My Almost
Page 18
My phone vibrates in my back pocket and I wonder if Mr. Tall and Brooding would text me from the stockroom with a real response to this turn of events. However, it’s not my not-so-boyfriend, but it’s Nate telling me he’s home for the weekend and wants to hang out.
I’m in! I need to get drunk.
I’ve never been a person who advocates drinking away her emotions, but I was just dumped and blown off by Aiden in person. One night of drunken shenanigans won’t hurt me, right?
I head home and my parents are shocked to see me. “We weren’t expecting you,” they tell me. I shouldn’t have even come home considering I’m leaving again anyway, and I might not even end up sleeping here tonight. Better not to worry them, but it’s too late now.
I tell them I’m transferring back to Blackshire and when they ask me why I let loose. “Because I hate that school and I want to distance myself as much as possible. I don’t even want to go back there to finish the year! I need out. It’s a suck-pool of over-privileged bitches and dorky guys and I’m done. The classes are terrible and I’m not learning anything. I don’t have any friends there, my roommates are a fucking nightmare—why do you think I’m home every weekend?”
They’re shocked silent, and a little angry. My dad’s ears turn red and my mom’s jaw is slack. “You’re going back to school to finish out the year at least. Then we’ll research different colleges. I won’t have you dropping out.”
“Honey, we’ll consider other schools, but you can’t drop out.”
They’re both right, but my pride is pissed. I’ve had the worst possible twenty-four hours and I’m looking for a fight since Aiden won’t give me one. Sorry, ‘rents, but you guys are collateral damage.
“Whatever, I’m outta here.” It would be a more effective exit line if I didn’t have to run to my room to change and grab my swimsuit.
“Hey, sis.” Noelle peeks her head out of her room, probably because she hears me slamming my drawers and stomping around in my room.
“Hey.” I offer a tight smile. I wish we were sisters who told each other everything and gave one another boy advice. I could use enlightenment on the Aiden situation. But we’re not, so I keep my mouth closed.
“I saw your boy at the club last night.” I freeze but my heart doesn’t get the memo. Instead it picks up, double speed, thumping with a painful rhythm in my chest.
He was at a fucking club, so I’m sure he was dancing with a bunch of girls and now my sister of all people is breaking the news to me. Please, kick me while I’m down, why don’t you? “Oh?” It’s all I can manage without cracking the mask I’ve plastered on my face.
“Yeah, at Train Station Tavern. He was sitting at the bar with a bunch of his friends. He was wearing this purple polo shirt, and it stuck out.” The bar was built into an old train station and the people couldn’t come up with a more creative name.
I stare at her, begging for more details while also praying that’s all there is to the story. She shrugs and I might be in luck. I don’t need to know who he was with and how many scantily dressed girls were around. But that explains why he was so hammered and a total dick last night.
“There weren’t any girls with him.” With that she retreats into her room. I allow a small smile to form on my lips before throwing myself back into action.
I run out of the house and text Nate I’m on my way because he won’t care if I show up a little early.
There’s one stop I have to make first, though. I still haven’t gotten my period and I can’t push it aside anymore. On my way to Nate’s I stop at Walmart and pick up a pregnancy test.
I cannot take this to my best guy friend’s house because he sometimes gossips like a school girl and this would be too juicy not to share. Plus, it’s none of his business. The lone person who will need to know is Aiden, and I’m praying it doesn’t come to that.
This might be the lowest moment of my life but I don’t have any other choice. I take the test in Walmart’s bathroom, hiding in the large stall. I read the directions, pee on the stick, and wait the excruciatingly long three minutes.
There aren’t any words to describe my emotions in this moment. My phone timer is ticking away at a snail’s pace and in contrast my heart is ready to hammer out of my chest. I’ve never been this nervous in my life.
I’m thankful no one else comes into the bathroom because they would’ve seen me pacing around this stall.
I’m sweating and shaking and it’s getting worse at the seconds tick by. After an eternity, my alarm chimes and time stops altogether.
