Lillyans

by Oliver Letz

  Lilly Ann and Taylor had waved good-bye to Louis, the fisherman, and walked back towards the Sudbury main building. Stepping out of the forest onto the open park landscape they immediately were engulfed by the lively afternoon activities on the lawns and flowerbeds.

  “I wonder what the world would look like when every school was as much guided by inspiration as Sudbury,” Taylor mused, “when more people could grow up with the guidance and wisdom that your philosophy provides. I bet things would be a lot different from what they are now.”

  “Maybe,” Lilly Ann replied, “but as you know, the difference is in the asking and in the allowing of answers to flow, not in the teaching of wisdom or philosophy.”

  “You mentioned that before,” Taylor was still skeptical, “but to me this still sounds a bit like an easy way out. I’m not sure I would have asked any questions if I hadn’t seen your way of life right in front of my nose. In that regard reality was very convincing to me.”

  “You are selling yourself short, John Taylor,” Lilly Ann suggested, “from what I have heard you say, you have had these questions simmer in your mind for a very long time, maybe all the way back to your childhood. Also, your friends saw the same things around here that you did. None of them raised any questions or was willing to get to the core of what we are all about. They didn’t ask so they could not see. You asked and now you see.”

  “That’s one way to look at it,” Taylor conceded still not entirely convinced.

  For the next few weeks Taylor concentrated on getting his body back in shape and regaining the freedom to move about without assistance. Lilly Ann had offered him to stay in her guest room as long as he liked and so his days were filled with physical exercise, breakfasts shared at the kitchen table, lunches and dinners at various eateries around town and the occasional invitation into private homes of Lilly Ann’s friends.

  He had asked Edie May if he could borrow transcripts from the Lilly-Book which he studied for hours at a time. Lilly Ann started to be concerned that his brain would catch fire if he kept devouring all that heavy intellectual stuff at the rate he was going. She was certain that this could not be healthy for anybody. Occasionally he would ask Lilly Ann to drive him to Sudbury for another session at the Lilly-Book to find clarification on subjects, which perplexed him more than usual.

  Taylor slept a lot and enjoyed hot baths in the bath shed next to Lilly Ann’s gingerbread house. He got more accustomed to the way of life in Flugerton and so the stark contrast to his own past did not feel as disorienting to him as it had before. Still, the more he read and intellectually understood of the philosophical foundation the town was built on, the more restless he became. He felt a growing responsibility to the people he had left behind. ‘If they only knew what he knew,’ was a thought that he could not get out of his mind.

  On his frequent walks around town Taylor could not help but be amazed by the open and genuinely positive way people would greet him into their lives. Not a day passed by that he did not receive a spontaneous invitation for an afternoon cup of tea or a refreshing glass of buttermilk or lemonade. Sure, almost everyone in town had heard of the man who fell from the sky and children kept yelling, “Geronimo!” whenever they spotted him in the streets, but it was not the hunger for sensational stories or the prestige of having the infamous flying man as guest, that he sensed. It was the simple pleasure to sit with the new guy in town and exchange a few stories, a few laughs or ideas that made people open their homes and hearts to him. He learned as much from the stories he heard on these occasions as he did studying the Lilly-Book papers.

  “I had the most enlightening conversation today,” Taylor announced, coming home from one of his afternoon walks, “with a four year old girl,” he added with emphasis.

  “Yeah, what she say?” Lilly Ann asked.

  “She was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk, so I asked her what she was drawing,” Taylor reported, “she said, ‘Abramster.’ and looked at me as if there was something wrong with me for not noticing right away. Then she said, ‘Your turn.’ I didn’t think I had much choice in the matter so I picked up a piece of chalk and before I could touch it to the ground she had grabbed my hand and carefully dragged it back and forth over the stones until, I’m not kidding you, a beautiful Abrahamster cartoon was finished before me. She jumped up, said, ‘See?’, kissed me on the cheek and skipped down the road giggling. It was most surreal, heartwarming, enlightening, inspiring, I don’t know what else to say.”

  “Neat,” Lilly Ann said with a big smile, “did you ask her?”

  “Ask her what?” Taylor replied.

  “If you should go back home to teach your people about Law of Attraction,” Lilly Ann dropped the bomb on him, “this is why you have been devouring all these transcripts like there is no tomorrow, isn’t it?”

  She looked him straight in the eyes without a hint of concern.

  “That would be a motivation to learn as much as I can,” Taylor agreed, “but why would I ask a little girl on the street which way I should decide?”

