In Love by Design (The Adventures of Anabel Axelrod)

by Ellen, Tracy

  I almost swerved from my decision then. Only the fact that my short dress wouldn’t allow me to jump up and straddle his waist, without it ending up above my own waist, stopped me from pouncing on this dressed up, magnificent Luke. That and John Smith walking into the kitchen.

  I managed to say blandly, “Wow, Luke, you clean up good.”

  I also managed to say blandly, “Wow, Snake Man, how lucky you just happened to have a suit along when you stopped by the farm this weekend.”

  This sarcasm of mine was becoming a nasty habit and so unbecoming in a girlfriend.

  So I did the right thing and got it all out of my system by taking it out on my boyfriend’s friend.

  John grinned and gave a little bow. “Lucky is my middle name!”

  I raised my brows in mild surprise. “Oh yeah? Well, none of us here need to ask what your game is, so please spare us the rest.”

  John stumbled back in exaggerated surprise. “What? You don’t want to hear that getting lucky is my game?”

  “Seriously?” I sighed heavily and shook my head in despair. “Geez, and here I thought you were telling one truth when you said you were smart. Must we go over again what a sad and sadistic little man you are?”

  John held a hand over his heart. “If only we weren’t driving separately.” His sigh outdid mine. “To think I’ll miss being schooled again by the high and mighty Miss Ethical Axelrod.”

  “Oh, no need to miss anything,” I replied, briskly cheerful. “Lucky isn’t my middle name, but I happen to travel with an audio book. I have it on hand for any sociopaths that I run across because one never knows when they may need assistance with adjusting to reality. Now mind you, the poor narcissists are out of luck because they won’t settle for anything less than a face-to-face.” I laughed, and added with a sad little moue, “They know their own worth, you know.”

  John’s face was a caricature of innocence. “Didn’t you forget the word “other” in that never ending polemic?”

  I smiled gently. “Ah, see? It does take one to know one.”

  John’s eyes flared and then he snickered, and then he was laughing and I was grinning.

  ‘See how a little give and take with the flesh ripping can brighten everyone’s night?

  I don’t know what my boyfriend was thinking during this exchange because he was being a gentleman and helping me on with my vintage black capelet. Luke nobly stayed above the fray, leading us out the back door and into the night.

  Pulling into the Porterhouse Steak and Seafood parking lot and turning off the ignition, the tense quiet in the jeep was far more nerve wracking to me than the shouting and screaming of a knock-down, drag-out lover’s quarrel could ever be.

  I reached for my purse and put the keys inside. “Well, here we are. Let’s go have fun meeting all these boring strangers we’ll never want to see again…”

  My voice trailed off when I looked up to find Luke staring intensely at me. There was enough light shining in from the parking lot for me to see him plainly; I just couldn’t decipher the strange, pained expression on his face.

  “Anabel.” He said my name so plaintively soft that my heart started thumping madly because something was terribly wrong.

  Not merely thumping, my heart was galloping in my chest. I was afraid it might be exploding outwards to go running away rather than hear what Luke was about to say.

  I’ve never been dumped before, but this dread overtaking and consuming me must mean it was about to happen. All the confidence and trust in Luke’s infinite, macrocosmic love for me was shaken to the very core at that one tiny, sad sound of my name from his lips. The joy of the past few months, his words, his lovemaking, his ring—they all faded into the background while I watched the hard, cruel resolve gather in his eyes.

  His face changed abruptly and his eyes looked beyond me, as rapid knocking on the driver’s window caused me to cry out and swing around.

  “Hello, you two!” Pam cried out merrily. She waved both hands, as if they were windshield wipers on high speed, while smiling impishly. Standing next to her, and resembling a big, blonde bear bundled up in a long, winter dress coat trimmed in fur, was Carter Ogelbachen II.

  Hands still shaky from adrenaline, I smiled weakly up at Carter and said hello when he opened my door with a friendly flourish. Luke came around from his side, holding out a hand to Carter and grinning broadly. The man who was usually so well mannered and polite to women didn’t even spare Pam a glance.

