Will the Real Abi Sanders Please Stand Up?

by Sara Hantz

  “Yo, Tilly. Good job,” Nathan says, as he walks past.

  Nathan has never said anything about my work before. He’s Tilly’s leading man and so nice. And gay, much to Liv’s disappointment. I’d never heard of him, but she remembers him from some obscure children’s TV show on cable about ten years ago.

  “Thanks…but it’s Abi,” I mutter, more to myself than anyone else as Nathan is way out of earshot.

  “Abi. Or should I say Tilly? You were smoking.” Vince rests his arm across my shoulder and grins. “I wonder what Tilly will say when she sees your performance on screen.”

  “Something nice I hope, seeing as she helped me,” I say.

  “Wonder no more. I was watching.” The sound of Tilly’s voice from behind makes me jump.

  I spin on my heel until I’m facing her. “H-h-h-hi, T-T-Tilly.” I inwardly squirm under her scrutiny. And a flush creeps slowly up my face. Typical. Would it really hurt if just once I could play it cool?

  A smirk crosses her face. Yeah, well, stuttering might be funny to Tilly, but it’s not to me.

  “Just don’t get any ideas,” she says, a teasing grin on her face. Although, am I the only one who notices how her normally big brown eyes have narrowed to tiny slits? Or that there’s a definite smell of whiskey on her breath that wasn’t there earlier? “There’s only one Tilly Watson. Got it?” I nod. She turns, takes a couple of steps then glances back at me from over her shoulder. “You did well. Eventually.”

  Excuse me. Either I’m dreaming, or Tilly just complimented me on my stunt work. “I don’t believe it,” I say to no one in particular.

  “Believe it,” says Vince. “You’ve just been Tilly’d. She knocks you down, then gives you a pat on the back to show you no hard feelings. Because whatever she says, she wants you to love her. She needs you to love her. To idolize her, even, like all her fans.”

  Yeah, well she’s not going the right way about it. At least, not with me.

  “Why?” I frown.

  “Insecurity,” Vince replies.

  “And on what planet does someone like Tilly feel insecure around someone like me?”

  “You’re good at what you do, and she sees you as a threat,” he says, shrugging.

  Me a threat. That’s a joke. The only time I’m a threat to anyone is when I’m on the mat kickboxing.

  “I’m not a threat. It’s the other way round. If I upset Tilly, then she could get me kicked out. Zac’s hardly going to choose me over her, is he?”

  “Abi,” Vince says in an exaggerated impression of Zac’s I’m-trying-to-be-patient voice. “Who’s running the show?”

  “Zac.”

  “And does Zac strike you as someone who can be easily manipulated?”

  “Okay, okay. I get it. But, it’s easy for you to say.”

  “Just go with the flow,” Vince says. “She’s under contract, too. And her life isn’t as perfect as people think. She’s under a lot of pressure.”

  “Really? I would have said her life was pretty near perfect. Doing a job most girls would kill for. Fame. Money. Can do anything she wants. How bad can that be?”

  “Don’t get sucked in by the myth of Hollywood glitz and glamour. I’m not saying that she doesn’t enjoy being a star. Just that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Why do you think she has a problem with alcohol?” Vince shakes his head.

  “I guess. But it’s hard to cut her some slack when she has so much attitude.” Which makes me sound like a petty child.

  “I’m not asking you to,” Vince says. “All I’m saying is try and remember that she doesn’t have it easy a lot of the time.”

  Chapter Seven

  “I want ten jumping jacks and then run in place until I tell you to stop,” I say to a group of juniors who are standing in front of me, eagerly waiting to start.

  When Bill called, asking if I could train the juniors for him since he’d been let down by one of the other trainers, I said yes right away. As much as I love working on the movie, the thought of coming back to the dojo excited me, particularly since I would see some friendly faces and be able to tell them what I’ve been doing. Except, when I went to see Bill, all he did was wave and continue shuffling papers on his desk. You’d think he’d show a little more interest seeing as he was the one to start the whole thing.

