To Know Me (The Complete Series, Books 1-4)

by Marcy Blesy

  Ty lives in a dorm with two other guys. His directions lead us to the west side of campus where dorm after dorm line the roads, each looking like the other. Before we get out of the car, I look in the mirror. A headband holds my hair out of my face. No hiding today. My makeup highlights my green eyes, and a fresh stroke of red lipstick clashes enough with my emerald green dress so as to draw attention to both my dress and my lips.

  “Do you want to go up to his room alone?” asks Sarah. “We can grab lunch by ourselves.” She tightens her ponytail and adjusts her bra under her skintight sweater. I wish I had half the cleavage that girl does. She and Carmen make quite the pair. I don’t know who will get the most looks, Carmen with her blue hair and gladiator sandals or Sarah and her trampy girl-next-door attire.

  “Maybe,” I say. “if you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all,” says Sarah reaching over the seat and grabbing Carmen’s hand. “Me and my new bestie have our own plans for this weekend. Come meet us over there.” She points to a restaurant with a bar, no doubt. I hope Sarah behaves herself this weekend.

  “Thanks. Meet you in a bit.”

  “Take your time,” says Sarah, winking.

  “No, don’t take your time,” says Carmen. “Be smart.” I sigh, get out of the car, and look up at the building that potentially holds the answers to my future, or the answers to my heart, at the very least.

  I get plenty of stares as I enter the building. There are lots of people in the lobby, some on computers, others checking their phones, and others just hanging out. The signs on the wall lead me to the front desk where I have to check-in. The guy at the desk points me in the direction towards Ty’s room. Lucky guy, I hear him say to the guy next to him as I walk away. I can’t help but smile.

  “Well, look at you,” says Ty when he opens the door. He grabs my hand, holds it above my head, and twirls me like a ballerina. “You look amazing, Mae. It is so good to see you.” He picks me up and hugs me close. He’s wearing Calvin Klein cologne, and I feel weak. He kisses me. I kiss back, expecting the mixture of the cologne and the warm embrace to send shockwaves through my lips, but it doesn’t. I write it off as nervous jitters. “Come in. I want you to meet my roommates.”

  A bunk bed sits against one wall with a twin bed on the opposite wall. Three desks line the other free wall, and a small refrigerator resides under the window that looks out over a common grassy area between the other dorms. Sitting in the middle of the large room is a futon that faces the television atop the refrigerator, and on that futon sit Ty’s roommates.

  “This is Charlie,” says Ty, pointing to the guy in the plaid pajama bottoms with no shirt. He raises his hand and nods his head my direction. So much for first impressions. “And this is Xander.” Xander gets up and hugs me.

  “Pleased to meet you, Mae,” says Xander. “And sorry about this mope,” he says, punching Charlie in the arm. “He was born without the gene for class.” I smile. Xander reminds me of Matt, warm and funny, though not nearly as handsome.

  “Is something the matter?” asks Xander.

  “Uh, no, sorry. I was just thinking that you remind me of someone.”

  “It’s the good looks. I get that all the time,” he says. I smile.

  “So, stop hogging my girlfriend,” says Ty, pulling me away from the middle of the room, and toward the door. The sound of the word girlfriend catches me off-guard. “We have some catching up to do.”

  “Yes, you do,” says Xander. He winks at Ty. “Let’s go, loser. We need to eat. Put on a shirt.” He tosses a shirt at Charlie who, surprisingly, responds without further prodding.

  “I thought you brought friends,” says Charlie. Xander slaps him in the head.

  “It’s that class gene thing again. Sorry,” Xander says to me.

  “I did. They’re eating across the street.”

  “See? Everything’s going to be just fine, Charlie,” says Ty. “Look for a cute chick with a too tight shirt and her friend with hair the color of some part of the rainbow. Right, Mae?” says Ty as he looks at me for approval.

  “You nailed it,” I say, smiling.

  When they are gone, I look at Ty. “I really doubt either one of them is going to find Charlie too appealing,” I say.

  “You’d be surprised. Give him a beer, and he has a whole new attitude, quite charming, actually.”

  “Sounds perfect for Sarah.”

