“I ate half of it for breakfast. Thank you,” he said.
The smile on Rachel’s face warmed Kate’s heart. The boy done good. Kate gave a small nod before hearing the slam of the kitchen door. She turned slightly to watch Jack wink at her as he came towards their table.
She shouldn’t have doubted the boy. Rachel deserved to be treated like a queen and she had no doubt Nathan was the man to do it, once he let go of his anger. Until then…Kate shook her head. Everyone had their own personal journey to follow.
Jack laid out plates of freshly made waffles covered with strawberries on the table. For Rachel, Jack added some whipped cream on the side. He tended to indulge Rachel in her sweet tooth whenever he could. Kate gave Jack’s hand a squeeze before he turned away.
“Honey, would you mind bringing over a fresh pot of coffee? I think we’re going to need it. None of that decaf stuff you try to sneak on me, you hear?” Kate said. Jack’s eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled at her.
She turned her attention to Nathan. She needed to know he could handle her next words. She’d minded her thoughts for a while now, waiting for the right moment. After Jack’s lashing earlier, adding her own two cents wouldn’t hurt. She just prayed he was ready for it.
“Honey, last night you plum scared me. I couldn’t sleep all night ‘cause I was so worried. I think something’s going on and its time you paid attention.”
Nathan dropped his head onto his hands and sighed. Raking one hand through his hair, he glanced over at Rachel. “I am paying attention.”
“Are you?” She knew there’d been a demon in the diner. What bothered her is that she didn’t sense it. Why Nathan?
“I’m not blind. I know what I saw.” Nathan leaned back and took a sip of his coffee. “I don’t understand it. Why me? I’m a nobody. Certainly not a threat. So why would I be seeing demons and not you?” He pushed his coffee cup away. “Don’t tell me God is trying to get my attention. He had it years ago and He walked away from me, not the other way around.”
Off to the side a ‘harrumph’ sounded.
“What did I tell you earlier, boy?” Jack said. “You should be thanking those lucky stars of yours God hasn’t given up on you yet. Instead of loving you the way He does and putting up with your foolishness, He should be giving you a good time out like the young parents today do. Why, in my day you would have been taken out to the old woodshed--”
“It’s a good thing your parents aren’t around to hear you say this,” Kate said, interrupting him. “Your parents didn’t even have a woodshed, you old grump.”
“Harrumph,” Jack grunted as he turned away. The bell on the diner’s front door jingled, alerting him to a new customer’s arrival.
The three occupants of the booth sat in silence for a minute. Kate waited for Nathan to speak first. Rachel only bowed her head.
Nathan grabbed his coffee cup again, took a sip and set the cup back down on the table with a thud. “I lost my wife and child. Where was God on that night? I’ve moved on. I can’t forget what happened, but it’s in the past. I’m ready to move forward with my life. Doesn’t mean I have to ask God to hold my hand while I do it. I don’t trust him. Not anymore. I don’t think I ever will.”
“Then I feel sorry for you,” Rachel whispered. A sheen of unshed tears welled in her eyes and an unrecognized anger welled up inside of Kate.
“You can’t blame God for what happened to you. Those were man-made choices, not God-ordained ones.” Kate clenched her fist as she struggled to keep her voice low and level.
Nathan shook his head. “There was no reason for Sue to veer off the road that night. She grew up in these mountains. I don’t care what anyone says. She didn’t just drive off the side of Crow Mountain. She was killed. God could have protected her. Where were her angels that night? They did nothing to protect her. Nothing.”
Nathan pushed himself away from the table and stood. Kate reached her hand out to stop him, but before she could, something large hit the window and Rachel screamed.
*****
A shudder ran through Nathan’s body as he stood mesmerized at the window. He couldn’t believe what he was looking at. Within a span of less than fifteen minutes, the world he’d known outside had changed. Drastically.
What had earlier been a grey, dismal type of day was now hell on earth.
