Never Look Back (Coming Home Book 2)

by Stephens, Amy

  I started coming home more, and when I was up to it, my mom would take me shopping and started helping me get the bedroom ready because Chloe would be home soon. Before Chloe was born, I really hadn’t prepared my bedroom for her at all.

  I came home one afternoon and found a rather large object left on my front porch covered by a sheet. Whatever it was appeared to be rectangular in shape and was three to four feet high. I lifted the sheet and discovered the most beautiful crib I had ever seen. It was obvious the crib had been stripped of its original coloring and now was a beautiful chestnut color. On top of the mattress inside the crib, I found a small card with a note from Todd’s grandfather. I should have known he had been up to something. The work he did to refinish the crib was stunning and I can’t believe he would go to such trouble to do this for me. He is truly a special grandfather.

  My mom and Beth rearranged the bedroom furniture so that Chloe’s bed would be within a few steps of mine. And now that we are both home together, I can stand beside her bed and watch her for hours at a time and never grow tired of looking at her.

  My mom told me that I needed to get on a routine—when Chloe was sleeping, I needed to also be sleeping. I should take advantage of a nap anytime I could. I just hated I might miss something if I did doze off. Eventually, I became so exhausted I could barely hold my head up. Thank goodness my mom was here because there was one night I slept for over nine hours straight. I woke in a panic because I hadn’t fed Chloe or heard her cry when she needed changing. I looked over and saw mom holding her while they both rocked in the recliner. I was instantly relieved to see my mom tending to her, but it’s like my mom said, “It’s eventually going to catch up with you and your body needs its rest too. You are still healing yourself Jenn. If Chloe cries out, it’s just fine. She’s only strengthening her lungs.”

  I keep forgetting my mom had three of us to tend to and Beth had Todd—they definitely know more than me when it comes to motherhood.

  Chloe has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I look back at my life and everything I’ve been through this past year, and while I would change some things, I would never change anything about her at all. There are no words to describe how becoming a mother makes you feel. I stare down at Chloe while she sleeps and it’s the most perfect site you will ever lay your eyes upon. Babies are so pure and innocent. They are so perfect.

  Chloe still doesn’t have much hair and what little bit she does have appears to be very dark. My hair has always had darker tones so hopefully she will keep her dark color as well so that when people see me and Chloe together, I can smile and agree when they tell me, “Oh, she looks just like you.” I have to say there are some features about her that do resemble Brian but I try not to think about it. Chloe will go through many changes with her looks before she develops her own unique appearance.

  Brian doesn’t know what he is missing out on. Maybe he does but I don’t regret a single moment of leaving him when I did. If he could have only changed things may have worked out differently for the two of us, but there is no way I would ever consider going back to him now.

  Ever since the night I went into labor and my dad had called to tell me about the damage Brian had done to the apartment, I have not heard anything more from him. After I filed for divorce I had my name changed back as well. My maiden name was used on the birth certificate for Chloe and Brian’s name was left off purposely. I didn’t feel he was deserving to have any rights to her and he definitely is not worthy of being a father given the path he’s chosen to live his life. All has been quiet and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

  I step out of the shower and glance over at the crib. Chloe is still sound asleep. Sometimes I place my finger underneath her nose just to feel her tiny breaths. I’m pretty sure all mothers do this at some point; it’s just an instinct we have about us.

  I’m not sure if the dress I have laid out on the bed is really what I want to wear this evening, but, if I don’t like the way it looks when I see myself in the mirror, then I’ll change into something else. You see, Todd is graduating pharmacy school in a couple of hours. While I was happy he invited me to attend the ceremony, I’m extremely nervous and not sure if I’m doing the right thing by leaving Chloe behind with my mom for such a long period of time even though I know she’ll be fine.

  I can’t begin to tell you how much help Todd has been. From the night he first took me to the emergency room to just this past weekend when he stopped by to see if I needed him to pick up anything from the store, I have felt this bond between us. He and I have developed an even stronger friendship since that day back in the restaurant, but lately, I’ve been feeling that there could possibly be something else in the works for us. Although neither of us have ever crossed the line with our friendship, one would think just by how much time he spends stopping by and calling that there is surely something more in the making.

  The night Chloe was born all of the hospital staff assumed Todd was her father just by the way he attended to me and my needs. When the nurses started asking more questions after he left the labor and delivery room, it was then that I learned they all thought we were married. I didn’t want to divulge too much personal information, after all, I had been through enough as it was, but I politely let the staff know Todd was just a really important friend to me. I was informed before I was released that I needed to hang on to him, that he was surely a keeper.

  And now, as I sit her putting on my makeup and getting ready for Todd’s graduation, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to possibly have some kind of relationship with him, something more personal than just our friendship.

  He called earlier this morning to make sure I was still planning to attend his graduation ceremony. I told him I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world. My mom is planning to be here shortly to tend to Chloe and she has told me more than a few times to not be in any hurry to get back home. I had to remind her that Todd’s graduation was a little different from my high school graduation—there wouldn’t be all sorts of parties going on afterwards that we would be attending. Besides, maybe I want to hurry back home to spend time with my precious angel.