  “What was the girl’s name?” Lilly Ann asked back.

  “She said her name was Lilly,” Taylor was curious where this would lead, “I was surprised too when I heard that name again.”

  “That should not surprise you,” Lilly Ann laughed, “every child in town is called Lilly at an early age.”

  “Really, how come?” Taylor inquired.

  “Well, right after Edie came here with the Lilly-Book and it became more and more clear that Lilly Fluger’s Abrahamster would be the mayor of the town, so to speak, people started to name their newborn girls Lilly more frequently. In time Lilly became not just a name but also a synonym of a girl born in Flugerton. Since most of the first settlers had their own way of looking at every day things a few started to name their boys Lilly too. So, today every child is called Lilly until they decide for a new name on their own. The word Lilly and small child or baby is almost interchangeable here.”

  “That explains a lot,” Taylor had a hard time keeping his eye from popping out, “but how do you distinguish between them when you call a child?”

  “You don’t call them by their name, you call them by their vibration,” Lilly Ann explained the for her obvious, “that is very distinct.”

  “Wow,” was all Taylor could utter for a few moments. Maybe this society was even more complex and different than he had imagined.

  “How … when … I mean,” he stuttered trying to get the concept aligned with his brain.

  “It’s not that complicated,” Lilly Ann played down the for Taylor unthinkable, “every Lilly is an individual on a vibrational basis. They are still very much in touch with their inner reality and so they act much more from their inner truth than from outer circumstances. They also react to your inner vibration much more than to whatever you might say to them.”

  “That I see,” Taylor laughed, “the girl this afternoon positively knew that I had no idea how to draw a hamster. I still don’t get why I would ask her about an important life decision.”

  “It’s what we all do,” Lilly Ann had a neck of making the most incredulous statements sound self-evident.

  “Do what?” Taylor insisted.

  “Whenever any of us in their private lives or in a public matter has a question that they can’t get clarity over, ‘Do I go left or right?’, ‘Do I tear down my house and build a new one or not?’, ‘Do we build a new street or leave the old one alone?’, simple things, you know, boil it down on your own to ‘This or that?’ and then find any Lilly and ask her. Because they have no interest in the matter at all, nor have any desire to understand the complexity of adult life, they read your inner most vibration and without any hesitation will pick one of the choices you presented to them. Then you go do that. Simple, isn’t it?”

  “You are leading me on, right?” Taylor didn’t know what to believe.

  “No, why would I, you’ll see soon enough,” Lilly Ann shrugged.

  �
��So, what if I realize that I don’t want to go with the choice that Lilly made?” Taylor felt very smart because he thought he had uncovered a flaw in the system.

  “Hallelujah!” Lilly Ann clapped her hands and laughed, “You just found out what you really want. So you choose that, no harm done. They won’t hold it against you.”

  Taylor didn’t know if this was too complicated or too simple for him to accept, but he had found one more weak spot in the matter.

  “At what age would you stop asking a child for advice?” he asked.

  “That depends,” Lilly Ann did not miss a beat, “kids are all different. The only thing that matters is, that they answer without hesitation and without actively thinking about the issue at hand. Once a Lilly answers something like ‘Let me think about this.’ or ‘What do you mean?’ then they know on their own that it is time to choose a new name. Many of them will tell you flat out ‘Go ask Lilly, I am Lilly Ann” or whatever their chosen name might be. That’s what I did, I think I was about three and a half years old.”

  “Are you telling me that if I would ask a group of children the same question they would all answer the same?” This was a tough pill to swallow for Taylor.

  “Yep,” Lilly Ann enjoyed this immensely, “although there is a very high probability that only one of them would answer you and the others would ignore you and go about their own business. It is amazing, I’ll give you that, but when you remember where they had come from just a short while ago, pure positive energy, that they might have that direct connection to our vibrational nature for a while longer makes some kind of sense, doesn’t it?” She looked lovingly at Taylor, happy and proud that he would work so hard trying to understand the unexplainable.

  “Our town, all you see around you is built on decisions made by children younger than five years of age, that’s why we do not have any form of government. For anything complicated or far reaching we just ask Lilly.”

  “Do all children have this ability?” Taylor asked.

  “Yes,” Lilly Ann confirmed, “all Lillys are the same in their connection to our nonphysical nature. Only their growing focus in the physical world and the abstract contemplation of ideas and circumstances puts distance between them and the inner world. The very nature and reason of human existence ends their ability to read vibration directly.”