The sky illuminated an eerie blood red sun hidden behind midnight black clouds. Large heavy clouds blew in over the mountains and hid the sun, casting an demonic glow.
Thump. Thud.
Dead crows fell from the sky, their lifeless bodies covering the street outside.
He glanced at the park and saw another body lying on the ground.
Eva!
Nathan bolted towards the front door only to be stopped by Jack who stood in his way.
“Rachel needs you. There’s nothing you can do for the dead birds.”
Nathan glanced behind him. Kate had her arm around Rachel while they stared outside.
“She’s fine. Eva is out in the park.” He pushed at Jack who refused to move. “Get out of my Jack. She needs help.” He waited till Jack moved before he pushed on the door and stepped outside. “Call the ambulance,” he called over his shoulder.
Nathan quickly glanced up into the sky. The crows were falling out of nowhere. What the hell? Sidestepping and praying to God he didn’t get hit, Nathan raced across the street and over to the park where Eva lay on the ground, curled up into herself.
It took him a moment, but he realized that all around Eva, the grass was clear. Everywhere Nathan looked, dead birds littered the ground, but around Eva, there was nothing.
Kneeling down, he gathered Eva into his arms. “Are you okay?” She rolled her face towards his chest, her body heaving. A deep overwhelming need to care for her filled him. Fear stoked his heart as she sobbed in his arms. He didn’t know what was wrong or who had hurt her, but he’d never seen Eva broken like this. Never.
“Tell him to stop.” Eva gripped the collar of his jacket and raised herself up in his arms. He stared into her eyes, unable to look away. Her irises were so dark, he would have sworn they turned black.
“Tell who?”
“He has to stop. He’s killing them for no reason,” she sobbed. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.” Eva released his collar and collapsed back in his arms.
Nathan gathered her close and rocked her. “Who, Eva?” He whispered against her hair.
A shudder ripped through her body. “M--”
“Nathan!” Rachel screamed his name, the sound reverberating through the park.
Nathan whipped his head around, his arms tightening their hold in Eva.
Rachel stood outside the cafe, her arm outstretched as if reaching for him, horror etched on her face as she screamed his name again.
Time stood still as Nathan turned to view where she was pointing. The large walnut tree located in the middle of the park had uprooted and teetered. A sudden gust of wind picked up and whipped around the tree, the leaves on the ground funneling into a cloud around where he sat. Nathan’s body froze as he watched the tree tip towards where he sat on the ground with Eva.
Move! Nephilim, son of Morax, move!
Nathan’s eyes widened as a dead crow rose from the ground, flapped it’s black wings and hovered a foot away from where he sat. The dead crow spoke to him. The. Dead. Crow. Spoke.
“Move, Nathan. We have to move,” the heavy weight in his arms struggled against his hold. He glanced down at the woman he’d briefly forgotten. Eva’s face scrunched as she fought against him.
“Move damn it. I’m not ready to die.” She pushed her hands against his chest, forcing him to fall backwards. His arms let go and as he fell, Eva sprang to her feet. She reached down, grabbed his hand and hauled him upwards.
They weren’t going to make it. The crow uttered a sharp ‘caw’ before rising in the air. Eva yanked on his hand, forcing him to jump out of the way. A gust of wind shoved at his back, pushing
him further than he thought possible. He landed with a thud on the grass, his breath knocked out of him.
“You idiot! Why did you stop?” Eva sat beside him, hunched over her knees, her hair windblown and filled with dry leaves.
Nathan rolled over to his side and raised himself up. His whole body felt bruised. He stared, amazed at the old walnut tree. It landed exactly where Nathan and Eva had sat, it’s branches broken and scattered all over the park. There was a large empty hole where the tree once stood.
“Eva. The crows…” Nathan stood and turned, searching the park and the main street for the black bodies. But there were none. None. All the crows had vanished.
