The Bear's Reluctant Mate (Uncontrollable Shift Book Three)

by R. E. Butler

  “I think you’re pretty damn sexy yourself. And I’m glad you came to see me. Can I ask you something?”

  “You can ask me anything.”

  “I feel very…” she paused and pressed her hand to her heart. How could she describe her feelings? “I don’t know, Cruz. I feel so strongly toward you and it’s not like anything I ever expected. It’s not like love at first sight, but it’s so damn real that it’s visceral. Like I could reach out and touch the emotions I have for you. Like a part of me was waiting just for you all this time.”

  He laid his hand over hers. “Our people believe when there’s a mating connection, that the couple feel emotions on a deeper level. You and I started off with a bang, but instead of jumping into bed and cementing the relationship, we stepped back and let things grow naturally. I don’t think what you’re feeling is strange, because I feel it, too. It’s almost like there’s an invisible tie between our hearts. You are always on my mind. I didn’t expect to feel so emotionally strong toward you after such a short time, but I do.”

  “Do all shifters have this kind of connection?”

  He curled his fingers against hers and she felt the light pressure against her skin before he pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Generally, yes. When bears choose their mates, they first physically connect and then the emotional connection follows naturally. My parents are very close. There’s no doubt that they love each other, and that they’re emotionally connected on a deep level. They’re best friends. But in the case of something like an arranged mating, when the person didn’t choose their mate, but one was provided for them, there’s no guarantee that an emotional connection will be strong, or even exist at all.”

  She hummed as she ran her thumb along his strong jaw, feeling the light scrape of stubble. “Is your bear mad at me because of the distance between us? Because I made us wait?”

  “Not mad, sweetheart,” he said, cupping her face and drawing her to his lips for a soft kiss. She opened her eyes to find him studying her intently. “I never really felt lonely until I went to bed Sunday night and you weren’t with me. But I know in my heart that you and I will be together at some point, and I want you to be happy. Nothing on earth matters to me more than you, and whatever you want and need is all that I care about.”

  “What about what you want and need?”

  “Just you.”

  “You make it sound so simple.”

  “Well, it is. At least from my perspective. I recognized you instantly as my mate. The bear side of me wants you with me all the time so I can take care of you. But the human side of me understands that you need time to get to know me.”

  “If I were a bear, I wouldn’t have left you Sunday.”

  He shrugged. “I can’t say for sure. It depends on the situation. But most likely, no, you would have stayed in my house and at the very least taken my bed while I slept in one of the spare rooms. I think you’re feeling the mating connection and it’s starting to wear on you a little bit. It’s different for you because you didn’t grow up knowing that one day you’d lock eyes with someone and you would just know they were meant to be yours. So I do get what you said originally, that it’s as if a part of you was just waiting for me, because that’s exactly how I feel. I had a Juliette-shaped hole in my heart, but I didn’t know who it was for until you walked into my office.”

  She sank against him, pressing her lips to his. He held her tightly, his chest vibrating with what sounded like a happy growl to her ears. Although she was on fire and would have welcomed his touch anywhere, he kept his hands to her head and shoulders, playing with her hair, stroking her throat, and running his thumbs along her collarbone under the neckline of her shirt. Everywhere he touched set her skin alight, and she was far more tempted to move forward physically than she had been before he showed up.

  He kissed down her throat, nipping lightly at her skin, and then hugged her. Smoothing his hands up and down her back, he said, “I want to ask you something.”

  She pressed her face into the crux of his neck and inhaled his spicy scent. “Of course.”

  “When I come to take you to dinner on Friday night, I’d like you to pack a bag and come home with me.”

  She stilled, her mind spinning to the bag she’d already started packing. “For how long?”

  “Well,” he said gruffly, “I want to say the rest of our lives, but I know you might not be ready for that yet, so I’ll just say that for now I’d love for you to stay the weekend. I know you’ll need time to write, and I promise not to take up all of it kissing on you.” She smiled and he returned it, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “But more than that, I want you to know that I’m very serious about us being together. I want you to be my mate, and I want to ask you properly, which means ensuring that you know what it means and what we should both expect from it.”

  “You mate for life,” she said, straightening and looking at him. “It’s like marriage, but stronger. Your people don’t get divorced.”

  He nodded. “In my mind, in my heart, I’ve already claimed you as mine. But that doesn’t hold any weight if you haven’t said yes. So I’m asking you right now, if – in word only – you’ll be my mate.”

  Her brows drew down and she thought over what he’d said. “Word only?”

  “I won’t push our relationship physically. I want you to want me as much as I want you, and for you to set the pace. But I can’t go another second without asking if you’ll be my mate.”

  She didn’t need to think about it. She felt like she already was his mate, at least emotionally. But she also knew the seriousness of his question.

  Cruz continued. “Here’s the thing, sweetheart. I’m Alpha. And when you accept me as your mate, that means you’ll be Alpha female.”

  “There hasn’t been an alpha female that was human before, has there?”

