Spring

by Viola Rivard

  It occurred to Taylor then, the reason she’d developed a friendship with Holly. She was one of the most human people in the pack. When the two of them talked, Taylor sometimes forgot that she was talking to a fox shifter.

  “Why’d you come back?”

  Holly rolled her shoulders. “I used to come back every year to check on my mom. Bring her chocolate, magazines, and shit. Things to remind her of the outside world.”

  “But your mom was human, right? Why didn’t she just go back?”

  “She didn’t want to leave my dad. He’s buried out here. Under your cabin actually, right around where your bed is.”

  Taylor’s stomach gave an ominous lurch, but then she saw the twinkle of mischief in Holly’s eyes.

  “Screw you,” Taylor said, giving Holly’s shoulder a smack.

  Laughing, the fox said, “Actually, he’s buried out in Mistwood. Mom didn’t want him in the backyard. She thought she’d be too sad, seeing his grave every day.”

  “They were really close, then?”

  Holly nodded.

  They walked in silence for another moment, and then Holly gave Taylor a verbal punch to the gut.

  “I didn’t just come back for my mom. That’s what I said, but really, I came back for Alder.”

  Taylor swallowed. “You liked him?”

  “It was more than that,” Holly said, keeping her eyes straight ahead. “We had a thing. Don’t ask me to elaborate. It’ll only upset you.”

  “Okay.”

  Taylor wasn’t sure what more she could say. She knew many of the females Hale had slept with before she’d become his mate, but had always wondered about Alder’s past. He’d never spoken of whom he’d been intimate with, and no one had ever come forward to try to assert herself over Taylor. Still, if she’d had to guess, Holly would have been the last person she would have assumed to be his type.

  “I always knew he’d take a mate,” Holly said. “He made it pretty clear that he wanted pups one day. His biggest regret was that he hadn’t been a father to Snow. By the time he was old enough to start taking care of her, she’d already bonded with Sarah and Cain. So, knowing all that, I told him that what was between us… I told him that it wasn’t significant to me, and that I wouldn’t care when he took a mate.”

  Her face never changed, but something in Holly’s tone told Taylor that this had been a lie.

  “Anyway, don’t worry. I’m over it. I guess this is my way of telling you that I know him pretty well. Maybe better than you, because with you he always needs to be strong. I know that’s he’s beating himself up right now, for what he did to you. I know that he’s afraid, having Shan here in the valley, because he isn’t used to having any competition outside of Hale. I know that the reason he’s so protective of you is that he’s already lost one mate. Her death wrecked him for years, and he didn’t even love her as much as he loves you. You may not have known about his sad backstory when you decided to shack up with him, but you have to accept that it’s a big part of who he is. He’s not going to take any chances with you. If you died, it would kill him.”

  As Holly spoke, they’d come to a stop in a birch grove near the lake. Taylor was openly crying and making only half-hearted attempts to wipe the tears from her face. She leaned back against a tree, and then slid down to sit.

  “Sorry, I’m just really tired,” she said through sniffles.

  Holly sat down beside her and crossed her legs. “Yeah, well, you know how you get when you’re pregnant. You need to take it easy.”

  “I know,” Taylor said, rubbing her eyes. “Hey, since you’re apparently an expert on Alder, what are we going to do about Silas? Alder hates him, and I don’t blame him after what happened with Snow, but he’s our neighbor.”

  “Ah, that’s easy. Silas needs a mate.”

  Taylor looked up at her. “A mate? How’s that going to fix anything?”

  “Well, for starters, the main reason wolves don’t like other alphas near their territories is that they think they’re a threat to their mate.”

  “Wait, you’re saying Alder thinks Silas is going to try to take me from him?”

  Holly shrugged. “Not on a conscious level, well maybe, after what happened to Snow. But usually it’s more of an instinctive thing. Like a nagging feeling that having Silas near you is very bad. It’s kind of like when someone throws a ball and I really want to chase it. There’s no control, it just happens and I have to deal with it.

