The Rabbit Great And Terrible

by Chereta, Nelson

  Alice came to an immediate halt. “Drow? The dark elves? But they’re murderous beasts! Everyone says they’re savages!”

  “That’s right,” Waldo nodded excitedly. “Now come on and pick up your feet. Hopefully, they’ll be more helpful than the guild was. And there’s no way they can be as scary as being alone with Melissa.” Waldo kept walking.

  “Come on, sweetie,” Belle waved a hand as she walked past. “Don’t want to be left behind do you?”

  “But… but the drow are monsters!”

  “So are we.”

  She hesitated, but eventually hurried and caught up with them. On the street, two figures followed them.

  Chapter 10

  The House Of Black Glass

  Waldo asked some of the local shop keepers and soon got directions to the drow embassy. It was in the north quarter of the Gold City, which put it about as far away from the Great Market and the guild as possible while still being inside the Wall.

  “Darling, you’ve had some bad ideas, but this has to be the absolute worst. They’ll probably murder us and turn our skulls into drinking cups.”

  “The drow actually see that as a huge honor. They would never drink from the skull of a person they didn’t respect.”

  Alice’s jaw dropped. “Stop and think about what you just said. You still want to go and meet these people?”

  “Just because you put the body parts of your enemies to good use doesn’t make you uncivilized. In Alteroth we make wands from the bones of mages. Does that make us savages?”

  Alice shuddered. “Darling, do you really want me to answer that?”

  Waldo gave a weary shake of his head. “You don’t appreciate how hard it is to earn a genuinely fearsome reputation. Anyone can burn down a few villages, kill some prisoners, take some slaves; it takes real dedication to make entire nations afraid. In Alteroth we admire the drow and their commitment to maintaining exacting standards of brutality and cruelty. They have a rare commitment to the craft.”

  “So, it’s a good thing they’re so horrible?” Alice asked.

  Waldo nodded. “You should always respect creativity and a strong work ethic.”

  “Is there a special reason you want to meet them, master?” Belle asked. “Or are we just going to have tea and talk about different torture techniques?”

  “With the guild being so obstinate they’re the only ones who might know where I can find a dragon’s lair. That kind of information is very hard to come by. If there’s any chance to find out where a dragon is I can’t pass it up.”

  “Will you tell them who you really are?” Alice asked. “I don’t think drow are ever friendly, but it has to be even worse for a White Mage. If they know the truth that might be better for you.”

  Waldo shook his head. “You don’t share secrets with the drow, at least not willingly. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. The fact they have an embassy here proves they are willing to deal with humans. And they must know what the consequences of killing a White Mage would be. It should be safe for me to negotiate with them.” Waldo paused. “Probably.”

  “Probably?”

  “Well… they are drow.” Waldo shrugged.

  “I have a really, really bad feeling about this,” Alice muttered.

  XXX

  The drow had an evil reputation. They lived in hidden, underground cities, with each being an independent nation. They were famous for magic, fighting skill, and cruelty, not necessarily in that order. The mere rumor of a drow raiding party was enough to send whole countries into a panic. Fortunately, they were too few in number to be more than a nuisance. The passages that led from the surface to a drow city were rare and difficult to reach. In Alteroth, only House Blooddrinker had regular interactions with drow. The relationship was sometimes fractious, corpses from both sides would turn up now and again, but it was also profitable enough to make Blooddrinker the second richest House.

  His mother had always wanted to negotiate a deal with the drow to break the Blooddrinker monopoly. Unfortunately, all the agents she sent wound up disappearing. Waldo had only ever seen one drow before, and poor Natorvoral hadn’t been in a very good state.

  XXX

  Years ago, in Castle Corpselover

  Waldo had been brought to one of the torture cells on the second sub level. Lying on a table was a prisoner whose arms and legs had been hacked off, the stumps burned to keep him from bleeding to death. His mother was seated at a smaller table, filleting the severed limbs to remove the bones. Those were the best ones for making wands.