I feet are weighed down by lead and I’m unable to take another step. I brace myself, taking a deep breath, but it does nothing to calm my nerves or slow my heart. It’s now or never.
I flip over the test in my hand and breathe out a sigh of relief. It’s negative. Thank God.
I dispose of the stick and walk out of the bathroom with my head held high. At least now I can go drink with my friend and not have to worry about the consequences.
My best guy friend tells me to come on in when I get to his house. His mom hugs me, her warm smile helping to lift my spirits, and Nate offers his own version of a heartfelt welcome.
“Damn, girl, you look like shit.” One of my best friends, ladies and gentlemen.
His mom smacks him over the head. I love this woman. “I’m making margaritas, would you like one?”
“Yes, please. Thanks, Mrs. S.” She pours me a cold glass right out of the fridge. Vodka is my drink of choice, but I won’t say no to free booze.
I’m glad to see his girlfriend, Donna, isn’t here tonight because she’s stuck up at school. There’s something about her, but I can’t pinpoint what it is. Whatever, the fewer interactions I have with her the better.
“Talk to me, Chels. What’s got you so worked up you’re drinking? Is it Reid?” I’m not in the mood for his joking tonight.
I shake my head. I can’t tell him. I promised…but I’m also not with him anymore. Aiden dumped me. Does that mean I’m free to talk about it? It’s not like I signed a fucking NDA. I was keeping things quiet for us, so we had a fighting chance. But we’re over…
Fuck it. I raise my chin and stare into his eyes. “It’s Aiden.”
24
Thanks to You
For a few beautiful minutes it’s silent. Nate’s expression is dumbfounded as he takes his time processing this information. The moment is brief before he erupts.
He pushes off the couch and starts to pace around the room. I think I can see steam coming from his ears. “What? Him? What the fuck are you doing with him, Chels? Are you fucking him?” I don’t understand why he’s so mad aside from hating my now-ex-whatever. “He’s a dick, why would you let him touch you?”
“I love him.” I belt, my voice stronger than ever. That shuts him up, and I didn’t even think that was possible. I’m angry at Nate for talking down on Aiden even though I’m not surprised because they despise one another. And yet red-hot fury courses through my veins.
I glare at him, my chin raised in defiance, begging him to take me on. I’m still looking for a fight and I’m willing to take it out on my best friend.
“Since when?” His voice is softer, less judgmental. It’s not like he has any room to judge with the troll he’s dating. Okay, that’s not fair. She’s nice I’m just in a pissy mood.
“It started in June.”
“ALL SUMMER? And you didn’t tell me?” He’s yelling again and I’m about to duct-tape his mouth shut.
“I couldn’t. We couldn’t tell anyone. And then he got promoted.” I’m not making full sentences and the words I am producing don’t even make sense or tell the full story.
“You can do better than him.” I can’t, though. I give him a nasty glower and he shuts his mouth. Once again, I’ve rendered him speechless. What a time to be alive. “Wow, you and Aiden. I never would’ve guessed.”
I want to ask him why not? But I refrain. I’m not in the mood to bash the love of my life whe
n I’m still trying to win him back.
“You can’t tell anyone. Promise me.”
“Why not? I want him to know that I know, and I have this over him now.” His leer makes me sick and I think I’ve made a horrible mistake.
“Nate, I’m serious. Please, you can’t. My life is on the line here too.” Life is a little dramatic, but my job is in jeopardy. I also don’t want Aiden to find out I spilled the beans to Nate of all people.
“Fine, but I’m only doing this for you. I’d love to see him rot.” I smack his arm and glare at him with as much intimidation as I can muster. I have resting bitch face on a good day, meaning I’m sure to like hell on a stick right now.
I fill him in on some of the safer details of our relationship and he keeps his commentary kind, which is shocking. He’s supporting me, and he offers to hook me up with his friend, Ian, but I am adamant as I decline.
As it turns out, I hate tequila. I take a few sips of my drink, but when Nate’s buddies show up, I’m ready to bail.