  “Anyway, back to the point. If Silas takes a mate, it’ll cool Alder and Hale’s instincts to drive him away. It will also mean that there will be another human in the valley. You’re going to want to be friends with her and the packs will have to get together. You’ll both have little pups that want to play together, and when they get older, they’re going to want to, well, you know.”

  Taylor narrowed her eyes. “Are you talking about my kids having sex?”

  “It’s going to happen, you know. And better they explore their bodies with the neighbors than—”

  Taylor slapped Holly’s knee. “Oh my God, shut up.”

  “Fine, fine. What I’m saying is, there are a lot of benefits to Silas taking a mate. It could be a great way to bridge the divide between the packs.”

  Taylor nodded as she considered Holly’s words. The idea of having another human in the valley was immensely pleasing. When writing to Sarah, she often tried sharing her human woes, but they didn’t seem to compute with the older woman. Living in a family pack without dozens of adults that could fill various roles, Sarah was a vital part of her pack’s dynamic and its most treasured member. She couldn’t exactly relate to Taylor’s griping about being excluded all of the time.

  “That’s it!” Taylor said, snapping her fingers. “Sarah. When I went to her pack this past winter, she mentioned to me that she sometimes connects human women with alphas that are wanting a mate. Maybe she can find someone for Silas.”

  “Actually, that’s a pretty good idea,” Holly said.

  “Yeah, but I doubt I’ll be able to write to her anytime soon. Fenix just got back from a trip. There’s no way he’s going to fly out again until next month.”

  Holly tapped the side of her face. “Well, it’s not exactly urgent, but we should get the ball rolling. The sooner Silas has a mate, the sooner we can stop enduring awkward stand-offs between him and Alder. If you write the note, I’ll get Fenix to send it. He could probably fly out tonight, if one of your mates okays it.”

  “Fenix would really do that for you?”

  “He owes me a favor.”

  “What kind?” Holly gave her a telling look, and Taylor’s eyes widened. “A sexual one? I thought you liked Glenn.”

  “Don’t judge me, Miss—“ Holly affected a high pitched, cooing voice, “—Oh, Shan, I’m so excited to see you. I have something that might interest you.”

  Taylor pulled up a clump of dirt and tossed it at her. Holly didn’t bother trying to dodge.

  “You’re one to talk. You practically begged to come with us today. Don’t tell me that’s because you suddenly have an interest in inter-pack politics.”

  “Fine, I want to fuck him. So, what?”

  “The man is a giant,” Taylor said. “I don’t think it’s physically possible for the two of you to achieve penetration.”

  Holly wagged her brows. “Probably not, but I wouldn’t mind letting him try.”

  The fox shifter extended her hand, offering Taylor an arm up. She accepted, but was still unsteady on her feet.

  “You want to hold my arm?” Holly asked. The offer seemed genuine, but Taylor brushed her away.

  “I’m good, thanks. I just need to get home and eat something.”

  Holly asked, “When are you going to tell your mates about the pup?”

  “When I’m sure that there is one.”

  “You’re really in denial about this, aren’t you?”

  Taylor didn’t answer. By now, she had little doubt that she was pregnant, she just didn’t
know how to deal with the news. For now, she could keep it compartmentalized, but once her mates found out, her pregnancy would begin consuming her life.

  Chapter Seven

  Neither of Taylor’s mates were at the cabin when Taylor arrived. Shadow had been left in charge of the napping pups, though Glenn was nearby watching over the area. According to Shadow’s report, Hale had left shortly after Taylor and Alder had, saying that he was going for a run.

  Lark arrived just before Taylor began cleaning, carrying a heaping armful of dirty furs from the den and asking for help laundering them. As was often the case, she was oblivious to the level of her voice, and she’d scarcely taken two steps into the cabin before the pups were awake and running around the cabin, knocking things over.

  Holly stepped in, doing what Taylor didn’t have the energy for. She ordered Lark to take the furs to the lake and wash them, and to take the pups with her. Never one to trust Lark with sole responsibility of her children, Taylor chimed in that Glenn needed to go as well. It was the last thing she did before collapsing into her rocking chair, completely wiped out.

