William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back

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William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back Page 7

by Ian Doescher

But hold one moment, something seems awry,

  For blaster fire should not cause walls to shake.

  [Han shoots the cave wall, and the ground shakes mightily.

  O, horror, for I now do understand:

  The cave doth quake whenever it is shot.

  But what knows rock of pain, or stone of hurt?

  Whenever did a cave feel anything?

  Impossible it is, unless this cave

  Is much more than a cave. [To Leia and Chewbacca:] Pray, go inside!

  [They run into the Millennium Falcon.

  With speed now, Chewie, let us fly away!

  LEIA

  [following Han to the cockpit:] The Empire is without, we should not go—

  HAN

  We’ve no time to discuss this in committee.

  LEIA

  O, fie! Thou scoundrel, I am no committee!

  [They arrive in the cockpit and start the ship.

  See reason! For thou canst not make the jump

  To lightspeed midst this field of asteroids.

  HAN

  Make sure thy back end finds a seat—we go!

  [They begin to leave the cave, which is actually an exogorth, or space slug. Its mouth begins to close.

  Enter C-3PO.

  C-3PO

  Observe! We are destroy’d!

  HAN

  —I see it plain.

  C-3PO

  O, we are doom’d!

  LEIA

  —The cave, it doth collapse!

  HAN

  This is no cave, and I am not its food.

  Now we do fly—another close escape!

  [Exeunt C-3PO, Han Solo, Princess Leia, and

  Chewbacca in the Milennium Falcon, flying out

  of exogorth’s mouth and leaving it alone on stage.

  EXOGOR.

  Alas, another meal hath fled and gone,

  And in the process I am sorely hurt.

  These travelers who have escap’d my reach

  Us’d me past the endurance of a block!

  My stomach they did injure mightily

  With jabs and pricks, as though a needle were

  A’bouncing in my belly. O cruel Fate!

  To be a space slug is a lonely lot,

  With no one on this rock to share my life,

  No true companion here to mark my days.

  And now my meals do from my body fly—

  Was e’er a beast by supper so abus’d?

  Was e’er a creature’s case so pitiful?

  Was e’er an exogorth as sad as I?

  Was e’er a tragedy as deep as mine?

  I shall with weeping crawl back to my cave,

  Which shall, sans food, belike become my grave.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 5.

  The Dagobah system.

  Enter YODA, R2-D2, and LUKE SKYWALKER, training.

  LUKE

  [aside:] This Yoda is indeed a teacher wise,

  And hath agreed to train me in the way

  Of Jedi. Strong and quick I show myself—

  With leaps and flips I train my body and

  Instill within a Jedi’s discipline.

  Aye, with the Force I like a sand bat fly.

  My spirit feeleth free, my muscles strong,

  My mind is calm inside, my heart is still.

  What gratitude I feel toward this new

  And treasur’d mentor. Thus I train my best—

  His expectations I’ll not disappoint.

  YODA

  Now run, indeed, run!

  A Jedi’s strength doth surely

  Come from the Force, Luke.

  But mind the dark side.

  Anger, fear, aggression—from

  The dark side are they.

  Easily they flow,

  Quick to join you in a fight.

  Aye, they do not fail!

  Once on the dark path,

  Forever shall it control

  Thy destiny, Luke.

  It shall consume thee,

  As it did the apprentice

  Of good Obi-Wan.

  LUKE

  Darth Vader: legendary is his pow’r.

  But Master, hath the dark side greater strength?

  YODA

  Nay, nay—forsooth: nay.

  ’Tis quicker, easier, more

  Seductive only.

  LUKE

  But how, good master, shall I know the good

  Side from the bad, the darkness from the light?

  YODA

  Thou shalt know, my lad,

  When thou art calm and passive.

  [Aside:] I hope thou shalt know.

  When fac’d with terror,

  And with thy father’s grim fate,

  I hope thou shalt know.

  [To Luke:] A Jedi uses

  The Force only for knowledge

  And defense. Is’t clear?

  The Force is no club,

  Neither is it a weapon

  Us’d for attacking.

  LUKE

  Yet it is still a weapon for defense.

  So wherefore may I not the Force employ—

  YODA

  Nay, there’s no wherefore.

  Nothing more shall come today.

  From thy questions, rest.

  LUKE

  [aside:] Reliev’d am I this training to complete,

  If only for this day, which hath been years.

  But is this not a strange and troubling thing?

  Where only moments past I felt at ease,

  Now there’s some sprite within that troubles me—

  A chill, a solemn aura in my bones.

  I would not much ado o’er nothing make,

  But still shall I ask Yoda what it is.

  [To Yoda:] I feel a cold, a presage here of death.

  What is it that I sense within this place?

  [Yoda points to the opening of a cave.

  YODA

  With the Force’s dark side

  Is that place yonder quite strong.

  A place of evil.

