redeeming cupid 01 - struck by eros

by Jenn Windrow

  If I thought Grayson was mad before, it was nothing compared to the look of pure death on his face when he turned to confront me. “Mind explaining to me why Len’s fucking soul mate just got away?”

  “I’m not giving him up.” I stuck my chin out and gave him a look I hoped curled his innards.

  “And you think that’s going to be okay with Cupid, with Len, with the woman he’s supposed to be with?”

  I steadied my words even though my heart had just entered the Kentucky Derby. “So, they don’t meet and he lives a happy life with me. What’s the worst that could happen?”

  Grayson paced the small room. “You don’t know what the consequences are.” He stopped, hands on his hips. “Are you willing to risk his life for your own happiness?”

  “This isn’t a life or death situation. It’s love, plain and simple. I love Len and he loves me. We belong together and that’s the way it’s staying.”

  “I always thought you were selfish, but I chalked it up to me, to our situation. Now I realize you are truly selfish to the core.” He yanked open the door. “Fix. Your. Mess.”

  I stood at the sink and allowed my heart to slow from a gallop to a lope. I didn’t know the consequences of not connecting two soul mates, but I’d take whatever Cupid shot my way, as long as Len stayed in my life.

  Grayson could give me the pissed off, I-don’t-approve-of-your-choices attitude as much as he wanted, but Len’s soul mate was gone. Their once in a lifetime moment over. My heart fluttered like it had grown Cupid’s wings. The silly cherub lost. I got to keep the man.

  I stepped out of the bathroom. Grayson sat at a prime spot, middle of the room, and watched me emerge. I held my head high, refusing to meet his eyes, and walked past him.

  To the man of my dreams.

  Outside, Len greeted me with a smile. I folded myself into his waiting arms, right where I belonged, and snuggled close. I glanced back to where Grayson sat, but he had left. Instead of feeling relief, a cloud of unhappiness fell over my heart. Unhappiness that had a name.

  Cupid.

  If my winged boss wanted to go a few rounds, I was prepared to deliver a TKO shot to Cupid’s chubby cheeks to fight for the man I loved.

  Five

  Finders Keepers. Looser Weepers.

  I sat, swirling the plastic water bottle in my hand, and waited for today’s bobbing blue arrows to make an appearance. The bank’s revolving door spun like a dust devil depositing people into the lobby. Men and women who walked across the gleaming black marble floors on their way to the tellers sitting behind their two-inch thick security glass.

  The only problem, they were all arrow-free.

  Grayson sat across the plastic table, earbuds firmly in his ears, music turned up to an I-can’t-hear-Noel volume. He’d been ignoring me all afternoon, which normally would be a cause for ticker-tape parade. Today, it irritated the shit out of me. I could handle his crappy comebacks and sexual innuendos and shitty attitude, but his total silence. Well, that was just plain rude.

  I slid the water bottle into Grayson’s line of sight and swirled harder, trying to get my co-worker’s attention, but he turned up the music and continued to bob his head.

  Damn him. I let the bottle fall to the table.

  After yesterday’s near disaster of almost losing my fiancé to another woman, I was in a sensational mood. Pissing Grayson off would launch it to spectacular. Too bad I would need a cattle prod to get him to pay attention.

  Just when I thought the birds couldn’t chirp any sweeter, the sun couldn’t shine any brighter, and I couldn’t be any happier, the door spun one more time and Len’s soul mate walked through the lobby, blue arrow bobbing high over her could-have-just-walked-out-of-a-salon head. Yesterday’s Lycra, sports bra, and cross trainers replaced with a navy-blue, pin-striped suit, silk camisole, and high heels. She passed by our table, a trail of Coco Channel in her wake, on her way to the elevators behind us. She pushed the button on the wall and waited for her ride, head buried in an open folder in her hands.

  What felt like the tip of Cupid’s arrow dug deep into my gut and twisted and turned and churned up bits of doubt and insecurity, and the need to fight for safety and security.

  Grayson pulled his ear buds out of his ear. “Looks like someone doesn’t approve of your relationship.” The first words he’d spoken all day.

