Bonds of Denial (Wicked Play #5)

by Lynda Aicher

  “No way.” Rock stretched behind Carter, trying to grab the plate, but his reach wasn’t long enough. “I brought enough for both of us.” He swatted at Carter’s arm before changing tactics. He wrapped his arm around Carter and pulled him into his chest as he nuzzled a kiss into the crook of Carter’s neck.

  “Hey.” Carter chuckled and tried to squirm away, but Rock’s hold was too strong. It was only a second before he gave up and laid back into the firm chest. He leaned his head on Rock’s shoulder and looked up as he lifted a cookie. “Fine. Here.”

  Rock was still holding the glass of milk with one hand and his other was wrapped around Carter, so he opened his mouth and waited. Carter didn’t even hesitate to place a bite of the cookie in the man’s mouth. If someone had told him that he’d be in bed feeding chocolate chip cookies to the stoic man who could barely meet his eyes the first time they’d met, he’d have called the person a liar. But here he was.

  “Do you do this for all of your dates?” Carter asked as he settled into the warmth that was pressed against his back.

  “I’ve never had another date in my bed.”

  It took every bit of his control not to react to Rock’s open statement. He knew the man had only recently admitted to being gay, but there had to have been somebody he’d dated before. Carter grabbed another cookie off the plate and lifted it to Rock. “Not even a girl?”

  Rock took a big bite then shook his head.

  “No? Then I feel special.”

  “You are special,” Rock said before Carter felt the press of a kiss on his hair. Well, damn. There was no way to fight the swell of emotion that tightened his throat, but he couldn’t make it out to be more than it was. Escorts weren’t special. But this—right here—was.

  Carter took a bite of the cookie, since there was no way he could respond, and gazed around the room as a way of distracting himself. The furniture had the same bold, straight lines as the rest of his loft. The dark wood looked rich against the deep-green paint on the interior walls. The two dressers were both void of clutter. Not even a small bowl of change or a random item sat on top. There was one picture in a silver frame and a lamp. That was it.

  There were no clothes tossed on the chair in the corner or a shoes lying around to stumble over. The man was meticulously clean, which wasn’t bad, but it made Carter wonder how often Rock let himself relax.

  They finished the plate of cookies and shared the milk in comfortable silence. The lethargy that sucked the energy from him usually didn’t hit until he got home. It was just too damn easy to lay there in Rock’s arms and pretend that it was just them. That none of the outside world existed to pass judgment or throw stones at his choices.

  Rock shifted him forward. The chill hit his back to remind him this wasn’t permanent. He handed the empty plate to Rock as the man stood. He was halfway to the bedroom door before Carter found the strength to ask, “Do you want me to leave?”

  Rock turned around and studied Carter. “Only if you want to.”

  They were dancing around each other again, trying to define where they were headed. He took another leap and gave Rock a smile. “I don’t want to.”

  Rock gave a sharp nod, his frown easing. “Good. I’ll be right back.” He left the room, his steps soundless on the hardwood as he disappeared down the hallway.

  Carter made another quick trip to the bathroom before climbing into the large bed. He was adjusting the pillows and covers when the lights clicked off in the outer room. The soft glow of streetlights through the thin drapes allowed enough light into the room to see the outline of Rock as he entered.

  After a detour to the bathroom, he crawled in beside Carter. He didn’t even pause before he wrapped an arm and leg around Carter and rested his head on Carter’s chest like it was something they did every night.

  “Do you mind?” The low hesitancy in Rock’s voice was mixed with a wisp of something that bordered on uncertainty.

  Carter hugged him closer and let out a slow breath as warmth and a pure sense of belonging soaked through him. “Not at all,” he said softly, half-afraid he’d scare the man away. Snuggling was a novelty he rarely wanted or enjoyed. Being held simply to be held was something people failed to appreciate when they got it all the time. For him, it was a rare treat.

  “Thank you.”

  The whispered gratitude reached Carter as he was drifting to sleep. “For what?” He rubbed Rock’s back, cherishing the heat and feel of the man beside him.