  His mother spared him a quick glance. “Your healing magic has been coming along very nicely, my son. I want you to try and regrow his limbs.”

  “That’s advanced casting,” he’d answered. “I might not be able to.”

  “You are stronger than you think,” mother assured him. “And the best way to learn is by doing. Even if you fail in the first attempt you can keep practicing as long as you need. Natorvoral won’t be going anywhere.”

  Hearing his name, the helpless drow turned his face towards Waldo. His nose and both ears had been chopped off. His left eye socket was empty. The sight didn’t bother Waldo, he’d seen much worse.

  “Please… kill… me.” He rasped.

  Waldo couldn’t keep from feeling a little twinge of sympathy. Enver had torn Naria apart right in front of him just a couple of days before. He’d really liked Naria. She’d baked the best cookies. He understood why torture was necessary sometimes, but couldn’t bring himself to enjoy the suffering of others. There was nothing he could do for this person, as there’d been nothing he could do to save Naria. If he even showed any sort of discomfort mother would be disappointed in him.

  The drow’s plea had been loud enough for his mother to hear. She snorted a laugh as she wiped clean a thigh bone. “Unezifundo eziningi zokungifundisa kuqala.”

  The prisoner sobbed and turned his face away. Waldo looked over at his mother.

  “I told him he has many more lessons to teach me first.”

  Waldo nodded. He put his hands on the stump of the left leg and began to recite a regeneration spell.

  XXX

  The moment he laid eyes on the embassy he knew what it was. There was no mistaking it for anything else. To begin with, there was no illusion cast on it. Just as with his own people, the drow didn’t bother with such superficial nonsense. No, the reality was more than impressive enough. The embassy was a spire, reaching forty or fifty feet into the air and narrowing down to a point. The entire surface was covered in jagged spurs that would cut anyone stupid enough to try and climb it into pieces. There were no windows or balconies to be seen. The only opening was the main entrance. The entire building was made of obsidian, or what the mundanes liked to call black glass.

  One of the shopkeepers he’d asked for directions had told him that the drow hadn’t built their embassy. That they had used magic to create it in one day. Waldo didn’t doubt for a moment that was true. To make something like this in a single day would have required some very powerful and very advanced earth magic. This was a proper use of mana, it was a hundred times more impressive than a fake tower reaching up into false clouds being circled by imaginary eagles.

  Two female guards stood to either side of the entrance. Their skins were as black as ravens’ feathers and their eyes were a light red. They had steel helms and armor made of thin strips of metal. The taller one had an oval shield on one arm and a spear with a barbed tip. The much shorter guard had no shield, instead, a pair of sabers hung on her belt. Even from all the way across the street, Waldo could sense enchantments on every weapon and piece of armor. Unlike the royal guards whose equipment was made for show, theirs was made for killing.

  What drew Waldo’s interest was one of the sabers. It wasn’t made of enchanted steel like the other weapons or like Rabbitslayer. Instead, it glistened and shined like polished silver. He knew the metal had to be mythril, a substance lighter than iron, but harder than the strongest steel. V
eins of the ore were exceedingly rare and only found deep underground. Only the drow and dwarven races were known to have access to it. His mother had a vault filled to overflowing with gold and silver, but there was not a single ounce of mythril to be found anywhere in Alter. Even the Blooddrinkers could not acquire any, mythril was worth a thousand times its weight in gold, but neither drow nor dwarves were willing to sell it at any price. The fact a mere guard was equipped with such a precious weapon spoke of almost unimaginable wealth.

  Both guards looking directly at him, their expressions empty. Through the bond he could sense real fear from Alice. Even Belle was a bit nervous. While slightly afraid himself, Waldo was mainly excited. It would be interesting to meet drow with all their limbs and not constantly pleading for death.

  “Darling,” Alice whispered urgently. “Are you absolutely sure this is a good idea?”

  “No, but I think the odds are nine in ten we’ll survive.”