  ‘Okay, this was really weird already!’

  The change in Luke’s demeanor was so pronounced, I wondered if I was going insane. In the jeep, he had been looking at me with the most terribly sad, determined eyes and now he was all smiling joviality. Stunned, I perfunctorily introduced him to Pam and Carter.

  As the four of us walked towards the entrance to the steakhouse, Luke was politely courteous to Pam for a mere moment, but soon he was backslapping with Carter like they were long lost best buds.

  This was strange behavior, too, but I was still reeling at the fleeting horror that Luke could possibly be one of those incredibly mean assholes that other women rage about. We’ve all heard about these men. They’re the ones that invite their girlfriend’s out to a fancy restaurant only to dump her in this very public place, so she won’t throw a fit.

  I know everyone knows me and I totally agree. Luke better think twice before he ends our day-to-day commitment in Porterhouse Steak and Seafood amongst the kind of uppity people I suspected we’d be mingling with tonight. Mr. Tricky’s got another thing coming if he believes for one parsec this would stop me from kicking his ass from one end of the joint to the other.

  This was figuratively speaking, unfortunately…unless I used Rita and made him perform a Mexican hat dance.

  Pam brought me back from my Axelrod ranting and revenge plotting when she looped her arm through mine under my capelet. She nodded at the backs of the talking, laughing men ahead of us.

  “Good God, will you look at that? They’ve really hit it off!” She gave me a nudge and winked. “Too bad we won’t be double dating.” Her pixie face was full of unrepentant humor when she grinned and whispered, “Or maybe we will, but it just won’t be with Carter!”

  Not wanting to inflict my bad mood on my friend, I laughed and whispered back, “Holy Hat Dance, you are an evil woman, Pammie-poo!” I squeezed her arm. “And you know what a sincere compliment that is coming from me.”

  Pam laughed, as I glanced musingly up ahead at the men off in their own world. I was suspicious at the sight. Never would I have thought Luke would take so instantly to Carter, as they were total opposites. Not only in their looks--Luke was dark, tough, and whipcord strong to Carter’s blonde, big, and softly lumbering--but also in their personalities.

  Sometimes, there were no logical reasons for why things happen the way they do. Men like other men for qualities woman didn’t understand because it has to do with their common interests in joint pursuits. Personally, I couldn’t imagine having fun going out with a woman antique shopping, to a yoga class, or to the gun range if I didn’t like her much otherwise, but men could be different about this stuff.

  ‘I still don’t buy it. This was not the Luke that I knew.’

  Luke’s broad shoulder nudged Carter’s, as he threw back his head in laughter at something Carter said. His sensuous lips parted in a wide grin to reveal glistening white teeth and his unexpectedly charming dimple. Luke was devastatingly attractive tonight. His eyes met mine briefly, inscrutably, while the men held open the double front entrance doors of the restaurant.

  I was so sick of inscrutable looks that I turned away first and muttered to my friend, “I hope you still want to head right for the bar because I really need a drink.”

  Pam gave a little hop step next to me and laughed. “Oh, goody! Hell yes, I do.” She leaned her head in close again and I got a whiff of her pretty, light perfume on a draft of cold air. She spoke urgently before the men could hear. “I did it, Bel! Chicken me
actually got up the nerve to ask Joe how he felt!”

  Out of the side of my mouth, I teased grimly, “Hmm, you mean this walking-on-air has nothing to do with the excitement of our evening ahead? I’m crushed.”

  Pam giggled happily, as she sailed between Carter and Luke with a queenly dip of her head and me in her tow. Within two milliseconds, I had my capelet unfastened and thrown back towards our men that have stopped at the coat check. I was impressed to see Luke’s quick reaction at snatching the capelet out of the air, but my main focus was straight ahead on the bartender. I spotted him through the noisy, milling crowd spilling out from the big main bar and into the flagstone entry. Pam removed her long coat and linked arms with me again while she called back to Carter and Luke, “We’re off to get cocktails and will catch up with you boys in a while! Have fun!”