  Enough time passed that he thought Rock wasn’t going to answer when his response was finally mumbled. “For holding me.”

  Oh, God. Carter got that. There was nothing else Rock could’ve said that would’ve nailed him in the heart like those words did. Here was another man who knew the loneliness that came with hiding a part of himself from the world. Rock understood.

  Carter turned to his side so he could wrap a leg around Rock and hug him tight. “Any time,” he said into the short bristle of hair on the top of Rock’s head. “Any time.” And he meant it. He was starting to think there was nothing he could deny this man.

  As the light exhale of Rock’s breath evened out and his chest fell into a steady rhythm, Carter stayed awake as long as he could, filing away the elusive sense of worth and love that had been absent from his life for so long. There was a desperation within him to remember it for that time in the future when it would be gone.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Waking up to the warm press of a body against his wasn’t something Rock was used to. His eyes flew open the second his mind logged the anomaly. Who the fuck is in my bed? The deep, rumbled protest at Rock’s tensing jerk was accompanied by the musky scent of sex, sweat and man. That fast, the memory of last night flared to life.

  Carter—he was in his bed with Carter.

  He relaxed instantly, sagging into the mattress with a long exhale. Carter gave another incoherent mumble and rolled away, his back to Rock. The loss of warmth and connection reopened the hollow ache in his heart that had been filled last night. He wasn’t ready to go back to that emptiness. Not yet.

  As easy as that, he rolled over to spoon behind Carter. Everything within him constricted when he came into contact with the warm length of man, muscle and heat. Gone was the sense of loss. In its place was the rightness he’d found last night. It was still there, shoving out the morning-after doubts that would turn their night into something seedy and wrong. It wasn’t wrong.

  They weren’t wrong.

  He pulled Carter back until there wasn’t a bit of space between them. He slid his leg between Carter’s with only a nudge and his morning wood found a warm spot riding the underside of Carter’s ass. They fit together perfectly. Hard body to hard body.

  There was no way he could resist rubbing his nose into the crook of the man’s neck, his deep inhale flooding him with everything that was Carter. Sophisticated, strong, compassionate. He chuckled to himself. He really was becoming a poetic sap to go with the damn blushing he’d been doing lately. It was a good thing his family was in Georgia or he’d be disowned for being a pansy, and that had nothing to do with being gay.

  But they weren’t here and Carter was.

  The contours of Carter’s chest rippled smooth and defined under his palm where he stroked it. How in the hell had he waited so long to experience this? Touching a man, rubbing against him, skin touching skin in a way that was carnal and comforting? There was no way he could go back to the denial and pretending he’d forced on himself until now.

  He wanted Carter. What was the chance he would want to see Rock again?

  He grazed his beard-stubbled cheek over the rounded curve of Carter’s shoulder. The man hunched up, a quick shiver passing down his body as he mumbled an objection to Rock’s teasing. He stifled his chuckle, placing kisses over the faint blush left behind from his whisker-rub and wrapped his hand around Carter’s morning erection.

  The moan that eased out of Carter carried a note of mixed desire and annoyance. His hips
rolled forward, the motion thrusting his dick through Rock’s fist. The move was decadent and sensual. Natural in a way that had Rock’s desire kicking into high gear and his hips moving with Carter’s.

  Another muffled sound broke through the air before Carter stretched his neck and rolled his hips again. “God, that feels good,” he said, his voice rough and throaty from sleep.

  “Morning,” Rock murmured against his shoulder. He stroked his thumb over the head of Carter’s dick, running lazy circles around the rim and over the slit. There was no rush to get off, no race to reach the end. It didn’t even matter if he came. That wasn’t important. Right now, he was just feeling, waking his lover up with a slow rise of awareness.

  “Is it?”

  “Yup.” Rock continued his track of kisses up Carter’s neck. “The sun’s even out.”

