about his son than anything else. And we weren’t about to go and kill a kid. That left Daniel frustrated and murderously angry.

  “You want me to stop?” Daniel whispered, grabbing the man’s sweating face. “You want me to stop? I’ll stop when I break this bat over your body.”

  I lit a cig, watching as Daniel went at him. He didn’t hit his torso or head, knowing that could potentially end Andrew’s life, but instead worked over his legs and arms. I lost count of how many times he hit him. The screams seemed endless, my ears ringing by the time the bat eventually broke.

  Daniel was leaning against the wall, sweating and breathing hard. Andrew was sobbing, rocking back and forth, his broken bones throbbing. He looked like he was going to pass out, so I stood up and slapped him around a bit. When his eyes focused, I nodded and gave him a thumbs-up. If he passed out I was going to have to wait longer for my turn. And with Daniel’s current mood, I wanted to get to it as quickly as possible.

  “Cut his pants off,” Daniel said from behind me.

  I turned, “What? No, you do it. This is your show, man.”

  “Just fucking do it, please?” he said, wiping sweat from his forehead. “Give me a second to catch my breath?”

  Groaning, I went and got my knife. I grabbed the man’s legs and straightened them, causing Andrew to howl as his broken bones shifted. I ignored him, slicing through the fabric at mid-thigh. It took less than a minute. I stood up and inspected my work.

  “Thanks,” Daniel said, going to the workbench and putting the bat down. He picked up a crowbar and a hatchet, weighed them in his hands, then took both. He pulled up a chair and sat down across from Andrew, placing the two tools down on each of his thighs.

  He snapped his fingers in front of Andrew’s face and then pointed at the crowbar and hatchet. “Do you want me to break both your kneecaps or cut off a foot?”

  Andrew collapsed his head onto his chest, weeping, big wet tears rolling down his face. “Please…let me go…please!”

  Daniel slapped him across the face, leaving a red mark. “I asked you what you preferred. If you don’t answer me in five seconds, I’m going to do both.”

  Andrew was rattling out big wet hoarse sobs, snot pouring from his nose. “The foot…just do the foot…please…just let me go home…” he trailed off.

  Daniel stood and threw the hatchet off his lap. He gripped the crowbar with both hands and brought it down with all his might across Andrew’s kneecap.

  I winced, turning away as Andrew’s knee shattered, his leg kicking out in a spasm of excruciating agony. It was the loudest I heard him scream that night. After a few seconds, his howls faded and he blacked out.

  “Goddamn it,” Daniel growled. He grabbed Andrew by the hair and shook his head violently. “Hey, wake the fuck up!” No response. “You piece of shit, you goddamn fucking worthless fuck,” Daniel yelled, storming around to the fridge and pulling a beer out. He smashed the glass neck over the side of the workbench and dumped the brew over Andrew’s face. Andrew stirred and slowly opened his eyes.

  “Don’t you pass out on me again! If you do, I swear to God I’ll find your son, drag his ass here, and rape him in front of you. Do you FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME?!” Daniel screamed, his whole body shaking.

  I sat up on the couch. This wasn’t good…he was losing it. For the first time ever, I felt a slight tingle of fear tickle my spine. I needed to calm him down, get him back under control.

  “Hey, it’s going to happen from time to time,” I said, shrugging.

  Daniel slowly turned his head to me, his eyes wide. “What did you just say to me?”

  I swallowed. “Nothing, man, but he’s going to pass out if you hit him like that. That’s just the human body.”

  Daniel pointed the crowbar at me. “Sit back and shut the fuck up before I break a brick across your fucking face.”

  I did as he said. I realized that my heart was racing. He had never talked to me like that before. Never in all our years of friendship had he ever threatened me. It pissed me off. And it also scared me. I had seen what he was capable of, what he did to people. Best if I just sit back and keep my mouth closed until he was finished.

  Howling with frustration, Daniel broke the man’s other kneecap. Andrew didn’t even scream this time; his head just slumped onto his chest as a sharp pop! announced his new broken bone.

  “God DAMN it!” Daniel yelled, throwing the crowbar onto the workbench. It collided with the other tools and a few of them loudly clattered to the ground.

