The Light of the World (The Light Series Book 1)

by Tara Brown

  I shake my head to dismiss it, but I can't. Physically, I cannot let it go. I can let go of Michelle's betrayal, because she was used. My own father used her pain and suffering against her. Wyatt's uncle and mother tortured me on purpose. They didn’t need to. I was no threat to them.

  The drive to the old church is long and I'm antsy. My legs twitch and I tap on everything I touch.

  I glance at Wyatt under my lashes. “You saved me.”

  He laughs. “It was an accident. I panicked.”

  I blush and smile. It's the first real smile I've felt in ages. I laugh, and it feels like I'm whole again for the moment.

  He brushes our moment off. “So, this priest knows about the light of the world?”

  I shrug. “Not sure about that, but Willow says he for sure knows how to kill the five devils. She's been researching a ton since we left her place. They all have.”

  Wyatt sighs. “I spoke to my mom today.”

  I almost get whiplash from how fast my head turns. My skin crawls, and I feel every pain she inflicted upon my flesh.

  “She said to say she was sorry and that it wasn’t personal.”

  I watch his face for his reaction to the words. He shoots a glance at me, but then looks back at the road.

  Mona leans into the front seat. “Are you kidding?”

  He shakes his head.

  Mona looks at me and strokes my arm. I lean into the affection.

  I glance at Michelle. She is twisting up inside. She looks ready to crack.

  “She can say whatever she wants. I have no intention of forgiving her.”

  Wyatt looks at me. “You are awfully choosy about who you forgive.” He hasn’t forgiven Michelle. To him, his mother was trained to do what she did. She had every reason. Not to mention, her son handfasted with a sin eater. To him, Michelle chose what she did to me for selfish reasons, and she is the one who is guilty. His mother was doing her chosen purpose in life. Her job.

  I want to punch him in the head sometimes.

  “Yeah, well, when you watch seven women die to save you—plain old you—one of you for seven of them—you may then be as choosy as you like.” My voice is calm, but my insides are freaking out.

  Mona looks at Michelle and scowls. She hasn’t gotten past it either. We are taking Michelle back to school after the church. I think it's a mistake. I feel like I need her. Not to mention, she knows what my dad looks like. I need to know why he wants me dead, before I eat all the sin.

  Wyatt pulls into a motel and hops out of the SUV.

  I look at Michelle and Mona. “Thanks for coming.”

  Mona looks annoyed and Michelle scowls.

  I sigh. “Can we just get past this? Get it out, Mona. You're pissed. Michelle, you're embarrassed. Just say it.”

  Mona looks at Michelle and slaps her hard across the cheek. Michelle lowers her head and sobs quietly.

  “You are a jerk. You betrayed her. For what—a uterus?”

  Michelle ugly cries. I lean across the back seat and hug her.

  “You aren’t a jerk.” I look at Mona. “She isn’t a jerk. You don’t know what it's like to be something you can't love and understand.”

  Mona processes it and crosses her arms.

  Michelle looks at her. Mona reaches over and hugs her. “I liked you better before. Now you look plastic.”

  Michelle snorts. “You're a dick.”

  I look at them both and dive in for a hug. It's not one hundred-percent better, but it feels like it might be, one day.

  He gets back in the SUV and looks at us funny.

  He hands them a key and me a key, and drives to the farside of the motel. He gets out of the SUV and stretches. I climb out and open the door with the number matching my key. He is right behind me. I look back at him. “What are you doing?”

  He presses himself against my back. “Sharing a room. Open the door.” I don’t even get to say goodnight to my friends. When I open the door, he pushes me in and locks it. He slides a chair against the door and makes certain all the windows are locked. I stand watching him.

  “You can't share a room with me.”

  He looks back at me and grins. “Scared to be alone with me?” He's cocky and I hate him sometimes—well, really dislike him. My ability to hate him is diminishing. Which is annoying.

