The Quest of the DNA Cowboys

by Mick Farren

  At the question, Billy's eyes opened and flickered round. Then he saw where he was and closed them again. Reave coughed and shuffled his feet.

  'A place that goes by the name of Pleasant Gap, Miss.'

  'Is that beyond the water?'

  'Beyond the water and then some.'

  'How wonderful. We meet very few new people here.'

  Reave smiled.

  'Sometimes you can meet too many new people. Perhaps you got to meet our friend the Minstrel Boy. He was leaving town as we were coming in.'

  A.A. Catto frowned politely.

  'I don't recall anyone of that name. Does he come from Pleasant Gap, also?'

  'I don't rightly know where he comes from.'

  Before the conversation could go any further, the door buzzed, and one of the Hostess-1s admitted a Medic, two Stewards and three more Hostesses. A.A. Catto hurried about the room supervising the various operations. She chose ward­robes for Billy and Reave from a design catalogue, she watched as the Steward fitted Reave's chin into a permashave, and stood beside the Medic-1 as he gave Billy a series of shots, and prepared to have him moved. Once the clothes had been ordered and Billy dispatched to his temporary apartment, she sat down next to Reave.

  'Now that's all done, you must take off those ugly clothes and get better acquainted.'

  She patted his knee and smiled. Reave gestured to the two remaining Hostess-1s.

  'What about them?'

  A.A. Catto looked up.

  'What about them? They're here to assist us in any way we want. Unless of course they embarrass you, then I'll send, them away.'

  Reave looked at the two girls appraisingly.

  'No, let 'em stay. They look like they might come in handy.' He stood up and slowly began to strip off his striped suit.

  Before he'd finished, A.A. Catto was already pressing her thin hard body up against his.

  Chapter 34

  Billy could remember very little of what happened after he'd been taken out of the lift. He dimly recalled a strange young girl talking to them. He could remember a figure in white who did something that made the pain stop, but after that every­thing had been a drowsy jumble of dreams and reality. He was carried along corridors, through doors, the images of his grey-uniformed interrogators loomed in front of him. He'd screamed and fought, and then been comforted by visions of blond hair and pink material stretched over firm breasts. A machine that buzzed and gave off violet light was moved over the damaged areas of his body. The figure in white had come and gone. The pink visions had remained to save him from the questions. The column of ghosts had shuffled past. Briefly he had imagined himself in Pleasant Gap, then he had sunk down into a dark warm pit of unconsciousness.

  Chapter 35

  A.A. Catto and Reave lay naked on her huge bed. The ceiling above them was a large glowing mirror. Her reflection smiled down at him and her lips nuzzled his ear.

  'Do you like me, Reave? Do I please you?'

  'Yes, very much.'

  'Do you think I'm beautiful?'

  'Very beautiful.'

  She propped herself up on one elbow.

  'I have a present for you, Reave.'

  'You mean the clothes? They're too much. I've never had clothes like that.'

  A.A. Catto smiled and shook her head.

  'No, not the clothes. Something else.'

  Reave sat up.

  'What is it?'

  'Wait and I'll show you.'

  She called to one of the Hostess-1s.

  'Bring my special present for Mister Reave.'

  They came over to the bed carrying a box made of purple leather. A.A. Catto opened it, and Reave saw, lying on a pad of dark red velvet, a collar that looked as though it would fit round a man's neck. It was made of silver, about three inches wide and decorated with fine gold inlay. Beside it was a tiny ring, its exact miniature. A.A. Catto picked up the collar and snapped it round Reave's neck.

  'There.'

  Reave put his hand to it.

  'It's very pretty. I don't normally wear jewellery.'

  A.A. Catto smiled.

  'You'll wear it for me?'

  Reave stroked her tiny breast.

  'Sure.'

  She slipped the ring on her third finger, and chanted in a childish singsong.

  'The collar for you, and the ring for me.'

