“No idea.” Griffin raised an eyebrow. “Maybe Susan knows more.”
Eli fell into step with the head nurse. “What’s wrong with Amara?”
Susan didn’t pause as she walked to the door of room 3. “Don’t know. She said she wasn’t well and sounded...not like herself. She was...” Susan let that thought die away, and her blue eyes tore through him. “Quiet,” she finally added.
Eli pulled his cell out and dialed Amara. The phone rang twice before going to voice mail.
Maybe she was sleeping.
If she’d come down with a virus in the few hours since he’d seen her... Still, Eli couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong.
* * *
Eli raced up the stairs in the old luxury home that had been turned into a set of apartments. According to his phone, Amara had read each of his texts, but she hadn’t responded. He needed to see her, hold her, to calm the racing thoughts streaming across his brain.
She’d called in sick and hadn’t phoned him. That stung. They were supposed to be partners. True, they’d had a tense discussion, but Eli hadn’t considered it a fight. Certainly not one that necessitated her staying off work. That couldn’t be why she wasn’t at the hospital.
Eli had run through a litany of possibilities on the short drive from Boston Gen., each making his blood run cold. Amara had to be all right.
She had to be...
She didn’t answer his first knocks. Eli ran his hand through his hair. He didn’t want to make a scene in the hallway, but he needed to see her. “Amara, honey. Open the door.” Eli raised his voice and then knocked on the door twice more.
His cell buzzed, and he frowned at the screen—now she answered his texts! “Amara, I am not leaving, so either text me the location of the spare key or open the door.” Eli knocked again. “Let me in, love. Whatever’s wrong, I can help.” His voice faltered as he leaned against the door. “Please...”
His phone buzzed again, and he straightened up. This was not how he wanted to communicate with the woman he loved. She just needed to answer the door.
Spare key under the green flowerpot.
Eli heaved a huge sigh of relief.
The small living room and galley kitchen were empty. The door to Amara’s bedroom was closed. Pushing it open slowly, he saw her sitting in an oversize chair by the window.
“You’re supposed to be at the hospital.” Amara’s voice was small and husky with tears.
His heart stuttered as she kept staring straight ahead. “That was nine hours ago.”
What was going on?
“Susan and Griffin send their regards.” Eli pressed his lips to her forehead as he slid down beside her.
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and they sat in silence. Eli felt her tears fall against his collar but still didn’t speak. Whatever was wrong, she’d tell him when she was ready. The important thing was that Amara knew he was here. No matter what.
After a few minutes, he kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand. “I’m going to make you some tea.” Her near-catatonic state was terrifying him.
Amara nodded as she grabbed a towel and headed to her bathroom.
Eli watched the clock. If she didn’t emerge by the time her tea was ready, he was going to go and get her. He set the mug on the small counter just as Amara came out.
“Thank you, Eli.” Her voice was stronger but still sounded far away. “Everything is fine.”
“That is a lie.” He folded his arms and looked at her. “We’re a team now. Whatever’s wrong, I’ll help you fix it.”
Tears flooded Amara’s dark eyes as she lifted the mug to her lips. “You can’t fix this, Eli. I... I...”
She bit her lip so hard, he feared she was tasting blood. “Amara?”
“I found a lump when I was in the shower.” Her whispered words stole the air from the small kitchen.
Eli’s stomach dropped, but he forced his face to stay neutral. Amara was understandably scared, but he needed to be her rock right now. If this was more than just scar tissue, a cyst or...his brain forced the words away. If it was cancer, he’d break then, and not in front of her.
“Okay. Have you set up an appointment to have it checked?” Handle the issues you could first. That’s what he always told his patients.
“Tomorrow...” Amara said as her fingers shook.
“All right.” Eli took a deep breath. “If, and it’s still a big if, it’s cancer, then we will deal with it together.”
“Together?” Amara picked up the mug and took a sip of her tea as her eyes watered.
“Of course.” Eli put an arm around her. How could she even ask?
Because her father hadn’t helped her mother.
The truth struck him like a blow.
Amara wasn’t sure that he’d stay with her. He tried not to let that hurt. She would always come first with him—in sickness and in health. They may not have said those vows to each other, but Eli wouldn’t walk away from Amara—ever.
“I just feel so hollow. So scared.” Her voice wavered, and she sucked in a deep breath.
“That’s to be expected.” Eli pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’ve never lived with the fear of Damocles’ sword falling.” Amara’s lips turned up just barely, but it gave him a bit of hope.
“Ancient Roman parables about death hanging above you? Really, Eli.” Amara’s dark eyes held his.
“It’s the one thing I remember from your Ancient Roman History class. That and the pile of note cards you had all over the apartment. You must have studied those myths for months.” Eli took the tea mug from Amara and set it on the counter before pulling her into his arms.
“It was six weeks, and keeping all those gods and goddesses straight was hard. Worst elective ever!” Amara let out a light chuckle. “How can I be laughing right now?”
“Because life can be funny and tragic at the same time. But you can’t enjoy life if you’re constantly worrying about what might go wrong. You’ll go nuts.” Eli wiped away a tear from her cheek.