  He jumps onto the one bed and grabs the remote. He turns on the TV and starts flicking. I look at the door and wonder how far I can make it if I push the chair and make a run for it.

  He watches me with one eye and football with the other.

  “Don't even think about it.”

  I sit on the chair in the entryway and ignore the closed door, the man I love, and the way my belly feels warm and nervous.

  A knock at the door startles my thoughts.

  I look at the door and wait for something.

  “Yes?” he shouts at the door.

  “Wyatt, where is Rayne?” Mona is outside.

  “Go away, Mona.” He doesn’t trust Michelle.

  I stand and walk to the window facing the parking lot. I tap the double-paned glass.

  She comes to the window and frowns. “Open the door.”

  I shake my head and point to Wyatt. I put a mock gun up to my head and pull the trigger and roll my eyes.

  She laughs.

  She puts her face up to the window. “Michelle needs you.”

  I frown and put my face up to the cold glass of the window. I shout back, “Why?”

  She looks at Wyatt and shouts really loud with a crappy grin on her face. “She got her period.”

  My eyes are huge. I can feel the strain of them being so wide.

  Wyatt moans, “Gross, what the hell? Keep that junk to yourself. Jesus.”

  I slide the chair away from the door. “I gotta go. She's going to be freaking out.”

  He waves a hand at me. “Gross.”

  I open the door and run out. Mona grabs my hand and pulls me to her room. Inside she slams the door and looks at Michelle.

  Michelle is on the bed with the guiltiest look on her face. “He knows.”

  I look at them both and frown. “Who knows what? About your period?”

  “Where the light of the world is.”

  I am confused. “So no period?”

  Michelle tilts her head. I shrug. “I don’t know.”

  She shakes her head at me. “Anyway, I heard them talking at their house when I was sneaking around trying to find you. He's using you to take it. I never put two and two together, until you said something in the truck just then.”

  I don’t trust her. I never realized it, until now. Pitting her and Wyatt against each other is a no-brainer for me. It's him every time. It's always going to be him. I love him. My brain plays the devil's advocate and whispers, Even if he doesn’t love you? Can't love something like you?

  I watch her face. “Where is it?”

  She looks at Mona for support. Mona nods slightly, “It's inside of someone. It's kept in a person. You have to suck it out. You know—the way you feed.”

  “But who?”

  She swallows hard. “Your mother.”

  I sit on the bed and watch her face. She is in turmoil.

  “Where did they say she was?”

  She shakes her head violently. “They never said. I swear. I know you don’t trust me and I'm sorry for that. I'll always be sorry for it.”

  “You are my friend. You don’t owe me anything, Michelle. You'll always be my friend.” I don’t say that I trust her. I don’t lie.

  “How do you know he knows?”

  She sighs and stares straight ahead. “I was walking around the rooms, trying to find where they had hidden you. He was at the table with them, the one in the basement. Anyway, the uncle said he needed the light of the world to do something. He never said what, just that he needed it. Then his mom said, ‘Well, it's inside of Lillith. It always has been. All she ever had to do was kill her mother, and she would have lived forever.’ Then the dad says, ‘Well, t
ake her to her mother and get her to kill her.’”

  I feel sick. It sounds too elaborate for her to be lying to me. But I can tell she is holding something back. “What else?”

  She presses her lips together. “Then Wyatt said that if he killed you as the light left your mother, he could take it.”

  He plans on killing me. I doubted his love from the beginning, but I have never doubted his care for me. He can't explain it, even to himself, but I know he cares.

  “He could be leading them on and not planning on hurting me.”

  Mona rolls her eyes. “No, you're thinking with the va-jay-jay. If he were on your side, he would have told you how to find it. He would have told you how to kill your mother. He would help you. Not plot against you. Besides, he took you back to their house and let them torture you.”

  I want to scowl at her and rage and tell her how wrong she is. I want to run back to the room and lie on the bed with him. I want to let him have me. I want so many things. Mostly, I want Michelle to be lying to me. I think of the many ways in which this could be her laying a trap.