  “Not in our history, no. The alpha female’s authority is linked to her male. As long as I rule, you would rule as well. The females would come to you for counsel and you’d be a comforter and arbiter. There hasn’t been an alpha female since before I took over. The previous alpha’s female died, and he retired from leadership. Our females haven’t had a leader in years, and it’s long past time for one.”

  “I don’t know how to be an alpha anything.”

  “You’ll learn.” He drew her to his lips for a slow kiss, her skin sizzling as need spiked within her. How could this man drive her so wild with only a touch? “And I’ll help. I believe you’re just what our clan needs, and you’re exactly what I need. And definitely want.” He nipped at her bottom lip, his eyes darkening. “I’ve never wanted anyone more.”

  She fisted his shirt and let out a slow breath. “I want to be yours.”

  “You already were, but this makes it official.” He cupped her face and smiled. “I’m yours, too.”

  He grasped her waist and lifted her from his lap, setting her on the couch next to him. Rising, he strode to the counter and returned with the tote, setting it on the coffee table.

  From the tote, he pulled out a large, leather-bound book. It had a sigil embossed on the cover that looked like blackberries. “This is one of the books of the history of my clan and encompasses the last hundred years. It has all our current laws, as well as the stories of the ruling alphas, clan battles, and ceremonies. The first book in your vampire series has a joining ceremony in it, performed at midnight.”

  She smiled as he handed her the leather book. She ran her fingertips over the embossed image. “I wanted to combine traditional wedding elements with gothic activities,” she explained.

  “It got me to thinking about our people’s ceremonies. Now, when a pair choose to be mated, they either join first privately and then have a celebration with the clan, or in the case of younger males and females, there will be a celebration first, like a reception, and then they’ll spend time together privately to complete their mating.”

  She gently opened the book and inhaled, the scent o
f old paper filling her nose. She loved libraries and old books. Touching the thick, hand-lettered page that stated it contained the history, lore, and ceremonial information for the clan, she glanced at Cruz. “What were the mating ceremonies like previously?”

  “I’m only vaguely aware of what they used to be like. Even my parents didn’t hold to the old ways. But my grandparents’ generation did. Matings were only done four times a year during the solstices and equinoxes. Depending on when a couple met, they would often choose to wait for those special four days. It ensured the gods of our people looked down on them favorably. Most who waited would bear young within the first year of mating, a boon to the couple.”

  “So they’d wait to become mates?”

  He nodded. “It wasn’t that they abstained from sex. Bears are physical creatures, and we crave that connection to our mates. Instead, they’d wait until the ceremony, where they’d mark their mate with their claws, and then greet the rising sun, professing their devotion and love to each other until their last breaths.”

  Her heart clenched. It was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard, and she’d written a lot of romantic lines in her stories.

  “I assumed that bears bit each other for marking.”

  He ran his thumb along her throat. “There’s a lot that can go wrong if a bite isn’t done properly, and there’s always a chance it wouldn’t scar, particularly in my people who tend to heal quickly. Bears use one claw dipped in sacred oil that they curl across their mate’s upper arm. The oil ensures the mark not only heals quicker than usual but also scars.” He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed the tips of each one. “You don’t have claws, but we can fix that.”

  “How?”

  “We can use a substitute. You could wield a claw from a natural bear.”

  “Then?”

  “Then we’ll pledge ourselves to each other. But you’re already mine, Juliette. It doesn’t matter to me that you’re human, it only matters to me that you’re mine. I don’t care that there’s never been a human alpha female. I’m honored that you’ll be the first one.”

  He took the book from her and set it on the table, then moved from the couch to drop to one knee on the floor. He pulled something from his pocket with one hand and took her left hand with his other. Her heart started to pound as she wondered what he was doing.

  Rubbing his thumb on the underside of her wrist, he said, “When a bear follows the old ways, he declares his intentions with a piece of jewelry. Once the female puts it on, she’s not to take it off until their mating ceremony, when he’ll remove it and mark her with his claw in a permanent sign of their bond. I want to follow the old ways for you, Juliette. I want to put this bracelet on you and in a month, during the fall equinox, I want to take it off and mark you as mine. You’ll be my mate in all ways and hold a position of honor in the clan as alpha female. Will you be mine, Juliette? Will you make a life with me?”

  Feeling like her heart was going to burst with happiness, she could hardly contain her joy as she nodded and said, “Yes!”

  He slipped a braided leather bracelet on her wrist and pulled on the ends to tighten it. Then he straightened, pulling her up with him and into his arms. “I promise to spend my life making you happy, Juliette.”

  She grinned, feeling the slight weight of the bracelet as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I promise to let you do that.”

  With a chuckle, he kissed her sweetly. “When we’re ready, we can get married by human standards, but on the equinox, we’ll be married in my people’s eyes. The bracelet is my declaration that I intend to make you mine in truth.”

  She lowered her hand to look at it. The deep purple colored leather was intricately braided. “It’s lovely. You made it?”

  “Yep. I saved a deerskin from a hunt last month. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it, but I knew I wanted to make something special with it. I dyed it with blackberry juice yesterday and then braided it.”

  “It’s amazing, thank you.”

