The Long Road Home Romance Collection

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The Long Road Home Romance Collection Page 22

by Judi Ann Ehresman


  “Oh, sweetheart, I think I can get that washed out with no problem. But you have also torn the waist a bit, so you must be very careful that you don’t tear it further. We’ll fix your dress together when I come out this week. Don’t worry about it, Anna. Just have a good time, but try to remember to be a lady.”

  “I will. Thank you, Miss Bess. I love you!” Her chubby arms reached around Bess’s neck briefly before she ran toward the other little girls again. As Bess watched her, she also glanced around to see if Robert had seen Anna fall. He was watching her and grinned briefly. She realized then that he had headed for Anna but backed away when he saw her run to Bess. When he nodded his thanks, she smiled back and was amazed that she felt herself flush. Goodness! You’d think I’m a schoolgirl.

  “Those children love you.” Rose made the observation with a quiet confidence. “Mother told me that you took care of their mother. It looks like they have adopted you.”

  “Hmmm, yes.” Bess paused. “They need a mother. It’s hard for me to see them having to care for themselves. I have come to care for them very much. We had such good times together, all of us. I loved their mother deeply. Other than Clara, Anita was my first close friend.”

  “Do you think Robert will marry again?” It was an innocent question. Bess searched Rose’s eyes but saw only honest curiosity there.

  “I have no idea. He loved Anita deeply. I don’t know him well, but I do admire him. He is a wonderful father to those children and was a devoted husband to Anita. I don’t know why, but it is difficult for me to imagine him with anyone else but Anita, yet the children really do need a mother. I pray for them all. I know we are not supposed to worry, but I confess to considerable concern for that precious family. I’m thankful I am still considered part of their family even though propriety says I can’t stay there any longer.”

  “I will pray with you. I feel like all I do is pray for myself anymore. So it will be good to join in prayer for someone else’s needs,” Rose said cheerfully.

  At that moment Bess knew that Rose understood her concern for the children, and her spirits lifted. Even if Robert should choose to marry Rose, Bess resolved not to be jealous of their good fortune.

  Chapter 19

  It had been a wonderful day relaxing with good friends and making new friends out of acquaintances. Bess’s cheeks smarted a bit, and she realized that, in spite of her bonnet, she had allowed her cheeks and chin to get some exposure to the sun. “How foolish,” Bess muttered out loud to herself. “A grown woman with sunburn and freckles. Such nonsense!”

  Bess and Clara were carrying the empty pots from the church picnic into the boardinghouse. Clara chuckled when she overheard Bess’s complaining. “Oh, stop grouching and look at that gorgeous moon, will you?” Clara stood on the walkway between the wagon and the back stoop, directly in Bess’s way.

  Bess glanced up. She took a deep breath. Such a glorious night! The two women watched the night sky until Bess started quietly:

  “The Man in the Moon as he sails the sky, is a very remarkable skipper;

  But he made a mistake when he tried to take a drink of milk from the Dipper.”

  Clara joined in, and they recited the old poem together:

  “He dipped it into the Milky Way, and slowly and carefully filled it;

  The Big Bear growled, and the Little Bear howled, and scared him so that he spilled it!”

  Both were silent for a minute, then Bess said, “I remember sitting on the back steps with you when it was too hot to sleep and you would say that poem to me as we looked at the moon. Do you remember?”

  “Yes. What a life we lived. But it was all we knew.” All was still for a few more minutes. Then Clara said, “Bess, I’m so sorry you grew up in that way of life. I wish I could go back and change things for you. I wish I’d had the courage to take you out of that when your mother said I could have you.” Regret made Clara’s voice soft. “I thought about taking you away when Sam told me I had to get you started. I just didn’t know what I’d do or where we’d go. I’m so very sorry.”