  “You think there’s a one in ten chance they’ll murder us?”

  “Don’t be a pessimist, Alice. Given their reputation, those are excellent odds. But, just in case, try not to eat or drink anything unless you see me do it first. Also, don’t let anyone stand directly behind you.” He began to cross the street.

  A worried look passed between Alice and Belle, but they were right behind him.

  When Waldo came within five yards, both drow guards casually held their weapons out. The taller one lowered her spear, so the tip was aimed at his throat. The other had both sabers in her hands and her feet spread wide.

  “What do you want?” The short one asked.

  Waldo stopped, held both hands out, palms up, and spoke in a language neither Alice nor Belle understood. “Ngicela ababukeli ne umholi wakho.”

  Both drow appeared startled. They looked at one another and whispered back and forth. As this was going on Alice hurriedly spoke in his ear. “What did you just say?”

  “I asked for a meeting with the ambassador,” Waldo whispered back.

  “Were you talking drow?”

  Waldo lifted an eyebrow. “Obviously, would you expect me to speak dwarven?”

  The taller guard entered the building. The other remained where she was. “Wait, we will see if the Exalted Lady wishes to speak with you.”

  “Ngokuqinisekile,” Waldo said.

  About a quarter of an hour later the door opened again. Four armed guards trooped out, all of them holding weapons in hand. “Come with us,” one of them said. “The Exalted Lady will meet with you.”

  Alice looked nervously at all the swords and spears. “Uh, darling…”

  “Emangalisayo,” Waldo replied and then spoke to the two of them. “Come along.” He entered the building without hesitation. Alice and Belle shared a resigned look. The tall drow with the spear remained outside, the other four escorted them in.

  XXX

  Waldo noted that the entire building did indeed appear to be made of obsidian. The floors, walls, and ceiling were all smoothly polished. As they walked through wide corridors he saw no one else. No servants or other guards crossed their path. They went at a brisk pace, two guards leading them, two trailing. He noted the one with the mythril saber was among the pair walking in front. She kept turning her head and was keeping an especially close eye on him. The guards never holstered their weapons. Waldo could sense fear verging on blind panic from Alice and worry from Belle. He could understand why. Waldo didn’t know if this would end well, but the chance to get information about a dragon was worth the risk. He needed to at least know a general area to search, otherwise, his quest would be like trying to find an honest Poisondagger.

  They were led to a pair of heavy bronze doors. Two of the guards opened them as the others herded Waldo and company inside. The four guards filed in and shut the doors. Wordlessly, they took places along the wall. The room was a massive chamber with five other doors. More interestingly, there were fruit trees and flowerbeds. Sections of the floor had been cut out and filled in with soil. There were six small trees, each had ripe fruit hanging from the branches; lemons, apples, pears, and figs. Along with the trees were a dozen beds with various combinations of flowers sprouting out of them. There was so much foliage it almost felt like walking into a garden. It was not quite what Waldo had expected from the inner sanctum of a drow fortress.

  In between the trees and flowers, was a long, polished wooden table with nine intricately carved chairs. Seated at the head of the table was a drow female. She was different from the guards in many ways. The woman wore no armor or weapons. Instead, she was in a backless pink and white dress that fit snugly and stopped well above the knees, revealing smooth, shapely legs and feet in red leather sandals. Unlike the others, her hair was not cut short enough to fit beneath a helmet but flowed freely all the way down her back. Like them, her hair and skin were as dark as starless night and her eyes tinted red as blood. Waldo thought she looked amused. He could sense quite a lot of magic from her, far more than he had from Leiznam or any of the guild mages. She was an archmage at the very least. He would not be surprised if she was a master or even a grand master. If she was the one who’d created this building in a day she had to be of master rank.

  Without prompting Waldo stepped forward and held out both hands, palms up. “Ukunibonga ukuba ngihambise ahlangane nawe oyinxusa ehloniphekile.” (Honored am I to be granted this meeting, Exalted Lady.)

