His arms wrapped around her waist. “Do you need anything for the booth? You don’t have to handle it alone.”
“I’ve got it,” Amara promised. She didn’t need help. She was fine.
“Are you—” A loud bang interrupted them, and Eli laughed. “Lizzy’s a drummer.”
“Yep.” Amara had flipped over three pots and set them on the floor before giving Lizzy a spoon. Lifting her head, Amara kissed him. The worries that hadn’t quieted in over a week almost disappeared as she stared at Eli and Lizzy.
“This was how my mother kept me occupied until I was old enough to help in the kitchen.” Amara frowned as she yawned again.
“If the health fair is too much, Amara, I can help. In fact, I—”
“No!” Amara interrupted. “I’m fine.” If she said it often enough, Amara hoped the mantra would be true.
Her heart raced as Eli bent and patted a few of the pots with Lizzy. This was what a perfect life looked like. Cooking, laughing and turned-over pots.
“If you need anything, will you tell me?” Eli asked before making a silly face for Lizzy.
“Of course.” Amara thought her heart might explode from happiness as Lizzy grinned and handed him the spoon. Eli hit the pots, but not hard enough for Lizzy, and soon she was reclaiming her spoon.
“I guess I need my own spoon,” Eli said.
His smile was contagious as he stood, and Amara let the worries slip to the back of her mind.
* * *
Amara rolled over and sighed as Eli’s arm slid around her waist. Lying next to him made the late nights with little sleep pass quicker. His breath was warm against her neck as she snuggled close, enjoying the soft sighs he made. Rubbing her hand along his muscular chest, Amara placed a light kiss just above his heart.
Eli had been her rock. Whether they were at his place or Boston Gen., Eli had kept her sane over the last week and a half. He tasted every meal she’d cooked and finally thrown out the stacks of frozen dinners with more freezer burn than she’d ever seen.
When she’d held baby Kellen, Amara had caught Eli staring at her. Was he thinking about their future too? She wanted a life with him. But what if the lump she’d found was cancer?
Eli had said he’d stand by her, and she desperately wanted to believe him. But she’d helped her mother throughout her cancer battle. Amara had been stunned by the number of relationships she’d seen that hadn’t survived a diagnosis and treatment. For better or worse was a nice sentiment, but in reality it wasn’t always possible.
Eli was keeping himself busy since resigning from The Collins Research Group. Amara wasn’t sure he knew how to be still. He’d spent all his free time investigating how to get Boston General into next year’s Best Hospitals and Physicians edition of the US News & Reports magazine.
He’d pored over research and websites that claimed to know what was on the surveys they sent out. Eli asked her opinions and threw stats out in regular conversation, but she was terrified that this could become an obsession. Already was.
Worry niggled at the back of her brain, and Amara couldn’t quite push it away. She shook herself. Eli had done nothing to make her doubt him. She was letting what-ifs get in the way again, but she couldn’t seem to stop them late in the night when sleep eluded her.
What if Eli never found peace? What if he always chased the rankings or some other accolade to prove to himself that he was worthy? Would it be a never-ending cycle of behavior? What if nothing she, or anyone else, did filled the hole that growing up in Marshall Collins’s shadow had created? What if eventually, no matter how much she loved him, Eli followed the same patterns as her father?
Amara sighed. She was looking for things to worry about besides the potential time bomb in her body. She knew it but couldn’t quite manage to force her brain to be quiet. Leaning over Eli’s shoulder, she glared at the clock. Just past three.
Once again, she was going to be operating on only a few hours of sleep. It wasn’t ideal for the health fair, but she’d find a way to manage. Cooking all day was easier than work. And being on her feet would keep her from falling asleep.
Soft lips pressed against the base of her neck. “Trouble sleeping?” Eli’s words were husky with sleep.
Amara lightly kissed his cheek. “I’m fine. Go back to sleep.”
Gentle hands ran along Amara’s belly. When Eli’s fingers hovered just above her panty line, she let out a light groan.
“I don’t think you really want me sleeping,” Eli whispered against her ear as his hand slid along the side of her breast. Then he started dropping kisses across the top of her shoulder. Gently pulling the thin straps of her tank top down, he sighed as her breasts rubbed against his hard chest.
Eli had lovingly explored her body over the last few weeks, memorizing each spot where Amara responded. He used those touches with ruthless abandon now, to drive her close to the precipice of need. She arched against him, but he held her firmly in place.
Amara felt his growing need rise against her. Rubbing her hand along the ridge of his arousal, Amara let out a soft plea. “Eli, now...please.”
His hands cupped her butt, before pulling her underwear off. Eli kissed her deeply while he twisted to grab a condom. Lifting her leg over his, Eli pushed against her.
“Eli,” Amara cried at his maddeningly slow pace.
His lips lingered against the sensitive skin beneath her ear as his fingers pressed against her swollen bud of pleasure. “If we’re up hours before everyone else, then we have no reason to rush, Amara.”
He teased her with his fingers, while his lips traced tantalizing kisses along her burning skin. Each caress drove her closer to the edge, but never over it as he continued his slow pace. It was heaven, hell and everything in between.
