Forbidden Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  Chapter Nine

  During that following week, Powchutu was a bundle of energy and excitement. He checked and rechecked all of their supplies. He examined the canoe for any damage; finding none, he announced it was adequate to finish their journey. With the swift currents in the Missouri River, he deduced that they would arrive in St. Louis within two weeks. He then busied himself with helping Joe complete his supply of firewood for the winter.

  The day before they were to depart, Powchutu went hunting for rabbits or some fowl which could be roasted and carried on their journey. Alisha made johnnycakes and wrapped them in a clean cloth. The cold weather would help to preserve their rations for many days, expediting their trip. Joe was also busy with last-minute tasks. Each seemed occupied with his own assignments and thoughts.

  Shortly after Powchutu had left to hunt, Joe headed to his cabin to speak privately with Alisha for one last time until spring. He entered so quietly that she did not hear him. Joe could see that she had been folding her scant possessions and packing them in the leather parfleche he had given to her the day before.

  Her distant, dreamy-eyed stare had halted his entrance just inside the doorway. He curiously studied her strange mood for a few moments, hesitating to intrude on her deep reverie. Alisha was sitting on the edge of his bunk, slightly turned in the other direction, presenting him with her profile.

  She was holding a creamy white leather dress clutched protectively against her bosom with her right hand. In her left hand she held a white, artistically beaded headband. She was gently blowing on the single white feather attached to it. As it would quiver in the draft which she created, she would smile secretly and pensively.

  Time and time again she repeated this curious act. As soon as the fluffy feather ceased to waver, she would purse her soft lips and leisurely exhale upon it once more. Abruptly she halted her ritual. She angrily crushed the little plume inside her tight fist, as if it had suddenly offended her in some mysterious way.

  “Damn you!” she cried out in unleashed anguish, startling Joe with the vehemence and grief in her voice.

  Before Joe could make his presence known, she forcefully threw the headband across the room. It struck the wall and fell to the floor. Almost hysterically she began to yank and to tear at the beautiful white dress, bent upon its destruction. She was crying and cursing Gray Eagle between ragged gasps for air.

  Joe rushed forward and seized her by the forearms. He called her name as he gently shook her to her senses. Her frenzied eyes came up to lock with his alarmed blue ones.

  “It’s mine!” she screamed at him. “I can destroy it if I wish and you can’t stop me.”

  “What’s the matter with you, Alisha? You’re beside yourself. Calm down and talk to me,” he commanded in a concerned tone.

  “The dress, I hate it! I want it destroyed!” she vowed, barely in control of her emotions and words.

  “Why? It’s lovely. An albino hide is rare and valuable.”

  She glared at him, then sneered contemptuously, “Just as rare as a white girl marrying a chiefs son!”

  Enlightenment filled his robust frame. He mellowed and softly stated, “I see. Your wedding heyake?”

  “My death’s shroud,” she acidly countered. “I was safer as his slave than as his wife.”

  “Want to talk about it? Might help to resolve some of that bitterness and anger.” He offered his friendly ear, more so to hear her story than from idle curiosity.

  “Talk changes nothing. Besides, Brave Bear is the one who gave it to me; it was made for our joining. After Gray Eagle won his challenge for me, I was forced to wear it for him instead.”

  “How did you feel about this Brave Bear? He’s Chief Black Cloud’s adopted son, isn’t he?”

  “Yes. He was very kind to me. But why shouldn’t he have been? They all believed I was this missing daughter of Black Cloud’s. In all fairness, he was a brave and respected warrior. He was very kind and gentle with me. I suppose I really liked him. He was strong and virile, handsome too. I guess I was just too scared and confused to think very much about him at the time. All I knew was that I was in his control and I didn’t understand why. I was under the impression Gray Eagle had sold me to him.”

  “Now I’m confused. How did they come to the conclusion you’re Shalee?”