  “Have you asked Lilly yet?” was a question Taylor would start to hear several times every day. Not from Lilly Ann, she never pressured him into anything he didn’t seem to be ready for, but from strangers or acquaintances he met on the street. The whole town seemed to have developed an interest in the progress he was making with his studies and his plans for the future. It was a rare occurrence that someone would waltz into town and try to pick up their whole philosophy and way of life from scratch. The last one some of the elders remembered was Lilly Ann’s grandfather Fritz who at first didn’t show any interest other than for a certain young female who was the reason he came back to Flugerton to begin with.

  “Hi John, have you asked Lilly yet?” became the standard greeting that Taylor was welcomed with around town. It wasn’t ill spirited and the innocent curiosity lead to many interesting discussions and pleasurable chitchat.

  “Not yet, you think it’s time to ask?” Taylor replied on many occasions.

  “That’s only for you to know,” the answer was always the same, “or you could ask Lilly.” Now there was a closed loop if there ever was one.

  One day Taylor was resting his legs sitting down on one of the many bench-sculptures that lined the streets as a young couple that strolled by holding hands recognized him from across the street. Taylor had seen them on several occasions but had never talked to them before. The young man waved and yelled, “Geronimo! Have you asked Lilly yet?”

  His girlfriend giggled and slapped him over the head.

  “Behave yourself Michael,” she scolded still laughing, “or I will finish our walk on the other side of the street.”

  She started to cross the street with Michael in tow.

  “Don’t mind this bigmouth, sir,” she addressed Taylor, “he has been following me around all day. I can’t seem to get rid of him. Any idea what I should do?” She stuck out her hand to shake Taylor’s, “I am René, pleased to meet you Mr. Taylor.”

  Taylor was delighted by the fresh and entertaining spectacle those two provided for him.

  “The pleasure is all mine, René and Michael,” he shook both of their hands, “about your dilemma with being followed, René, I would say your best bet would be to just ask Lilly.”

  All three burst out into laughter.

  “Tell me,” Taylor seized the opportunity, “it seems my own quest has been given newsworthy status around town. What’s the story that people are telling?”

  René and Michael looked at each other not quite sure how to take the invitation to gossip.

  “You know, there is not much news in town usually,” René started, “so, when you and your friends first showed up with your unusual request it was a welcome diversion. You coming back in such a spectacular fashion sparked all kinds of discussions and contemplations. Most of us hadn’t paid much attention before, to the idea of living without knowing what we know.” She quickly lost her trepidation to talk candidly. “When you started to show up at the Lilly-Book more frequently people were wondering how it would be to have to reinvent ones entire believe system. I for one find it hard to even imagine. Everyone is rooting for you, that much is certain, though.”

  “In a way you are a big hero to me and the guys,” Michael blurted out, “You put a lot on the line to improve life for yourself and for others and now you want to do it all over by maybe going back to your home town to spread the word about LOA. That takes some guts and confidence in your own vibes.”

  ‘It is amazing,’ Taylor thought to himself, ‘how similar the language and demeanor of kids in Flugerton were to those in Central Camps and how far apart they were, well, vibrationally.’

  “Michael, would you do me a favor,” Taylor spoke to the young man.

  “Sure, anything,” Michael said without hesitation.

  “Don’t think of me as a hero,” Taylor requested, “all the heroes I’ve known are long dead and I can tell you, I’m not one of them. I do all of this mainly for my own benefit.”

  “Yeah, but that’s what it is all about, isn’t it,” Michael disagreed, “find your own selfish desire and to go for it, especially if you don’t know beforehand all the hows and whys. That’s as heroic as it gets,” he said passionately, “around here at least.”

  “I don’t understand,” Taylor said, “in my book heroes are supposed to be role models of selfless service to others.”

  “No!” both kids exclaimed at once, laughing about the fact that they agreed on something for a change.

  “No,” René repeated, “if you think you do something for someone else you are just delegating the responsibility for your own happiness. It’s like, I do something for you, and then you must be happy, for me to be happy. What if that other person has a totally different idea of what would make them happy? Then you both lose out. Really, you can never know what would make another person happy, you just can’t read their vibes. There is only one person in the whole universe that you can make happy, that is you. Do whatever makes you happy, then you have something to give to another,” she laid out the simple truth for Taylor, “sorry, I didn’t mean to lecture you,” she added a bit embarrassed.