  She looked very cute in another “Real Pam” dress. The sleeveless sheath was a blue slinky fabric with a deep V neckline in front and back. This was actually more real than I’ve ever seen on Pam, but why should her behavior be any more normal tonight than anyone else?

  Winding and squirming our way to the bar, it sometimes paid to be small females in short, tight dresses. As she dithered, I encouraged Pam to order the Chocotini because it has more calories. The men on either side of us got in on our discussion. They guessed Pam’s weight at ridiculous numbers and used this as an excuse to look her up and down. She flirted up a storm in return. Silver earrings flashed and eyes sparkled, as Pam tossed her head and had harmless fun, but when they turned towards me, I turned to order a Lemon Drop from the bartender.

  The bartender was far better looking than either of the two weight guessers, and besides, he was Tre J’s sister’s husband’s younger brother, David. Speaking loudly at me over the din, David complimented my hair and went on about a new indie band he saw recently and the ski trip he’s got planned. He made my super-duper Lemon Drop martini and cast stealthy, respectful glances at my mysteriously shadowed cleavage.

  I turned away to sip my Lemon Drop and surveyed the bar scene around us. The drink was so tasty; I believe slurped would be a better description of what I was doing and it went down fast.

  The Porterhouse was decorated in dark wood, stacked stone, soft lighting, fireplaces, and a big bar and open dining room with romantic white linens and candles. Running down one side of the whole restaurant was a reception room where the awards banquet will be held. Currently, the two banks of triple doors were opened between the reception room and the bar. Well-dressed people carrying drinks were drifting back and forth, melding with the large, boisterous groups or pairing off into more private conversations.

  The smell of grilling steak and people with money was in the air, and it’s probably because of the awards banquet tonight, but this place was rocking with men.

  Pam was still busy entertaining the two men with flight attendant stories, and a third friend had joined them. Since Pam’s idea of telling a story was to stand back about two feet from her audience and act out all the parts, this was often maniacally funny. She threw back the last of her Chocotini and then pretended to gag and vomit while the men slapped their legs and uproariously laughed, so I could only assume this was the “sick” celebrity story. A glamour girl, sexpot kind of flirt Pam was not.

  “You remind me of my next girlfriend,” said a man’s voice near my ear.

  I allowed him that in order to be heard over the noisy crowd, and I even allowed him the pickup line because he pulled it off with just the right touch of self-deprecating humor and arrogant élan.

  Without turning to look at the man attached to the voice, I passed my empty martini glass back over my bare shoulder and answered, “Good. You’re just in time to practice being a boyfriend and order me my next Lemon Drop.”

  I swiveled and was facing the doppelganger of a very young Robert Redford, complete with the long bangs hanging in his bright blue eyes. For those of you out there that don’t know who Robert is, let your fingers do the Googling. For those of you who enjoy real oldies, one of my most favorite romantic comedies was “Barefoot in the Park”.

  ‘Okay, how is it fair that I am not attracted to one man in ten years until I meet Luke, and now interesting men are popping out of the woodwork like termites?’

  ‘It’s the sexual fearmoans?’ suggested the sex kitten voice on a giggle.

  ‘Pheromones, you drunk little tramp!’ sneered the mean mommy voice.

  “Great, the girls are fighting again,” I muttered, and see my wannabe boyfriend’s eyes drop quickly down to my chest in hopeful interest.

  I rolled my eyes. “Geesh, not those girls, Robert!”

  Robert smiled nervously. He ordered my drink from David, who winked at me and went to work pouring another super-duper Lemon Drop. The drinks were free for us tonight, otherwise I’d pay. I didn’t want to have to be too nice to Robert, if I didn’t feel like it. Believing Luke wanted to break things off hasn’t put me in a positive frame of mind about potential boyfriends.

  I continued looking around and then felt my eyes popping out of my head.

  Luke was off to the far right, just outside the doors to the banquet hall, and Carter was glued to his side like a tick. I blinked to clear my vision because I think I actually saw Carter hesitantly touch Luke’s hand to get his attention. This innocent motion disturbed me at a gut level, but then again pretty much everything’s been raising havoc with my gut lately.