  'It was the first time Reave had heard her sound anything like she looked. Her lovemaking was in no way childlike. Reave remembered being surprised by some of the things she'd suggested. His finger fiddled with the fastenings at the back of the collar.

  'I don't seem to be able to get this off.'

  A.A. Catto kissed him.

  'You can't.'

  'I can't?'

  She held up her finger with the ring on it.

  'Only if I want you to. It's controlled from here. I twist the ring one way, and the collar's locked. I twist it the other and it's released.'

  'Can I take it off now? I'm not really used to wearing it.'

  A.A. Catto rolled over and began to play with him.

  'Not yet. It does a lot of other things as well.'

  Chapter 36

  Billy opened his eyes. He was in an unfamiliar room, lying on the largest, most comfortable bed he had ever slept in. One of the pink and blond girls came into his field of vision. She smiled at him.

  'May I help you, Mister Billy?'

  Billy struggled to sit up.

  'I don't know for sure. How long have I been out?'

  'Just over five hours, Mister Billy.'

  Billy stretched, and patted his face with exploratory fingers.

  'I feel amazingly recovered.'

  'The treatment has an almost total success rate.'

  Billy grinned.

  'So it would seem,'

  Another Hostess-1 joined the first one.

  'How may we serve you, Mister Billy?'

  Billy scratched his head. They were both smiling at him so invitingly that he began to wonder if maybe he was still delirious.

  'What can you do for me?'

  They both chorused.

  'Anything you might ask, Mister Billy.'

  'How about some coffee and a cigar?'

  'Certainly, Mister Billy. Shall we both fetch them, or would you like one of us to stay here and entertain you?'

  Billy laughed.

  'Does that mean you tell me jokes or join me in bed?'

  'Whatever you wish, Mister Billy. If you find one of us attractive we are available to serve you in any way.'

  'Yeah?'

  'Of course.'

  'Okay then. Let's do it. One of you go get the breakfast and the other climb in with me.'

  One of the Hostess-1s began to take off her pink tunic while the other went to arrange the food. Billy grinned at the one who was leaving.

  'You can join us when you get through.'

  Chapter 37

  A.A. Catto and Reave were locked together, intertwined, moving furiously against each other. The gasps and groans mingled as their excitement grew and grew. Reave moaned as he felt himself on the verge of orgasm. A.A. Catto opened her eyes and her hand moved to the ring. Reave screamed as the collar sent a violent shock flashing through his nervous system. His spine arched and his body shook in uncontrollable spasms. A.A. Catto dug her nails into his back and then sank back with a satisfied smile. Reave shuddered and passed out.

  Chapter 38

  She/They floated up a flat area that ran between the human habitations. Her/Their energy was depleted, and She/They moved very slowly, but now She/They was within reach of the stasis point and everything would be well.

  The human beings spilled out of their crude buildings and gawped at the strange creature who floated down their main street. She/They had always found the childish curiosity of humans an inconvenience, but under the circumstances it couldn't be avoided. The stasis point was all important to the task She/They had to perform.

  A sense of relief came over Her/Them as She/They reach
ed the absolute centre of the field. The standing pair carefully laid their injured third fractionally above the dust of the street. The inert form was supported a few inches above the ground by a faint blue glow. The remaining two stood erect, and one of them slowly raised the energy wand.

  A crowd of humans had surrounded the triple form, but remained at a safe distance. Their shouts and chattering died away as a dim red light enveloped the three figures. They backed away a few paces as the light grew in intensity and rose up the spectrum through orange to yellow. The light became stronger and stronger, turned green, blue and finally an intense violet that almost hid the figures from the view of the crowd.

  The sky above the little town flickered on and off as She/They drained incalculable amounts of energy. Lightning flashed in the distant, grey hills, and claps of thunder rattled the buildings. The glass in some of the windows shattered and collapsed, and a tree, down beyond the last house, crashed across the main street. The town generator whined and vib­rated as it tried to cope with the incredible overload. A gale-force wind howled down the street whipping up tall spirals of dust. Some of the older humans sank to their knees and began praying.