  While the little ones were happy to go outside, Shadow remained in the cabin. In his wolf form, which was starting to become too large for the cabin, he paced around Taylor’s chair, and then sat in front of her, putting his head in her lap.

  “You don’t want to go outside to swim?” She asked, rubbing behind his ears. “You know it makes me feel better, knowing that you’re out there with the pups.”

  Shadow nuzzled her thigh. With his head filling her lap, she was struck for the thousandth time by how quickly he was growing. Some days, it felt as though she couldn’t have possibly made him, and that there was no way he was the same little creature that had once fit in the crook of her arm.

  After a moment of resting his head, Shadow shifted and climbed up into her lap. Here, too, he was getting too big for her, but she didn’t complain. She grabbed the deerskin from the back of the chair and wrapped it around him, cuddling him close. As she rocked him back and forth, she was lulled by the squeaking of the chair and the soft clinking sounds from Holly washing the dishes.

  “Are you sick?” Shadow asked.

  Taylor stroked his hair. “No. I’m just tired.”

  She opened her eyes to find her son scrutinizing her, his brow creasing just like Hale’s did when he didn’t believe her. And just like Hale, Shadow had a knack for seeing through her bullshit.

  Taylor leaned down and kissed the crease. “Can I tell you a secret?”

  Eyes widening, Shadow hopped one step ahead of her. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

  Grinning, she said, “Well, you’ll be able to tell people soon enough, but for now, it has to stay between you, me, and Aunt Holly, got it?”

  He nodded vigorously.

  After wetting her lips, Taylor said, “Later this year, you might have a new little brother or sister.”

  His eyes lit with intrigue. “Will we go get him like Henry, or will he be brought here like Belle was? And can he be a boy?”

  “What’s wrong with having a sister?” Taylor asked, laughing and tussling his hair.

  “Nothing, I just don’t want there to be more girls than boys.”

  “Well, I’m sorry to say so, but we don’t get to pick. This time we’re not going anywhere and the pup won’t be brought to us.” She took his hand and placed it to her belly. “It’s in there, growing. Just like you and Fawn did.”

  Shadow chewed his lip, seeming to contemplate the new information, and then bent down to put an ear to her belly.

  “Really?” He asked. “I don’t hear anything.”

  “Right now, it’s really, really tiny. But over the next few months, it’ll get bigger and bigger. And in a few weeks, I’ll bet you’ll even be able to hear its heartbeat.”

  Shadow lifted his head and gave her a quizzical look. “How did it get in there?”

  The question didn’t catch her off guard. She’d known he would ask it.

  Patting his head, she said, “That is something that your fathers should explain to you.”

  From her place in the kitchen, Holly snorted.

  Smiling, Taylor went on, “Just don’t ask them yet, okay? This is going to be our secret for another day or two.”

  Her son nodded. “How long until the pup will be here?”

  Taylor shrugged. “I’m not exactly sure. Eight or nine months. No less than that.”

  She hoped.

  Taylor couldn’t block out the sudden memory of the night that the twins were born. In spite of the pain and the unrelenting urge to push, she hadn’t believed that her babies were actually coming until Shadow had slid from her body. They were so incredibly small, and Taylor had been certain that they wouldn’t survive.

  Her stomach lurched at the memory, and she had to swallow back the rising bile.

  “Holly,” she breathed. “Can you get me some of that mint?”

  Holly was quick to oblige.

  “Are you okay?” Shadow asked.

  Taylor said, “I’m fine. This is just part of growing a pup. Sometimes I might be a little sick.”

  Or, if it was anything like the last time, she might as well go find a hole to hibernate in for the next five months, because she was going to be completely useless.

  Eyeing her belly, Shadow asked, “How is the pup going to get out of there?”

  Thankfully, Holly came to the rescue. “Through her bellybutton, kid. Now, stop asking so many questions.”

  Shadow folded his arms across his chest. “Questions are how I learn, Holly.”

  “That’s Aunt Holly to you,” she said, thumping him on the head.

