Falling Again for the Single Dad

by Juliette Hyland

  The front door opened. “Eli?”

  Eli blinked as Amara’s voice carried down the hall. What was she doing here? She was supposed to be getting ready at her apartment tonight. He’d sent her a text. Told her he’d call soon. He hated that they’d had to reschedule their date, but when he explained what this meant, he was sure she’d understand. She wanted him to succeed—she’d said it herself only yesterday.

  “We’re in here, Amara,” Eli called. “I’m glad you came. There’s someone I want you to meet.”

  Her eyes were red from crying, and ice slid down Eli’s spine. It was his fault. But there had been a good reason.

  A great reason.

  “This is Jonah Richards. He’s responsible for the annual report.” Eli smiled and tried to catch her eye.

  “Well, I help organize it. We’re actually starting this year’s interviews and surveys next week. Very good timing on your boyfriend’s part.”

  She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Eli. “Not sure about that,” Amara stated bluntly. “I just need to get a few things.”

  As Amara headed for the stairs, she nodded to Jonah. “Nice to meet you. For the record, I think Boston General is a wonderful place to work.”

  He’d hurt her—again. But Eli had gotten their hospital included in the survey. Amara would celebrate with him.

  She would.

  Eli’s heart clenched as her tearstained face floated before his eyes.

  Wouldn’t she?

  Eli nodded toward Jonah. “Just give me a few minutes.”

  Jonah’s eyes had followed Amara’s departure. “I need to be heading out anyway. My wife will be wondering where I am. We’ll be in touch, Dr. Collins.”

  Eli accompanied Jonah to the door and said good-night, then hurried upstairs.

  “Amara,” Eli choked out as he saw her picking up her book from the nightstand and grabbing all the clothes that she’d kept here over the last month. “I’m sorry. He called and had some urgent questions. I had to—”

  “I understand, Eli.” Her words were barely audible.

  For a moment he could breathe again. Amara understood. So why was she still packing her things? When she finally looked at him, the sorrow in her dark eyes broke him.

  “I’m sorry, Amara. We can go dancing now,” Eli suggested. “To celebrate! Your dress is gorgeous; you are gorgeous. I’ll change right now. Lizzy’s already at Mom’s.”

  Her eyes flashed, and she shook her head. “So, you got us approved for the survey.” Amara zipped up the bag and put it over her shoulder.

  “Yes,” Eli said, but he was suddenly terrified of what it might cost. “Please.” He swallowed hard. How had he let something come before her again? How? “Stay.”

  “I want to.” Amara touched his cheek. “I do.”

  “But you’re not going to.” Eli’s heart was shattering as he stared at her.

  Amara sighed. “I’ve spent the last several weeks waiting for you. Waiting for you to come to bed, only to finally sleep alone. Waiting at lunch, waiting tonight. I warned you I wouldn’t compete with statistics and accolades. Tonight was supposed to be our night, ours. No matter what. You promised me. And yet—work came first.”

  Amara sucked in a deep breath, but she kept her eyes focused on him. “Did you consider rescheduling with Jonah? Setting up a time to see him tomorrow?”

  “No.” Eli realized what he had done, but he told her the truth. He’d been so excited that he’d texted the quick note to Amara and invited Jonah to his home to talk immediately. “It won’t happen again.”

  “I want to believe that.” Her voice broke, and Amara visibly tensed before continuing. “But you promised me the exact same thing yesterday. And in less than twenty-four hours, something else took priority over our plans. I want to be a partner, a wife, a mother. And I want a man who comes to bed with me, wants to raise our children together, arranges dates and then actually goes on them with me.”

  She added, “I want to be someone’s priority. Maybe that is selfish, but I want to know that I come before a building or an organization that can’t love you back.”

  You do. Eli wanted to scream those words, but his mouth refused to open.

  Her hand laid against his cheek for just a moment longer. “I hope that one day when you look at yourself, you’ll see what’s really there. And I hope you accept that man whether he’s won countless awards or none.” Amara dropped her hand and headed for the door. “He’s truly exceptional.”

  Eli felt his soul crack as Amara walked out the door. She’d told him what she wanted in a partner, and Eli had sworn to be that man. It had been in his grasp until he’d gotten distracted. He’d chased someone else’s acceptance when he’d always had hers. She’d walked away from him—again—and he totally understood why.

  Pulling out the drawer on his nightstand, Eli lifted out the small ring box. He’d chosen it weeks ago and planned to ask her... When? He’d been too busy to make the time.

  He groaned. When he’d finally finished with his plans for Boston Gen.? He’d put off asking the love of his life to marry him because he was too busy chasing stats and interviews.

  * * *

  The cup of tea was still warm as Amara sat behind the desk. It didn’t have a note; none of the others had either. She and Eli hadn’t been on the same shift all week. He’d effectively removed himself from the schedule any time she was on it. Without the pain that still radiated through her body, Amara might believe the last few months had been the best and worst dream.

  “The surveys from US News & Reports arrived today.” Griffin laid the envelope on the nurses’ station and walked away. She contemplated throwing it in the trash, but if Eli had managed to get Boston General nominated for the list, she felt honor-bound to fill out the staff survey.

