My Almost

by Kelsey Cheyenne

  I’m acting out against Dan and he doesn’t even know it. My plan has worked and I’m inebriated and also dressed in skimpy clothes, allowing my cleavage to be on full display. I’m playing with fire but I’m too intoxicated to care.

  The fire burns brighter when Cole sidles up next to me at the makeshift bar. My hairs stand on end and my heart thrums louder than the bass pumping through the house. Every nerve in my being is alight with excitement and I’d be damned to stop now.

  “Come with me,” he whispers in my ear. His breath makes goosebumps shoot down my neck.

  He grabs my hand and leads me out onto the deck. We’re out here alone which is shocking considering all the people in the house, and he sits, making himself comfortable. I follow suit, but evidently it’s not close enough. He hooks a foot around one leg of my chair and pulls it closer to him. Our legs touch and he smiles a crooked smirk up at me.

  “Where’s your girl tonight?” I’m sure he’s referring to Tia which rubs me the wrong way.

  “With her boyfriend.” He nods his head and his lips flatten into a straight line.

  I glance over my shoulder and can see into the house. Callie is standing five feet from the door at the beer pong table cheering on Alison and Ellie. She catches my gaze and her eyes widen and her mouth drops open.

  I shrug and smirk back at her with an air of nonchalance though I’m anything but. Cole either doesn’t notice or ignores the exchange.

  Just then, the door opens and a bunch of people pile out onto the deck. One random guy says, “Shit, sorry dude,” to Cole and looks back and forth between the two of us.

  “No worries.” Despite the words, Cole leans in to whisper in my ear again. “It’s a little crowded out here, don’t you think?”

  I nod and he stands, offering me his hand. I know what it will mean if I take it, but I don’t even hesitate. His hand is warm and confident as he leads me back into the house. Callie’s jaw rests on the floor when she sees me with him and the rest of my friends watch in shock and amusement. A couple people make comments to Cole, but I don’t catch what’s said.

  He leads me up the stairs and opens the door at the top of the steps. After he closes it behind me, he presses up against me and kisses me. I don’t stop him. He tastes like liquor and holy shit that’s a lot of tongue.

  The room has three sets of bunk beds and he leads me toward the one closest to the door. “I sleep on the top bunk.” Not exactly The Ritz but I don’t care. This is Cole we’re talking about; I’d hook up with him in a bathroom if it was my lone option.

  I’m aware of the fact I still have a boyfriend. I’m also hyper-aware of the fact I couldn’t give two shits about him. What a perfect way to exact revenge on my absentee other half by hooking up with someone else on the very day Dan was supposed to come visit? It’s a bittersweet karma. Okay, it’s mostly just sweet.

  I lay down on the bunk and Cole hovers over me and continues to kiss me. I let my hand travel to tangle into the hair at the nape of his neck and the other is fisting his shirt at his side. He has one hand on my hip, testing the waters and inching it with slow precision under the fabric of my tight tank top while his other hand holds him up for support.

  We part for a brief instant, panting and still hungry for each other.

  Regret starts to spread through me, slow but steady. I shouldn’t be doing this, not with Cole. The sad part, the part fogging my head and making me question everything is how I wish it was another man hovering over me. Not Cole or Dan, but a different man. A man with dark hair and stormy eyes. A man I work with.

  Aiden’s gotten into my head and under my skin without me even realizing it. Desperate need for him is simmering in my belly and I’m fueling Cole on by accident. I have to talk to Aiden. I won’t be able to stop thinking about him until I do.

  Blinking, I force myself back into the moment.

  Cole takes off his shirt and I admire how fit he is. I trail my hands over his biceps, down his pecs and over his abs.

  “Do you wanna get a little more comfortable?” I cringe at the way he words the sentiment, but still I comply.

  That’s when realization smacks me square in the nose. I’m on my fucking period. Disappointment spreads through me like a fire igniting in my veins. I wish I wasn’t on my period because if I weren’t, I’d screw his brains out. Even if I’m pretending he’s someone else…

  And now I kind of feel like a little bit of an asshole leading him on. But I’m also having too much fun to dump the metaphorical ice water over the moment yet.