  While the juniors are warming up, I scan the dojo and out the corner of my eye notice Matt walking around the edge. My heart does a quick flip. He looks as gorgeous as ever. He doesn’t see me immediately, but when he does, his face lights up. I beckon for him to come over, and he heads in my direction.

  “Hey,” he says when he reaches me. “You didn’t say you’d be here today.” He gives me a hug and ruffles my hair.

  “I wanted to surprise you,” I say, pulling away from him and smoothing down my hair. He knows the trouble I have with my hair because it’s so fine and thinks it’s funny to mess with it. I pretend it bothers me more than it does. “Bill’s asked me to help out with the juniors. I thought we could go out for lunch after. My treat. Unless you have other plans.” I arch an eyebrow, knowing full well that if I’m offering lunch, there’s no way he’ll refuse.

  “I’ve got to go to the store for groceries for Mom, but that can wait until later. Especially if you’re paying, I’m not missing out on that.” He ducks out of the way of my pretend swipe around his head. “Actually, if I give you Mom’s list, you could go for me since my class ends after yours. Then we won’t have to rush lunch,” Matt says, shooting me a lopsided grin that’s guaranteed to get me to agree. He sure knows how to play me—all girls, actually. Not that I mind. It’s just how it is.

  “Okay, I guess. But you owe me one,” I say. Actually, he owes me more than one, the number of times I’ve done his chores for him.

  “You got it,” he says, winking.

  “Cool. See you later.”

  “By the way, if you don’t want Bill on your back, then you need to get your class in line,” he says, pointing behind me.

  I turn and notice a couple of the juniors pushing each other. Typical. Can’t they even behave for one minute? And now I look bad.

  “Well, he should be grateful that I could help him out, considering how busy I am.”

  “Listen to Miss Fancy-Pants Movie Star.” Matt looks toward the ceiling and shakes his head.

  “Shut up. You know I’m not like that. But there’s no harm in a bit of appreciation, is there?” On set, the stunt coordinators are always saying how well I’m doing. Well, maybe not always, but a lot. And here? Well, there’s certainly no fear of compliment overload, that’s for sure.

  “Of course not. You know we really, really, really appreciate you,” Matt teases.

  “Go away,” I say giving him a gentle push. “I’ll see you after class.”

  I jog back to the juniors. “Okay, listen up. In pairs I want to see one of you kick and the other block. Do that ten times and then swap over. Anyone misbehaving has Bill to answer to.”

  …

  After the juniors finish, I go to the locker room to shower. I pull on my street clothes and, instead of doing Matt’s grocery shopping, decide to go and watch the senior class—we can shop later after lunch when there’s more time. Matt won’t mind.

  Leaning against the wall gives me a good view of Matt sparring with one of the other guys. He lands a strong roundhouse kick to the chest, then blocks. Then he does an effective front kick. The other guy is on the defensive, mainly blocking, and doesn’t seem to notice the gap that Matt keeps leaving when using his left arm. I’m the only girl who’s allowed to work with Matt, since I’m the only one so far who’s made it into the advanced ranks like he has. Maybe that’s why I can see the gaps, because we fight so often. He knows all of my weak spots, too.

  Bill calling the end of class distracts me from my thoughts, and I wander to the main entrance to wait for Matt. After ten minutes, I see him walking toward me, his hair damp and clinging to his face.

  “Ready?” he asks.<
br />
  “Yep. Should we go to the Fountain?”

  The Fountain’s our second favorite place to go. It’s close, and they do the most amazing fruit smoothies.

  “Sounds good to me,” Matt says. “I’m so hungry I could eat the entire menu.”

  While we’re walking, he talks non-stop about the latest Grand Theft Auto. He’s a total gamer and is always trying to get me and Liv to play. It’s fun for half an hour, but after that I get bored. I really don’t get how people can pull gaming all-nighters.

  When we get to the café, we sit down and wait for someone to take our order.

  “Don’t you want to know how the movie is going?” I’m feeling a little miffed that he hasn’t even bothered to ask. Especially as I haven’t seen him for a while. You’d think he’d show some interest. It’s not like it’s something people do every day of their lives.