Gripping the sides of his face, Amara placed kisses along his jaw, quivering with need as Eli slowly drove into her—it wasn’t enough. Finally, she locked her leg around his waist, her body rocketing into oblivion as he slid all the way into her. “Eli...” Amara sighed as he held her tightly.
He was hers. All the worries and doubts receded into the calm night as she claimed him. For tonight that was enough.
* * *
Eli looked at the clock on the nightstand. They needed to be at the hospital in less than two hours if they wanted to have their booth prepared for the start of the health fair. That meant they needed to be up, getting Lizzy fed and ready to go to his mom’s fifteen minutes ago.
But Amara looked so peaceful for the first time in over a week. Eli ran a hand over her shoulder. Her training as an ER nurse was probably the only reason she was still functioning on so little rest.
Every time her cell rang, Eli watched her tense. And every time she saw it wasn’t her doctor calling with the test results, he saw fear, hope and fatigue play across her face as she made another forced joke. He couldn’t take any of her worries away. Eli was completely helpless to make this better.
His phone dinged as an email popped in from one of the hospitals he’d reached out to about their national rankings. It didn’t have much information, but neither had any of the others. He just needed one look at the criteria they were being judged against. Which was beginning to seem as elusive as the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
Figuring out how to get Boston General on the ranking list had kept his mind occupied while they’d waited for her test results. And Amara’s too. She’d looked over the stats and agreed that it seemed more like a popularity contest than it should. She’d listened to his theories. And even offered a few of her own.
Doug Jenkins, the head of Boston Gen., still wasn’t sold on focusing on rankings. In fact, he’d told Eli that the only metrics he cared about were shorter ER wait times, staff retention issues in the ER, and better long-term results in the oncology department. Doug didn’t consider the rankings a priority compared to providing care to t
he local community. And he’d flat out refused to direct personnel and resources toward winning over a bunch of journalists.
But he’d agreed to look at whatever Eli found. And Eli was determined to deliver. It would help everyone see Boston Gen. for what it was—a great hospital.
Worthy of recognition.
Amara rolled over and laid her hand against his chest. Eli smiled as she let out a soft moan, she was so content. He couldn’t wake her. Sliding from the bed, Eli kissed her temple, and she didn’t stir. That made the choice easy. She needed to sleep more than she needed to do the health fair demonstration.
Waiting until he got downstairs, Eli grabbed his cell and placed a call. As a precaution, he’d hired Pippin Werth, one of Boston’s premier chefs, the day after Amara found the lump. Eli had tried to tell her about Pippin repeatedly. But every time he’d mentioned helping with the health fair, Amara had interrupted him. And he hadn’t wanted to admit that if they got bad news before the fair, she might be unable to do it.
It had felt too much like tempting fate.
* * *
Light kisses pressed against Amara’s temple. “Amara, love...” The words floated just above her consciousness. Eli’s fingers ran along her side, and she moaned, not ready to start the day. How long had it been since she’d been able to sleep until the alarm went off?
Alarm...
That word finally pierced the fog, and Amara sat up. “Did I oversleep?” She rubbed her eyes and then stared at Eli, holding out a cup of tea.
“Nope. You’re waking right on time.”
She looked at the nightstand, but the clock was turned away from her. She shot a glance at Eli, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I need to grab a folder from the office.”
Lizzy wailed as Eli moved off the bed. “I put her in the Pack ’n Play while I came to wake you up. She still hates that contraption.”
He’d woken Lizzy and got her ready to let Amara sleep. That was sweet, but it had to mean they needed to get moving to make it to the fair on time. “I’ll get the folder if you’ll tell me where it’s at.”
Eli hesitated for a moment, but Lizzy let out another scream.
“If one of us doesn’t get down there, she is going to tip it over.” It had never happened, but Amara had watched the angry toddler rock it before, trying to find its weak spots. It was only a matter of time before she figured out a way to escape.
“Top drawer on the right,” Eli stated as he rushed out of the room.
Amara washed quickly, brushed her teeth, pulled her clothes on and pulled her hair into a ponytail. It was nice of Eli to let her sleep in, but she hated feeling rushed.
She hurried to his office and pulled the drawer open to grab the only file inside. The words “Pippin Werth” were scrawled across a Post-it note attached to it. Why did Eli have the name of one of the top chefs in Boston?
The clock on the wall started to chime, and Amara felt her blood chill as the clock struck nine. They’d needed to be at the hospital by seven to ensure the booth was set up. The health fair opened at nine. Now! The fair was opening right now!
Flipping the folder open, she stared at a check made out for more than her monthly rent to Pippen Werth. The memo section held Eli’s scrawled note: Health Fair.
At least she knew why he hadn’t bothered to wake her. Pain rippled through Amara as she struggled to catch her breath. After all the work she’d done.
Her mother’s recipes... Amara felt her heart crack. Why?
When Susan had joked about him hiring a celebrity chef, it had seemed so ridiculous. Apparently, his promises to let her run this on her own meant nothing. Had he not trusted her to do it right?
“We need to get moving,” Eli stated as Amara entered the living room.