Nate’s wasted and stumbles out of the door as he walks me out. “Thanks for coming, Chels.” He goes in for his normal hug, but it’s different this time. He holds me tight and doesn’t let me go.
As I pull away, he plants a kiss right on my lips. Do I blame it on the fact he’s wasted out of his mind?
What. The. Fuck? I push him away. “Nate, you have a girlfriend and I have…had…Aiden. Whatever. I’m not into you like that.”
I run to my car, wiping the remnants of his sloppy, drunken kiss off my lips. Gross.
It’s already late and I’ve forced myself to forget about my friend’s kiss as I drive home.
I’m on the verge of tears listening to the artists on the radio sing about love.
I’m a masochist and put on Taylor Swift’s Red album to kick myself while I’m down, sobbing the entire way home. When I cross the threshold, my golden retriever greets me with sad eyes and a wagging tail. For a moment, everything is okay.
Who needs men when we have dogs?
I need to figure out what to do about Nate, but he’s the last person on my mind as I crawl into bed. I’m thinking of Aiden as the tears glide down my cheeks. I roll over to cuddle my pup, praying I’ll be able to forget about Aiden too.
∞ ∞ ∞
Weekends always fly by and I’m already finding myself back in the hell-hole I call my dorm room. When Monday night rolls around, I’m nervous. I don’t want to tell Sadie about the transfer, but I have to. I don’t want her to get the wrong…well, the right idea about why I’m returning to Blackshire.
“Um, Sadie, can I talk to you about something?” My body is hot with nerves and it’s taking all of my strength to not pick at my nails right now. Instead, I tug on my hair, braiding it in chunks, only to un-twine and re-do it.
“Sure, what’s up? More drama with the boy?” She rolls her eyes, her mouth pulling up into a grin. I hate that I’m doing this.
“No, I, um, wanted to tell you, um—”
“What is it? Just spit it out already. You’re freaking me out.” A nervous chuckle escapes her lips. I tug on my shirt wishing it would swallow me whole.
“I’m transferring back,” I hesitate, though she knows what I mean. “to Blackshire.”
“Damn,” she blows out a whistle, “I should’ve seen this coming.” She shakes her head laughing. At least she’s not upset.
“I’m sorry.” I’m small as a mouse and my voice corresponds, coming out squeaky.
“Don’t be sorry. I get it. You’ve been one step out the door since you started here. But we’re gonna have to make the most of these last couple of weeks while we can.” A devilish smirk comes over her lips and I’m certain she and I will remain friends despite this move.
On Wednesday I get a text from her I never in a million years would’ve expected.
Friday night we’re having a going away party. I’m making a shoe shaped jello shot. We can stay at my place and no you don’t have a choice.
God, I love my friends. I might have to reconsider this transfer.
∞ ∞ ∞
“Oh my God, you have to see this jello shot.” Sadie is downright giddy as I walk into work on Friday. She leads me back to the fridge in the stockroom.
“Why’d you bring it to work?” If we’re going back to her house anyway, she could’ve left it in the fridge there instead of lugging it all the way here. She lives in center city Philly and takes a bus to work. It seems like more work than necessary to show me the boozy treat. She could’ve even taken a picture if it was such a huge ordeal.
“Oh, um, a slight change of plans, you see—”
“Wait a minute, are we gonna get drunk at work?” I lower my voice and excitement spreads through me. This is going to rock. I’ve already been high at work once, but it was by myself and I was paranoid as fuck. This’ll be ten times better.
“What? No. Tempting, but no. This is a…dual celebration. I’ll fill you in later. Just a few more hours then we party on.”
She used red jello and a mold to create a shoe-like appearance. I’m impressed. I don’t know how she did it but it’s hilarious. She ripped apart some black Twizzlers to create “laces” for the treat. It’s a masterpiece.
“Cool, right? It’s some of my best work. I used an entire bottle of vodka too so it should be good.” She high fives me and heads back out onto the sales floor. She and I are the only ones working tonight, meaning the cleanup will be fast and we can head out.