  There was a flash of intense white light. The humans who had been watching it turned away, temporarily blinded. The light around Her/Them slowly faded down to the dull red again. The pitch of the generator fell to normal, and the sky returned to its usual colour and brightness. The inert figure on the ground slowly rose to join the other two. She/They was once again complete. The triple form rose slightly and begin to drift back the way She/They had come. Towards the end of the street, She/They began to gather speed. Her/Their desire was to get away from the gawping, ignorant humans. Her/Their trials and pain were over, all that remained was the continuing search for the place of invulnerability. A place of solitude that She/They could render stable and make secure from the inroads of the disrupters. There She/They could restore Her/Their power, meditate and study, and prepare for the ultimate campaign. There would be other battles and other reversals, but Her/Their projections always led to the final conflict. It could only resolve itself in one of two ways. Her/Their form would be broken and become part of the chaos, or She/They would restore order to every level of the fabric of reality.

  For an instant She/They wondered what would be the fate of the humans when that time came, then, dismissing it as scarcely relevant, Her/Their form rose up the surface of the grey hills and vanished into the formless, swirling nothing.

  The crowd in the main street slowly dispersed. Old Eli went to inspect the damage to the windows in his store. Jed McArthur scratched his head and looked at his cousin Cal.

  'Did you see that?'

  'Right in the main street of Pleasant Gap.'

  'Without so much as a by-your-leave.'

  Cousin Cal looked around suspiciously.

  'It was them two boys leaving the town and wandering abroad. I knew it was tempting fate. Outlandish things was bound to happen, if folks started coming and going just as they pleased.'

  Jed McArthur spat in the dust.

  'I don't know what things are coming to.'

  Chapter 39

  Billy was having trouble accepting that the whole thing was real. The two young girls who now lay, one on each side of him, in the huge luxurious bed were hard to reconcile with the horror of the arrest and interrogation. The girls, whose pink uniforms littered the floor of the apartment, acted as though they were totally devoid of character. Their whole existence seemed to be directed towards pleasing his slightest desire. Beyond that, there was nothing. It was something that made Billy slightly uneasy. They were more like programmed machines than real people.

  They showed this constant anxiety over Billy's welfare, to the point where he felt almost under an obligation to produce more and more petty whims for them to indulge and keep themselves occupied. There seemed to be something strangely unhealthy about the whole city. All the people he had en­countered, with the possible exception of the strange child whom he half remembered from his delirium, seemed to have had large sections of their personalities erased. Even the brutality of the Personnel men seemed to have been aimed, not so much at getting information out of him, but at rearranging his memory of the outside world. He stared at his reflection in the mirror ceiling and worried at the problem.

  One of the girls seemed to sense his mood, and sat up.

  'Are you unhappy, Mister Billy?'

  Billy shook his head.

  'No, not really.'

  'You seem troubled.'

  'I was just thinking, that's all.'

  'You are unhappy.'

  'I'm not, really.'

  'Aren't thinking and unhappiness the same thing?'

  'Not usually.'

  'Would you like us to distract you?'

  Billy laughed.

  'I'm completely wiped out from being distracted.'

  'Perhaps you'd like to watch one of the entertainment channels?'

  'Okay.'

  The girl reached out a hand to the bedside console and the screen flickered into life. Men in period costume hacked savagely at each other with swords and axes. Billy shook his head.

  'I don't think so.'

  The girl changed the channel. Two women and a crowd of dwarfs were engaged in slapstick pornography. Billy rolled over.

  'I think we can forget the entertainment.'

  The girl looked concerned.

  'We are not pleasing you at all.'

  'Sure you are. I'm quite happy.'

  She gestured to the other girl.

  'Perhaps it would amuse you if my colleague and I had sex with each other while you watched. We are often asked to do this. We are quite highly skilled.'

  Billy laid a hand on her shoulder.