  So I take my top off. Sue me. My bra follows, and he plays with my breasts with eager roughness, the calluses on his hands scraping at the peaks of my nipples. He works his kisses down my neck and toward my breasts. In this moment he seems like a high schooler hooking up for the first time—a little lost and unsure how to pleasure me. His touches are a tad too rough, his kisses a tad too wet.

  His hands travel lower, and I can tell he’s tentative with nerves as he brushes along the top of my jean shorts. He pops the button, I suck in a sharp breath. I’m about to pump the brakes when the door bursts open.

  I grab my top to cover myself and hide my face under the covers even though whoever it is likely knows I’m the one who’s up here with him.

  “Holy shit, is that—nice work dude.” The unknown intruder says and I’m mortified. This is bad, like, really bad.

  “Dude, get the hell outta here.” The bed shakes and I can’t tell if Cole is leaving or someone else is shaking the frame. My breath quickens. I need to get dressed and get out.

  The door closes with a click. I risk a peek from under my safe haven. “You didn’t lock the door?” My voice is incredulous, and a little pissed off.

  “Sorry.” He scratches the back of his head. “Where were we?” he leans down to kiss my neck, but the mood is killed.

  “I can’t.” Jumping down from the bunk, I throw my shirt back on as Cole watches, hanging his head.

  With all the grace of a newborn giraffe, I climb down the steps of the bunk and rush out the door. I lean against of outside of it catching my breath and praying he doesn’t open it, but he doesn’t follow me or chase me. A few people see me exiting the room and make faces and unintelligible comments, but I don’t linger. I rush down the stairs to find my friends.

  “Chels, over here. Two people got shut out during beer pong and they’re streaking!” Callie is distracted, or just drunk, meaning she doesn’t ask me about Cole right away. It’s out of character for her.

  But the second she mentions streaking, a guy comes running through the house buck-naked. That’s one set of dick and balls I didn’t want to see tonight.

  “Can we go? I need to go.” Any other night, they wouldn’t leave the party early no matter what, but something in my voice must convey my utter desperation. Ellie and Alison stay behind but my body sags with relief that Callie and Sarah will leave with me.

  “COPS!” You’ve gotta be kidding me. The house lights go dim and the music gets turned off. My friends and I huddle behind a half wall near the back of the house. We see flashlights skimming the area out of the back door and hushed whispers fill the room.

  People crouch along the floor throughout and there’s a knock on the door. Nobody moves and it’s as if we all hold our breaths together.

  The knocking continues for several heated moments before ceasing. I fear a movie-like moment is about to go down and the cops will kick down the door.

  Silence ensues and after what seems like hours, someone opens the front door. “All clear! False alarm!”

  Like idiots, the lights go back on and the music blares through the house once more. I need to get the hell out of here.

  On the way home I tell her everything even though she had a good idea about what was happening already. People talk and gossip spreads fast. The idiots who walked in on us claimed to have seen my tits, but that’s not even possible. What a fucking nightmare.

  “What are you gonna do about Dan? Are yo
u gonna tell him?” I shake my head no. I should, considering the rumors are already spreading like wildfire, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

  But I was stupid and reckless and forgot about the two most important people and what would happen when Tia and Shane find out.

  “I’ve had a few noise complaints from some people.” Helen is outside waiting for us when we get home. Her voice reminds me of Roz from Monster’s Inc.

  “How is that even possible? We’ve barely even been here.” Sarah’s not afraid to speak up. It’s not wise to talk back to the lady who could evict us, but we’re too buzzed to care.

  The woman sniffs the air and takes a good look at each of us. “Are you drunk?”

  “No, of course not,” I offer and I’m not even lying. I’m not drunk.

  “This is your first warning. One more and you’re out.” She turns with harsh determination, her robe billowing in the light ocean air behind her and we all burst into a fit of giggles.