  “That’s what I was thinking,” says Ty. We both laugh. “So, what should we do?” asks Ty. He runs his fingers up and down my arm like he’s lightly hitting the keys of a baby grand piano. It sends shivers up my arm, and he notices. “You look so good in that dress, Mae, but I’d love to see you without it,” he says. I take his hand off of my arm. I’m having flashbacks of Kyle at my sophomore homecoming dance trying his worst pick-up lines to get me in the bus barn. The lines worked then. They won’t work this time. But Ty’s not Kyle. Then why is he acting like it? Ugh. We haven’t been together more than ten minutes, and all he wants to do is get my dress off.

  “Ty, stop. I’m not ready. I didn’t come here for sex. I told you on the phone I want to see if we can make this work again.”

  “And I’m just suggesting that I know one surefire way to get our new relationship off with a bang.” He grabs me around the waist and throws me onto his bed.

  “Can’t we just talk or something for a while? You know, catch up?” Ty kisses my neck.

  “Sure, Mae. I had a US history exam yesterday. It sucked. Let’s see…Charlie threw up last night when he got home from the bars.” Ty slips his hand under my dress. “Patsy sent me a text begging for forgiveness. I deleted it.” He unhooks my bra. “This hot girl in English 101 asked me for my number, but I told her she had to get in line.” He starts to pull off my dress.

  “Ty, stop it!” I push him off me so hard he falls backwards and hits the wooden arm of the futon with his hip.

  “Dammit, Mae. What the hell?” I can’t stop from crying. I don’t even care that I am. Where did the man I once loved go?

  “Forget it, Ty! Forget I even tried!” I grab my purse and storm towards the door.

  “Yeah, predictable pattern, Mae. Run, run, run. That’s all you know how to do. Nobody else wants you, Mae. You are broken.” I am stunned. No words have ever stung more than those three words: You are broken.

  “You are wrong, Ty. You are nothing but the son of a drug addict and a wife abuser. I guess the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

  “You bitch. Get out!”

  “Gladly!” I slam the door behind me and run down the stairs without looking back.

  When I get to the restaurant, it’s easy to spot my friends. They are letting Ty’s roommates paw all over them, even Carmen. Do these people have no dignity? I have to clear my throat to get their attention. Charlie lets go of Sarah’s hand when he sees me. I’m sure I look worse for the wear, but I couldn’t care less.

  “What happened to you?” asks Carmen, who is still resting her arm over the back of Xander’s neck. “Are you okay?”

  “I.…Yes…No. Let’s go.” I stomp my foot in frustration. I do not want to explain my predicament in front of Charlie and Xander.

  “No way,” says Sarah. We just got here. If you think I’m going to get in that car again and ride six hours back to Andersonville, you are crazy. You’re supposed to be making all lovey-dovey with Ty right now. What happened?”

  “Let’s chat,” Carmen says, grabbing my hand and leading me outside. Thank God for less self-absorbed friends. “We’ll be back. Go ahead and order, anything vegetarian for me and a burger for Mae.” When we are outside, I can’t hold back the tears. Carmen pats me on the back in her best attempt at empathy. “Do I need to beat down the son of a bitch? He really screwed it up this time, didn’t he?”

  “Yes,” I say. “I mean, no, I don’t want you to beat him up.” The thought makes me giggle, though. “But yes, he’s gone and done it this time. He’s such a jerk. He hasn’t changed at all. Apparently,
I’m only here for sex.”

  “Oh, well, that’s not all bad.”

  “Carmen!”

  “It’s a joke. He is hot.”

  “I don’t have sex with someone because he’s hot! Why does no one understand me?”

  “Can’t you talk to him? It’s not like you can go from thinking you want to get back together with someone one minute to hating his guts and never wanting to see him again the next, right?”

  “No, I’m good with that.”

  “Come on, Mae, really?”

  “Yep.” I’m trying so hard to hold it together right now. “Will you leave with me?”

  “Well, I would, but Sarah and dingbat are making plans for tonight. There’s some big apartment party they invited us to. You should come, too. You need some fun. We can get a hotel room but nothing too fancy. I’m good with the local ma and pa motel.”

  “Sure, whatever.” I walk back with Carmen into the restaurant, fix myself in the bathroom, and eat my burger. It’s the most fantastic feeling in the world to be the fifth wheel at a party for four. My phone dings like it’s been doing every couple of minutes since I left.