  “No need to apologize,” Taylor said, “no, really, thank you. This was most enlightening. And by the way, I am sure you’ll do just fine handling our hotheaded friend here,” he nodded towards Michael with a wink.

  “How many miracles does it take to make a saint?” Lilly Ann asked Taylor later during their occasional pre dinner drink on Lilly Ann’s back porch.

  “Three, I guess,” Taylor remembered from his theological classes in school.

  “How many saints does it take to found a church?�
�� Lilly Ann continued to ask.

  “I don’t know, maybe ten or twenty? Does this exercise have any practical merit?” Taylor wanted to know.

  “Well, I got to thinking while I was drawing earlier,” Lilly Ann’s eyes were twinkling in the late afternoon sun, “You are just one man to carry the church of Abrahamster into the world, so to speak. Three miracles to a saint and twenty saints to found a church, have you experienced fifty or sixty incidents yet that felt like a miracle to you?”

  Taylor was a bit dumbfounded by that train of thought for a moment. A church? A saint? He didn’t want anything to do with either one.

  “What are you talking about?” He shook his head, and with much conviction he added, “Church is boring and saints are dead.”

  Lilly Ann was royally amused by his strong willed outburst.

  “All I am saying is, that you might want to experience firsthand the fullness of your inner path a bit more in depth before you go out and preach it to someone else,” she said.

  “Got it,” Taylor conceded, “that’s why I am studying all the time. This whole Abrahamster-Vibe-Attraction thing is so simple yet so mighty complex. Sometimes I think I’ll never really get it.”

  “I know,” she replied lightly, “but what’s the rush?”

  Both of them nodded, sipped their martini cocktails and enjoyed the sound of critters getting warmed up for their nightly concert.

  “You know,” Taylor broke the silence. “I have no intention to found a church.”

  “I know,” was Lilly Ann’s lazy reply.

  “Me, founding a church,” Taylor scuffed, he just could not let the thought go, “no way.”

  “I know,” Lilly Ann repeated, “yet, even though it might not be your intention, if you happen to get through to a bunch of people, many of them will see it that way. They will make you their saint and call your house their church. There’s not much you can do about that. If you preach to those who didn’t ask, they will not want to know. They will say, ‘He is the only one who knows.’ and they will praise you and worship you and then nail you to a cross. It has happened before, you know?”

  “You sound a lot like Abraham, when you get all serious,” Taylor wanted to get off the subject.

  “There is a lot of Abraham in everything that Abrahamster says too,” Lilly Ann replied, “It’s hard to speak the inner truth and not sound like Abraham, sort of,” she concluded.

  “So you think I should stay here and learn more hands-on what the spiritual path is all about before I try to teach it to others?” Taylor probed.

  “I can’t know that, John,” Lilly Ann said softly, “it is your path and your intentions and your desires that you must follow. I just speak out loud what Abrahamster whispers into my ear.”

  “I knew you would say that,” Taylor laughed.

  “I knew that you know,” Lilly Ann replied.

  A few days later at breakfast Taylor knew that Edie May would join them even before he had heard her signature knock at the door. It was not so much that he was in tune with her vibration enough to sense her intentions but Lilly Ann only brewed herbal tea in the morning when she expected Edie May’s visit.

  “John, have you asked Lilly yet?” Edie May greeted him and laughed when she saw him roll his eyes.

  “You people have a fascination with having fun at someone else’s expense, don’t you,” he complained jokingly.

  “Oh no,” Edie May defended herself, “you are the only one who brings that out in us, and we appreciate you for it,” she laughed.

  “So happy to be of service,” he continued the joke.

  “No, seriously,” Edie May’s tone of voice changed, “your quest even inspired a new children’s game. ‘Have you asked Lilly yet?’ is a phrase that gives us an opportunity to reacquaint ourselves with the true meaning behind that tradition. You know, sometimes an inspired idea can become a habit and then a tradition and then just a hollow ritual if we don’t remember where it came from and why it was a good thing in the first place. You have no idea how much we really appreciate this.”

  “Neat,” Lilly Ann interrupted, “I have to come to Sudbury some time to play it with the kids. Sounds like a lot of fun.”

  Taylor didn’t know if he should be proud of himself or embarrassed, so he decided to, once again, be genuinely surprised for the time being.

  “You know what bothers me about that whole ‘Just ask Lilly’ idea?” Taylor thought this was as good a time as any to get closer to making up his mind, “It feels to me as if I would ask permission for something I want to do, so I would not have to take responsibility for the outcome.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” Lilly Ann shrugged.