  “What a stuck-up bitch.” Sarah says louder than she should.

  “Shh!” I pull her inside and we all lose it. We should be walking on eggshells but maybe in the morning when the booze and weed wear off we’ll care.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  I wake up not filled with nearly as much regret as I should be.

  “Hey guys, what’s the plan for today?” I hop onto Callie’s bed and make myself comfortable. It’s the last day so we need to make it memorable.

  “Probably the same as last night.” I roll my eyes at the thought. Another day with the same old shit. I can’t keep smoking weed.

  Allison hops out of bed and she’s banging around in the kitchen. “I’m making margaritas for breakfast.”

  She’s all smiles and we watch as she dumps an entire bottle of tequila into the margarita mix. She blends it with a large, proud smile spreading across her face and makes herself a large glass, chugging it down. “Mmm, try some!”

  We help ourselves and I almost puke the moment the drink touches our tongues. “That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted.” Callie wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, her face full of disgust. She’s saying what we’re all thinking…or so I thought.

  “Ooh, margaritas!” Ellie helps herself the second she wakes up and downs an entire glass. “This is delicious.” Ellie and Alison must have special taste-buds because the mix is ninety-nine percent tequila with a splash of margarita mix. It’s downright foul. The two of them are drunk before eleven a.m. thanks to Allie’s drink mix.

  We head to the beach for our final day of drinking and partying. a bunch of guys are there already and so is Tia. The boys make catcalls and holler about last night at me and my pulse increases tenfold. Shit, shit, shit.

  “What’s that all about?” Tia asks as she joins us. I swallow thickly and keep my mouth shut. The rest of the girls sneak glances at me but the inquisitor doesn’t notice.

  One of the other guys must’ve overheard the question because he doesn’t keep his damn mouth shut. “You didn’t hear about Chelsea and Cole hooking up last night, T? It was the talk of the party.”

  My face heats and I’m sure it looks like an Irish girl who got caught in the sun too long—bright fucking red. I can’t even meet her eyes and it’s obvious she feels the same. She storms off to hang with some other people, leaving us high and dry and not letting me explain.

  “You mad, T?” The same idiot who spilled the beans calls after her.

  “No, why would I be mad?” She spins around, still walking backwards as she answers. Just great.

  I overhear a bunch of the guys talking about the drama since they’re standing right next to us and not even attempting to lower their voices.

  “Oh shit, T’s pissed at Chels.”

  “Well yeah, she has a crush on Cole and Chels is her best friend.”

  “Chels has a boyfriend, too, she just doesn’t care.”

  I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore, so I don’t. “Exactly. If she wanted to hook up with him so bad she could’ve, but she didn’t have the balls. I did. She can get over it.” I storm down to the water, away from this conversation and the people having it.

  I guess this ensures Dan will find out now. God damn it.

  “Uh, Tia just text me she’s leaving today with Shane. He’ll drive her home.” Callie tells me as she joins me by the water. Oh, well, I guess she’s pretty pissed at me after all. She doesn’t even want me to drive her home tomorrow. Whatever. She’ll get over it.

  The day passes in a flash and the party continues. Tonight I’ll keep to myself and let my friends get out of control. I’ve had enough fun for the week already.

  Sarah vanishes half way through the night. Callie texts her to say we’re heading home to pack and clean up before the drive home tomorrow. We keep drinking because we have to clear all the booze out of the house since we can’t take it home.

  At some point we must crash. I don’t remember crawling into bed or hearing Sarah come home.

  I’m awoken Saturday morning by Callie shoving me awake and Alison doing the same to Ellie.

  “What the fuck?”

  “Listen.” She points to her bedroom through the wall and moaning fills the room. Oh, shit. It’s six in the morning and Sarah is having sex. She has broken the no-boys-allowed rule at last.

  The rest of us finish cleaning up the house when there’s a knock on the door. We pull it open and it’s the freaking owner.

  “Someone told me there was a boy in here.” Does she have the fucking FBI spying on us or something? Jesus Christ.

