Echoes

by Angela Verdenius

  It was as though they’d never been apart. Yet she didn’t fool herself, a lot had changed in those years, they’d both changed. The love was still there, only matured. They accepted each other, learnt more about each other, acknowledged the changes and the differences of opinions. Loved each other, yes, but grew closer as a couple.

  Ryan didn’t pressure her to move in with him. He waited for her to make the decision. The man was a font of patience while she, well, she dithered.

  “It’s not like I don’t trust him,” she muttered to Boof as he lay down in the grass. “I do. And let’s face it, we will move in with him. I just…” With a sigh, she shifted the stream of water to the last hibiscus bush. “I just feel…”

  Boof lazily batted an errant leaf with one paw.

  “Bugger it. I’m such a selfish, self-absorbed dron-”

  “Ella!”

  Startled out of her moody self-berating, she looked up to see Mrs Featherstone waving a newspaper. Turning off the water, she crossed to the fence dividing the properties.

  “Did you hear?”

  “Hear what?”

  “There’s an underage sex ring going on in Victoria.” Mrs Featherstone again flapped the newspaper.

  Heart skipping a beat, Ella managed to maintain an outwardly mildly curious expression while reaching for the paper. “Really?”

  Mrs Featherstone relinquished the paper.

  Indeed, front page news. The article blazed out, reporting with relish that there were links between young missing girls and a possible sex ring. Parents of one of the girls had gone to the police with a DVD they’d found among their missing daughter’s belongings in her room. Damning in itself, the DVD had visual proof of several young girls no older than fourteen indulging in sex acts with masked men. The parents had immediately spoken to the newspapers to warn other parents of the dangers, to monitor their kids closely.

  The AFP would be furious that word had gotten out. Hopefully they could salvage something as there was no mention of identifying suspects, the men being masked, but it would put the club members on alert.

  Ella felt sick. Sick and incredibly small. Jesus, she’d been moping around about being left in the dark and meanwhile those girls were being abused.

  “Terrible, just terrible.” Mrs Featherstone shook her head.

  “Yes.” Feeling worse by the minute, Ella returned the newspaper to her.

  “What a world we live in today.” Tsking, Mrs Featherstone cast a glance around. “Your beau not here, dear?”

  “No. No, he’s at work.” Ella made a show of checking her wrist watch. “Is that the time? Speaking of work, I have to get ready.” Bidding her neighbour goodbye, Ella retreated inside.

  What was Rose thinking now? Doing? Was she at home? Watching her father? Cripes, she hoped her friend was being careful, if anyone caught her snooping while that newspaper article flared across the country, she hated to think what might happen. Knowing she was under Wells Security surveillance was comforting, but she still wished she could see her, talk to her. However, Ryan was right, it was too dangerous, even more so now.

  “I’ll be glad when this is over, Boof.” She gave the cat a smooch right beside his one ear before setting him down in front of his food bowl. “As soon as it is, I’m on that plane to see her.”

  Meanwhile, she had an apology to make, one she should have done a lot sooner. Dialling Ryan’s mobile, she waited. Getting the message bank, she said, “Hey, it’s Ella. I’m really sorry about last night. I just… Well, I’m sorry. You were right, I was wrong, and a bitch besides. So…you know.” She paused. “Okay, not too good at this. Hope you’re okay, whatever you’re doing. Saving the world, a life, doing paperwork. Catch you later. Bye.” Hanging up the phone, she grimaced. A gracious apologiser she wasn’t. And man, she hated answering machines. How could you leave a proper message on an answering machine? Talking to oneself was one thing, talking to an inanimate object a whole other ball game.

  After having a quick bite to eat, she changed her clothes and headed out to work. She was just putting her bag in the locker at the back of the service station when her mobile rang. “Hello?”

  “Ryan.”

  She sighed. “Hey. I’m sorry. You know, about yesterday.”

  “It’s okay, Ella mine.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “It is.”

  “I should have rung and apologised this morning.” She fiddled with the strap of her bag. “You’re too good to me.”

  “I’ll make sure you make it up to me.”

  Relaxing, she laughed.

  “Ella, did you see the newspaper?”

  “Yeah. Crap’s hit the fan, huh?”

  “Yes. Rose hasn’t contacted you?”

  “No. She’s okay, isn’t she?”

  “She’s fine.”

  “Good. So good to hear.”

  “Ella, it’s important that if you notice anything unusual, even just a little odd, that you let us know immediately.”

  Her hand tightened on the mobile. “What’s wrong?”

  “With this cracking like it has done, the consequences are unpredictable. You’re being watched closely by our guards, you’ll be safe, but keep alert regardless.”

  “Okay.”

  “I have to go.”

  “No worries. I’ll see you later.”

  “Love you, Ella mine.” Before she could reply, he’d hung up.

  Feeling better knowing Rose was okay and that Ryan had accepted her apology, Ella went through into the main area of the service station.

  The night pretty much went as usual - people fuelled up, called in on their way home from work and pubs and clubs, young people, older people, a couple of families. She rung up their purchases, vacuumed and mopped, stacked shelves, worked alongside Cassidy, the young assistant manager, until he finally went out back to attend paperwork.