  “It’s all in the past now, Clara. Pastor Lewis says it’s Satan that reminds us of our regrets and failures of the past. God has taken it all away. Clara, I don’t remember much about the woman who gave birth to me, other than I was a bother to her when I did see her, but I have always been thankful that you were really my mother. I always considered I had a pretty good life—except when I crossed Gertie or Sam the wrong way. Then I wished I were a mouse and could crawl into the nearest wall.”

  The two women chuckled. They were silent again for a few minutes.

  “It sure is a beautiful night,” Bess said with a sigh.

  “It’s been an altogether good day, don’t you think?” Clara asked the rhetorical question. “Who would have thought church folks could have so much fun? You know, today I realized that, for the first time in my life, I was really having fun. We’ve had some good times before, but before we knew God, it never felt like anything was truly fun for me. It merely felt like something was wrong, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.”

  Bess tilted her head toward her friend. “Yes, but we’ve had a lot of good times since that day. Why do you say this is the first?”

  “I don’t really know,” Clara said slowly. “Perhaps today is the first time I have allowed myself to realize I am one of them. I belong. They don’t hate me for my past but accept me as one of them. For some reason, I never understood that before today.”

  “Hmmm…thinking back, I think it was Anita who helped me feel like I belonged.” Bess was thoughtful for a minute. “I went out to their farm with a lot of misgivings. But she believed in me and was proud of my every accomplishment as I learned with her instruction how to cook and keep house. She accepted me as one of the family. It didn’t take long at all to know I was truly forgiven when I was treated like that. God has truly been good to me, and I am so very grateful.”

  Clara suddenly laughed. “Here we stand with our arms full of pots, and I can’t even hug you.” She moved swiftly toward the boardinghouse. “But for now, we’d better get some water heated and these things washed. It’ll be time to start breakfast before we get to bed, if we don’t.”

  It was late when Bess finally settled into her bed. She was tired, but it had been a good day. Warmth spread through her as she relived the walk with the Sheldon children and their conversation by the stream. She prayed for each of the children and then paused before praying for Robert.

  Bess knew it was difficult for the man to care properly for the children alone. Even if she was willing to clean the house and do the laundry for them, it wasn’t the same as having a mate there to prepare meals, nurture the children constantly, and support and encourage him. Yet the thought of someone taking Anita’s place in his life frightened her—yes, even angered her a bit. Was it merely her love for the children that made her feel this way? No, she finally admitted, it was her love for Anita. There was a jealousy in Bess’s heart that she was certain was from her love for Anita, not wanting anyone to replace Anita in Robert’s heart.

  What a strange one I must be, Bess thought soberly. Being jealous on someone else’s behalf? Is this normal? She could not answer her own question, so decided to talk to God about it.

  “Loving Father, I am told You know my heart. Well, if You do, You are certainly doing better than I am. I am very confused about this whole situation with the Sheldon family. I truly want those children cared for properly, yet I don’t want someone taking Anita’s place in any of their hearts. I can’t do what Clara needs me to do and still go out and care for the family as I’d like to. And I don’t really want to be selfish about it, but I don’t look forward to another woman taking my place in their affections. I do love those children so. Lord, I am trying desperately to release them into Your care, but I’m afraid. Afraid of losing them, of losing their love to someone else. Please forgive my very selfish heart and help me to trust You completely—for their lives as well as for my
own. I truly want what is best for them, but I guess I admit that I want it to be me. I know You can work that out somehow, but I sure don’t see how. Please help me to let go of it and be able to rest, knowing the whole situation is completely in Your care.”

  Finally, Bess rested. She slept soundly and awakened refreshed. She felt lighter somehow. Then she remembered her prayer and felt as though the peace in her heart was from God. He would work for His own good in all their lives.

  That very day after the worship service, Rose rushed over to Bess and Clara as they prepared to leave the church. Breathlessly she said, “I need to talk to you. Do you have a moment?”

  “Yes, of course we do.” Clara spoke for both of them while Bess smiled encouragingly.

  “What is it, Rose? You certainly seem excited.” Bess was eager to hear what Rose had to say because Rose was so seldom this assertive.