  Just as I hear my mom pulling in the driveway I hear the alert from my phone indicating I have a text message. I reach for the phone and see the message is from Todd.

  Todd: Planning to leave in about ten minutes. If you need more time just let me know.

  Me: That’s fine. My mom is just now getting here.

  Todd: See you in a minute.

  My mom lets herself inside and I quickly pull the dress over my head and slide on my shoes. It feels funny wearing heals, but I figured it’s not every day a girl gets to dress up in a fancy dress and heals.

  “Honey, you about ready?” I hear her ask from the living room.

  “Hey, mom. I’m almost done.” I fasten the button that’s behind my neck and run my hands over the front of the dress smoothing out any visible wrinkles. Even though the material is somewhat clingy, I’m still a little self-conscious about my appearance. My weight is now five pounds less than what it was when I found out I was pregnant and I’m pleased with the progress I’ve made to return to my normal size. There for a while I had been so sick and was losing weight, but it didn’t take long for me to start adding on the pounds once the sickness went away. I gained a total of twenty pounds while carrying Chloe and I still have a hard time believing she weighed a little less than four pounds when she was born.

  I step back and take one final look at myself. I’m pleased with the way the dress looks and I can’t help but wonder what Todd will think when he sees me in a few minutes.

  I walk over to the crib to check on Chloe one last time and she’s still sound asleep. I sure wish I could get her to sleep this long during the night, but there are some nights that are better than others. But I’ll take the good nights and the bad just to have her at home with me instead of the hospital.

  “Wow, look at you.” My mom excl
aims as I walk in to the living room. “Don’t you look pretty!”

  “Thanks mom.” I give her a big smile and give her a hug. My parents have been so supportive of me and Chloe. I can’t believe it took that tragic night for me to have the courage to finally tell my parents everything, the marriage, the pregnancy, everything. Looking back, I’m a lucky girl to have them.

  “What time are you leaving?” She asks.

  “Todd should be here any minute. He sent a text just as you were pulling up.”

  We both turn to look towards the door just as Todd’s truck pulls in the driveway.

  “Right on time.”

  “Can you give this to him? Your father and I wanted to give him a little something for all the hard work he has endured to reach this special time in his life.” My mom passes me an envelope that she pulls from her purse.

  “Sure. Thanks, mom. Chloe’s taking a long nap for you so enjoy. Her formula’s in the ‘fridge. I’m not sure what time I’ll be home but promise me you’ll call if you need anything.” I’m a nervous wreck leaving Chloe behind but I know she’s going to be well taken care of. Or could it be I’m nervous because I’m about to see Todd?

  Todd opens the truck door to get out but I’m already down the steps walking around the side of the truck to climb in. I think back to that awful night Todd brought me halfway home to meet Rebecca in this truck. I had a hard time climbing in and out of it because it sits so high up off the ground, but since then, I have learned to get in and out easily. It’s definitely a man’s truck although Todd doesn’t tinker with it and pamper it like most guys do. It’s always been clean inside and out every time I’ve been with him.

  I shut the door and get comfortable in the seat as I buckle my seatbelt.

  “I could have gotten the door for you and helped you get in.” He is quick to tell me.

  “It’s okay. Here, this is from my parents.” I pass the envelope over to him and use this moment to take in how nice he looks. He’s dressed in black slacks and a white button up shirt. He’s wearing a patterned tie that makes him look even sexier than normal. This is the first time I have ever seen him this dressed up and it really looks good on him. “You look nice this evening.” I feel my cheeks redden as soon as I say this and quickly turn to look out the window.

  “Babe, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you look freaking hot.”

  Now I know my cheeks are red because I can feel the heat coming from them. Lately, I’ve noticed Todd has started complimenting me more and I’ve even caught him staring at me. If I didn’t know any better, I would think he’s got a crush on me, but neither of us have ever mentioned there being anything more between us other than friends. I admit I’ve thought about what it would be like to have something more with him, but I wouldn’t want to risk our friendship if I were mistaken.

  “Todd, you’re making me blush.” I tell him, even though I do enjoy hearing him say it.

  “Thank you again for accompanying me to my graduation. It really means a lot that you’d give up your evening for me.” He reaches over the console and squeezes my hand.

  “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” I like the way his hand feels holding mine and I choose to leave it there.

  “How’s Chloe doing?”

  “She was still asleep when my mom got to the house. I know she’ll take good care of her, but I miss her so much already.”

  I hear my phone ring and reach down to pull it from my purse. I hate to take my hand from Todd’s but I figure it’s probably my mom letting me know Chloe’s awake now. Instead, it’s a number I don’t recognize. I’m somewhat hesitant to answer it at first, then I take the call, figuring it’s probably nothing worthwhile anyways.

  “Hello.”

  “Ms. Davis?” I hear the person ask with a questioning tone to their voice.

  “This is she. Who’s calling please?” I feel a sudden uneasiness about the call, but I try to steady my voice as much as possible.

  “Hi. This is Karen Cooper. I’m Ms. Jordan’s personal assistant.”

  I rack my brain quickly trying to place the name, then it hits me. Ms. Jordan is the name of the attorney my father hired to handle my divorce.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes, I’ve got some good news to share with you.”