  “Maybe she’s been reassigned.”

  He gave me a half-lipped I-am-not-buying-it smirk that included one raised eyebrow and a head tilt. “Not likely.” He shoved his ear buds back in his ear and continued to ignore me.

  “Hey, a girl could hope.” I knew he couldn’t hear me, but I didn’t say it for his benefit.

  I tapped him on the shoulder. He didn’t respond. I tapped him harder. Nothing. I reached over and plucked his head phones out of his ears. He looked in my direction and gave me an exaggerated sigh.

  “Aren’t you going to help?”

  He snatched the cord out of my hand. “What’s the point? You’ll find a way to screw it up…again.”

  The elevator dinged, our conversation stopped while we watched our mark get on. The doors closed, and she disappeared from our sight. At that moment I wished the elevator cable would snap, plunging Len’s unwanted soul mate to the basement never to be heard from again, but quickly slammed the brakes on that kind of thinking. No one deserved to die. The bright-red numbers above the doors blinked on and off until it finally stopped at the tenth floor and held.

  I turned back to Grayson. “We don’t even know if Len is still her soul mate.”

  He started tapping a beat on his leg, fast and furious. “You think because you laid claim to Len that Cupid is going to float him over to you on a silver-lined cloud?” He stopped tapping and ran his hand through his hair. “You’re not eight and this isn’t a game of finders keepers.”

  Where’s the cat to get Grayson’s tongue when you needed it? Screw that. Make it a lion.

  “Let’s see who her matching arrow is and we’ll go from there.” I worked hard to fill my words with confidence.

  “Whatever makes you happy.” The word “princess” was implied under layers of sarcasm.

  Flump, flump, flump. The rubber bottom of the revolving door scraped against the marble. Grayson and I both looked up. In walked Len with a bright, neon-blue arrow bobbing over his head. Cupid’s arrow dug even deeper, shattering my heart into a thousand tiny shards that pierced my vital organs.

  Tears filled my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. Those fucking arrows erased my life of safety, stole my security, left me vulnerable to more hurt. Cupid was giving me a second chance to do the right thing, follow his orders, be a good little minion.

  Because what Cupid wants, Cupid gets.

  But Cupid couldn’t have my happiness. He couldn’t take away what I needed, what I had to have to secure my happiness. He couldn’t have Len, and neither could little Miss Business Suit.

  I ignored my trembling chin, my blurry eyes, the emptiness in my heart, and picked at the label of my water bottle, shredding the paper into tiny pieces that matched my heart. Grayson placed his headphones on the table and crossed his arms over his chest. He watched my world crumble. To his credit, he didn’t utter one single I-told-you-so. Didn’t touch me. Didn’t try to make it better. And that was fine because one act of kindness would have destroyed my carefully built wall of denial.

  When I felt like my words would come out tremor-free, I looked into Grayson’s eyes and laid down a challenge. “You’ll have to hog tie me to keep me from interfering.”

  Grayson held his headphones up and snapped the cord tight. “Think this cord’s long enough to wrap around your skinny ankles?” His joke was wrapped in pity, not humor.

  Len walked up to the teller’s window, passed a slip through the thin slit at the bottom of the divider, and carried on a polite conversation. He conducted a normal transaction, unaware that his fiancée sat across the lobby and that his supposed sou
l mate was ten floors up. Unaware that he was a pawn in Cupid’s sick game.

  “I’m serious. I won’t let Cupid win. I won’t let him take Len away from me so I can spend eternity with you.” I gathered my purse and water bottle and pushed back my chair.

  Grayson’s whole body went rigid. “What are you planning, Noel?”

  “I’m getting Len out of here before you can connect him.” I stood, placed one foot in front of the other, held my head high, confidence in every step, and walked right up to Len.

  I made sure Grayson watched every step I took in the opposite direction from him. I needed him to witness my act of defiance against Cupid. Against our relationship. Against the unfairness. Needed him to know that I wanted to make my own choices. Pick who I loved. I bent down and ran my hand up Len’s leg. “Noel?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “What are you doing here?” His greeting left a lot to be desired. Where was the usual kiss, the embrace?