  “Well, I’ve been thinking. I feel rather useless living with Mother and Daddy and having them take care of us, and I was wondering…well, I mean…I really enjoy cooking, and Timothy thought my cooking was plenty good…”

  Both Clara and Bess were puzzled. “It’s all right, Rose. Tell us what’s on your mind.” Bess tried to reassure Rose as her timidity got the best of her momentarily.

  “I know Bess is your main cook, but I was wondering if I could help out at all. I could maybe cook on the days Bess goes out to the Sheldon farm. Or be of some help. I would love to, well…” Again there was a breathless blush as she ducked her head momentarily, then brought it back up and bravely said, “I’d like to earn a small wage if I could and wondered if you could use the help. If you don’t need me, please don’t feel obligated.”

  “Oh, my, that’s great news!” Bess could already feel a load lifted from her shoulders. She looked at Clara and could tell that Clara was in deep thought.

  Slowly Clara said, “Rose, I think that would be a great help to us. Let me think it over and talk with Bess. We’ll come over to your house later this afternoon or in the evening to make final arrangements, if that will be all right with you.”

  “Oh, that will be fine. And Clara, if it won’t work out or help you out, then please just tell me and we’ll go on being the best of friends. Would you agree to that?”

  “Yes, I will be honest with you. But I have tasted your cooking—your potato salad was the most popular dish at the picnic yesterday and your cake nearly floated away. I know the boardinghouse has been a burden for Bess to carry nearly alone since I’m not much help in the kitchen, so I am quite certain this will work wonderfully. And I am thankful you found the courage to speak. I have a feeling this is going to work out great for all of us.”

  With hugs the women parted. Clara was deep in thought as she and Bess started toward the boardinghouse. Finally she spoke. “What do you think about it all, Bess? Would you like to have the help?”

  “Clara, I love to cook. You know that. But I do not really enjoy having the whole responsibility of cooking for that many people all the time. You know I’d love to be free to go to the Sheldon farm more than once a week, and if Rose could help us on the weekends also, it would be wonderful. Can you afford to hire someone?”

  “A few months ago when we first started this, I would have been quite hesitant to be committed to pay a salary. However, business has been very good. You know that we keep being asked to open a restaurant also. I think it’s a good time for us to hire someone else and perhaps keep that restaurant idea in mind for the future.”

  “And if she works out well, which I think she will, would you mind if I go out to the Sheldon farm maybe twice a week? Would you feel abandoned if I did that?”

  They walked in silence for a short distance before Clara replied. Then she said quite soberly, “Bess, your heart is out there at the Sheldon farm. I would not wish to keep you here. I think I see the hand of God in bringing Rose back here with her parents. I must admit I am concerned for the day she returns to her farm, but God has always been one step ahead of me right along the way, and I know He has a powerful plan that will be for our good—you and me and Rose. Sometimes I can hardly wait to see what He will think of next!”

  Chapter 20

  Halfway through the month, July turned hot and muggy. It had been two weeks since Rose had started cooking at the boardinghouse, and she was well received. Bess’s cooking was delicious, but Rose’s meals had a flair all their own. The boarders, as well as Clara and Bess, were delightfully surprised.

  As Bess drove out to the Sheldon farm very early on a Tuesday morning, she thought about what a blessing it was to have Rose to free her up for this extra day to help the Sheldons. Their garden was producing well, but the children could not put up the food for the winter. Bess wanted to do that as well as the other household chores. And besides, it felt almost like going home. Oh, how she loved that happy place. She found herself humming a tune and wishing the horses would feel the same urgency she did.

  Robert had been delighted with her news when she told him on Sunday that because of Rose’s help she could come another day. Bess saw a light in the kitchen window as she drove up. She supposed the children had awakened early in anticipation since Robert was probably out caring for the animals.

  She tied the horses to the corner post when she arrived, knowing that Robert would care for them soon, and went into the kitchen to start breakfast for the family. As soon as the door opened she smelled coffee. Knowing the children didn’t know how to make coffee, she looked around in surprise.