  “I figured you’d tell me eventually. You usually do.” He shrugs.

  What does he mean by that? It’s not like I go on and on about the movie set. At least I don’t think I do. Liv hasn’t mentioned it. She can’t get enough of it. She always wants to know everything that goes on. All we’ve ever known before is what we’ve read in the magazines or online. Now I’m getting everything firsthand. It’s a real eye-opener.

  “Well, I won’t if you’re not interested.” I scowl at him.

  “Now look who’s having a movie star tantrum,” he says arching a brow.

  “I’m not.” I fold my arms tightly across my chest, but can’t stay mad for long. He’s right. I am acting no better than Tilly and her tantrums. “Okay, I’ll tell you, whether you want to hear or not.”

  Chapter Eight

  “Emotion, Tilly. Emotion.” The frustrated look on Zac’s face belies the tolerant tone in his voice.

  He’s definitely losing it with her. Who can blame him? Judging by the state Tilly came in this morning, he’ll get more emotion from the tree she’s leaning against. This is take fifteen, and each one has been as bad as the next. It’s like she’s not trying. It’s written all over her face. Every time Zac calls action, she gives an extremely loud sigh and deliberately screws it up. Why? What the hell does she hope to gain by it?

  I was in make-up when she arrived earlier, at about eight, and I didn’t recognize her right away because she looked so rough. Her hair was matted. She had black rings under her eyes, which were dull and lifeless. I don’t think she’d showered because there was a definite whiff of stale sweat in the air. It was disgusting. Lucky for the rest of us, Mel made her go and wash.

  And I overheard Mel say that she overheard Nathan say that the hotel’s night manager was moaning to the day manager about the noise coming from Tilly’s suite last night. I wonder who she was with and what they were doing? You’d think she’d try to be more discreet. Not that it’s any of my business, even if I can’t wait to tell Liv who, like me, will be dying to know everything that happened.

  “You try being emotional with a script like this.” Tilly folds her arms and glares at Zac like a petulant child. She’s treading on dangerous ground if you ask me.

  Zac strides toward her, visibly relaxing his facial muscles on his way. “You’re the best, Tilly. You can do it. Come on, do it for me. Let’s wrap this scene up,” he says when he’s standing in front of her. He turns away from Tilly, the expression on his face unreadable, and faces the crew. “Okay, guys. Close up on Tilly, show her emotion at seeing Hui alive, then camera left to shoot Abi from behind as she runs with Vince and jumps on the back of the motorcycle.”

  What is it with this movie that I seem to spend so much time jumping onto the back of a motorcycle? I don’t see why they can’t keep using the same shot each time. Who’s going to know? Okay, I guess that’s not the attitude, and without all these shots I’d be hanging around doing not a lot, but even so.

  “Make sure you shoot from the waist up. I don’t want my fans thinking I have a b-b-b-butt the size of an elephant,” Tilly growls.

  Suddenly, all eyes are on me, and I just know my face is crimson. When will she stop with the mockery? I won’t let her see I’m upset, though, because she’ll only be worse. Not that anyone is going to say anything to her about it.

  She’s the star.

  What’s wrong with my butt, anyway? It’s not that big, and everyone says Tilly and I are the same size. Plus now I have my fake boobs, which makes me a lot more curvy and in proportion than before.

  “Ignore her,” says Vince cutting into my thoughts. “She’s not having a good day. And by the way, your butt is fine.” He casts a glance at my ass and nods.

  You know, when Vince is made up to look like Nathan, he’s quite cute, with his dark, close-cropped curls and big brown eyes. Not that I have the hots for him in that way. He’s just a great guy to hang out with. I prefer the less chiseled and more ruffled look, like…like… No, I’m not going down that path. Matt’s just a friend.

  “Thanks. I just don’t get why she has to be like this when she has such an amazing life.”

  Even if what Vince says about being a star—about how it’s not all it’s hyped up to be—is true, there are still millions of girls in this world who would give everything to have what Tilly has, and she should stop for a moment and think about that. I know that if the positions were reversed and I was the movie star, then I’d be nice to everyone and I’d be grateful for everything I had.