  “Blackberries are special to my people. When they settled in this territory, it was covered with wild blackberries, so they declared them good luck. When a couple is newly mated, they hang a wreath of blackberry leaves on the front door to ward against evil spirits. And my uncle makes some pretty damn good blackberry wine.”

  “Your clan has such a neat history.”

  “I brought the book so you could read through it if you’d like.”

  “I’d love that.”

  “Good. I’ll show you the library this weekend, I suspect you’ll like that, too.”

  “I feel like you’re getting ready to leave,” she said, her hand tightening on his shoulder.

  He sighed. “I’m sorry, but I have a long drive back and have work to complete at the club. Plus, I’m certain you need to get back to work and I didn’t really want to take up a whole lot of your day.”

  “I don’t mind,” she said, leaning into him and listening to the steady beat of his heart. “I can’t believe you just asked me to be your mate and you have to leave.”

  “I’ll be back to pick you up on Friday. Will you pack a bag?”

  She couldn’t stop the smile. “I’ve already started.”

  He grinned lasciviously and brushed his lips over hers. “If I don’t leave now, I’ll never want to leave. We both have responsibilities, and we can figure out how to handle them together once we’re mated. But I couldn’t go another day without asking you to be mine, so you’d know my intentions were honest and true.”

  “I’m so glad you came.”

  “There’s a few more things in the tote for you,” he said.

  “Thank you.” She walked him to the door and twisted the lock. “I hate that we live so far from each other.”

  “I hate it too, sweetheart.” He lifted her left hand and kissed her knuckles, giving the bracelet a gentle tweak. “Mine.”

  “Yours,” she said.

  “The time will pass quickly,” he said. “I hope.”

  “Me, too.”

  With another kiss, he opened the door and walked out, his shoulders stiff and the soft sound of his bear’s grumble reaching her. She closed and locked the door, leaning against it with a sigh. He’d brought her so much joy in a short amount of time. He was so unlike any man she’d ever known. He’d never once tried to push the physical side of their relationship, and she’d been both happy and disappointed. She was still glad they were taking their time, but right now she felt like she knew him more than she’d ever known anyone, and he was one damn good man.

  She was supremely fortunate that her life had taken the turn it had. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she decided to first see what other gifts he’d brought for her, and then she’d get back to work. The faster she made it to her word count goals, the less she’d have to do this weekend when she’d have a chance to spend time with her bear again. Whether they slept together or not, she knew that once she was with him, she’d never want to be apart. Already the apartment felt empty, and she could still feel the heat of his kiss.

  It might only be two days until she’d see him again, but the time couldn’t go fast enough.

  Chapter 9

  By the time Cruz was ready to meet with the clan on Thursday afternoon to discuss his mate, he was head over heels for Juliette. No one entranced him like she did; he was well and truly smitten.

  Although their brief visit on Wednesday had made him feel like he’d won the lottery, he missed her terribly and couldn’t wait until Friday to see her again. He’d wanted her the moment he saw her and hated the distance between them, but he couldn’t deny he was enjoying the time to get to know her. His mate was far more interesting than anyone he’d ever known, and he was taking advantage of the time apart to truly get to know her. They had a lifetime together ahead of them, and while this week had been difficult without her by his side, time was slipping by swiftly. When she was finally in his arms and his home – their home – he’d be one honestly grateful m
ale. His mate was intelligent, articulate, and gorgeous, and he was one damn lucky bear.

  Drawing his attention back to the task at hand, he stood on the back porch of his home and waited for the clan to gather. The afternoon sun was brutal, so he didn’t plan to have a long meeting.

  “A few minutes and everyone should be here,” Tomlin said, stepping onto the porch through the open sliding glass doors.

  About half the clan was milling around on the open space of the backyard, looking at Cruz curiously and whispering to each other. The clan met monthly to address any issues that might affect them, and members were free to contact him for personal reasons whenever they needed to. He was the law of the clan, Tomlin was second-in-command. He’d heard that some shifter groups were more hierarchy based, such as wolves who ranked their males from alpha all the way to the weakest one, but bears didn’t orient their people that way. The alpha was the head honcho – or, as his mother liked to say, the high-muckety-muck – and Tomlin was second and that was it. Everyone else was oath-bound to follow Cruz, period.

  Or fight him for the right to be leader.

  Which, he conceded, with the news of him choosing a human female for a mate, could definitely bring some males forward to fight. He’d proven himself before, and he would do it again if necessary.

  When the last of the clan members had arrived, Cruz looked over the crowd and cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention to him.

  “Welcome. I called a meeting to share news that affects me and my family personally as well as the clan. On Sunday evening, I met a female, and the powerful connection between us brought my bear forward. I have found my mate, and I’ll be bringing her home on Friday night.” He waited while a murmur rose from the crowd, most of the voices curiously excited, but some sounding wary. He held up his hand for quiet. “My mate is human.”

  The murmur was back, even louder.

  “That’s not right!” a female shouted.

  “We can’t have a human alpha female!” a male called out.

  He recognized the voices, but couldn’t find the people, who were hidden in the crowd.