For All The Right Reasons (Band Of Brothers Book 1)

by Ann Lister

  Sydney shrugged, pretending to be indifferent.

  “Were you with her a long time?” she asked.

  Ben finished his wine and poured more into the glass.

  “Six or seven months,” he said.

  “How long ago did it end?”

  “About a year,” he said, and crossed his arms behind his head. “Would you like to know why she dumped me?”

  “That's none of my business.”

  Ben sat forward on the seat.

  “She was tired of hearing me talk about you, and she sure as hell hated the fact your name was plastered across my chest.”

  “You told me yesterday my name on your chest had a negative connection to it.”

  “I lied,” he said. “I said that to piss you off. Truth is, having your name on my skin somehow kept you close to me. You'll always be in my heart, so it made sense to have your name permanently inked on top of it.”

  A long moment passed between them.

  “Did you see Billy Iris at the Civic Center?” she asked.

  Ben sat up quickly and set his feet on the deck.

  “He was there?”

  “Apparently, he knows Michael Wade.”

  “Did you talk to him?”

  “Unfortunately, I did.”

  Ben ran his fingers through his hair and cursed under his breath.

  “We had another confrontation in the parking lot,” she said.

  “Did he hurt you?”

  “He threw around a couple of threats.”

  “What kind of threats?” Ben asked.

  “It doesn't matter. I'm in the process of having a restraining order put against him.”

  “Do you actually think a piece of paper is going to keep him from hurting you?”

  “According to the cops, that's all I can do at this point,” Sydney said.

  “You need real protection, Syd, a few body guards, or start carrying a gun - especially if you're traveling with Jenna.”

  Sydney tensed. “I know what's best for myself and Jenna.”

  “I'll give Mike a call and see who he would recommend for security detail.”

  “I said I'd take care of it.”

  “Syd…”

  “I don't want to talk about Billy any longer. He's not worth it.”

  Ben reclined again and rubbed at his forehead. Billy Iris was one more thing he would now have to worry about. He decided to give Mike a call, without Sydney's knowledge, and see about having a couple of security guards watching Sydney and Jenna. Satisfied with his decision, he rolled onto his side.

  “Sit with me, Sydney.”

  “I don't think I should do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because, the last time I sat in that chair with you, I ended up pregnant.”

  “In this chair? That could have happened anywhere in this house - on any flat surface, the beach…”

  “Ben!”

  “Come on, Sydney, sit with me. I promise to keep my pants on.”

  Ben shifted to the end of the chair and held his hand out for her. When she got close enough, he tugged her by the finger tips. She sat at the edge of the cushion and waited as Ben manipulated his body beside her, his shoulder pressed to hers.

  “That's not so bad, is it?” he said softly. His fingers moved up her spine and settled onto the back of her neck, gently massaging the tightness out of her muscles.

  “Did you really talk about me all the time?” she asked.

  “I wasn't aware I was doing it, but she claimed I was.”

  His fingers continued their manipulations; slow gentle circles followed by therapeutic gripping. She shivered from his touch and dropped her head forward.

  Ben took the wine glass from her hand and set it beside his on the deck. His hand went to her chin and turned her face to him.

  “Sydney,” he whispered. “I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you yesterday and…if it's okay, I'd like to kiss you again.”

  She touched the soft whiskers on his chin and smiled warmly.

  His fingers ran across her jaw line and disappeared into her hair. Lightly his lips brushed hers, his tongue teasing the corner, then tracing a line to the plump center. Her hands went around his neck and pulled him firmly to her mouth.

  His passion quickly boiled to the surface. He opened his mouth wider and felt her bend to him. He reclined and pulled her down to the back of the lounge chair, his mouth never disconnecting from hers.

  Sydney curled against him, her fingers inching across his skin. His moans rattled into her throat; his hand slipped beneath her t-shirt and toyed with her bare breasts. His kisses grew in intensity, leaving Sydney breathless. He had a way of kissing her that was so intimate, it felt as good as making love. She simply couldn't get enough.