  Ty: I’m sorry.

  Ty: Please some back.

  Ty: You don’t understand.

  Ty: Under a lot of pressure from my parents.

  Ty: My grades suck.

  Ty: I need u here to help me.

  Ty: I’m the broken one.

  Ty: PLEASE

  Ty: Mae, PLEASE. I need u.

  Ty: I helped you once. It’s your turn now.

  I slide my phone to the off position and tuck it deep into my purse. Wherever I go, whatever I do, I bring drama with me. I chose this path, like all of the other paths before me. If only I’d stayed with Matt, I’d be living a drama-free life. Choosing Ty provides only heartache, but heartache is all I know.

  After we check into the motel, $39.99 for the night, I take my hand sanitizer and clean off as many surfaces as I can. I think this is the same kind of motel that charges by the hour in the middle of the day, too. Yuck.

  “Sorry Ty is being such an ass, Macy. It’s his loss,” says Sarah. She changes into a slinky black dress that lands barely above her knees. If she bends over there will be little left to the imagination for those behind her. I can’t believe my best friend has turned into a slut.

  “Thanks, Sarah. You sure you want to spend the night with Charlie? He’s not exactly the most charming guy in the world.”

  “He’s got plenty of charm, Macy. Have you seen the swagger in his walk or the way his lip curls when he’s snarling at you? Plus, I’m not looking for a husband, just a good time.”

  “Maybe that’s the problem,” I say.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she says, putting down her mascara wand.

  “Maybe if you looked for guys that were marriage material instead of one-night stands, you’d have a little more luck in the love department.”

  “Like you have room to talk, Macy? How’s that working out for you?” She narrows her eyes at me and adds another coat of mascara.

  “Okay, girls, knock it off,” says Carmen. “No one’s getting married tonight, and maybe it would behoove us all to have higher standards with the guys we hook up with.”

  “Behoove?” asks Sarah. “You have clearly been hanging out with Macy too much.” I want to throw a stained pillow at her, but one look at Carmen, and I know I should end it. We have the whole night to spend together. Just because I’m angry with Ty doesn’t mean I should take it out on my friends.

  Carmen wears a ripped black shirt with a white tank underneath and a short black skirt with combat boots. She dresses like a rebel, but she has the heart of an angel. I’m glad she picked Xander over Charlie. I decide not to change. My green dress is a bit wrinkled after wearing it all day, but I still look cute. Too bad I don’t feel like being cute. I’m hoping to find a television to plant myself in front of while Carmen and Sarah do their thing.

  Charlie and Xander are waiting outside the apartment building when we arrive. I take a deep breath and suck it up, knowing I put myself in this position to begin with.

  “Hello, ladies,” says Xander. “So nice to see you again.” Charlie has already grabbed Sarah and is dragging her upstairs to the party before we even have a chance to answer.

  “Is Ty…is Ty coming?” I ask.

  “He might. He’s pretty beat up right now,” says Xander. “He didn’t go into specifics, but I know he feels like he’s to blame for whatever happened today.

  “Well, he most certainly is,” says Carmen, “but do we really have to talk about this here? I’d like a drink.”

  “Absolutely. You’re right. Tonight is about new beginnings.” He winks at Carmen. She smiles and takes his hand as he leads us upstairs. Oh, this is going to be an awesome night. Not.

  Finding a television in the kitchen was a real bonus. I’ve been sitting on the counter between the garbage can and the sink all night watching reruns of the Big Bang Theory. Sure, there’s traffic and lots of odd looks, but I guess I am putting off the don’t-talk-to-me-no-matter-what vibe pretty well. Carmen and Xander have been playing euchre with another couple most of the night at a card table in the living room. Who knows where Sarah and Charlie are, though when I last saw them when I got up to use the bathroom, they were slow dancing in the middle of the hallway. There wasn’t any slow music playing, either.

  I didn’t see him come in until he spoke. “Hey,” he says. I look up. “This time I brought pink carnations. Is that better?” He tries to hand me the flowers.

  “Ty, please don’t.”