  “Wake UP you…piece…of…SHIT!” Daniel continued yelling, every word punctuated by a fist to the face. Andrew’s flesh absorbed the blows in silence, fresh cuts forming on his cheeks.

  Daniel suddenly kicked the chair over, howling, shaking, his eyes wild. He kicked Andrew’s motionless face once, twice, three times. Then, still screaming with rage, he crawled on top of him and balled his fists together, bringing them down over Andrew’s nose.

  “You fucking trash! You fucking piece of trash! Wake up so you can watch me kill you!” His voice was ragged, his hair hanging down over his eyes in sweaty clumps.

  I stood up, heart thundering. “Jesus, man, you’re going to kill him, lay off!”

  Daniel snapped his eyes over to mine, a crazed, lost look dancing in them. “Isn’t that the point?” He stood up, his knuckles bloody and raw. “Isn’t that what we do down here?” He took a step toward me. “Or are you afraid you won’t get your turn?” He cocked his head at me, a sick smile growing across his lips. “Well, go ahead…kill him.”

  My heart fluttered. I was hit with nausea deep in my gut. “Just…” I stammered, “just go ahead and do it.”

  Daniel took another step toward me, the madness in his eyes growing as he got closer. “What the fuck did you just say? You want me to do it?”

  I nodded, licking my lips. “Yeah, man, go for it. Just not feeling it tonight. I think you need it more than I do right now.”

  Daniel stood there for a moment, sweating and breathing heavily. Finally he turned away, shaking his head. “How disappointing. You really are going soft.”

  “I’m just not cool with you losing your shit!” I yelled suddenly. “This is exactly what I was talking about!”

  Daniel turned back to me, his eyes cold as winter ice. He spit onto the floor, then turned back to the workbench. Andrew groaned from the floor. Bad time to wake up, I thought, watching Daniel cautiously.

  I heard the rev of a chainsaw.

  Grinning without humor, Daniel turned around, his arms shaking from the idling machine. He revved the blade a few times and watched as Andrew closed his eyes and began to sob again. He knew what was about to happen.

  Daniel walked over to him and placed a foot on his throat.

  “Open your fucking mouth,” he growled.<
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  Christ, I thought, turning away.

  Daniel applied more pressure to Andrew’s throat. “I said open your fucking mouth.”

  Andrew’s face began to turn blue, refusing to do as he was told, trembling with terror.

  “Motherfucker,” Daniel spat.

  He drove the chainsaw down into Andrew’s face, across his eyes. Skull fragments and wet meat erupted in volcanic fashion, spraying Daniel as he smiled, his white teeth shining through the red.

  And he did it slowly.

  I counted to fifteen before Andrew stopped screaming. I turned and saw Daniel kick the top half of his skull across the floor at me.

  “Here’s your cut,” he said, switching off the chainsaw. He wiped blood from his face and pulled out a cig. He walked over to the couch and collapsed into it, lighting up. I didn’t move. I looked at the body, blood gushing from the halved head.

  “Are you happy now?” I said, trying to keep the anger from my voice. I knew it was stupid to get into an argument with him, but I was pissed off.

  He looked up at me, blowing smoke. “It’s not my fault you wimped out, so don’t go throwing your sarcasm at me, fucker.”

  “You’re losing control of yourself,” I said, turning to go. I didn’t want to be around him right now. I was too angry and confused, the dissatisfaction from the whole night crumbling in around me.

  From behind me, Daniel yelled, “You sure it’s not you who’s losing it? Can’t even stab someone anymore? Are you done? Going to walk away from all this now? Go ahead, piss off! Piss off, you weak motherfucker!”

  I said nothing, climbing the stairs as his voice bounced off the walls toward me. He was in a crazed state right now and I didn’t want to deal with it. He was becoming unpredictable and increasingly angry.

  As I reached the top, I heard Daniel below me start screaming and throwing things. I shook my head, walking away from the destruction below. Christ, what a night.

  * * *

  A few days passed, my life returning to the normal drone of a non-killer. The day-to-day that the mass population endured, pressing forward toward the weekend. I got a few texts from Daniel apologizing for his outburst. I sent a couple back, stressing that I was just worried about him. Another day passed and we continued to text, our friendship rebuilding. Guys have a talent for that. We shrug off the bullshit we do to each other and laugh it off over name-calling and high-fives.