  They stayed entwined on the lounge chair for a long time, until Sydney separated herself from him and stood up from the chair.

  “What's wrong, Sydney?” he asked.

  She glanced inside the house, then back at Ben.

  “I should check on Jenna,” she said.

  Ben came to his feet in front of her. His hands went to her shoulders and squeezed, his eyes trying to hold hers, but she kept looking away.

  “Why don't you check on Jenna and meet me in my room?” he asked.

  Sydney stiffened in his arms, anxiety made creases above her brows.

  “If you don't want to go upstairs with me, just say so,” he said against her temple. “Tell me what you want, because I'm really having trouble reading you.”

  Sydney delicately touched his chest and set her forehead against his shoulder. Her arms slid around his ribs and onto his back.

  “I want…you.”

  Ben pulled her tight to his body, his hands tilting her hips to his.

  “Not as much as I want you, but I'm guessing that's pretty obvious right about now.”

  Ben followed Sydney up the stairs. He watched her disappear into the guest room and went to his own room. He switched on the bathroom light and partially shut the door, then removed his shirt and tossed it onto a chair. He walked to the glass doors leading to the deck and opened them, then stood on the deck for a moment, listening to the ocean and inhaling the warm night air. He went back to his bed and sat on the edge, hoping like hell Sydney wouldn't change her mind about joining him.

  Sydney bent over Jenna and tightened the sheets around her tiny body. She touched the girls head lightly and smiled, then silently moved back toward the door. She stood in the hall for a moment, trying to collect herself and glanced toward Ben's room. She could see a soft light coming from his open door and closed her eyes.

  She ached for him. There was no point in denying that truth. She missed his touch, the way he made her feel so alive, even the tone of his voice, but she was afraid they were both wanting different things.

  She was looking for stability for Jenna, and of course, love. In all the time they were together, Ben had never discussed ever wanting to be married or even living with her. She knew he had once loved her deeply and sensed he still did, but that wasn't enough for her now. With Jenna in the picture, things were different. She was different.

  She stepped into the doorway of Ben's bedroom. He was leaning on his elbows on the bed, feet still touching the floor, and shirtless. The room was in darkness, except for one small bathroom light filtering into the room from a partially closed door. The glass doors leading to the deck were open, causing the sheer curtains to flutter about in the breeze. He sat up when she entered the room, his hands resting between his thighs.

  “Is Jenna sleeping?” he asked.

  “She's still in the same position from earlier.”

  Ben held his hand out to her and smiled. Sydney crossed the room slowly, tears beginning to well in her eyes. When she was directly in front of him, he reached for her, and slid his arms around the back of her thighs, pulling her between his knees. His face settled against her chest. She could hear his strained breathing and feel the heat of his breath bu
rning through the fabric of her t-shirt. Without much thought, she pulled the shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor.

  Ben's hands immediately went to her breasts, cradling his face between the soft mounds. He moaned loudly and took a nipple into the warmth of his mouth.

  Sydney swayed on her feet; her knees buckling from the pleasure of Ben's mouth. She dropped her hands to his shoulders for support. His fingers slid down her stomach and grabbed onto the elastic waistband of her pajama bottoms. He tugged until the garment slid to her thighs, then eased one hand between her legs, while the other hand went to her backside, his mouth still toying with her nipples.

  Sydney sighed. Her fingers drifted into his hair, balling clumps of it in her palms, then pulling.

  His fingers found her wetness and Sydney fell against him. Her hips moving in time with his manipulations. He was whispering to her, sweet sensual mutterings, coaxing her over the edge. Everything in her head began to swirl, her skin began to sweat.

  “Ben, please…”

  He kissed her stomach and pulled her tighter against his body. He held on to her until her spasms stopped, then finished pushing her pajama bottoms to the floor. He stood, his eyes weighing heavy on hers.