  None are as convincing as him being on his parents’ side. Screw him.

  I smirk at her. “I can play this game with him. Meet me at the truck in like half an hour.”

  Michelle looks worried and Mona looks excited.

  I leave and walk back to the room. My insides are burning in pain. I open the door and close it softly.

  He glances at me. “She okay?”

  I shake my head. “No, it's bad. Blood clots and other stuff.”

  He gags. “Oh my God.”

  “She is like peeing blood and cramping on the toilet. It's pretty typical stuff.”

  He looks green. “Oh wow. I don’t need to know this junk.”

  I smile inside. I climb on the bed beside him and snuggle into him. He wraps an arm around me and kisses my forehead. He doesn’t pay attention to it. He watches football for a second.

  I start tracing the pattern on his shirt. I trace it and think about taking his clothes off. I notice him adjusting his position. I lift his shirt and trace the pattern of the writing on his side. The words feel magical. They are obviously a part of what he is. There is no denying it. The heat coming off them is intense. I lean forward and kiss the words.

  “What do these say?”

  He is lying back and enjoying my attention.

  He lifts his head. “What?”

  I blush. “The words?”

  He looks confused and shakes his head. “I don’t know. I've just always had them. They're in Latin.”

  I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “You have a tattoo and you don’t know what it is?”

  He looks back at the TV and shakes his head again. “My whole family has them. Probably something about the vow they made to God to vanquish evil.” He grins like it's a joke.

  I'm not convinced.

  He pulls me back into him. I continue to trace the letters delicately.

  He looks down at me. I can see fire in his eyes. He bends and presses his lips onto my cheek.

  I pull away. “No.”

  He looks angry. “You can trace my tats, but I can't kiss your cheek?”

  I shake my head and pull his shirt back down. His abs flex and he turns on his side. He kisses my neck and whispers, “I think you want me, Rayne. As much as I want you.”

  I grin and let him start something I have no intention of finishing. His hands slide up and down my body, making nerves stand on end. He cups my ass and pulls me up. He rolls and I'm on top of him.

  I let him have it. I suck as hard as I can. We're kissing but really it's a battle of strength. He is blocking and kissing and I'm sucking and kissing. He's better at it than I am. He becomes the wind tunnel again.

  He grinds against me. He's turned on.

  I grind back, teasing him more. He moans and cups me—pressing me into him. I sit up and grin.

  He shakes his head. “You can push it too far, Rayne.” His eyes sparkle.

  I move like I want to get off, but he holds me there. His fingers dig into my legs.

  “You are killing me.”

  I want to retort, believe me. I have comebacks for this moment. I've been plotting them since we met. Instead, I smile sweetly, like I'm clueless.

  He growls and sits up. His lips meet mine with a crash. His passion explodes and I suck. I pull from him. It's not sweet. It's sour and gross. I pull away and cough. He frowns. “Oh my God, Rayne . . . you have to learn how not to do that when we kiss.”

  I cough and grip my belly. I roll on the bed and moan.

  He rubs my back. “Are you okay?”

  I shake my head.

  He lies with me and snuggles me.

  “I'm sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you.”

  I nod and tremble. He hugs me, but I can tell he’s pressing himself against me, awkwardly. He can't stop himself.

  He readjusts and gives me a look. “You mind if I go take a cold shower? I can't snuggle you like this.”

  I shake my head and curl up. I close my eyes.

  He kisses my cheek and walks to the bathroom. He closes the door, and when I hear the shower I open one eye.

  I wait until I can tell the water is hitting his body and leap from the bed. I take his keys and wallet and run out the door.

  They're already sitting at the curb.

  I click the lock and we all jump in.

  I start the SUV and throw it into reverse. I am driving out of the parking lot when I see him running out in a towel.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The priest is a friendly man. He has chubby cheeks and a kind disposition, but I still don’t trust him.

  His eyes are hiding something. I don’t know what, but there is something missing from the conversation.