  “No, Mae, take them. Whether you want to talk to me or not, please take the flowers.” I grab the bouquet and set them on the counter behind me. Some guy in a U of M t-shirt throws out an empty bag of chips and grabs a beer from the fridge. Ty rests a hand on the counter next to me and whispers close to my ear. “I’m falling apart, Mae. If I don’t get my act together by the end of the semester, my parents are moving me back home. I need you. You’re the only stable thing I’ve got.”

  “It’s not my job to fix you, Ty.” I consider jumping off the counter and leaving, but how could I leave with Carmen and Sarah still here? And they sure aren’t leaving any time soon.

  “I know it’s not your job, but if you ever loved me, I need you to give me another chance.”

  “I don’t know, Ty. I can’t…I—” He moves his hand to my arm.

  “I’ve quit drinking.”

  “What?” I ask.

  “I’ve stopped. Tonight. Honest. See? I haven’t had one drink. I don’t even feel the temptation with you here.”

  “Ty, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

  “Mae…”

  “He’s been drinking like a fish,” says Charlie from behind me, reaching into the fridge. He pulls out two, one for him, and one he tries to hand to Ty.

  “No, man, I’m done. It’s ruining me,” says Ty.

  “Whatever. You’re a hell of a lot more fun when you’re drinking. Don’t let this bitch bring you down.”

  “Shut up, Charlie.” Ty raises his hand and knocks the beers out of Charlie’s hand. Charlie’s sweatshirt and the floor are covered. I jump off the counter.

  “Asshole.” Charlie lands a right hook on Ty’s jaw. Ty is ready to return the blow when people start yelling, including me.

  “Stop it! Stop it!” I grab hold of Ty’s arm and try to pull it away, but he’s strong, and he’s mad. Xander and a couple of other guys run into the room just in time to pull them away from each other before anyone else gets more hurt. Ty and I are rushed outside to the deck where at least thirty other people yell over each other in attempts at conversation. The fresh air feels good. I didn’t realize how hot I was.

  “You guys stay here while I get Charlie calmed down. Do you know how hard it is to live with the two of you?” Xander stomps back into the apartment. Ty and I squeeze into a corner of the deck away from the apartment and away from as many of
the people as we can.

  “I’m sorry, Mae. I’m sorry.” Ty puts his face in his hands and cries. In the sea of people, he’s bawling his eyes out and not giving a damn. Who is this guy? Where is the Ty that I know—the strong, confident, kind man I fell for?

  “Ty, do you have a problem with alcohol? Is that what’s going on?” He shakes his head yes.

  “And more.”

  “More, what? Geez, Ty.”

  “I got into U of M because I have the right pedigree, at least on paper. Sure I had the grades, too, but I’m not college material. I’ve been faking it my whole life. I’m not a country club kid. I’m the son of a wife abuser and a drug addict, just like you said. I don’t want to be that, too, Mae.” I cannot believe what I am hearing. It’s like he’s not even the same person. How could you think you know someone so well one minute and the next…? But I hate to see him cry. Somewhere inside, my Ty has to be there, right? I put my hand on his arm. I touch his cheek with my other hand and lay my head against his chest. We stand there, two broken people trying to make sense of it all. Then I hear a sound, like a crack, followed by screams. I don’t realize mine is one of them until I’m on the ground, buried by the weight of other bodies on top of me, sucking the breath from my body.

  Chapter 7:

  They tell me I’m in the hospital. I hear words like bruised ribs and black and blue. I search for familiar faces, trying to understand what is happening. Beeps and hushed whispers surround me as my eyes come into focus. My arm is sore. I try to move my fingers, but my brain is slow in following my commands, and it hurts. I try to sit up and instead cry out in pain.

  “Oh, honey. Lay down. You can’t be moving like that.”

  “Where am I?”

  “You’re at Ann Arbor General.”

  “Why?”

  “There was an accident.”

  “What kind of accident?” I ask. The nurse readjusts my blanket.

  “You know what, honey, why don’t you try and get some rest? We’ll get all those questions answered in due time. There’s someone who’s been waiting for a long time for you to feel up to chatting. I’ll go get him.” I close my eyes. I don’t understand anything that is happening. The last thing I remember, Ty and I were on the deck at the apartment party, and then.…Oh, my God, I pray. The deck. It collapsed. We fell.