  My mouth opened but no sound escaped. I shut it and tried again. “I…I…” My trap snapped shut, and stopped trying to force an excuse I didn’t have. All my stammering and stuttering just made me look guilty. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. “I saw you walk in and followed you.”

  “You’re far from your studio. Didn’t you say you’d be working late tonight?”

  The teller pushed Len’s receipt through the slit and wished him a good day. We turned and walked to the exit. “Plans changed, looks like I’m free for the rest of the day.”

  “No you’re not.” Grayson walked up, hands in the pocket of his faded loose fit jeans, his smile like a predator that cornered its prey. “We have some work to finish. A few problems that weren’t resolved yesterday.”

  Len looked at Grayson with narrowed eyes. “You again?” He rubbed at the wrinkles between his brows.

  Grayson gave Len a half-a-second glance. “Me again.” He turned his attention on me. “I need a few minutes of Noel’s time to fix a mess.”

  “We can talk tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow will be too late. The project will be ruined.”

  “Take that up with our boss…” The ding of the elevator cut off the rest of my sentence.

  The doors parted. Len’s soul mate walked through, briefcase in one hand, phone in the other. She headed for the revolving door and Grayson and I watched her walk by. How would Grayson stop her before she disappeared from Len’s life once again?

  Not my problem. All I had to do was sneak Len out of the building like the stolen property he was.

  “How about dinner?” I wrapped my arm through Len’s and guided him to the exit, leaving Grayson standing with a gaping mouth and pissed off radiating out of every over-astringented pore. I stepped into my own slice and Len entered the one behind me. I concentrated on the many greasy fingerprints on the glass and not on the irate man left behind.

  Len’s mate stepped onto the sidewalk, and Grayson burst through the handicapped exit. In a desperate attempt to stop her, he knocked her briefcase out of her hand. Paper fell to the ground, pens rolled, personal effects flew. Her hands gestured wildly in the air before bending over and grabbing her belongings.

  Grayson knelt down next to her and captured the pages that tried to take flight. “I’m so sorry…” He lifted up the paper, scanning it quickly before he handed it back. “Lauren?”

  She took the paper from his hand. “Yes, Lauren. And it’s okay, accidents happen.”

  A stray piece of paper floated over to where Len and I stood, and settled between his loafers. He picked it up, walked over, and handed it to her. My heart stopped when their fingers brushed. I watched their arrows, holding my breath tight.

  The newly named Lauren’s arrow, flickered, faded, and almost disappeared, but Len’s arrow didn’t falter.

  I cleared my throat. Len broke contact and her arrow popped back, bright as a halogen bulb.

  Crisis averted. Fate stepped in, proving love to be stronger than Cupid’s arrow.

  “Let’s go to dinner.” I wrapped my hand around his, pulling him far away from Grayson, Lauren, and Cupid’s reach. “There’s this fantastic Thai restaurant around the corner.”

  Len didn’t say a word on our walk to dinner. He didn’t hold my hand, or bridge the three-foot gap between us. Something stunk in Denmark.

  We entered the restaurant, found a table tucked back in the corner behind a large red pillar, and took our seats. A tiny Asian girl placed two glasses of water on the plastic tablecloth and left us menus. Len flipped his menu open and held it in front of his face, still silent.

  “Are you mad about something?” I stuck my spoon in my glass and swirled the water.

  He grabbed the spoon from my hand and put it on the table between us. “Stop. That drives me crazy.”

  My lips turned down and I tried to control the toddler pout in my voice. “Sorry.” I tucked my hands between my thighs to stop from grabbing the spoon and swirling away my nervousness.

  “Not mad, frustrated.” He placed his menu on the table and leaned back in his chair. “Two days in a row I’ve found you with Grayson. A name I might never have heard if that couple hadn’t mentioned him at dinner the other night.”

  A stray piece of hair fell into my face and I tucked it back. “I should’ve told you Grayson and I had a work thing today.”