  “So, which one of you ladies is the sin eater?”

  Mona raises her eyebrows at him and nods. He sighs. “You have a very long, hard path ahead of you, my dear. Essentially, you need to destroy the five devils and then your parents. It will reset the evil, and the balance will be restored.”

  Michelle sits in the corner quietly.

  He glances at her and frowns. “I can't help but notice the evil inside of you. Your energy is a mess.” He sounds like Willow. “You are at a desperate point in your life, my dear.”

  She nods and swallows. “I have sinned, Father. Greater than any sin possible. I betrayed someone. Someone I loved like a sister.” She looks at me, and I shake my head subtly.

  He takes her hands and shakes his head. “No, my child. Anyone who repents for his or her sins can be absolved. Anyone.”

  She looks down and whispers, “I don’t think that includes me. I made a deal with the devil. A deal that he still expects payment for.”

  He rings a bell on his desk. A nun walks in.

  “I think this young lady would like a tour of the cathedral. Perhaps even some tea. On the ladies’ side.” He leads Michelle to the nun's hand. She takes her and leaves the room with a slight nod. Michelle is sobbing again.

  He closes the door.

  “She has Lucifer himself within her. We cannot speak in front of her. I'm surprised she hasn’t betrayed either of you yet. He holds her soul.” A grave look crosses his face.

  I look at Mona and nod slightly.

  Mona looks at him and nods. “She has betrayed us already. We forgave her for her betrayal, but now we kind of think she's lying every time she opens her mouth.”

  He nods slowly. “I see.”

  He pours a cup of tea and offers it to me and Mona. I take it, but wait for him to pour a cup for himself. When he does and takes a sip, I drink a sip of mine.

  He watches me and smiles. “So, the five devils are not hard to get. Simply use her as bait. Starve her and they will feel her need. They will come. When they open their mouths to give her the sin, you cut their heads off. It must be their heads. Instant death is the only way to ensure the sin goes with them to Hell. If they suffer or bleed out, the sin seeps back into the
air and then back into the earth.”

  I frown and look at Mona. “Starve her?”

  He nods. “A little torture maybe too. She needs to be suffering and starving. They feel the need. They will come, one at a time. She cannot take more than one feed a month, if that. Three months is better, four is the best.”

  I watch Mona's face. “Can we track them?”

  He nods. “Yes. They typically live in the worst places on earth. The epicenters of sin. Hell on earth, if you will.”

  “How do we find Lillith and Lucifer?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “If I knew that, I would already have ended this myself.”

  I put my tea down and bite my lip. “What happened last time? In the Dark Ages?”

  He shakes his head again. “I don’t know, but I know the sin eater died. Not the devils.”

  I stand and hold my hand out. “Thanks. You've been a lot of help.”

  He frowns. “Surely you can't be ready to leave already?” He fusses with the teapot.

  I watch his face and look at Mona. “Tie him up.” He looks panicked.

  She already has a huge urn in her hands. She smashes it over his head and rips the phone cord out of the wall and the back of the phone. She ties him up.

  “How did you know?” I ask Mona.

  She shakes her head. “His eyes. He kept looking at the clock. I guarantee Wyatt is going to be here any second.”

  I look over at the door. “Great.”

  While she ties him up I rifle through the drawers.

  She rubs her belly. “I'm starving.”

  I nod. “Me too. This is such bullcrap. Honestly. We should be at school right now. Having fun and getting drunk.”

  She laughs and runs her fingers through her long brown hair. “No kidding.”

  I am nervous and sick about leaving the room we're in. I'm terrified he is standing in the hall or holding Michelle as bait.

  When I look at Mona, her eyes tell me she feels the same way. She walks to the door handle and looks back at me. I nod and together we stroll out casually. I turn the lock on the inside and close the door. I am immediately scanning the massive cathedral. I don’t see him or Michelle. Just people praying.

  Walking through the pews and seeing Jesus staring at me makes me feel considerably worse about knocking out the priest.