  Carter dropped his hand back to grab Rock’s ass and hold him tight as he kept up the slow, suggestive roll of his hips. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Nope,” Rock agreed. “Unless you have to be somewhere.” He swiveled his hips and bit down on Carter’s shoulder, the tip of his erection sliding over the underside of Carter’s ass.

  Carter sucked in a breath, his hand clenching tighter around Rock’s ass. “My schedule’s clear.”

  That was the best thing he’d heard in months. “Good.”

  He released his hold to slide his hand over Carter’s chest and nipples. He hadn’t gotten to play with them last night. He pinched one then the other, scratching his nails over the tips until they were both hard and sensitive.

  Carter’s breath hitched, his chest jerking. He rocked his pelvis, riding the length of Rock’s erection from tip to base in a slow undulation that tore a tortured groan from Rock’s chest.

  “Can you reach the lube?”

  Rock didn’t want to move, but the mention of lube had his mind jumping ahead to all the possibilities. He moved away only far enough to grab the bottle off the nightstand and turn back.

  Carter rolled over and held out his hand. “Here.”

  Rock stalled for a moment, taking in the angles of Carter’s face that were softened now by the ruffled mess of his hair. Only the faintest hint of a beard showed around his mouth, leaving his cheeks noticeably smooth. Those blue eyes watched him, lazy with desire and something that Rock wanted to interpret as tenderness, so he did.

  Carter cracked a smile and leaned in to kiss him lightly on the lips. He snatched the lube and quickly squirted some into his palm before tossing the bottle aside. “Come here.”

  Rock shook off his mental stall and scooted closer. His sigh was more of a long purr of satisfaction when Carter fisted his erection. The slick slide of the lube wasn’t new, but having someone else rubbing it over his cock was fantastic.

  He yanked Carter in and kissed him fully, morning breath and all. Thankfully Carter didn’t resist. The kiss was slow and languid, just like the morning. He took his time exploring Carter’s mouth, rediscovering every nuance he’d uncovered last night. The bristly scratch of their beards rubbing together couldn’t have been more right.

  Carter wrapped his hand around both of their cocks and squeezed his palm over the heads. A shot of intense pleasure raced to Rock’s balls and had him breaking the kiss to hiss in a breath through his clenched teeth.

  He added his grip to Carter’s and together they worked their cocks in long pulls that drew the sensation out and let the passion build in a gradual incline of touches mixed with kisses. It was the casual approach instead of the frantic rush that made it memorable in a whole different way.

  “This feels so good,” Carter mumbled into his cheek where he was rubbing his chin over Rock’s beard. “I don’t want to come.”

  “I know.”

  The slick stroke of their fists permeated the room with an increasing beat. As much as Rock wanted to slow down, his body wasn’t in agreement. His hips were pumping without his consent, each thrust driving him closer to the edge.

  “Come for me, Rock.” The words were whispered directly into his ear and tripped the last hold he had. “I want to watch you.”

  That did it. A few more tugs, and he came in a rush of heat, grunts and gasps. He arched into the release as his come covered their hands and stomachs.

  “Fuck, that’s hot,” Carter rasped before he let go, his release joining Rock’s between them.

  Rock forced his eyes open to catch the wash of emotion that ran across Carter’s face. Pleasure, awe and finally contentment—exactly what Rock felt.

  They lay there, catching their breaths for a bit before Rock leaned in to finish the moment with another long, slow kiss. He lifted his hand to grip Carter’s hair but was halted by a tight hold on his wrist.

  Carter pulled back. “Don’t you dare rub that spunk in my hair.” His gaze shot to Rock’s hand, which was definitely covered with a mix of lube and come.

  Rock laughed and made a play at reaching for Carter’s hair before the man rolled to the other side of the bed, chuckling as he got out.

  “Not a chance, mister.” Carter strutted around the end of the bed without a hint of shyness over his nudity. He pointed at the bathroom with his clean hand. “You joining me?” He didn’t wait for an answer, just continued on with no hurry while Rock laid back and enjoyed the view. It was a sight he’d never get tired of.