  An ambulance went past, sirens blaring, and she watched it disappear into the traffic. Restless, she tapped the box of cereal in her hand.

  Her plans had never really gone past bringing down that perverted club with its bastard members, but now things had been taken out of her hands. Maybe it would wrap up soon. Then what? Did she really want to spend her life working night shifts in a service station? It was a good job, but now that she wasn’t planning, piecing together whatever she could with Rose, she found her mind not as challenged.

  Frankly, she was growing bored.

  She looked around at the empty building, the cold lights overhead, the shelves of food, snacks and sundry pieces. The fuel bowsers in the empty lot outside, the cars driving past.

  Well, wasn’t that a turn-up for the books? When this was all over, just what did she want to do with her life? Apart from be with Ryan, of course. That was a no-brainer, Ryan would always come first. But he had his job, and she wanted something, too.

  There were young girls out there who didn’t have a life ahead of them, though. Young girls abused, their trust betrayed, their bodies lying in some lonely grave out in the bush somewhere. They had nothing. She still had her life, had Ryan, had Boof.

  Compared to them, she had everything.

  Soberly, she returned to stacking the shelves. The gradual shift of the weather outside suited her mood, a light sprinkle of rain filtering down through the glow of the street lights to slick the bitumen. When she went outside to check the tyres for an elderly couple, the chill of the rainy night made her leg ache a little.

  But she had nothing to complain about compared to those girls.

  ~*~

  Pulling up outside her house in the early morning, she saw Ryan’s car in the driveway. He didn’t normally come around when she returned from work so her curiosity was piqued.

  Walking through the door, she called out, “Honey, I’m home!”

  “In the kitchen.”

  She entered to find Ryan perched on one of the stools at the kitchen bench and Boof doing a Sphinx impersonation on one of the kitchen chairs, his eyes half c
losed. There was no missing the empty food bowl, the faint smell of salmon in the air.

  Ella smiled at Ryan. “You fed him.”

  “I thought it a good plan to win him over.”

  “You already have. He’d have bitten you a long time ago otherwise.” Placing her bag on the bench, she dropped a kiss on his cheek and plucked the glass of apple juice from his hand. “Thanks.”

  He nudged the paper bag at his elbow. “Brought us breakfast.”

  “Really?” She peeked into the bag. “Smells good.”

  “Ham and cheese croissants.”

  “Yum.” Taking the stool next to him, she leaned her elbows on the bench.

  Taking the croissants out of the bag, he handed her one.

  Taking a big bite, she sighed blissfully, moaning around a mouthful, “Sooo good.”

  The corners of his eyes crinkled in amusement as he took a more respectful bite and chewed.

  After swallowing another mouthful, she looked at him. “So.”

  He took a sedate sip of the apple juice they were apparently now sharing from the one glass.

  “This is all very wonderful, but to what do I owe the pleasure of this morning visit?”

  “Eat first.”

  “Is this conversation going to make me mad?”

  Holding his hand out flat, he waggled it. Maybe, maybe not.

  The man wasn’t going to reveal anything until he was ready. But he wasn’t annoyed or angry, seemed okay, so she thoughtfully continued eating.

  Silence filled the kitchen as they ate, Boof’s purring a rusty accompaniment.

  When they’d both finished, Ryan took her paper, balled it up with his and dropped it into the paper bag. Giving his thumb and forefinger a lick to get off the crumbs, he swivelled around on the stool to focus on her.

  She waited with eyebrows raised inquiringly.

  “I want you to come and stay with me,” he said.

  Surprised, she repeated, “With you?”

  “I’m not pushing for us to move in together. It’s not that.”

  “Well, you’ll have to be a bit clearer. If you’re not pushing for us to move in together, why are you asking me to stay with you?”

  “Make no mistake, Ella, I want you to live with me. I was - am - okay to wait until you’re ready.”

  “All right.” Intrigued, she watched him.

  “But with everything that’s happening with this case, I want you under my roof.”

  She blinked. “What? Why?”

  “My house is more secure than here. I have bars on the windows, alarms, security monitoring all the time.” Reaching out, he laid a hand over hers. “I’m there more than here.”

  Ella chewed her bottom lip.

  “Don’t. You’ll hurt yourself.” Reaching out, Ryan gently rubbed her bottom lip to stop the involuntary action. “Is it such a horrible idea?”

  “Horrible? No. No, far from it.” Catching his hand, she linked her fingers through his. “I just…I guess I thought when I moved in, it would be under different circumstances.”

  “It’s all right if you want separate bedrooms, Ella. I know you want to take this slower.”

  “Is that what you want? Separate bedrooms?”

  There was a definite heat kindling in his eyes before the cool shutter came down and hid it. “No.”

  Switching her gaze to his hand, she studied it. Big hand, long fingers, short, clean nails. A capable hand. A scar ran faintly along the back of it. Right hand. Trigger finger. A strong hand that had wielded a gun, a knife, a rifle, goodness knew what other weapon, all in the name of protecting others, doing duties no one else wanted to do.