  “Look!” Amara heard one of the nurses let out an excited squeal. “This is so exciting.”

  Holding the envelope in her hand, Amara stared at the staff around her. They were all excitedly holding their surveys. Congratulations, smiles and laughter dominated the ER floor.

  Over just being nominated...

  Amara felt her insides chill. Eli was right—the staff had wanted that recognition. And he’d given it to them. She’d been so worried about being left behind that she hadn’t considered others wanted it too.

  A pit formed in her stomach as she ripped open the envelope. Eli should be here to see the people he usually worked with celebrate. Amara’s fingers were numb as she stared at the list of hospitals and practitioners. Dr. Carmichael and Griffin were both listed as potential candidates. Where was Eli’s name after all the work he’d done to make this happen?

  Amara marched toward Griffin, shaking the survey paperwork. “Where’s Eli’s name? I know the hospitals get to nominate their physicians. Where is it?”

  “Is it me or Dr. Carmichael you think doesn’t belong?” Griffin held up his hands as Amara glared at him.

  “Eli turned down his nomination.” Griffin sighed. “Happy?”

  No. “He...he...” Amara felt her insides shake.

  Had her fears cost Eli his dreams?

  Her heart raced as she stared at the list. She’d challenged him to put her first, but Amara hadn’t meant to make him give up on the accolades completely.

  Or had she?

  Heat engulfed Amara’s skin as she stood among the celebrating staff. Was that the only way she’d think he was putting his family first? She wanted to say no, but the truth floored her. Had her love really been that fragile?

  Amara crumpled the sheets of paper and then started straightening them out. Eli had worked hard for this. She couldn’t just throw it away.

  Like she’d thrown their relationship away...

  Amara forced herself to breathe. Despite everything he’d done, Amara had played the what-if game and only focused on the n
egatives. What if this was enough for Eli? What if seeing the staff at Boston Gen. happy was all he’d really wanted? What if she’d been willing to reschedule a dancing date or waited for him to call? What if she could have had everything she wanted, and Eli could too?

  * * *

  Lizzy was playing on the floor while Eli downed another cup of coffee. He hadn’t managed to get much sleep since Amara left. But he’d taken a cold hard look at himself, and Eli had not liked the image in the mirror.

  He’d been chasing recognition for so long. First from Marshall and then from a stupid survey for an accolade that didn’t matter. It was ridiculous. When he’d decided to give it up, Eli had spent an entire day thinking about what he wanted, not the script he’d tried to follow since birth. What were Eli’s true measures for a successful life?

  The answer had been easy to see with the gaping hole left in his heart. And it had nothing to do with ratings, apps, or the opinions of others. Eli was a good doctor—a great doctor already—awards or no awards. What Eli wanted was a happy family, a long life full of love, good work and adventures. Everything that Amara wanted, and he hadn’t even realized it was the real prize.

  Eli had had that life too. For a few blessed weeks, he’d had it. Until he’d let a simple comment by an irate patient’s relative be the final thing that sent him spiraling out of control. It wasn’t Mrs. Mora’s fault. Eventually, his father, Griffin, a nurse, or some other stranger would have said something that made him want, so desperately, to prove them wrong.

  That was what Eli had done so many times. He’d gone into emergency medicine because he’d felt it was his true calling. Then he’d immediately let Marshall’s digs cause him to chase an acceptance that he doubted his father was capable of ever giving. Marshall’s desire to be the best would always keep him from accepting a competitor for that title. Even if it was his own son.

  The one person who’d never questioned his choices had been Amara. She’d offered him acceptance ten years ago and again when they’d reconnected. He’d never had to earn it—so it hadn’t felt real.

  That was the truth that burned him the worst. He’d thrown away the most real thing in his life. He’d always love her.

  Always.

  The doorbell rang, and Eli pushed his hands through his hair. He wasn’t really presentable, but he doubted that was going to change anytime soon. “It’s open,” Eli called, not caring if the person on the other side of the door came in or left.

  “Why is Griffin Stanfred’s name on this survey and not yours?” Amara’s voice was tired as she walked into the kitchen.

  Eli shook his head and tried to figure out why Amara was here. His arms ached to pull her to him. To hold her, just one last time. It would never be enough, but he’d give almost anything for one more hug.

  One more kiss, one more tomorrow.

  Sucking in a deep breath, Eli shrugged. “The hospital could nominate two physicians from every department. When I talked to Doug, I suggested that we put at least two names down in every category. Just being nominated is something that Griffin and the others can put on their résumé.”

  “That is not what I asked, and you know it.” Amara scowled. “Why did you, Dr. Eli Collins, withdraw your name from contention? Was it because of me?” Her voice wobbled. “Were you punishing yourself?”

  “Oh, honey. No.” Eli stepped around the counter, but he still didn’t reach for her. If he did, and she moved away, he wasn’t sure he could survive that. “I did it for me, and for Griffin.”

  “For Griffin?” Amara blinked. “I don’t understand.”

  “Griffin is looking to advance his career in a year or so. I’m not planning on leaving Boston Gen.” Eli hesitated. “Unless you want me to?”