  She passed the mint to Taylor. Taylor sniffed it, and then set it aside on the table, her nausea having subsided.

  “Technically, you’re not my aunt,” Shadow said matter-of-factly. “I looked it up. An aunt is a mother’s sister. You and my mother are not sisters. You’re not even related.”

  Taylor gaped at him. “Looked it up? Like in the dictionary?”

  She looked to the bookshelf, which was divided into two levels. The bottom was crammed with children’s books that she’d inherited from Sarah, while the top half—which was now well within Shadow’s reach—was filled with reference materials and a few well-worn fiction novels.

  Over the winter, she’d practiced reading with Shadow. As with everything, reading had come very easily to him, and for the first week he’d seemed intensely interested in it and would even talk over Taylor as she tried to read to him. Then, all of the sudden, it was like he’d forgotten everything and couldn’t remember more than the most basic words. After a few, frustrating nights, she’d decided to stop pressuring him and that she would try teaching him again when he turned three.

  “Shadow, have you been reading?” Taylor asked.

  She could see her son withdrawing before her eyes, and she worked quickly to keep him present. Running a hand down his back and stroking the side of his face, she made him keep his focus on her.

  “Tell me,” she said. “I was honest with you today. I gave you my biggest secret. Now, you have to give me yours.”

  Shadow lifted his shoulders. “I like reading. I do it a lot, when you’re sleeping.”

  She cupped his face. “Why hide it? We should be reading together.”

  “Sometimes, when things are easy for me, it makes you sad.”

  Taylor felt a lump form in her throat. “What do you mean, baby?”

  Shadow explained, “I liked reading with you. But when I got good at it, you seemed sad. And then, one night, I heard you crying about it to Alder.”

  Taylor put a hand to her face. “Oh, God.”

  She remembered now. It had been the night that she had decided to try a more advanced book with him. Her intent had been to read it to him, but when he’d begun to read it himself, she’d become overwhelmed. Taylor had remembered the first time she’d read that book. It had been in the sixth grade. That had been the night that sh
e’d realized that her son was more than just a boy who was growing too fast. He was smart. Very, frighteningly intelligent, and all she could think was that he was wasted in the valley.

  Had he been born human and with his intelligence, he would have been labeled a prodigy. What else might he be good at? Math? Science? An instrument? Sports, certainly. Taylor could see infinite possibilities for him, and every single one of them was beyond his reach because of what he was.

  There was no way she could explain any of this to him. All Taylor could do was press her forehead to his, try not to cry, and say, “I’m so sorry. When you’re older, you’ll understand. For now, just know that I love you and I really, really want to hear you read.”

  Shadow rubbed his nose against hers. “Right now?”

  “Probably not a good time,” Holly said. She was standing by the window, her arms folded under her breasts. “Looks like one of your dads is on his way back.”

  Taylor tensed in preparation to see Alder again, but a moment later it was Hale who walked through the door. He must have taken a dip in the river, because his hair was wet and clung to the sides of his face. He wore only a loose fur at his hips, affording Taylor a generous view of his glistening chest.

  Patting Shadow on the back, Taylor said, “How about you run and get Belle?”

  “You, too,” Hale said, nodding towards Holly.

  Accustomed to being dismissed, Holly just shrugged and followed after Shadow. Once they were gone, Hale leaned against the door and stared at Taylor.

  “What’s this shit I’m hearing about Shan coming here?”

  Taylor said, “He and Kalla just want to check up on Belle.”

  “Then they should come to the den. I don’t want him here,” he said, pointing a finger at the floor.

  She rubbed the bridge of her nose. “What does it matter?”

  “I don’t want his scent on your things.”

  “We can meet in the yard if that’s better for you, but I don’t feel like going to the den tonight.”

  Hale pushed himself upright and sauntered over to her. He put a damp hand to her forehead, and then moved to touch her neck. It was something he must have learned from Taylor, as she often did it when one of the pups seemed unwell. But when his hand moved towards her neck, she instinctively flinched away.