Eva slowly stood to her feet, brushing off her jeans. “They’re gone.” Her eyes closed as a smile graced her face. She raised her face up to the sky and laughed. “I knew you couldn’t kill them,” she whispered.
Nathan took a step towards her. “Who are you talking to?” None of this made sense to him.
Biting her lip, Eva reached her hand out. Nathan took it, winding his fingers through hers. The warmth of her skin wove its way up through his arm and into his heart. Like always.
“Nathan, we need to—” Eva’s eyes narrowed before she dropped his hand and stepped back.
Before he could remark on the closed look in her eyes, arms closed around his chest and squeezed. He glanced down at the small wrists wrapped around him. Rachel.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she mumbled behind his back as her head rested against him. He turned and wrapped his arms around her small frame. Her hair barely came up to his chin.
Nathan rested his chin on Rachel’s head as he watched Eva back away. The wink she threw at him before tossing her hair threw him for a loop. He wanted to let Rachel go and run after Eva, but something inside of him held him back. Something always held him back. He couldn’t understand it. It was as if his heart belonged to two different women no matter how hard he fought it.
Rachel needed to be loved. She deserved to be protected, kept safe. Cherished. Her pure heart didn’t deserve his blacked one, yet no matter how hard he tried to keep her at a distance, she was always there. Waiting. She believed that there was more to him than there was. She saw something in him that even he couldn’t see. She believed in him. Or rather in who she thought he could be.
Eva, on the other hand, accepted who he had become and didn’t try to change him. It was as if she knew the scars were too deep. She didn’t try to change him or push him. She didn’t need him. But she wanted him. Or at least, he thought she did. She was one woman who got him so twisted he wasn’t sure what he wanted or didn’t want.
No one, not even Sue, had done that to him.
He rubbed his hand in a circular motion on Rachel’s back as he watched Eva stride her motorcycle. He had no doubt he’d be seeing her again. He had some questions she needed to answer. A quick glance at the ground confirmed that.
CHAPTER TEN
Nathan walked through his empty house, thankful for the white noise of the radio in the background. After leaving Rachel in Kate and Jack’s tender hands, he escaped the carnage of the park and drove for a long time down the back streets and mountain roads. He needed time to decompress, to understand what had happened.
Everyone there had seen the carnage that littered the street and park. The dead crows weren’t a figment of his imagination. So how could they just disappear?
Rachel said she’d seen them all fly away after the walnut tree had fallen. But how was that possible? Why didn’t he notice? The ground had literally been a sea of black feathers one moment, and clear the next. They didn’t fly away. They disappeared.
He didn’t even want to think about the fact one had spoken to him. Nathan ran his fingers through his hair. He wasn’t going crazy. He couldn’t be. He only thought the crow had spoken to him.
His breath hitched in his throat. He had to be crazy. Either way he looked at it, a speaking crow or thinking the crow spoke - he’d lost his mind.
He roamed through the house, unable to settle in one spot and paused at the one door that had stayed closed since the day Sue died. He reached his hand out, but it faltered before falling down to his side. He bowed his head before bending forward and resting it against the door.
His life had changed in one moment. He wished for the clock to turn back, for choices to be remade. He wished for the innocent belief he’d once held towards God.
That one awful moment held the power to not only change his life, but his faith.
Nathan stood that way before he exhaled and stepped backwards. Every day he tried to open the door and to step inside. Every day at the last moment he wouldn’t, couldn’t, open the door. He wasn’t ready yet to face those inner demons.
He headed towards his study and sat in his chair. Nathan loved his study. He picked up a book and reread the first page for the fourth time before setting the book down.
Kate said you couldn’t turn back time, that you had learn to let go and ‘let God’. But letting God do anything was pointless. No matter how hard you believed, no matter how good of a life you lead, it didn’t matter. Rachel believes that things happen for a reason. But what reason does death hold? Jack said Sue’s death was accidental. That it was no ones fault. But he was wrong. It was God’s fault. Nathan believed that with all his heart.