  'Do you ever think of anything else but what would please the people you serve?'

  The girl frowned.

  'Of course not. What else is there?'

  'Don't you ever just please yourself?'

  'I'm a Hostess-1. I take pride in my rank. I find my pleasure from pleasing those I am assigned to. That is the natural order, it's the function of my class.'

  Billy found it impossible to get through to her.

  'Are you happy, though?'

  'Of course.'

  'Wouldn't you like to have people serve you?'

  The girl immediately brightened.

  'Does it please you to say obscene things to me? Perhaps you'd like to beat me?'

  For a moment, Billy thought she was mocking him. Then he realized that she was perfectly serious. The concept of someone serving her was obscene according to her programming. The paradox was that she accepted it with pleasure. Before Billy could probe any further, the console buzzed and the girl reached out to answer it.

  'Mister Billy's apartment. May I help you?'

  Reave's voice came over the speaker.

  'Let me talk to Billy, will you, babe?'

  Billy moved into range of the camera.

  'Hey Reave. How you doing, old buddy?'

  Reave grinned.

  'Just fine. It's a wild set-up they got here. Is everyone treat­ing you right?'

  Billy laughed.

  'Falling over themselves to show me a good time. I got two broads down here that you wouldn't believe.'

  'How you feeling after that going-over you got?'

  'Fine. Completely recovered.'

  Reave looked relieved.

  'That's great. A.A. Catto's really sorry they did that to you.'

  Billy lit a cigar and inhaled.

  'Yeah? How you making out with her?'

  Reave winked.

  'I'm doing okay.'

  He paused.

  'Listen Billy. I got something to talk to you about. Can you come up here?'

  Billy nodded.

  'Sure. How do I get there?'

  'I've, no idea. Hold on.'

  Reave vanished from the screen, and A.A. Catto moved into frame.

  'Just tell your Hostess-1s. They'll
bring you up here.'

  Again Billy nodded.

  'Okay, fine.'

  The connection was cut, and Billy sat up in bed.

  'I've got to go to A.A. Catto's apartment.'

  The two girls sprang out of bed, hastily dressed and then helped Billy on with some of the clothes that A.A. Catto had chosen for him. Billy wasn't too sure about the red velvet jump suit that A.A. Catto had picked out of the catalogue, but Billy couldn't be bothered to argue, particularly as the Hostess-1s kept telling him how cute he looked. The girls led Billy along a series of walkways and corridors. They were admitted to A.A. Catto's apartment. Billy dismissed the girls, and went inside on his own.

  Reave was sitting crosslegged on the floor. He was wearing a white silk robe and a fancy silver collar. Billy looked at him in surprise. It was a far cry from his dungarees. Billy smiled to himself but said nothing. A.A. Catto was sprawled across the bed covered only by a black shawl that did little to hide her nakedness. Reave glanced up as Billy crossed the room.

  'Hey old buddy, how are you?'

  Billy sat down in one of the antique chairs.

  'Fine. You?'

  'Oh, I'm okay.'

  A.A. Catto sat up.

  'Don't you think Reave looks pretty since I went to work on him?'

  Billy noticed that, as well as the collar, Reave was wearing lipstick and eye shadow. Billy grinned.

  'I never exactly thought of Reave as being pretty.'

  A.A. Catto pouted.

  'Of course he is. He's very very pretty.'

  'Yeah, maybe.'

  He turned to Reave.

  'What did you want to talk to me about?'

  Reave looked a little uncomfortable.

  'Oh yeah . . . uh . . . would you like a drink or something?'

  'I'd like to know what you want to talk to me about. You're stalling, Reave.'

  Reave looked at the floor, and then up at Billy.

  'Well . . . It's as simple as this, man. I want to stay here.'

  'What?'

  'I like it here, Billy. I want to stay.'

  'You're kidding?'

  A.A. Catto moved to the end of the bed. Her shawl foil away revealing tiny breasts with small brown nipples.