  “Lay down for me, baby,” he said, and kissed her mouth.

  Sydney moved onto the bed and watched as Ben removed his pants and crawled up beside her. He rolled onto his side facing her. For a minute he just stared at her, disbelieving she was really laying in his bed again. He had never loved a woman the way he loved Sydney. His feelings for her were almost overwhelming and all consuming to him. He studied her eyes and saw so many emotions building in them, it made his chest tighten.

  “Are you okay?” he asked in a smooth, velvety voice.

  Sydney nodded and closed her eyes.

  “Do you want to stop?” he asked.

  Her fingers slid down the flatness of his stomach and circled his sex.

  “Do you really think you could stop now?” she asked.

  He groaned when she tightened her grip.

  “You're making it difficult, but I think I could still stop. Question is: could you?”

  Sydney began to stroke his flesh. “I could stop - but I don't want to.”

  Ben eased himself on top of her and began kissing his way down her stomach, then settled his mouth between her legs. Sydney arched against him, her hands reaching for his head. A few minutes later, she called his name, and her spasms started a second time. He moved up beside her on the pillows and smiled.

  “Are you trying to kill me?” she asked breathless.

  “I've got three years to make up for, Sydney. I might never stop.”

  Sydney touched his face and watched his smile fade as her hand moved to his groin. Then she slid her leg across his hips and straddled his lap. Ben tried to enter her, but she shifted her hips preventing him.

  “Not yet,” she whispered against his mouth, slowly grinding herself against his erection.

  His hands circled her back and settled onto her hips. “Who's killing who, now?”

  “I thought you liked my lap dances,” she teased, pressing her chest against his.

  Ben tipped his hips forward and made another attempt to penetrate her.

  “I do, baby - more than you know, but right now, all I can think about is being inside you.”

  Ben flipped Sydney onto her back and moved between her legs. He kissed her mouth, and eased himself into her wetness, then moaned when he reached the spot he was aching for.

  “God, I love you, Sydney,” he sighed, feeling her respond to each of his thrusts and wrap her legs around the back of his. He felt Sydney tighten in orgasm and lost control, quickly climaxing himself.

  He rolled onto his side and pulled her tightly against him, kissing her softly, while he waited for his breathing to return to normal. He silently studied her. Her eyes glistened with moisture. She seemed peaceful and content, but he couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. He wondered if being with him again felt as right to her as it did to him. He used a finger to remove a few strands of her hair from covering her eyes.

  “You're awfully quiet, Sydney. Can I ask what you're thinking about?” he asked.

  “I was thinking about how much I still love you,” she said.

  “I thought I might be the only one still feeling it.”

  “I never stopped,” she said. “That's why I had your name inked on the back of my neck.”

  “You have no idea how much I've missed you, Sydney,” he said, kissing her throat, his tongue drawing wet circles on her skin. “I missed the sound of your voice, the texture of your skin, the way you taste…all of it,” he whispered, and eased himself into her again.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “Momma! Momma!” Jenna called for Sydney from the guest room.

  Sydney's eyes slowly opened and focused on her surroundings, then she turned to her side and saw Ben slumbering contentedly beside her.

  “Momma!” the little girl called again.

  Suddenly reality sprang into Sydney's brain like an ice pick. She bolted from Ben's bed.

  “Oh, my God! Ben! Wake up!”

  He rolled onto his side and sat upright, reaching for Sydney as she jumped from his bed.

  “What's going on?” he asked.

  “I can't believe I over slept!” she grumbled, searching the floor for her pajamas.

  “It's not a big deal,” he said with a chuckle.

  He slipped from the bed and pulled on his pajama pants, then came up behind her and eased his arms around her naked curves. Sydney pushed his hands away.

  “You don't understand,” she said. “I was supposed to wake up with Jenna - not in here with you.”

  Ben laughed loudly.