Amara shook her head as she looked up at him. “My mom used to tell me that.” She choked up again, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
Eli’s heart broke at the loss in her eyes, and the worry that she’d face the same terrible diagnosis as her mother. Fear pressed against his belly, but Eli pushed it back. Whatever she faced, she’d face it with him. “Well, your mom was right. But no matter what, I’m sticking around. We’re partners, Amara.”
Eli stroked her arm as she leaned her head against his shoulder. He needed to touch her, to reinforce that he was there—and was staying. “No one gets promised tomorrow, Amara. No one. The best any of us can do is enjoy the present. Fill it with laughter, love and hope.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and let out a soft sigh. “Thank you, Eli. I should have called you, or at least sent a text.”
“Yes, you should have,” he agreed as he ran his hand along her cheek. “But I understand. Now, let’s get you packed.”
“Packed?” Amara blinked.
Eli felt his cheeks heat as he stared at her. He’d meant to ask it as a question. “I think you should stay with Lizzy and me for a bit, at least until after your doctors’ appointments.”
“Eli...”
Before she could offer any well-reasoned argument, he added, “You were already with us several nights a week. If you stay here, you’re just going to worry. Besides, when raising a toddler, you’re often too tired at the end of the day to think straight.” Eli winked. He wanted her to stay with them...forever.
“Your toddler is adorable.” Amara sighed.
“Yes, she is. But don’t change the subject. I promise the time will fly by faster if you’re with us.” Eli threaded her fingers through his.
“I appreciate the offer, Eli. I do. But I can handle this mysel
f. I can.” Amara’s lips trembled, but her shoulders were straight. The strength running through her was impressive, but she could lean on him too.
“I know you can,” Eli stated. He thought Amara might be able to handle anything. “But you don’t have to handle it alone. I’m here. Let me help.” He squeezed her hand. “Please.”
Amara’s lips pursed, and she nodded. “Thank you.”
Eli’s heart soared as she started toward her bedroom. Relationships weren’t just the good bits. Real relationships were built in the times like now, when tomorrow looked less than rosy. When life shifted the balance of everything, you shifted with it.
CHAPTER TEN
AMARA WAS SITTING behind the nurses’ station, going over a few records, trying to focus. Her brain kept wrapping around what might happen. No matter how much she tried to calm the what-ifs. It was a mental reel that she hadn’t been able to shut off for days while she waited for her test results.
At least being at Boston Gen. helped. This place was special. Time passed faster when she was here.
And sped by when she was with Eli.
She smiled as he turned the corner and offered her a short wave.
“My wife needs help!” Amara heard the scream, grabbed a pair of gloves and raced toward the emergency room entrance.
Outside, a young, heavily pregnant woman was lying across the back seat of a car, her breaths coming fast. Amara wasn’t surprised when Eli arrived by her side and started putting on gloves.
“How far along is she?” Eli asked as he motioned for a gurney.
“Thirty-nine weeks. We were at the doctor’s yesterday, and he told us we still had time.”
“Well, babies have their own schedule,” Amara stated as she bent to do an initial medical examination while Eli finished getting gloved. “What’s your name?”
“Nicole.”
“Well, Nicole, I’m Amara.” She’d helped with a few emergency deliveries over the years. “I’m going to lift your dress and see how you’re progressing, so we can let the maternity ward know. How far apart are your contractions?”
“They are...” Nicole flinched and let out a low groan.
Adrenaline spun through Amara. The baby was already crowning. “Eli!” Nicole was not even going to make it into the ER.
Amara exchanged places with Eli and headed to the other side of the car. Climbing into the back seat, Amara helped Nicole sit up a bit.
While Eli adjusted Nicole’s legs, Amara looked at the frightened woman. “You need to try not to push, okay?”
“I have to,” she whimpered. “I can’t stop. My body...” Nicole’s words were lost as another contraction hit her.
Eli looked over his shoulder. “We can’t move her. Get OB here now! The baby is coming.”
“Breathe, Nicole.” Amara kept her voice calm as the woman stared up at her. “You’re going to be a mom soon, but right now, we need you to breathe.”
“When the next contraction hits—”
Another contraction came, and Nicole pushed before Eli could finish his statement.
“You’re doing great, Nicole,” Eli offered encouragement.
The world disappeared around them. Eli, Nicole and Amara focused on the messy miracle of childbirth —in a less than ideal place. New life was coming, no matter the setting.
“You’re almost there.” Another contraction and the baby slipped into Eli’s arms. The little boy started crying straight away.
Amara let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding as Eli accepted a suction bulb from a person behind him and quickly cleared the baby’s airway. He was perfect.
“You have a beautiful son,” Eli announced. “And you are going to have quite the story to tell.”
A maternity nurse arrived and took the baby from Eli, and Dr. Mengh, the senior obstetrician, shifted places with him. “Nice job, Dr. Collins.”