“Why?” Amara folded her arms and leaned against the door jamb. “Pippin Werth must have the booth under control. No doubt that’s what you’re paying him so handsomely for.”
* * *
Juggling Lizzy, her diaper bag and her favorite stuffed animal, Eli swallowed as he saw the hurt hiding behind Amara’s fury. “I’m sorry.”
Setting Lizzy’s bag down, he handed the squirming toddler her stuffed doll and set her at his feet too. If she tried to wander, he could put her in the play yard, but he’d prefer not to have this conversation while she screamed.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, honey. You’ve barely slept since...” He let the words die away. They never talked about the lump she’d found. Eli tried again. “The health fair didn’t need to be one more worry for you.”
“That wasn’t your decision!” Amara snapped, and he saw her flinch. “You decided I couldn’t do this? And you didn’t tell me! I’m supposed to be your partner. You promised that. Or did you figure you couldn’t handle it if I lost? If your famous winning streak came to an end.” Her eyebrows rose, but her voice was even.
“That’s not fair,” Eli protested. “You were exhausted and you needed to rest.” Opening his palms, he said, “Partners help.”
“Partners tell each other what they are doing,” Amara countered.
Pushing a hand through his hair, Eli stared at her.
She was right.
But it was fear that had driven this decision, not pride, though the results were still the same. “I should have told you. But if Dr. Henricks...” Eli let those words die away too. He was a doctor, but the word cancer still got caught in his throat.
“Yes, you should have.” Amara’s lip wobbled. “There were other options, Eli. I mean, we could have asked one of the other doctors to cover for us. We could have canceled or just shown up late. There are almost thirty booths this year. It would have been fine...”
“Channel 4 is covering the event.” Eli hated himself as the words slipped out of his mouth. This wasn’t about better coverage for Boston General. It wasn’t.
“So, you hired a ringer to ensure that if I wasn’t perfect, a local news channel wouldn’t see one empty booth?” Amara wrapped her arms around herself.
Tears filled Amara’s eyes as she stared at him, and Eli’s heart broke. “I’m sorry, Amara. I should have found a way to tell you, but I tried to talk to you about it several times. You wouldn’t let me help with the fair once you took this over. Other than taste-testing duties.”
“Because I had it handled.” Amara’s shoulders shook.
“Or because you didn’t want my help? Because you still think you might have to do everything by yourself eventually? That I won’t follow through on my promises.” He held his breath as he stared at her. He wasn’t going to walk away from her. But Amara had to believe it too or their relationship was never going to work.
“I don’t need to win this year. I want the fair to be successful, for Boston General, that’s all. But I also needed to help you, Amara.” Eli stepped toward her.
Amara’s shoulders loosened, but her jaw was still tight. “This wasn’t about adding to your personal stats or Boston General’s?”
Personal stats.
That jab hurt.
“No.” Eli wrapped his arms around her, grateful when she didn’t pull away. “I’ve laid beside you for the last week. I know how little sleep you’ve gotten. I’ve heard you crying in the shower.”
“I didn’t want to upset you,” Amara whispered.
Eli lifted her chin. “I can handle the upset, Amara. My feelings for you are not so fragile that they’ll be broken by a few well-deserved sob-fests.”
Amara’s dark eyes shimmered as she squeezed him tightly. “Sorry I didn’t ask for help.”
“Well, we both have things we can help each other with. Deal?” Eli dropped a kiss against her cheek. Amara bit her lip as she stared at him, and worry churned in his stomach. Could she not accept his help?
“I’ll try.” Amara smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Eli kissed her che
ek. “I messed up. I did it because I...”
Because I love you.
Those weren’t words he wanted to fling at her at the end of an argument. She might think he was just trying to distract her. “I did it because I was trying to take care of you—but it was still wrong.”
The rest of the tension finally started to leak from Amara. “I know the last few days haven’t been easy, or fun.”
“I’ve been with you and Lizzy, so they’ve been darn near perfect.” Eli meant those words. He’d loved every second she’d been with him. Even this morning’s argument had brought them closer.
“When we get to the health fair, I am taking over,” Amara stated. “I’m cooking my mom’s recipes.”
Eli agreed. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
* * *
“Eli.” Amara grinned.
“What do you need me to get?” After thanking Pippin for getting everything set up and serving the first rounds of visitors, Eli had been Amara’s runner for most of the day. Their supplies were nearly exhausted. There wasn’t really time to run to the store to pick up anything. If they needed to shut the booth early, that was fine.
“My phone.” Amara wiggled her butt and laughed. “It’s been ringing for the last hour. Can you see who keeps calling?”
Sliding his hand into her back pocket, Eli grabbed the phone. Staring at the list of missed calls, he felt his heart drop. It was Saturday, but Dr. Henricks had called three times.
If he was calling on the weekend...
“Dr. Henricks?” Amara’s voice was tight as she handed a sample to a customer.
Eli nodded as he stepped up to the booth. “I’ll handle things here. Take as long as you need.”
Amara swallowed and looked at the small line of people waiting. “I think I made enough for everyone.”
“If not, I’ll start a final batch. I’ve watched you most of the day. Pretty sure I can follow the recipes.”
Falling Again for the Single Dad Page 14