  Protecting. Just as he sought to protect her now. “You really think this whole mess is going to get that dangerous?”

  “There’s always a possibility.”

  “You don’t know for sure.”

  “I’m not prepared to risk you.”

  His answer warmed her. She rubbed her thumb back and forth along the back of his hand. “I can’t leave Boof behind.”

  “His coming was never in question.”

  “You really want me to come after the way I acted the other night?” A little embarrassed, she glanced up.

  His eyes were serious. “Ella, every couple rubs each other up the wrong way sometimes. Two people living together, it’s inevitable. We’re individuals. It doesn’t mean we don’t work through it, can’t forgive each other. If you remember, even when we lived together before we argued at times.”

  Yeah, that was true.

  “Being older and wiser doesn’t mean we’re perfect.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  “I am right.”

  “So sure of yourself.” She grinned slightly.

  “On this, yes.”

  She wanted to shift in with him. It had really just been a matter of time, hadn’t it? But she wondered how he’d feel if he knew the reason for her anger the other night. What he’d think. Would he be angry in turn? Disgusted?

  “What’s wrong, Ella mine?” His thumb brushed along her chin.

  “I just…”

  “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

  “Yeah, well I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint you, Ryan. Hell, I disappointed myself.”

  Attention focussed on her, he waited, both of his hands now holding hers.

  Unable to meet his eyes, Ella looked away. “I was angry the other night because I feel like everything is happening around me and I’m not a part of it. At first I and Rose were in the forefront. We talked, shared information, I gave it to the feds. Then the feds came in and took over. I know it’s the way it had to happen.” She cast him a quick peek.

  He nodded encouragingly.

  “It was, as Rose said, just a matter of time. But meanwhile it was my revenge, Ryan. It was me and Rose dragging these bastards down one-by-one. And top of the list were the bastards who sewed me up at the trial, betrayed me. The rest was a bloody huge bonus.” Ella sighed. “Knowing I was helping to bring them down, to face some kind of justice, helped me. But now I’ve been shunted to the side, kept in a neat little safe zone while Rose still works with the feds, still helps.” Miserably, she lifted her gaze to his. “How selfish is that, Ryan? I’m feeling sorry for myself, feeling all left out while girls are still suffering. One minute I’m happy, glad knowing the law is at work, that people are intent on bringing down this club and saving these girls. But on the other hand I want to be there in the thick of it, a part of it like I originally was.”

  She’d half expected some sigh of impatience, a little disgust - God knew she wouldn’t blame him, she disgusted herself - but instead she saw understanding. It was no surprise then, when he gave her hands a gentle tug.

  Ella slid off the stool to stand between his thighs, welcoming his arms enfolding her. Leaning into him, she rested her chin on his broad shoulder, sliding her arms around his neck, breathing in his scent.

  “I understand, Ella mine.” One big hand massaged her spine gently. “I totally understand. You and Rose have become close, worked so hard. You’ve supported each other. To do all that, know what you did, what you went through, exacting that revenge, it’s only natural that you’d be angry at having to step aside and watch someone else take over. Being cut-off from your friend, from knowledge of what is happening, to only read about it in the newspaper, is unfair.” His hand rubbed soothingly. “But it is what it is, Ella. For these men to face justice it has to be done the right way and fast.”

  “Yeah, and me feeling sorry for myself while girls suffer, that sucks lemons.” She cringed. “How bloody selfish am I?”

  “Human nature is a funny thing. While you want to see justice delievered, you want to give it out yourself. Sometimes the need for revenge can cloud our view. But Ella, you do care about those girls or you wouldn’t be feeling so guilty about your own feelings.”

  Turning her head, she rested her face against his neck. “You’re sweet to say so.”

  �
�No. It’s a fact. Just as it’s a fact that to help these girls, to get justice for both yourself and them, you need to have patience to wait for the outcome, to know that you and Rose started this. No regrets, no guilt. You will get your justice, and through your actions and Rose’s, those girls will get their justice.”

  She hugged him closer. “You always know how to make me feel better.”

  “Because I’ve been where you are. I know that feeling of having to hand over to someone else. But in the Army I quickly learned that a team works together, that each member has a job to do and to respect another’s position, steps aside when required for the job to be done, to step up when it’s your turn. It’s a team effort, Ella. Your job is done, Rose’s almost, and the other members of the team are better equipped to take these bastards down.”

  Exhaling deeply, she lifted her head enough to meet his eyes. No judgement, no condemnation, no hiding anything. The only thing she saw there was understanding and acceptance.

  All she could say was, “I love you.”

  Those brown eyes softened. “Love you too, Ella mine.”

  His kiss was gentle, all tenderness making warmth coil through her.

  When their lips parted, she whispered, “Guess I’d better pack some stuff, huh?”

  “I’ll help.”

  “Don’t you have to go to work?”

  “I worked a call-out last night. I go back to work tomorrow morning.”

  “In that case, I hope you’ve got some strength in these weedy little arms.” She squeezed a bulging bicep.

  He smiled. “I’ll survive.”

  ~*~

  Music beat heavily through the night, the rock concert in full swing.