  He stared at the ceiling as the splash of the shower filtered into the room. This was the best morning he could remember having. A grin broke across his face in a full display of happiness. The years of blocking his true self had dulled more than just his desire. It’d also managed to suck a lot of joy from his life.

  Not anymore.

  He launched out of bed. There was no way he was passing up a hot, soaped-up Carter in his shower. Another first he planned on enjoying to its fullest. Besides, it was way past time he tested the depth of his hot water tank, and there was no other man he’d rather test it out with.

  * * *

  Carter popped the last piece of banana into his mouth and studied Rock across the bar. His back was turned as he finished wiping down the counter. The muscles on his shoulders and back moved beneath the black thermal and Carter could almost feel them rippling under his hands like they had in the shower.

  They’d taken a sinfully long shower full of slow touches, caresses and gentle exploration that’d left not an inch of their bodies undiscovered. If it wasn’t for the waning hot water, they might still be in there. The fact that he mourned the shortness of hot water was too telling. He ran a hand through his damp hair and pulled his thoughts back to the present.

  “What are your plans for the day?” Carter wasn’t sure if his question was crossing some line, but he was genuinely interested. It wasn’t his usual conversation filler. But then, none of this was his usual. Not waking up with a man or sharing a shower or breakfast or the wanting to know any details about the man he’d slept with.

  Fucked wasn’t the right term for what they’d done last night…and this morning. He fucked his clients. This, with Rock, was something better. Something that had him resenting his next appointment. The thought of going back to his job brought a sourness to his mouth that had him longing for a mint.

  Rock shrugged and folded the cloth before laying it across the center rise separating the double sinks. “Not much.” He refilled his coffee cup and came over to stand on the other side of the bar. “I have some work to do here then I have to be into the club by six. Why?”

  “Just curious.” He frowned as he tried to remember if Rock had ever told him where he worked. “What club do you work at?”

  “Just one of the ones downtown,” he said vaguely before he heaved a sigh and set his cup down. He gripped the edge of the bar, and the sudden stiffness in his stance had Carter sitting up. “I work in the security room at The Den.”

  The Den. Understanding slowly sank in. The personal request for him, the refusal to use a different escort now made sense. “That’s how you found me.” An unease settled into
him that wasn’t quite wrong but not right either.

  Rock gave a nod. “I run all the background checks and monitor the security screens.”

  That answered the discovery question. “So you know Tyler, too.”

  “Yeah.” He glanced down for a moment. “He’s a good friend.” He scratched the back of his neck and rolled his shoulders. “He, ah…He said you helped him and that I could trust you.”

  Carter cracked a smile. “I guess I need to thank him then.” He narrowed his eyes, another realization dawning. “He knows about us? You?”

  “Yeah.” Rock cleared his throat. “It all came out when you asked to meet for breakfast.”

  That was just over a week ago, but it seemed like longer. The final puzzle piece fell into place as he thought back through the time line. “You called the agency and arranged our second date the day after I was at the club.”

  Rock had lifted his cup but stopped with it halfway to his mouth and slowly set it back down. “I couldn’t watch you with that guy. That’s when I knew I had to see you again.”

  “Watch me?” It was one thing to know that the club was monitored. It was something different to know that the guy he was with had watched him with a client.

  Rock shifted on his feet, his discomfort almost tangible. “I’ve monitored the security screens since the club opened. I’ve witnessed more people in sexual acts than I ever cared to. And none of them ever affected me until you walked into the club.”

  “I’ve been going to The Den for over a year.”

  “I know.”

  Carter sat back, trying to process the new information. He crossed his arms over his chest, the move a blend of protection and defense. There was something flattering about Rock’s admission, yet it brought his profession to the forefront once again. Was he making more of this—them—than he should? “So why now? What finally motivated you to book an appointment with me?”

  This time Rock held his gaze without flinching. “I can dig up information on anyone. Dates, records, history—if it’s electronic, I can get it. But data’s flat. It’s not personal. Your friendship with Tyler validated the information I had.”