  A cup of coffee sat on the table, curling its fragrance in swirls toward the ceiling. Robert stood at the stove pouring a second cup. He glanced up and smiled as she entered.

  “Oh! I thought you’d be at the barns already,” Bess said in quiet surprise.

  “The children are still sleeping, and I’ve gotten pretty good at coffee. Here, try some. I’m still not much good at the other food, but my coffee is either getting better, or I’m getting used to it. See what you think.” He handed her the cup with a mischievous smile.

  She accepted the cup, and he pulled out a chair for her. “Bess, would you sit for a few minutes and talk with me before we start our work?”

  “Sure, Robert.” She sipped the coffee as she moved toward the chair. “Robert, this is very good coffee. Mmm, I think you’re onto something here. This is great!”

  After seating her, Robert walked around the table to where the other cup sat. He sat down across from her, smiling, but gazing into his cup thoughtfully. Bess waited silently, sipping the aromatic brew and watching him over the brim. Robert wrapped his hands around his cup, looked up at Bess briefly, then back down again.

  Bess set her cup down and leaned forward. “What is it, Robert? What did you want to talk to me about?” She could see he was struggling and had never seen him quite so hesitant. “Is there a problem?” She didn’t really think it was a problem since he was still smiling. She waited.

  Again there was silence for several seconds. Finally he looked up at her and spoke softly. “Bess, we’ve been through a lot together. I’ve leaned on you heavily this past year—first with Anita and then with the children and the home. I believe God sent you to us as a very special gift. We all love you very much.” Again he hesitated.

  “Yes, I know you all care,” Bess murmured. “And I have come to love you all also. You and Anita have raised some very special children, and I have learned to love them deeply. They are a very important part of my life, and Robert, I love coming out here to be with you all.”

  Her words seemed to give him courage. “Yes, and we would like you to stay. What I mean is…well, I would like you to stay. Bess, if you would marry me, you could be with us all the time, and you wouldn’t have to live in town when I believe your heart is here with the children.”

  “Marry you?” Bess was so shocked she didn’t think she had heard Robert correctly. Her voice was a whisper. Then she said again, “Did you say marry you, Robert? Me? Marry you?”

  He searched her eyes for
a moment, then focused back on his cup. “Is it such an awful thought?”

  “It’s just, well, such a surprise. I never thought—but Anita? I mean, how could I? How could you? Marry?”

  Robert continued to look down at his cup. “Anita is gone. I have come to terms with that. I will always love Anita, and I think you know that as do the children and, yes, I think Anita knows that also. But, Bess, somehow I think Anita would approve of this. In fact, I think she would approve very heartily. Do you not think so, too?”

  “Oh, my!” Bess was silent for a little while. “But I’m—or, I was…”

  “What? A prostitute? Bess, I know you were a prostitute. I am well aware of that. But that was a whole different life. That was before you knew Christ. That was before you were forgiven. You know that it is all forgiven. And in God’s Book, and mine, it’s as good as never happened. Look—” Robert jumped up from his chair and reached over to the top of the bookcase for his Bible. Thumbing through the pages, he opened to Isaiah 53:5–6, brought it around the table, and placed it in front of Bess. “Look what it says right here.” He traced the words with his forefinger as he read:

  “But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.”

  Robert left his Bible open on the table in front of her but went back to his seat across from her. “Bess, all of us have sinned. Not just you. All of us. God doesn’t see that some sins are forgivable and others are not. Nor does He consider some worse than others. When we truly ask His forgiveness and turn from our sin, He forgives. Simple as that. That is the reason Jesus went to the cross. Our sins were laid on Him. And if God forgives, it’s the same as though it never happened. I think it is much more difficult for us to forgive ourselves than for God to forgive us. But at any rate, it’s done. It’s behind you. Now you must go on about living your new life—your forgiven life.

 

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