  “Good news?” I question her.

  “I had instructions from Ms. Jordan to let you know that the judge signed your divorce papers today. She figured you would be relieved to know it’s all behind you now.”

  I’m completely silent, unsure what to say. Todd notices my behavior and slows the truck down to pull off the side of the road.

  “Everything okay?” He whispers.

  I nod my head and big tears spill from my eyes. This time they are not tears of sadness but tears of joy. I’m officially a free woman. I am no longer married to Brian Collins. All of my ties with him are finally severed.

  “Ms. Davis?”

  I hear my name through the phone and quickly try to compose myself to finish the conversation.

  “I’m sorry ma’am. I just needed a moment.” I tell her. “Your call has completely taken me by surprise.

  “I understand. Take your time. This must be a tremendous relief for you.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “Ms. Jordan would like to know if you could stop by her office this week to pick up your copy of the divorce or she could have them sent to you. It’s your decision.”

  “Please, tell her I will stop by first thing in the morning. Oh my goodness. I can’t believe this is really it. Thank you so much for this wonderful news.” I turn the phone off and relax back into the seat. I’m speechless.

  Todd gives me a moment to gain my composure, then asks if I’m ready for him to drive on now. I nod my head that it’s okay and all I can do is let out a deep breath, unable to say anything at all. It’s finally over. I am finally free.

  I become nervous as I listen to the conversation Jennifer is having on her phone. I pull off the side of the road in case we need to turn around and head back home, but I can tell by some of the things she is saying that it’s not her mother calling her at all, but someone else.

  I listen intently, but don’t want to come across as being nosy. Jennifer becomes quiet all of a sudden and I immediately turn to look at her. It appears as though she wants to say something except she doesn’t know how to form the words. Once she gets control of herself, she begins to talk more with the person on the other end of the call again and I realize by some of the things she is saying that the call pertains to her divorce.

  Once she has ended the call, I give her a moment before I ask if it’s okay to continue driving again. She nods her head, still unable to say anything for the moment.

  The rest of the drive into town, both of us are silent. I’m scared to bring up the phone call and she looks as though the dam of tears could break at any moment. I pull into the parking lot of the university and as soon as I can put the truck in park, I reach over and grab her hand. I lift up the console that separates us and lean over to embrace her in a hug. Almost immediately, she rests her head on my shoulder and I can’t help but to squeeze her tightly. This woman feels so good in my arms.

  “I’m not sure what that was all about, but it’s obvious you’ve found out something that’s important to you.” I grip her hand a little more. I’m just so uncertain what to say to her.

  I’ve got a stack of napkins inside the glove box and I drop her hand in order to get them out for her. She takes one from me, but one look at her face, and I’m suddenly confused. At first I thought she was upset about something, but now I don’t think that at all.

  I decide to get out of the truck and I go around to open her door. She doesn’t waste any time climbing down from the seat and looks at me directly in my eyes.

  “Talk to me. What’s wrong honey?” I’m at a loss right now, not sure what I can do.

  “It’s over Todd. It’s finally over.” She drops her head dow
n, breaking eye contact with me, and falls into my arms again.

  I’m still a bit confused so I just hold her. She breaks down and I feel her body trembling. The only thing I know to do is hold on tight and not let go. When she’s ready to talk, I’ll be waiting.

  I run my hand over her hair and give the only support I know how. Jennifer finally pulls back from my embrace and looks up at me. Her eyes are beginning to swell and redden and most of her eye makeup is now gone. She’s still pretty to me, but I know she went to a lot of trouble to look extra nice tonight.

  “Brian finally signed the papers. The divorce is over.” She stops for a moment to catch her breath, then continues. “According to the lawyer’s assistant I was speaking with on the phone, Brian was arrested a few weeks ago and while he was working with his attorney on the charges against him, he requested a copy of the divorce papers. He signed them without questioning anything at all and the judge finalized it earlier today with his signature.”

  “That is the best news, Jenn! I am so happy for you.” I reach over and give her another hug. “You had me so confused. At first, I thought you were upset, but now I see you’re emotional because you’re so happy.”

  “And of all the days for this to happen, it’s your graduation day.” She says. “I definitely think this calls for a celebration for the both of us.” Finally, a smile appears on her face and she looks as though the weight of the world has been lifted from her shoulders.

  “Come on, let’s go find my parents and give them the news. I need to get checked in and pick up my gown for the ceremony, but I know they’ll be pleased to hear this.” I reach for her hand again and we both walk in the direction of the auditorium.

  “Joseph Todd Williams.”

  My name is announced and I advance forward to receive my recognition for fulfilling all of the requirements for my degree. I am officially a Doctor of Pharmacy. As I near the stage, I hear the applause from the audience and I turn to look out into the crowd. But my eyes immediately are drawn to Jennifer. Not my mom. Not my dad. For a split second, our eyes lock and I’m so happy to see she has a smile on her face. Today is an important day for us both. I have endured years of studying and hard work and she has overcome one of the biggest obstacles of her life. We will both walk away today succeeding in different areas, but this day will remain with us forever.