The Rabbit Great And Terrible

by Chereta, Nelson

  Alice’s jaw fell, she couldn’t believe the temerity of this woman. “Let me get this straight, you’re standing there, and telling me to my face, I should step aside so that you can marry Waldo?”

  Alice noticed as Melissa’s hands began to tremble and her breathing got noticeably louder. “Do you think your love for him is so much better than mine? So much purer and true? Tell me, barmaid, if your breasts weren’t so big and round, if your skin had a few freckles or pock marks, if you were ten years older or fifty pounds heavier, do you still think he’d love you? He loves you for your body, nothing more! What do you know about magic or duty? How could you even begin to understand what Waldo might accomplish if he were just given the right opportunity? With my help, he could do amazing things!” Melissa’s entire body was beginning to shake. The woman took a deep breath and slapped her hands to her side. She stilled herself. “Forgive me. I did not mean to be rude.”

  Alice nodded. “Of course.” The calm, polite mask was rigidly back in place. But now Alice was VERY sure that it was a mask. She began to think seriously about killing her. But was there any way she could get away with it? Did anyone see her come here? Could she feed the body to Gronk?

  “I am being logical,” Melissa continued in a calm and measured voice. “If Waldo had actually been a White Mage as he pretends he never would have married you.”

  “Believe me, I know. Even if I left we would still be married. There is no divorce in my country, marriage is for life.”

  “The same is true in Avalon, very few countries permit marriages to be dissolved.”

  “Then is a man allowed to have more than one wife in your country?”

  “Don’t be disgusting, they only have harems in places like the Caliphate or Alteroth.”

  That little bit of information slid past Alice’s notice. “Then how could you marry him?”

  “Once Waldo in enrolled in the Order your marriage will simply not be recognized.”

  “So, you’ll just pretend it never happened?”

  “If my Order does not acknowledge a thing then it does not exist. You should be glad. The other solution is simpler, but you wouldn’t enjoy it. Go back to whatever tavern or whorehouse you come from and forget Waldo. Or better yet, sell yourself in one of the brothels here. With that obscene body of yours you’d be rich in a few months.”

  “I’m not a whore! I’ve been with exactly one man in my life and he is the only one I will ever be with! We love each other! Waldo loves me, not you!”

  “That doesn’t matter.” Melissa took the leather pouch tied to her belt and held it out to Alice. “Here is twenty gold guilders, a fortune, more than enough to begin a new and comfortable life anywhere in the world. Take it and go, barmaid. Believe me, it’s for your own good.”

  Alice stomped over to the door and threw it open. She was only barely able to keep her tail or fangs from appearing. “Get out!”

  Melissa gave a sad shake of her head. “Some people simply don’t appreciate kindness. Well, perhaps you do truly love him,” she walked out the door. “But then, don’t they say that all true love must end in tragedy?” Melissa left, and Alice slammed the door shut behind her.

  XXX

  About a half hour later a messenger from the queen arrived. Madis wanted to know if Alice would like to join her for a nice long bath.

  Chapter 16

  What Do You Want

  “Fool! Idiot! Incompetent! A goblin could outsmart you!” Leiznam roared.

  Fornette flinched at each shout. He’d been summoned to the guild because of the massive wager he’d collected yesterday. The guildmaster was screaming abuse at him while other members looked on scowling.

  “How could you have accepted her wager, you moronic horse dung sweeper?!”

  “But... but… master, what else was I supposed to do? We honor all bets.”

  “Don’t quote our motto back at me!” Leiznam roared. “Can you do basic math?”

  Fornette swallowed. He could guess where this was headed. “Yes, master.”

  “Then tell me, what is ten thousand times a hundred?”

  “A million,” Fornette answered in a small voice.

  “A million! And do you think we have a million gold marks to spare?!”

  “But no gaming house in Torikai has ever refused a bet, ever. When I became manager, I was specifically told to never turn down any wager, no matter how large.” He turned appealing eyes to the other mages. “I was only doing my job.”

  “You’re fired,” Leiznam said. “Get out of this hall, get out of this city, and get out of this country! Be glad I don’t have you skinned alive!”

  Leiznam knew he’d done nothing wrong, he’d done exactly what he was supposed to. But it was obvious there was nothing he could do or say. He bowed and left as quickly as he could.

  XXX

  As soon as the fool was gone Leiznam looked at Terval. “Is Varca absolutely certain the White Mage’s servant is an ogre?”

  Terval nodded. “He is, he’s spitting mad about it too. Says if it weren’t for the White Mage being there he’d have killed the beast yesterday.”

  “Assuming he could,” Verde said. “I still find it hard to believe a White Mage would use a monster, and a Great Monster at that.”

  “Is it easier or harder to believe than having him conspire with drow?” Leiznam asked.

  Verde looked disgusted. “I always knew the whites were underhanded and dangerous, but I never imagined they would stoop this low.”