  “Well, I always take responsibility for my actions,” Taylor insisted, “If I screw up, I’ll fix it. Isn’t that normal?”

  “Normal is a dangerous word, John,” Edie May cautioned, “We actually believe that it is all but impossible for any of us to really screw up, to use your terminology. We believe that life is eternal, so you cannot ever be done trying out something new or ingesting new ideas. With that in mind, you also cannot get it wrong, ever. If you find out that the path of your choice does not lead to the desired outcome you have provided an extremely valuable personal conclusion from a new vantage point that would not have been possible without your supposed error. So, you choose again. End of one story, beginning of the next one.”

  “Isn’t that the end of personal accountability?” Taylor wondered.

  “It is the end of guilt and fear,” Edie May stated simply, “and neither guilt nor fear were ever great advisors for mankind.”

  Again there was an idea put in front of Taylor that he had heard of before, but would have never expected to be that relevant in a very private matter for him. He shuddered at the thought of how much time it might take for him to fully live what he had just begun to understand intellectually.

  “What is your question for Lilly really?” Edie May was curious, “Have you even thought about it yet?”

  “The question I am asking myself,” Taylor stressed, “and which I might ask Lilly is, do I live up to the responsibility that I feel for the people that are dear to my heart in South Central or do I follow my instinct that tells me to stay here and learn everything that I can for myself. I still have a very painful memory of what happened last time when I tried to leave against my personal desire. I am also fully aware of the fact that I am a bloody novice in the vibration energy work and that my attempt to show others might be more confusing than helpful. Still, it might take me years of studies and living amongst your people for me to fully understand Law of Attraction and its application in every day life. What am I going to do in the meantime? I would have to earn my keep somehow. I can’t very well stay here and abuse Lilly Ann’s hospitality.”

  “So, the question is ‘Do I stay or do I go?’, right?” Lilly Ann seized the opportunity when Taylor had to take a breath.

  “I guess it boils down to that,” Taylor confirmed.

  “Good,” said Edie May and directed her attention to the steaming cup of tea in front of her.

  “Hi Lilly,” Taylor greeted the little boy who was sitting on the stairs in front of his home, concentrated on the coloring book in his lap.

  “I am Randy,” the boy answered, “Lilly is in the house. Are you Geronimo?” He jumped up and yelled, “Lilly, come on out, Mr. Geronimo is here!”

  Taylor had a hard time not laughing out loud.

  “Thank you Randy,” he said, “you are very helpful.”

  “Don’t mention it,” the boy replied.

  A little girl in a flowery summer dress peeked from behind the half opened door. Her big dark green eyes were calmly fixed on Taylor. She cautiously stepped down the wooden stairs with her bare feet.

  “Geronimo?” she said with a voice that could have melted a glacier. She smiled at him and held the stuffed bear she was clutching towards Taylor. “His name is Geronimo too,” she announced.


  “Yeah, right,” her brother rolled his eyes and retreated into the house.

  Taylor’s heart was about to jump into his throat. He didn’t know how to find the right words in the face of such innocence. Lilly stood there patiently waiting for him to make up his mind. She looked at him, her head cocked, holding her bear and curling a strand of her auburn hair with the other hand.

  ‘It doesn’t get any better than that,’ Taylor said to himself.

  Determined to forever keep this moment in his memory he took a deep breath.

  “May I ask you a question, Lilly,” he eased himself into uncharted waters.

  “Yes,” Lilly’s reply was like a secretive whisper.

  “Shall I go home to tell people about Law of Attraction and everything else I have learned here?” he asked in the simplest way he could think of.

  The girl did not hesitate for a second.

  “Nah,” she squealed shaking her head that her hair flew all around her head. She laughed an intoxicating laugh, skipped down the stairs and grabbed Taylor’s hand.

  “Wanna play ‘Chinchilla’?” she asked pulling him towards the back yard.

  “I don’t know what this is,” Taylor admitted, “but I am sure you can teach me.” With a sigh of relief he added, “Thank you, Lilly.”

  “So, you’ll stick around for a while longer?” Lilly Ann greeted Taylor as he opened the door.

  “It seems so,” he smiled, “news travels fast around here, doesn’t it?”

  “Good news does,” Lilly Ann smiled back at him.

  “What about other news?” Taylor asked.

  “There isn’t any.” It was as simple as that. Period.

  Chapter 13: John Kisses Good