  Even just doing this gig I’m pretty grateful, because it’s more than most girls my age would ever get to do.

  “It might seem amazing to you, but her career is close to the edge. No one will employ her. This low-budget movie is her last chance,” Vince says, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the tree.

  “You’re kidding. Why, when her movies are so successful? I don’t get it.”

  “Because she’s so hard to manage, and directors are getting sick of having to deal with it. Every time she pulls a diva routine, it costs the studio money. The producers get pissed since they have to pay all of the crew overtime because movies are behind schedule. She’s not as bankable as she used to be, and if she’s not bringing in the money she’s costing the studio…”

  “I had no idea.” I shake my head.

  So the investors really are taking a huge risk. Scary for them if everything depends on Tilly pulling it off. Maybe that’s why they had to hire a total unknown like me. If Tilly screws up, they stand to lose a lot of money, so they have to keep costs down in other areas where they can. I sort of feel sorry for her.

  “No, they—”

  “Action,” says Zac, cutting dead my conversation with Vince.

  We both turn and look at Tilly.

  “Hui. You’re here. They told me you were dead.” As Tilly clings to Nathan, tears stream down her face. Finally, we get to see the Tilly magic. It’s incredible that with so few words she can give the most spell-binding, heart-wrenching performance. It even brings tears to my eyes. It’s so amazing how she can turn it on for the camera, when she wants to. Yet for me, every time I speak it’s a monumental effort, requiring absolute concentration.

  Her attitude aside, I could learn a lot from Tilly.

  …

  “Cut and hold,” yells Zac. “Good work everyone. Abi, you were spot on. And Tilly, you should be more like Abi. Have an early night, get plenty of rest, and leave the liquor alone.”

  Whoa! I can’t believe he just said that. I’m desperate to take a look at Tilly’s face to see how she’s taking it, except I can’t since when Zac says hold, it means we’re not allowed to move until the cameraman says so. He has to check that everything’s okay and that the scene’s in the can and, if it isn’t, we have to go over it again. So it’s important for continuity we stay where we are. Which, for me, is sitting behind Vince on the motorcycle, looking behind as we’ve managed to escape from our pursuers. A few minutes later, we get the all clear, and I swing my leg around, get off, and head toward the resting tent. My work for the morning is done.

&nb
sp; “Hey, you. Abi.” I glance up and see Tilly heading in my direction. And she doesn’t look like she’s in a good mood.

  “Yes?”

  “I know what you’re doing; don’t think I don’t,” she says in a harsh voice that’s barely above a whisper but still sends a shiver down my spine.

  Not that I have a clue what’s she’s talking about.

  “Sorry?”

  “Trying to make me look bad in front of Zac.”

  This has got to be a bad dream. Since when have I ever done anything to make Tilly look bad? I know Zac said she should be more like me, but he didn’t mean it. Not really.

  “I’m n-not doing anything. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  “I’m n-n-n-not doing anything,” Tilly says, imitating me so well it’s like talking to myself. “Don’t give me that crap.” She narrows her eyes. “Yes, Zac. No Zac. How do you want me to do this, Zac? Is that all right, Zac. Let me kiss your butt, Zac.”

  Why doesn’t she just shut the hell up and leave me alone? So what if I’m doing as I’m told? I don’t know how much more I can take of her going off on me like this. At least, not without landing a kick right where it hurts. Well, in my dreams that’s what I’d do.

  “I just wanted to get it right. For the movie. I wasn’t trying to get you in trouble.” My voice starts to quiver, and it takes all my resolve to pull it back in. There’s no way I’m going to lose it in front of her, because she’ll just love that.

  “Tilly.” Fraser’s call distracts her, and she turns from me.

  “What?”

  “Zac wants to speak to you about the next scene.”

  “Now what does he want? We went over all this yesterday.” She looks back at me and rolls her eyes to the sky. “That man. I’ll tell you, he must be the worst director I’ve worked with.”

  She lets out a long groan then slowly walks back towards the main set area, slouching and dragging her feet all the way.