I can’t stop thinking about the ridiculous shoe-shaped treat in the fridge and I’m tempted to sneak some. She catches me dipping my finger into the mixture and in turn makes me mop the floor. Enough said.
We rush through closing, sprint to the bank, and I lead her to my car. She climbs in, resting the jello shot on her lap, and we head out.
“So, where am I headed?” I’ve never been to her place before and since I’m shit with directions I bank on her to give me the step-by-step. “You said this was a dual celebration?”
“Yeah, it’s a surprise.” She tells me where to go when I should’ve let her drive. She tells me to turn into an apartment complex and park the car, though we’re still in the outskirts of the town of Queen Silvercliff, over thirty minutes from center city.
“Oh, did you move?” I’m surprised she didn’t tell me.
“Not exactly. When I said it’s a dual celebration, I meant it. It’s a going away party for you, but it’s also a party for Adam. He completed his manager training, and he wanted to celebrate. I thought this was a better idea than going out.” Hopping out of the car, she almost drops the jello shot and I would’ve decked her. I’ve been looking forward to it all night.
We climb the outdoor stairs to apartment 2A, the first door after the staircase. I knock since she’s holding the fragile adult dessert and we wait.
Moments later, he opens the door and looks from me to Sadie and back again. “Oh, what is, uh…?” He’s rubbing the back of his neck and he’s confused, staring at our boss with furious accusation marring his handsome face.
My face is hot, likely turning beet red. So she lied to us both. He had no idea I was coming and now I’m here and it’s an awkward freaking nightmare. “Did she, uh, drive you?” I slouch over into myself and please, if there’s a God, strike me dead.
“Surprise!” That’s the traitor’s response and Adam gives me a tight-lipped grin. I didn’t think I was that bad of a person, but he looks ill thinking about hanging out with me for a few hours.
“I didn’t know you were coming.” He addresses me and wow, could this get any weirder?
“Neither did I.” We both turn to glare at Sadie and she huffs out, irritated, as if she has any reason to act pissy.
“You didn’t want her to come and you,” she turns to me, “wouldn’t have agreed to it either. We’re all friends here. I made this jello shot masterpiece now let’s dig into it.” She places her creation on his small kitchen counter and we all stand frozen. I’m waiting for him
to make the first move. Will he agree or kick me out?
We may be friends, but it’s clear how uncomfortable he is with the idea of me being here. As a manager, he could get fired for this. It’s a concept I know all too well.
“Fuck it, let’s do this.” He peels back the aluminum foil to display the red jiggly shoe. Now we all stare at each other for a different reason—how the hell are we supposed to eat this thing?
Adam gets us spoons and bowls and we kind of divvy up the creation. It’s a hot mess but, damn, it’s delicious.
We sit on the floor and play King’s Cup and mix jello shots with more vodka and soon we’re all well on our way to being drunk.
“I got…a jack.” I love pulling a jack. Never have I ever is my favorite part of this drinking game. “Okay, never have I ever…” I turn to our host and smirk, “had a work mix tape in my car.”
I fall over laughing and Adam is dumbfounded. It’s hilarious. “What the hell you promised you wouldn’t tell!”
“When were you in his car?” Sadie eyes us, trying to put two and two together when the answer here does not equal four.
“No, no, it wasn’t like that,” I explain, when I catch my breath. “He gave me a ride to my car after work one night and we jammed out to his playlist full of work songs.”
“They’re catchy.” He shrugs and to emphasize his point he takes out his phone, pulling up his playlist to sing and dance along to one of the over-played Kesha songs. Sadie is smart enough to take videos of the whole thing. My abs already hurt from laughing, and I can’t wait to relive tonight over and over again.
I haven’t even thought about Aiden since I got here and the thought could sober me, but I don’t let it. He’s consumed my daily thoughts since the moment he ended things. No, even beforehand—he’s consumed me since the moment we got together. I won’t let him ruin tonight.
It gets late and we calm down though I am drunk as a skunk and I think they are too. I’m in the bathroom when I overhear the two of them talking. “What’re you guys gonna do…”