  She sighed heavily, giving Joe the idea that she was not going to discuss this matter any further. But she said, “There was this old woman who lived in the Sioux camp. The way I understand it, she had been banished from the Blackfoot camp a long time ago. She was selected as my… mentor, you could say. In the beginning she was very mean and spiteful to me. Later I learned it was because I was a near replica of a captive who had once belonged to Chief Black Cloud. White, no less. Irish, I believe. Strange as it sounds, Black Cloud loved her. Her name was Jenny, and she gave him a girl child about twenty years ago. When Shalee—their daughter—was about two years old, she was stolen from his camp during a raid by some whites. Matu, the old woman, was banished for not protecting his daughter during that raid, since Jenny was killed. After Gray Eagle had tricked the cavalry at Fort Pierre into returning me to him, Matu went to Black Cloud and told him I was his Shalee. He came to the Sioux camp and demanded my return to him. Since Gray Eagle couldn’t disprove his claim, I had to go with him. At that time, I believed he had sold me to Black Cloud or Brave Bear. I couldn’t understand their kindness to me. I was also baffled by Gray Eagle’s fury that day. No one takes anything from him! About a week or so later, he came charging into the Blackfoot camp demanding to marry me.”

  She swallowed several times to moisten her dry throat, then fetched a cup of water. After a few sips, she continued with her incredible narrative. She spoke as if she were talking about another girl.

  “Black Cloud refused. Brave Bear refused. They informed me I was to wed Brave Bear. After that massacre at Fort Pierre, Powchutu had gone to live with another tribe. He told me Gray Eagle himself had spared his life. Anyway, Gray Eagle went after him and brought him along to explain all these ridiculous things to me. Why, I don’t know. I suppose he didn’t want anyone alive to know he can speak English. No doubt he would have eventually killed Powchutu also.” She shuddered at this dreadful thought.

  “I didn’t learn his dark secret until that last day I saw him. To go on, Powchutu was ordered to tell me who I was and why I was there. You can imagine my reaction. I was both confused and elated. I hadn’t been sold to another warrior, and I was reputed to be a chief’s daughter. Then I knew why I was being given the grand treatment. Gray Eagle’s fury surely made sense by then. If he could keep me as his lowly white slave, then he certainly deserved to keep me as a chiefs daughter. Now that I was a worthy prize, he couldn’t stand for someone else to claim it. Perhaps he figured it might damage his image if I chose another warrior over him, a symbolic slap in the face.”

  She drank more water before going on. “You must see the great shock I received when Powchutu explained their ideas to me. I honestly tried to convince them it was a trick. They refused to listen to me. In the end, I had no choice but to agree to becoming Princess Shalee. I was so weary of all the fear and trouble. It seemed the only solution to happiness and peace, so I relented.”

  Her eyes fluttered as she recalled her frustration and terror. “That was when the trouble really began. Gray Eagle would not be bested by anyone in any way. There was an uproar in the camp. I quickly learned he had challenged Brave Bear to possess me: ‘Ki-ci-e-conape’ was what they called it, duel to the death. It had something to do with tribal custom and his prior possession. I was helpless to prevent it or to refuse to join with the winner. Naturally Gray Eagle won. I seriously doubt any man alive could conquer him.”

  When she halted and lapsed into pensive silence, Joe impulsively pressed, “Then what happened?”

  She shrugged her shoulders and replied, “We were joined the following night. He did learn the truth about Matu’s trick before the joining ceremony, but not befo
re his reckless challenge. He must have overheard a talk between me and Powchutu in Matu’s tepee. We figured out how the deception was carried out, and we faced her with our accusations. The three of us were trying to decide how to handle Matu’s treachery and my predicament.”

  “Matu’s treachery? What do you mean?” he echoed in rising confusion. “How did she convince him of your identity?”

  “Have you ever heard of the Blackfoot custom of tattooing their family members with the same symbol, ‘akitos’ they’re called?” When Joe nodded his knowledge of this fact, she went on, “I was unconscious after my lashing for trying to escape. Matu was left to tend me. She accidentally found a scar shaped like a crescent moon in just the right area of my body. The combination of my similarity to this Jenny and my scar gave her the bold idea of passing me off as Shalee. That way, she could return home with a heroine’s welcome. She cunningly added two small stars to make it match Black Cloud’s akito. She wanted to return home to her people before she died, and I became her ticket.”