  Len blew out a sigh that messed up the front of his hair. “It feels like you’re keeping secrets from me.” The waitress came and Len ordered for both of us. She left and Len continued, “I don’t like secrets or games or lies.”

  What could I say to him? Right now my life was nothing but secrets, games, lies, and adultery. And the secrets were more than make-you-frustrated bad. They were soul crushing, I’m-an-evil-bitch bad.

  “Is there something more going on between you and Grayson? Something other than work and random encounters?”

  I couldn’t answer that question without another lie, so I talked around it and did my best to make Len happy with my explanation and half-truths. “I wish Grayson wasn’t in my life. Our boss forced us to work together. I’m trying to find a way out of our partnership, but until I do, I’m stuck with him.”

  “How many more days do you plan on spending with him?”

  “I have to talk to him every day, just work things, nothing more.”

  Our food came and we both took a couple of we-must-eat bites. I hoped that Len would forget our conversation, move on to another subject, but when his fork clattered onto his plate, I knew that we weren’t done discussing Grayson.

  “I am mad.” He tossed his napkin on the table. “I’ve caught you in more lies the past several days than I have in the past two years.” His words carried five-alarm heat. “I expect my future wife to be honest with me at all times.”

  He acted like I was a disobedient puppy or a 1950’s housewife.

  “I already explained this. I didn’t tell you about Grayson because he is nothing to me.”

  “Bullshit.”

  I jumped at the unexpected curse word that passed his lips, glanced around to see if any of the other patrons noticed the stranger who now sat next to me. Twisted into a controlling shell of the man I loved for the past two years.

  He blotted the corners of his mouth with the napkin, like the foulness of the swear word could be wiped away. “Excuse my language.” He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “If he were really nothing to you, you would have told me about him. Not hidden him away like a dirty little secret.”

  “I didn’t realize that not telling you about a co-worker would cause you to lose your trust in me.” I reached across the table and covered his hand with mine. “Let me figure out a way to get out of working with Grayson, and he’ll be out of our lives for good.”

  Len smiled, picked up his fork with the hand not held down by mine, and started picking at his food. “I’d be very happy if I didn’t ever have to see him again.”

  At least we agreed on something.

  We finished our meal with polite
conversation about what he had done at work, what needed to be done around the house, and our plans for the weekend. But things were stilted between us, uncomfortable, unusual. A splinter had formed under the surface and I wasn’t sure I had tweezers small enough to pluck it out before it grew infected and festered.

  We walked out of the restaurant holding hands, but the warmth was missing from his touch. He left me at Doris with the promise to meet me at the house.

  I was out of options, out of time, and out of excuses. I needed freedom from Grayson, otherwise Len would leave. He hadn’t said the exact words, but they skimmed the surface, ready to break free if I didn’t find a way out of this mess.

  A small pit dropped into my stomach. Tiny. Not ready to sprout.

  * * * *

  Pulling into my driveway, I spotted Grayson’s black Audi parked next to Len’s BMW, and that pit sprouted limbs larger than the Laurel trees that shaded the cars.

  The limbs grew, twisted, tightened. Took my lungs and squeezed. Squeezed. Squeezed. Squeezed out every last bit of hope and happiness.

  Grayson stood on the front porch, leaning against the railing, hands stuffed in his pockets. I glanced at his face. Neutral. Bland. Uninterested.

  Asshole.

  I was afraid to look at Len, but I had to. And when I did my heart took hold of those limbs and clawed. Clawed its way down. Then settled right next to that shattered pit.

  Len marched like a stiff soldier on the grass, halfway between the porch and the driveway. The complete opposite of Grayson’s calm composure. He. Was. Pissed.

  Doris provided a safe, comfortable environment, free from angry men, but I didn’t deserve her comfort. I found my nerve, opened the door, and shoved one foot out of the car.

  My shoe hit the concrete. Len rushed over, his hands clenching and unclenching at his side, eyes pinched into tiny slits. He stopped in front of me, lifted his arm, and pointed at Grayson. “Why is he at our fucking house?” The second time I heard him swear in two years, both in the same night.

  “It’s time to tell him the truth, Noel,” Grayson yelled from the comfort of his perch.