  Discover thou shalt

  That wherever good is found,

  Evil is nearby.

  Here on Dagobah

  ’Tis also so. For e’en here

  That evil place is.

  Bound thou art now, Luke,

  To enter it, and face its

  Deepest darknesses.

  LUKE

  But Sir, I prithee, tell me: what’s within?

  YODA

  Only that which thou

  Shalt take away with thee, Luke.

  [Luke begins to enter the cave, carrying his weapons.

  Take not thy weapons.

  R2-D2

  Beep, meep, meep, squeak, beep, whistle, meep,

  beep, nee!

  [Luke enters, bringing his weapons, as Yoda and R2-D2 remain outside.

  LUKE

  What twists of knotted vines and tangl’d fates

  Await me in this hole? I shall go in,

  And prove that I am not afraid of it,

  Nor any task or misadventure here.

  What evil can await I have not seen?

  For I have facèd evil enemies

  Who kill’d my mentor and my family.

  What evil in this place can greater be?

  Now doth time seem to slowly beat its pace.

  And all is like a thick and restless dream.

  But wait, who comes unto this deep, dark place?

  It moves with grace—is it my father good?

  Enter shadow of DARTH VADER.

  Nay, nay, how I have been deceiv’d, abus’d!

  For it is Vader here, my greatest foe,

  The cruel defiler of my father’s youth.

  I stand preparèd to do battle as

  A Jedi, full of rage and righteous hate.

  Now up, lightsaber, light my keen revenge!

  Lay on, Darth Vader, damnèd henchman vile.

  And now we fight! Yet seems it that my limbs
r />   Are made of stone—but he is slower still!

  I see my chance to strike, and let it fall—

  The blow that shall release my father’s soul.

  Now Vader’s head doth fall onto the ground

  And I feel no relief, but only pain.

  The mask doth split, his visage to reveal!

  O, I shall see the face that kill’d a man,

  That kill’d a thousand fathers like my own.

  But wait, what is this here—and can it be?

  This is no face of Vader: ’tis my face!

  The horror, O the horror! Darker yet

  That e’er I had imagin’d possible.

  The greatest evil I may face—myself!

  [Exit Luke, in fear.

  YODA

  Now hath he seen it,

  And he shall ever see it

  Till he sees it through.

  [Exit Yoda.

  R2-D2

  O strange and somber night that falleth here—

  My master Luke all out of sorts from what

  He spies inside this hole. What lesson is

  It Yoda hath reveal’d to him inside?

  I would that I my master could protect,

  But such is not the role I have to play.

  And thus, since I may not protector be,

  My path shall be to play the fool and watch:

  I shall maintain my droidlike silence and

  Bear witness as the boy becomes the man,

  The learner doth become the Jedi true.

  Content yourself with this, R2, and rest,

  For other times than these require your best.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 6.

  Space, aboard the Empire’s Super Star Destroyer and the Millennium Falcon.

  Enter ADMIRAL PIETT and IMPERIAL CONTROLLER, with DARTH VADER and BOUNTY HUNTERS, including BOBA FETT, aside, aboard the Super Star Destroyer.

  PIETT

  These bounty hunters, O they reek! We have

  No need for their most wretched scum.

  CONTROL.

  —Aye, Sir.

  PIETT

  The rebels surely shall not ’scape us now.

  CONTROL.

  We have been hail’d by the Avenger ship.

  PIETT

  Now let us hear it.

  VADER

  —There shall be rewards

  Aplenty for the one who finds the swift

  Millenn’um Falcon. Ye may use whate’er

  Approaches, weapons, means, or what ye will,

  But mark ye well: I want them all alive.

  [To Boba Fett:] There shall be no disintegrations. Clear?

  FETT

  As you wish. [Aside:] The darkest Sith that e’er

  did live, and I am his choice to find those he cannot.

  Yet who am I? A mere bounty hunter like the others

  here? Nay, far more. I am Boba Fett, the vilest,

  fiercest, most deadly hunter in the galaxy. More

  than that, Darth Vader knows that I shall serve

  him well and faithfully in the pursuit of Solo. He

  knoweth well that Boba Fett doth worship at sweet

  compensation’s throne, and would happily

  betray my own kin to earn the great reward

  that hath been promis’d. I would kill Solo

  without a thought, for what is he to me?

  Disintegrations, indeed. I would disintegrate,

  disembowel, dismember, destroy utterly Han Solo,

  for I know him not nor care what he hath done

  to earn Darth Vader’s ire and the scorn of Jabba

  of the Hutt. I shall play my bounty hunter’s part,

  obey the dark lord, take my prize from the Empire,

  and receive a second prize on the dunes of Tatooine.

  A double prize—’tis wonderful a bounty hunter to be.

  PIETT

  [to Darth Vader:] My Lord, the ship hath been discoverèd!

  [Exeunt Darth Vader, Boba Fett, other bounty hunters, Admiral Piett, and Imperial Controller.