  A slight smile touched her lips. “Kuyiqiniso ke, ukhuluma ngolimi lwethu.” (It is true then, you speak our language.)

  Waldo nodded. “Ngikhuluma ngezilimi eziyisikhombisa. Ngathola imfundo ngokuphelele.” (I speak seven languages. I received a thorough education.)

  “Kodwa ingabe ufunde kanjani? Engamashumi amabili kulo muzi ezake akekho umuntu oye wabuza ukufundiswa khona. Ukuthi lokhu uma bedla kuso, singazi ayifundise izinhlanga ezincane.” (But how did you learn it? In my twenty years in this city no one has ever asked to be taught it. Not that it would matter if they did, we do not teach it to the lesser races.)

  “Umasa wangifundisa.” (My mother taught me.)

  Her eyes widened. “Ingabe ethi umama wakho kuyinto? Isikhumba sakho Uphaphathekile khulu begodu.” (Are you claiming your mother is drow? Your skin is too pale and pink.)

  Waldo shook his head. “Lutho neze.” (Not at all.)

  “Kwabe U unyoko ufunde indlela lolu limi?” (Then how did your mother learn our tongue?)

  “Ibhayisikobho eyisiboshwa abahlasela uhide okungokwabo wakhe. Akabanga umfundisi omuhle kakhulu. Ngokwesibonelo, ngiyazi izindlela eziyisithupha ezahlukene ukuthi, 'sicela siyeke ngiyanincenga ngawe!'” (From a prisoner who attacked a caravan that belonged to her. He proved an excellent teacher. For instance, I know six different ways to say, 'please stop I beg of you!')

  The drow ambassador put her head back and laughed. As she did so Waldo felt more confusion from Alice and Belle. When the ambassador finally stopped laughing she put a single hand in the air and made a circular motion. Three of the guards immediately filed out of the room. The one who remained, the one with the mythril sword, took a spot a couple feet behind her leader’s seat and sheathed her swords. “What is your name, White Mage?” She spoke in the human tongue.

  “I am Master Waldo Rabbit of Avalon.”

  She remained seated and held out both hands with her palms up. “I am the Exalted Lady Valeria’Ugaru’Nostoth’Ukarasu of the great city of Ixendil’Yarrto, shining gem of the Closed World.”

  Waldo hesitated. “Could you repeat your name just once more for me, Exalted Lady?”

  She grinned and waved a hand to the chair nearest her. “The humans simply use Exalted Lady Valeria. I welcome you into my home, Master Waldo.”

  “Thank you, Exalted Lady.” Waldo sat down.

  Valeria had not shown any interest in Alice or Belle, who remained standing. “You were surprised by the trees. The humans who come here always are.”

  “I will admit, it was not what I expected.”

  “Perhaps you imagined a wa
ll of skulls? The skins of my enemies used as tapestries? Would you prefer that?”

  “Either is fine with me. As a guest, it would rude to complain about the décor.”

  Valeria chuckled and then snapped her fingers twice. A pair of human girls in white shifts entered from one of the far doors and hurriedly brought in trays and brought them over. “Will you introduce me to your servants?” She sent a slow and deliberate gaze to the two of them.

  Waldo waved them over. “Certainly, this is my wife, Alice Rabbit, and that is my bodyguard Belle of Tarsus.” Alice performed a curtsey, while Belle waved a hand. Valeria did not invite them to sit.

  One of the human girls put down a bowl filled with fresh strawberries. The other placed two goblets made of wrought gold in front of each of them. The second girl filled both with a mahogany brown liquid from a kettle. Steam rose from both cups, there was an odor that reminded Waldo of damp earth. Valeria picked hers up and took a long sip. “Mushroom tea, one of my favorite drinks. I have to have the mushrooms sent here from home, they won’t grow properly on the surface.” Waldo did not reach for his cup. “Please have some, Master Rabbit, it’s very soothing.”