  “But tribal law prohibits such things! It means instant death, perhaps even torture,” Joe exclaimed in disbelief.

  “She was very old. What did she care? With my likeness to Jenny and with the akito as proof, Gray Eagle could not dispute Black Cloud’s claim on me. But when he learned it was only a ruse… well, you already know how he took that humiliating news: he left me to die. Now, he’s playing the grieving husband back in his village. Poor Black Cloud, he was really very kind and gentle. He will think he has lost his child for a second time.” Alisha experienced sincere sympathy for the old man who had proclaimed her as his daughter.

  Joe reflected upon all this new information, then questioned, “If he never spoke English to you before that last day, how did you know he had learned your secret?”

  She walked over to the wall, leaned over, and picked up the headband which she had so angrily discarded. “This told me,” she stated simply.

  “I don’t follow you. What could that headband reveal to him? Its markings and color say you’re a chiefs daughter.”

  “Shortly before the ceremony, two events warned me of Gray Eagle’s coming betrayal. First, he came into Black Cloud’s tepee. He picked up this headband and smiled, that secretive kind that tells you something is going on inside his head. He started to toy with the feather, blowing on it and making it quiver as with fear. He then took out the white feather and put one of his yellow ones in its place. I suppose he was reiterating his claim of ownership and power over me. I snatched it out and replaced the white one. After several such rounds, he was finally satisfied to leave both feathers in the headband. Definitely some kind of warning,” she concluded.

  “Is that what you were thinking about when I came in, that feather incident?”

  “That and the wedding,” she confessed dispiritedly. “At least it was very impressive and beautiful. It took place at night under a starry sky. Everyone was all dressed up in colorful outfits. There was a big celebration afterwards. I was wearing this dress. I don’t think I’ve ever looked better in my life than I did that night, though I was scared stiff. And Gray Eagle,” she sighed, “he was dressed in a long robe made from all kinds of feathers. There was soft drumming in the background. Or maybe it was just my heart thumping. I’ve never seen any man look so hand…”

  She caught herself before completing her wistful memories. She flushed a deep red, crimson reaching down her neck. She modestly lowered her lashes.

  “Don’t be embarrassed, Alisha. His good looks and prowess are well-known facts. There isn’t a woman around who could resist his magnetism. From what I hear, even Apollo and Adonis would be envious of him.”

  “You’re teasing me, Joe. Please don’t.”

  “I wasn’t. You of all females must know I speak the truth. Can you deny he’s the best specimen of manhood you’ve ever seen?” he challenged her.

  She opened her mouth to accept his annoying dare, but could not disclaim his remarks. “I suppose you’re right,” she reluctantly agreed.

  “What was the second thing?” he quizzed her.

  “Second thing?”

  “You said he warned you in two ways, remember? If that feather incident was the first clue, what was the second one?”

  She promptly presented him with her slender back. But not before he caught a glimpse of the crimson guilt which overtook her lovely face once more. “Nothing. Just forget it,” she murmured in embarrassment and modesty.

  He pulled her back around to face him. Her features were hidden from his probing eyes. He lifted her chin and pushed her long curls out of her face. Her long, thick lashes were still lowered to conceal some secret which might be written there.

  “Look at me, Alisha,” he commanded in an authoritative tone.

  Conditioned by Gray Eagle to instantly obey such orders, she looked up at him. “What did he do or say to make you run like a frightened rabbit? I think you’re as much afraid of yourself as you are of him.”

  Her involuntary reaction told him that he had struck a nerve. “It’s very personal, Joe. I don’t want to discuss it with anyone, not even you.”

  “Did he try to force himself on you before the joining? Did something else happen in Black Cloud’s tepee that afternoon?” he ventured his only logical conclusion.

  “No,” she replied quickly.