  Enter HAN SOLO, CHEWBACCA, PRINCESS LEIA, and C-3PO aboard the Millennium Falcon.

  C-3PO

  O, praise the maker! We are venturing

  Out of the ast’roid field, and are alive—

  Miraculous! [Aside:] I almost am convinc’d

  That Captain Solo bears a hero’s air.

  HAN

  Now let us hence. Chewbacca, art prepar’d

  For lightspeed?

  CHEWBAC.

  —Auugh!

  HAN

  —Now one, two, three, and go!

  [The Millennium Falcon makes a sound and fails.

  CHEWBAC.

  Egh.

  HAN

  —’Tis not fair. I say, it is not just!

  C-3PO

  [aside:] A hero, did I say? O man of folly!

  CHEWBAC.

  Auugh, auugh!

  HAN

  —The transfer circuits do not work

  ’Tis not my fault!

  LEIA

  —No lightspeed once again?

  HAN

  ’Tis not my fault. In troth, ’tis not my fault!

  C-3PO

  The rear deflector shield is compromis’d,

  And if we do sustain another hit

  Upon the ship’s back quarter, ’tis our end.

  HAN

  [aside:] ’Tis madness, this maneuver I’ll attempt.

  But desp’rate times for desp’rate measures call.

  [To Chewbacca:] Turn thou this ship around.

  CHEWBAC.

  —Egh?

  HAN

  —Turn it ’round!

  I shall put all our pow’r to shields in front.

  LEIA

  Thou wilt attack a Star Destroyer?

  C-3PO

  —Sir!

  The odds of our success in a direct

  Attack upon a Star Destroyer—

  LEIA

  —Tut!

  [Exeunt, flying toward the Star Destroyer.

  Enter CAPTAIN NEEDA, TRACKING OFFICER, and COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER.

  NEEDA

  They move into attack position—shields!

  But now, where are they gone? Pray, track them straight.

  TRACK.

  The ship’s no longer shown in any scopes.

  NEEDA

  That is impossible. No ship that small

  Hath any ways or means to cloak itself.

  Nay, they cannot, as magic, disappear.

  COMM.

  Good Captain Needa, our Lord Vader doth

  Demand an update of our keen pursuit.

  NEEDA

  [aside:] O dreaded moment. This shall mean my death.

  Farewell now, for my life’s gone with the ship.

  [To Communications Officer:] Prepare a shuttle for me. I’ll accept

  The full responsibility for their

  Escape, and shall apologize unto

  Lord Vader. Keep thy watch most vigilant.

  COMM.

  Aye, Captain Needa.

  [Exit Tracking and Communications officers.

  Enter DARTH VADER, as Captain Needa makes his way toward him.

  NEEDA

  —On thy mercy great

  I throw myself and all my hopes, dear lord.

  The great Millenn’um Falcon now is fled.

  It hath evaded even our vast fleet.

  Take my apology—

  VADER

  —The ship is lost?

  And thus thy life—dead for a ducat, dead!

  [Darth Vader chokes Captain Needa with the Force, killing him.

  The necks of fools deserve a crushing Force.

  Let this serve as thy dying lesson, Needa.

  With that last breath thy recompense is done

  And all apologies accepted.

  Enter ADMIRAL PIETT.

  PIETT

  —Lord,

  Our scan of the surround
ing area

  Is now complete, but has, alas, found naught.

  Lord, if the swift Millenn’um Falcon hath

  Made good the jump to lightspeed, it may be

  Beyond the far end of the galaxy.

  VADER

  Alert thou every Imperi’l post,

  And calculate the ship’s most likely course

  From its trajectory as it did flee.

  PIETT

  Aye, Lord, I’ll warrant we shall find them soon.

  [Exit Admiral Piett.

  VADER

  O ancestors, pray save me from these fools

  Who with their instruments and scanners could

  Not find a bantha in a womp rat’s hole.

  But calm thyself now, Vader, be at ease.

  This momentary failure may yet prove

  Most beneficial, and I’ll warrant that

  The time shall not go dully by us, for

  It shall be us’d to finalize my plans

  And think upon the moment when I shall

  Both meet and then defeat the Skywalker

  Who dares to call the Empire enemy.

  So let these rebels go for now, my soul,

  And ponder how to make their downfall whole.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 7.

  The Dagobah system.

  Enter YODA, R2-D2, and LUKE SKYWALKER, who practices lifting things with the Force.

  YODA

  Use the Force, Luke, yes.

  Now, lift thou the stone. Feel it.

  The Force within flows.

  [R2-D2 begins to beep as Luke’s ship sinks.

  Nay, listen thou not

  To the droid and all his beeps.

  Do thou concentrate!

  [Everything that was lifted falls.

  R2-D2

  Nee, nee, beep, meep, beep, squeak, squeak, whistle, squeak!

 

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