  “What? There’s no boy here.” Alison quips, only for Sarah to appear with her conquest. Good timing, Sarah.

  The owner is red-faced and pissed. The vein in her neck protrudes, throbbing violently as she takes in the scene. “What is he doing here? I told you on day one, NO. BOYS. ALLOWED. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve all been drinking. I’ve just been kind enough to not kick you out. You’re lucky it’s time for you to go. Get out, now.”

  “He was helping us load the car, lady, chill.” Sarah of all people pipes up to talk back to the angry old lady. Read the room, Sarah, read the fucking room.

  “I don’t care what he’s doing here. No boys allowed. No exceptions. Now it’s time for you all to leave.” We obey since we’re already packing up and ready to head out, anyway. What a way to end senior week.

  I’m torn between wanting to stay on vacation longer and being ready to go home. I’m exhausted from staying out all night and I’m ready to go back to my bed and see my dogs.

  There may be one other reason I’m eager to get home. Aiden has been stuck in my mind all week thanks to his little text. I’m desperate to ask him what it was about and also why I haven’t heard from him since.

  All I know is I’m eager to see him again.

  5

  A Party Song (The Walk of Shame)

  My feet move slow as molasses as I force my body to cross the threshold into The Starting Line for my first shift back after vacation. The music blares through the sound system and the smell of rubber soles and aerosol water proofer wafts into my nose.

  I glance up and see a tall, handsome figure standing at the registers. I’m not sure when I started to consider Aiden to be handsome, but it seems his flirty behavior as of late has flipped a switch inside me.

  A smile pulls at my lips when we make eye contact. He fidgets with his glasses as he smiles back his boyish, cocky grin. I didn’t realize how much I missed talking to him and goofing off with him while I was gone.

  The stockroom door slams closed and I pull my eyes away from Aiden. “Chels!” Nate rushes over and surrounds me in a bear hug. I squeal and attempt to fight the embrace, but my arms hang limp by my sides as he rocks me back and forth. “I missed you.”

  “Really? I couldn’t tell.” I deadpan, my voice straining through the hold. He releases me and all but skips to the front of the store to help a woman who just walked in.

  I clock in at the registers wher
e Aiden is standing. Was he waiting for me? Why am I buzzing with adrenaline just from being in his direct proximity? Why are my hands getting clammy and my throat is scratchy like I need to clear it? My lips are dry and I wet them as I peek up at him.

  “How was your week?” Aiden’s voice nears a sing-song lilt and his grin is telling, like he knows all my secrets.

  “What? Fine. Good. Why are you looking at me like that?” My voice comes out gritty and defensive. I’m eyeing him with skepticism but there’s no way he knows anything. I’m just being paranoid and acting like a total spaz.

  “Why are you getting all defensive? Did you do things you shouldn’t’ve?” There’s an undercurrent of mischief in his tone and his gray eyes light up devilishly. He looks like a troublemaker and damn if he’s not a sight for sore eyes.

  I want to question him about his texts and the flirty banter, but I can’t find my voice. My face is hot and I’m sure it’s beet-red.

  The issue is I liked the flirty exchanges, brief as they were. I don’t want to know if they meant nothing to him. I want to keep them stored away in the back of my mind and save them for a rainy day when I’m depressed or when Dan is being a royal piece of shit. Finding out the truth—that I’m insignificant—would ruin me.

  A customer comes in, saving me from any further awkward conversation with Aiden. He reverts to customer service mode and helps the person. He can have the sale; I don’t even care.

  I busy myself with the tasks nobody else wants to do, such as refolding the apparel, restocking accessories, and I help out the customers if I must.

  “You’re all buddy-buddy with the new guy now I see.” Nate jerks his head in the general direction where our other coworker is helping a customer.

  I roll my eyes. “He’s not new anymore.”

  “Yeah, but you’re not a dick.”

  I smirk in response. “I can be. I just like you.”

  He smiles wide and I’m worried I overstepped my boundaries with him. He goes to say something else, but I cut him off before he gets a chance.