Amara looked over at Eli and grinned as he gave her two thumbs-up. They’d worked as the perfect team, and she couldn’t stop the glow of warmth spreading across her as she stared at the small child and his mother being wheeled into the ER. Could she have that with Eli? For the first time in days, hope for the future replaced the dread in Amara’s heart.
* * *
Eli stared at Amara through the doorway of Nicole’s maternity room. Little Kellen was wrapped securely in Amara’s arms. She was beautiful, and his heart felt like it might explode.
Her health was still uncertain, but Eli couldn’t stop the image of her holding their own child. She’d be a wonderful mom. Amara was a natural with Lizzy. He wanted a family with her.
He wanted everything.
“There you are.” Marshall suddenly popped up beside him, frowning. “Why are you in maternity?” His father motioned for Eli to follow him.
Pushing away from the door, Eli caught Amara’s gaze.
You okay? she mouthed, and he nodded.
And he was.
“What do you need, Marshall?”
“I sent you a list of questions about Boston Gen. this morning for the fundraiser,” Marshall stated expectantly.
Eli shook his head. “I’ve been at work, and those questions you asked should be directed to Human Resources anyway.”
“They take days to respond.” Marshall’s eyes heated as he stared at Eli. “You should have been able to answer them in no time.”
“Well, they’re busy, and so am I.” Eli shrugged. It was the truth, but it felt good to just state it. “If I have a chance, I’ll look over them later.”
Marshall’s eyes narrowed as he looked back toward the room where Amara was. “Do you remember what I told you? You can be a great doctor...”
“But not a great spouse.” Eli finished the sentence, believing that had cost him Amara years ago. But Eli wasn’t sure he believed it anymore. What he did know was that he didn’t want to be like his father. Angry over an unanswered email on an issue that didn’t need to be handled immediately.
“I think I can do both.” His father just hadn’t tried hard enough. Eli could succeed where Marshall had failed.
“Something always suffers,” Marshall stated. “Ms. Patel wasn’t willing to stand beside you as you chased your goals last time. Think she’ll do it now?”
“Yes.” Eli was surprised by his confidence. Because a decade ago, Eli hadn’t been chasing his own goals.
He’d been chasing Marshall’s.
They were partners, cheering each other on, supporting each other. Marshall was right. That meant some things might have to suffer, but it wouldn’t be Amara, Lizzy or Boston Gen.
“If you don’t push yourself, you’re never going to make it out of this place.” Marshall folded his arms crossly.
Make it out of Boston Gen.?
His father’s statement struck him. How could Marshall think he was stuck here? Boston Gen. was where he belonged. He thought he’d made that clear—except Marshall hadn’t been listening.
“You’re right; I do need a change.” Eli let out a deep breath as a weight lifted from his chest. “I’ll send a formal response to the board, but please consider this my resignation from The Collins Research Group.” Amara was right, Marshall was never going to respect him, and Eli was done searching for his approval. He was...
Before Marshall could respond, Amara exited the room and walked toward them. “Good afternoon, Marshall.”
He didn’t acknowledge her as he stormed past Eli.
“Was it something I said?” Amara looked from Marshall’s retreating form to Eli.
“No. It was something I said.” He grinned as Amara raised an eyebrow. “I resigned from The Collins Research Group.”
“What?” Amara’s eyes widened as she stared at him. “Eli, are you sure?”
“Honestly? No,” he admitted. “But it felt right in the moment. Still feels right.�
�� He swung an arm around Amara. “Let’s go home.”
* * *
Cutting up a lemon, Amara tilted her head as the tart citrus juice fell into the pan she was heating. She’d practiced each of the recipes she was making for the health fair. Tonight was lemon rice, Eli’s favorite.
He’d been in good spirits since telling Marshall he wasn’t going to work part-time for The Collins Research Group or serve on its board anymore. But Amara still worried that Eli might change his mind. Or doubt himself.
It had been such a sudden decision. What if he regretted it? Or felt like she’d pressured him into it? That hadn’t been her intention when she’d challenged him about the fundraiser.
But what if...?
The lemon scent wafted over her, and Amara let the worry go—mostly.
She’d grown up helping her mother in the kitchen and knew these recipes by heart. As each day passed with no test results, Amara found herself yearning to talk with her. If the veil between worlds could fall for just one day...
As the scent of lemon and spice cascaded over the kitchen, Amara felt her soul relax a bit more. Her mother would have loved that she’d reconnected with Eli. She’d have cheered them on and been first in line at their health fair booth. Particularly since they were serving her recipes.
“That smells delicious,” Eli stated before dropping a soft kiss on her forehead, as Lizzy waved at him from the floor. “Tell me that’s lemon rice.”
“Right now, it’s just boiling water, lemon and spices. But yes, it will be lemon rice in about twenty minutes.” A yawn stole through Amara, and she saw Eli’s eyes fill with concern.
“If you need to rest,” he offered, “I can order us takeout. Or we can finally fix that frozen lasagna.”
“We are never going to eat that thing!” Amara laughed and then yawned again. She appreciated all of Eli’s concerns. She really did, but it was just another reminder that everything might be changing before they’d properly got started on their second chance. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
Falling Again for the Single Dad Page 13