The road conditions had been pristine that night. Sue knew the mountain roads like the back of her hand and would never speed through the windy trails. Especially being pregnant. Keeping their child safe was all that mattered to Sue. She would never purposefully kill herself and their child. Never.
He knew all the platitudes, all the right things to say. He used to be a pastor. Of course he knew what scriptures to quote and what words to pray. Didn’t mean they were real, or even true.
He would never admit God wasn’t at fault. It should be God’s fault. Nathan gave up everything for him. Sacrificed everything.
Nathan’s hand fisted and he punched down on the arm of his chair. He even sacrificed his mother, all in the name of God.
This time there was no sacrificial lamb to the rescue.
No. God could shout it from the rooftops. Send an angel to stop him in his tracks. Visit him face to face. Have bloody crows speak to him. Didn’t matter. Demons or not, folklore be damned, Nathan didn’t want to hear God’s reasonings.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Nathan perused the books on his shelves. Maybe now was the time to get rid of some of the stuff he would never use again. His Biblical Thesaurus, Greek translations and references weren’t for the everyday life. Jim, the interim pastor they brought in to cover Nathan’s absence after he stepped down could probably use them.
On the top shelf were some old books he’d inherited from the previous pastor, next to the box of journals found in Sue’s vehicle on the night of her death. The box had been taped shut when he received it and it remained that way today. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to read his wife’s inner thoughts. What if he found the truth to her death? What if she did kill herself?
He blocked off those thoughts. She didn’t. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Not with their child in her womb.
Nathan reached for the old books and set the bulk of five on his desk. The top one was an old black leather journal, creases covering the spine and front cover. As he opened the first page he wrinkled his nose as a musty smell wafted from the open pages.
“Dated July 20, 1901: My first day as the spiritual head for the townsfolk of Redemption. This is a God-ordained position that will not accept failure. I eagerly anticipate a transition from Reverend Somer to myself, trusting that the Reverend has prepared his flock to receive a new spiritual head. I have been adequately warned regarding the history of this town and understand the grave duty I carry. This town will not turn from the glory of the Lord while under my watchful eye. I know the signs, understand the temperament of an unhealthy church and will not allow this to happen again.”
The last word leapt out at Nathan.
Again. As if the pastor had been through this before. He flipped ahead to the middle of the book and what he read shocked him.
“November 9, 1902: I have failed. I have lived a lie for the past thirty years. I know the Word of God, yet have not held it as close to my heart as I should. Why else would this tragedy befall me. My faith is weak, my character downtrodden by the temperamental congregation that I serve. My only option is to hand in my resignation. Reverend Somer told me that it was God who appointed the minister to this church built for refuge, but I cannot believe that this post was ordained for me.”
Nathan searched the previous pages to see what tragedy happened to this unnamed pastor, and when he found no clue, he searched ahead and only found blank pages. That was the last entry in the journal.
He picked up another journal. This one was dated February, 1939 and the minister was Reverend Scheldt. The beginning of the journal sounded similar to the previous one, excitement with the new position, full of dreams and aspirations for the church and its community. Nathan flipped to the middle of the journal and still found a minister who was excited about his calling. It appeared he held a real love for the congregation. He flipped through a few more pages, this time landing almost at the back of the journal. Dated Christmas Day 1941, almost two years into his pastorate, he wrote,
“Christmas Day, a day filled with joy and hope, celebration for the birth of our Savior. Yet today, it is one filled with sadness and despair. Today, instead of celebrating our Savior’s birth, I am mourning the loss of my wife. I can find no words to describe my sorrow. My congregation, the same ones who killed my wife, have tried to shelter me, to console me and hold me up in prayer, but I find their prayers abhorrent, their consolation repugnant and my only wish is to be left in peace.”
Nathan couldn’t believe what he was reading. Here was someone else who understood what he was going through, someone with whom he could relate. He grabbed the books and sat down on the couch.
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