  “No,” Amara whispered.

  That simple answer sent hope cascading through Eli’s heart. “The nomination means more for him than for me.”

  “But it means the accolades, the acceptance, go to Griffin too.” Amara walked toward him. “You needed those.”

  Eli sighed. “No. I wanted them. So badly that I looked past the one person’s acceptance who mattered most. And I lost her.”

  He took a chance and reached for Amara’s hand. “I don’t need to chase awards, love. I promise if any drop into my lap, I will happily accept them. But I want what I had and got too busy to enjoy. I want zoo days and dancing dates, vacations, morning snuggles and weird tea in the cupboard. I want all of it. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to show that to you if you will just give me a second second chance.”

  A tear slipped down Amara’s cheek. “I never wanted you to not get all the awards.” She hiccupped. “Or maybe I did. Because I was scared. I was so afraid that I’d get left behind that I never considered running beside you. That we could chase all our dreams together. I almost let fear chase away our happily-ever-after.”

  “Oh, honey—”

  “No, let me finish, please.” Amara wiped a tear away. “My father chased success, and my mom was alone, but that was her life. Not mine. I have been playing what-ifs for years. I thought it was so I could protect myself.” She choked back a sob. “But I refuse to let fear cost me everything.”

  She put her hand on his cheek as she continued. “I want you to have every accolade, Eli Collins. And I want to be by your side as you collect them. I want to be your partner in everything. I love you.”

  “I love you too,” Eli replied as his heart soared. His world righted as she held his gaze. This was life’s top prize.

  EPILOGUE

  “IT’S HOT!” LIZZY complained as Amara held her hand.

  “We’ll be done soon,” Amara promised. The head of the hospital stepped to the podium, and Amara smiled. Doug had sworn this would take no more than fifteen minutes.

  “Up!” Lizzy said.

  The three-year-old was having a rough time understanding why her constant growth spurts and Amara’s growing belly meant that Amara couldn’t hold her as long anymore. But she was being so patient today.

  Just as she bent down to pick Lizzy up, Eli joined them. “Why don’t you let me hold you, sweetie?” He kissed Amara’s cheek as he lifted Lizzy.

  Amara leaned her head against his shoulder and grinned. “Not that I’m complaining, but I thought Doug wanted you front and center for this?”

  Eli laughed as he pulled at the collar of his shirt. “I told him I wanted the best seat in the house and standing back here is that location.” He dropped a kiss across Amara’s lips. “Besides, we’ll see the banner better from here.”

  The US News & Reports team had sent banners to all the hospitals listed in the annual report. Amara had joked that it was a great marketing campaign for the magazine, and Eli had agreed. But it was a nice perk.

  As the banner unrolled down the side of the hospital, Amara looked at Eli. It had taken a few years, but he’d made this possible. Her heart was full. “Happy?”

  Eli stared at her and placed his free hand on her stomach, where their son was restless in the heat too. “Incredibly so.” He kissed her before nodding toward the banner. “And it has nothing to do with that.”

  Amara laughed and gestured toward the bright blue words acknowledging Boston General as one of this year’s Top-Rated Hospitals. “It’s a nice bonus, though.”

  Eli chuckled. “It is.”

  * * *

  If you enjoyed this story, check out this other great read from Juliette Hyland

  Unlocking the Ex-Army Doc’s Heart

  Available now!

  Keep reading for an excerpt from The Vet’s Secret Son by Annie O’Neil.

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  CHAPTER ONE

  ELLIE LIFTED THE small ball of fluff up in front of her face and gave it a nuzzle. Puppy time after a difficult surgery was always curative. ‘Who’s the best little-bitty puppy?’

  The pitch-black Labrador put its paw on her nose then gave her a tiny pink-tongued lick on the cheek. Even though she’d had a million puppy moments like it, Ellie’s heart strained at the seams.

  ‘You’re definitely the cutest.’

  As if in protest, the other puppies—a mad mix of golden, red, black and a solitary chocolate one—began tumbling up and over her legs, vying for cuddles.

  Four weeks old and full of life. A perfect litter of ten, spanning every colour of the Labrador spectrum. It was the last litter Esmerelda, Ellie’s beloved Lab, would have, and even though she knew she wasn’t entirely objective, she was certain it was the best.

  She picked up another one and breathed in the sweet, scrummy puppy scent. Mmm... Perfect. She couldn’t wait for Mav to get back from surf school. Her son’s giggles of delight combined with puppy cuddles...sheer heaven.

  ‘Having a bit of puppy therapy, are we?’

  Ellie looked up and saw her long-term mentor smiling down at her. ‘Ha! You caught me, Henry.’

  ‘Tough surgery?’

  ‘Very.’ She told him about the golden retriever who’d been injured when he’d tripped whilst carrying a big stick.

  ‘And the oropharynx?’

  ‘There was a truckload of splinters in his tongue and his mouth. A huge one was lodged in his throat, the poor lad. He’s in Recovery now. I don’t know who’s feeling worse. Him or his owner.’

  Henry gave a sympathetic shrug. ‘It’s a tough call sometimes. I just had a woman sob the entire time I clipped her cat’s nails!’