  But that wasn’t what caused my eyes to pop. My boyfriend’s in the center of a group of men and their wives. He was glad handing and charming the socks off people right and left. As people laughed and talked with Luke, they were spellbound by a charisma that was so potent I felt it all the way over here. Carter reminded me of the head staffer of a popular politician running for reelection. He was hovering and smiling over Luke, looking positively thrilled everybody else adored his candidate as much as he did. I wouldn’t be surprised if Carter whipped out a baby from the crowd for Luke to kiss for a photo op.

  Pam sidled up to me, and followed my eyes to see what I was looking at across the bar. “Looks like Carter is really introducing Luke to everyone and their brother. Oh yes, and speaking of the moronic twins!”

  Snickering, I squinted my eyes a little to focus on the two blonde men that have joined the big group around Luke. I haven’t seen Carter’s brothers since Pam’s wedding, but they haven’t changed and were surprisingly alike. In their mid-twenties, both brothers were well groomed and dressed expensively, but this didn’t quite do the job anymore to camouflage the paunches and reddened noses of the inveterate partier.

  ‘These are the men that I suspect Luke chose to hang with late last night while he left me, and my protégé, waiting at home in his bed?’

  Continuing to watch in fascination the sight of Luke working that crowd, I absently accepted my second Lemon Drop from Robert and introduced him to Pam. Understandably; this caused some confusion, as he insisted his name was not Robert. Pam only confused the issue more when she insisted on calling him every version of the name Robert she could come up with, in different accents, while downing her second Chocotini like chocolate milk.

  The moron brothers took turns vigorously shaking Luke’s hand while speaking animatedly to the group. Everyone laughed with gusto at their remarks. I had no idea those two were so witty, but maybe I didn’t bring that out in them when conversing. These men were the type of married asswipes that talk to women’s breasts and mine didn’t have much to say.

  Robert stood directly behind me and leaned down to speak in my ear. This was another reason women should be careful about wearing strapless dresses because men were generally the taller of the species. Luke chose that moment to lift his head and search the room. A shiver washed over me seeing him do this because when his eyes zoned in directly on me after only a millisecond, I felt like the marked mate of a top predator. I swear to God my nipples got hard and there was a tingle that ran straight down between my legs, and I was instantly wet for him.
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br />   ‘Holy Crap, this is not the look of man wanting to dump me, but the look of a man wanting to jump me!’

  All the voices cheered violently loud while my eyes clashed with Luke’s from across the room. Without taking my eyes off the man making me shiver, I took a slow sip of my lemony goodness, a slower lick of my lips, and then I murmured for Robert to go away. Practice time was over and I needed all my wits.

  Luke’s eyes glowed back at me, but luckily, it wasn’t the red sheen of the Devil because that would be scary. They were the blazing green of a possessive man, which when I considered it, might not be much better.

  Wanting to connect with Luke in a friendly fashion, I held up my hand in a little wave, and Sparky blazed impudent fire brighter than Luke’s eyes. At the sight of this brilliant laser light show on my hand, Luke’s eyes went extremely wide before they flipped back to meet mine. Luke had gone two shades paler, even as a huge smile broke open on his face. I gave a little shrug at the ring’s behavior, since I’ve had time to become accustomed to its backtalk, and a bigger shrug at Luke’s behavior because what’s one more weird reaction amongst so many?

  Luke was still staring when Carter glanced over at me. He frowned, and waved only slightly in response to my smile before pulling Luke away to meet an older man in a coat that looked to be leaving, not arriving.

  I set my empty glass on the bar and decided no more booze for Bel. Things were already not making sense when I was sober, and I shuddered at the thought of dealing with Luke’s emotional ups and downs if I was cross eyed.

  Pam pointed with her glass over Luke’s way again. “Well, well, it looks like Father Ogelbachen approves of your oh so masculine boyfriend.”

  “He probably senses Luke’s high sperm count,” I replied, and we both burst out laughing and snorting. When we stopped gasping, I said, “I wouldn’t have recognized Carter’s father. He’s aged ten years since I’ve seen him last. Man, he looks awful!”