  “If he didn’t say or do anything to you, then how could he make you feel so threatened?” His jaw was set in grim determination to have the whole truth, as if it somehow affected him personally. His blue eyes probed her green ones, trying to compel some new evidence to surface there.

  “Don’t do that!” she abruptly shrieked at a startled Joe.

  “Do what?” His brow lifted in doubtful question.

  “Try to see into my very soul. He was always doing that. It makes me uncomfortable,” she admitted.

  Joe stunned her with his next question. “Were you hoping for him to make some romantic move toward you after the challenge, and he didn’t? Perhaps court his newly won bride-to-be?” he jested to lighten her spirits.

  “Why should he? He owned me lock, stock, and barrel, as they say. Why should he consider my trivial feelings?” She carelessly opened a previously closed door, dropping a clue.

  “Is that it? He ignored you, so you thought he didn’t want you? Alisha! He had just risked his life to marry you! He had just risked his honor to win you. Didn’t that prove something to you? It tells me he wanted you and wouldn’t give you up, no matter what the cost to him.”

  “Wanted me!” she shouted scornfully. “A lot you know! When I acquiesced to the dashing champion, he threw me aside like some… as if I were worthless, a mere nuisance to be endured. He spoke English; he knew how I felt about him. He knew how confused and frightened I was. I was dumb enough to say it and to show him! He wanted me so much that he pushed me away,” she said breathlessly, mentally blocking out the reason for his temporary rejection of her.

  This apparent contradiction flabbergasted Joe. “You went to him of your own free will, and he rejected you! He fought for you, then discarded you! Is that what you’re saying?” He shook his head in disbelief. “That’s absurd! There must be a reason!”

  Feeling dishonest, Alisha reluctantly explained, “We were alone after the challenge. It was the first time since I had been forcefully taken from his tepee that morning. We had parted in anger and silence. Before he captured me, he was supposed to marry another girl. The night before Black Cloud’s arrival to claim me, she had tried to kill me. I could understand her hatred and desperation. Yet tender-hearted Alisha tried to prevent her punishment. Take it from me, open defiance from a white slave was a terrible mistake. He was so furious with me, he didn’t even return to our tepee after Chela’s punishment. I didn’t see him again until that following morning when Black Cloud came to stake his claim on me. By the time the challenge was over, I was already one lesson and punishment behind.”

  She modestly lowered her lashes. As she conti
nued, her partially obscured face grew pinker and pinker. “When we were finally left alone, he seemed different somehow: calm, gentle, pleased, and even loving. It had been a long time since we… had been together. He was a very skilled, persuasive man when it came to… romance. Joe, he was irresistable. As you can guess, things were quickly out of hand. White Arrow, his best friend, came looking for us because it was almost time for the celebration.”

  Her following words were spoken as if she were painfully bringing them from the very depths of her inner soul. “Without any warning, he suddenly became very cold, forbidding, and stern. He seized my hand and practically dragged me back to the camp. He was almost as angry as he had been that morning when Black Cloud took me away from him. He practically forced me to respond to him, then attacked me for doing so! Knowing English, he could have explained what was wrong or why he was so furious. He didn’t say a word. If that isn’t rejection, then what is?”

  Aware of how a proud man might react to being caught in a passionate and compromising position, Joe could easily understand Gray Eagle’s defensive reaction, but not his calloused way of handling the situation. Why hadn’t he explained his feelings to her? “My naïve Alisha, he was no doubt embarrassed by his loss of control over himself. Evidently he became overly defensive at his bad timing.”

  She stared at him wide-eyed and gaped. Joe had just unwittingly given her the same explanation that Gray Eagle had that last morning on the plains. “What would you have done in that same situation?”

  “Probably killed the so-called friend whose timing was so humiliating,” he replied devilishly.

  “Why?” she innocently questioned, eyes filled with curiosity and ignorance.

  Joe chuckled, slightly timid about replying. “Under such heated conditions, to be denied fulfillment is most painful to both your manly pride and your… your private parts, shall I say?”