  “Things to the south must be even worse than they seem,” Rodo said.

  Cavin turned and glared at Terval. “We never should have used Varca in the first place. I said it was a mistake.”

  “Well, how else were we going to rig the tournaments?” Terval shot back. “You can’t bribe people to throw a match when losing means death. I didn’t hear too many complaints over the last six years! Especially since we all got to pocket the prize money!”

  Four major tournaments were held each year in the Arena, one on the queen’s birthday, and one on each of the major holidays. The guild managed the tournaments and were responsible for covering all the bets, but it was the crown that provided the reward to the tournament champion. Since monsters were barred from competing inside the Wall, Varca could only fight with the guild’s cooperation. When Terval brought the minotaur to them they’d made a deal. Varca could keep a tenth of all the prizes he won, the guild members would split the rest. In exchange, they would daily recast an illusion on him and maintain the fiction he was just a fearsome warrior. This allowed Varca to live the life of a gladiatorial champion in the greatest city in the world, and with still more gold than most nobles. While the guild not only collected nine-tenths of the prize money but could set the odds so that almost all the bets were on the underdogs. It was an absolutely beautiful system that profited everyone involved.

  Until now.

  “Maybe Varca will still win,” Verde said hopefully. “I heard she’s been training with Restes and barely knows what she’s doing.”

  “Don’t be an idiot!” Leiznam snapped. “You really think Avalon would go this far; bargain with Valeria, bring in a disguised ogre, and give the ogre a magical sword if she weren’t deadly with it? If she’s pretending to be incompetent while training, it must all be for show. I’m sure as soon as the tournament begins she’ll suddenly remember how to use it.”

  “Why don’t we find some excuse and disqualify her?” Rodo suggested.

  “You mean after Waldo swore an oath in court and the queen publicly declared his servant could fight?” Cavin shook his head. “That would put us in direct opposition with the queen, we can’t do that.”

  “He even got the queen to summon him to court and give him a royal audience without asking,” Galen said. “He openly insulted Garibaldi, without upsetting the queen, and got her to accept his plotting with Valeria. Have you ever heard of a White Mage who could manipulate things so easily?”

  Leiznam nodded. “He
’s clever, that one. He plays the fool but then pulls strings without anyone even noticing. He must be one of the best agents Avalon has.”

  “And his so-called wife is now seducing the queen,” Verde said. “Shameless! Utterly shameless!”

  Terval snorted in disgust. “Like that’s hard to do!”

  “Do you think she’s really his wife?” Verde wondered.

  “Of course not,” Terval said. “They obviously just recruited the most beautiful woman they could find and brought her here to bring Madis to their side. Would you do that to your actual wife?”

  “Seven hells, yes! You’ve met Sheila. I’d give her to Varca if it meant I had a few days without nagging!”

  “Wouldn’t work,” Rodo said with a smirk. “She scares even him.”

  That made everyone but Leiznam laugh. “This isn’t a time for jokes,” Leiznam reminded them. “We’re facing a real disaster. If the ogre wins that means we owe Valeria a million gold marks or two billion copper marks! If we emptied our vaults, sold every building we own, sold every contract, and every piece of property we still couldn’t raise a third of that. Valeria will take everything and all of us will be debt servants for the rest of our days.”

  “If we must, we could borrow the money from the crown,” Galen suggested.

  “How is that any better?” Leiznam asked. “We’d just be the property of Madis instead of Valeria.”

  “Would you rather belong to the queen or to the drow?”

  “Neither! I’d rather be rich and powerful and see my guild rich and powerful!” Leiznam said. “We need to find an answer.”

  “We could just dispel the illusion and let everyone see the white brought an ogre,” Verde said. “I know it breaks our law, but we can say we did it to protect the citizens from a Great Monster.”

  “Wonderful solution,” Cavin said with a sneer. “And what happens when the whites do the same with Varca? Not only will everyone know we’ve had a Great Monster here for six years, but every single person who placed a bet on anyone else in any of the tournaments will say they were cheated.”

  “We’ll have broken thousands of contracts,” Rodo said. “That will destroy the guild as much as failing to pay off the bet to Valeria would.”

  Looking embarrassed Verde nodded and lowered his head.

  “We have to find a solution that doesn’t involve breaking any contracts,” Leiznam said.

  “Why are we dancing around this?” Cavin asked. “There’s obviously only one solution and we all know it. We have to kill the ogre.”

  “You volunteering?” Rodo asked. “Killing an ogre is dangerous, and none of us are combat mages.”

  “When we need people killed when do we ever do it ourselves?” Cavin answered. “If you have the gold you can always find someone to do the dirty work for you.”

  “White Mages are even deadlier than Great Monsters,” Rodo said. He looked around the room. “Do we really want to make an enemy of one?”

  “They’re already the enemy!” Cavin said. “They’re the ones attacking us!”