  “Stop laughing and help me find my clothes!” she said. She lifted the discarded bed quilt from the floor and looked beneath it. “I can't believe I over slept!”

  “I'll take Jenna downstairs and make her some breakfast,” he said still laughing. “Maybe after you find your clothes, you can come down and join us?”

  “I didn't want Jenna to know I slept in here,” she said quietly, sitting on the edge of his bed.

  Ben walked toward his bedroom door and smiled over his shoulder at Sydney. “She's three, Syd. You're making it sound as if Jenna somehow knows what a dirty girl her mother was last night.”

  Sydney lifted her head and saw him grinning at her from the doorway.

  “I wasn't the only one being dirty,” she said.

  “At least I could find my clothes this morning!” he said, and opened the door to leave.

  Sydney reached for a bed pillow and tossed it at the door just as Ben closed it.

  An hour later, Sydney finally went downstairs, freshly showered and dressed in another short skirt and tight fitting cotton shirt with a scoop neck. Sydney glanced across the room and saw Ben sitting at the kitchen table beside Jenna. He was helping the little girl eat a bowl of cereal. As soon as she entered the room, his eyes went to her, a brilliant smile forming on his handsome face.

  “I see you found some clothes,” he teased. He stood from the table and approached her.

  “Momma! Daddy made me breakfast.”

  “Yes, baby. I can see that,” Sydney said. She went to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup of black coffee.

  Ben moved in behind her and kissed her neck, his hands sliding around her waist and fanning across her stomach.

  “Hmmm, you smell good enough to eat,” he said, deeply inhaling the scent of her skin and hair.

  Jenna watched her father embracing her mother. She covered her mouth with a chubby hand and started to giggle.

  “Daddy likes Momma,” the little girl said.

  “No, Jenna. Daddy loves Momma - a lot,” Ben said.

  Ben glanced at Sydney sipping her coffee. He waited until her eyes hit him and then his face relaxed. “I do, you know,” he said quietly.

  “Me, too,” she replied shyly, the moisture in her eyes mak
ing them sparkle in the light.

  His hand went to the back of her neck and squeezed, then slowly pulled her against him.

  “If you can take over for me, I'll go shower,” he said. He pressed his cheek to hers and lightly kissed the skin, his tongue taking a quick taste.

  “Although, I prefer having your scent all over my body, I think for the sake of our child, I should probably go wash it off. Wouldn't you agree?”

  Sydney playfully shoved him on the chest. “Go take a shower.”

  She watched him climb the stairs until he disappeared, her eyes locked on his backside as he moved. A shiver shot through her.

  A few minutes later, Ben returned to the kitchen wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, the ends of his hair still dripping with water. Sydney was at the sink washing the breakfast dishes when he came up behind her again, his arms circled her waist.

  “I have a dishwasher, you know,” he said, pressing his lips to the nape of her neck.

  “I know, but there weren't that many to wash.”

  Ben's fingers inched down to the hem of Sydney's skirt and began lifting the fabric. “Where's Jenna?” he asked. His voice low and seductive, his erection already expanding the front of his pants and pressing against her bottom.

  Sydney dropped her head back against his shoulder when she felt his fingers hit the bare skin of her thighs.

  “She's coloring at the table on the deck,” Sydney said.

  “Do you think she'd miss us if I brought you back upstairs?” he asked. His fingers fanned over her flesh and headed toward the heat between her legs.

  Sydney sighed and turned around to face him. “She'd miss us, Ben.”

  He kissed her mouth, his tongue exploring the inside, and his fingers eased beneath her panties.

  “Does she take a nap?” he asked.

  “Didn't you get enough last night?”

  “Of you? That's not possible,” he smiled.

  Sydney touched his face thoughtfully, then stepped away putting her back to him. Her heart was sinking with every passing minute he didn't validate the certainty of a future for them. She needed to hear him say the words out loud. Without a commitment she couldn't stay. It wasn't fair to her or Jenna.