  “We’re not going to touch either Rabbit or Cornwall,” Leiznam said. “But how much offense can Avalon take if something happens to a servant of one of their members? Especially since there won’t be any direct connection between us and whoever does it.”

  “But it’s still dangerous,” Verde said.

  “What would you like us to do instead?” Leiznam demanded. “Do nothing and let the ogre fight? Risk losing everything?”

  “Couldn’t we at least try and come to some sort of arrangement first?” Verde asked.

  “Bribe him?” Cavin asked with disbelief. “It won’t work, whites are fanatics.”

  “Can we at least try?” Verde asked. “What is there to lose?”

  Leiznam frowned, but nodded. “There’s no harm in at least making the offer. Given what we already know, it’s not as if he can accuse us of anything. The worst he can do is say no, and then we’re just back to killing his pet.”

  XXX

  Waldo was alone in the room the queen had provided him and Alice. Belle had left to train with Restes before the horrible ball of fire was in the sky. A young woman named Phiaa, who was dressed as a maid and had a great ass, had invited Alice to join the queen once again. Alice had been more than reluctant to agree. Waldo had needed to remind her that given their situation they really could not afford to offend Queen Madis. That a favor from her might potentially make the difference between life and death. When that hadn’t convinced her, he’d told her they could do the slave master and the new slave girl tonight. He even promised to be especially rough with her. Alice had gone with Phiaa and he’d been left on his own. The sacrifices I make to take care of everyone, Waldo thought.

  During their journeys, Alice had gotten almost no chance to spend time with other women. He’d expected her to be thrilled to get to enjoy the company of an actual queen. Even one who was ‘blessed by the gods with youth and beauty.’ But all through the day yesterday, he’d sensed her discomfort and nervousness. Late in the afternoon, the queen had done something to fill Alice with absolute fury and a good deal of fear. Waldo had asked about it, but Alice had refused to tell him what had happened. She had however delivered one swift kick to his ass and told him he deserved it.

  When he and Belle had told her about Varca, she’d been adamant they leave the city and get as far away as they could. The fact she was ready to just write off all the gold they’d invested proved how serious she was. Surprisingly, it had been Belle who’d immediately rejected the idea.

  “You think I’m going to run away from one stupid minotaur?” Belle had said with a violent shake of her head. “Like any ogre would be afraid of a cow!”

  “But he’s a Great Monster too,” Alice had argued. “And he’s been here for years, so he must have a lot more experience.”

  “Doesn’t matter, sweetie. I’m not running away from some big old cow. If they heard, all the other ogres would make fun of me. Besides, I can’t let down master.”

  “Thank you, Belle,” Waldo had said. “When this is all over I promise to give you a good beating.”

  “Really, master?!!” Belle clasped her hands together and jumped up and down, making the floor shake.

  Waldo had nodded, and Alice had groaned.

  XXX

  So, Waldo was free to do as he pleased today. Through the bond, he could sense boredom from Belle and a tremendous amount of embarrassment from Alice. Why was Alice always feeling embarrassed when she was in the queen’s company? Was it because her looks were genuine while the queen’s weren’t? He wished she would learn to be less self-conscious and just accept the fact she was attractive.

  Since he had nothing better to do, Waldo thought he would wander the Great Market and see if anything interesting caught his eye. The Gold City also had an herbal shop that catered to the local guild and visiting mages. He could finally stock up on mandrake, devil grass, and other potion ingredients.

  As he prepared to leave he sensed a mage approaching his door. Waldo paused and waited for the inevitable knock on his door. What he got, was the door swinging open, a White Mage stepping inside, and immediately slamming it shut.

  “You are coming with me today,” Melissa said the instant the door was closed. She seemed to completely ignore the wand pointed at her.

  Waldo skittered back a couple steps. “What do you want?”

  “What do I want?” She repeated with a furious shake of her head. “To begin with I would like you to stop embarrassing my Order! I know you hate me and the Order of Mist, and you seem to make a sport of mocking us. But you have taken things too far, beyond too far. Do you understand what you’ve done?” Waldo opened his mouth. Melissa continued. “You openly met with the drow, you allowed your false servant to participate it the vile blood sport they practice here, you freely confirmed these actions in front of Madis and nine other sovereigns, and if all that were not enough you declared that my order seeks to rule the world!”
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  “Well, you have to admit at least that part is true.” Even though he was the one with the wand, Waldo felt very threatened. He considered summoning his familiars back to his side. He could do that with just one word. The problem was that it would reveal their nature to everyone. Humans could not summon one another.

  Melissa was glaring at him. “Is that another joke?! Is all this just one huge joke? Do you want to die, Waldo? Is that it. If you prefer a grave to a long and meaningful life tell me so!”

  “Ah… you do see I’m the one with the wand? Shouldn’t I be the one asking if you want to die?”