Clouds That Were (Weathered Hearts)

by Addison Footit

  “Chase, I am sorry that you have to deal with her. She is not nearly responsible enough to have her driver’s license, and she is far too dumb to know how to buy a spark plug, so I really appreciate your taking care of this for me.”

  Oh my God, I am going to pick up this lawnmower and bash her fake smile right into her damn skull. Who the hell talks about her daughter like that? I feel myself clench my fists, and it is all that I can do not to snarl some remark to her about apples and trees. My dad must see this happening and quickly jumps to my rescue.

  “Oh, I am sure Chase here doesn’t mind having to take a pretty girl like her to the store for a bit.”

  “Pretty girl? Are you kidding? She might be pretty if she had a team of professionals working on her, but since she doesn’t, I would describe her as ordinary at best.”

  “Well, sometimes even the ordinary is beautiful,” my dad says with a look on his face I am certain I have never seen before. Somewhere between shock and disgust, I think.

  That is the moment Tenley rushes back out of the house wearing her famous hoodie. It’s a shame she has to cover up, but she still looks hot. My dad explains again that we will just need to show the old spark plug to the guy. I really am not sure why he is explaining this; I know what I am doing. However, he then adds a bit about its being old and probably having to go to more than one store, and I see where he is headed.

  Tenley and I head over to my truck, and I lean over and gloat in her ear about how I told her I would see her this afternoon. All she can do is shake her head and smile, and my God, that smile. I have never wanted to kiss a mouth as badly as I want to kiss hers. This is going to be a very long day.

  I help her into her side of the car, rather the passenger side, since it’s not really hers. Oh, who am I kidding? Yes, it is. Anyway, once she is in and buckled, I decide that I cannot spend another minute with her without kissing that mouth.

  “I just have to make a quick stop first.” I smile.

  She looks at me with a little bit of a confused look on her face, and we continue down the road. I know there is a back road out this way from which I can pull over and get this kiss out of the way before I stop breathing. I find an empty spot on the road and pull over. I can’t even think straight right now, so I put the truck in park and get out. I can hear her yelling something, but I have to just keep moving before I lose my nerve. I open her door and motion for her to get out, and she does. As soon as she is on the ground, I pull her lips as close to mine as I can without touching her and whisper “I am going to kiss you now, because I am afraid that if I don’t do it now, I might not get the chance again.” I lean in the rest of the way and as soon as her lips touch mine, I swear the world stops turning. In that moment, it is just she and I. She tastes like strawberries, and her lips are so soft, I think I could just stay here forever. It takes everything I have to pull away from her.

  I stand there and study her face for a minute. She looks adorable with her flushed cheeks, but most of my time is spent on her eyes, which, for at moment, have no trace of sadness in them at all. I joke with her and tell her to get back in the car because I know that if we keep standing here like this, we won’t make it to the store.

  We talk about her mom and why she is the way she is, and I just want to turn the car around and drive until we can’t drive anymore. I want to say exactly the right thing so that she knows I am going to be here for her no matter what. I want to pull her into my lap and hold her and let her cry and kiss every one of her tears away until she can’t cry anymore. The only thing I can come up with is, “I’m sorry.”

  As soon as the words leave my mouth, I know exactly what she is going to say. When my mom killed herself and people said that, it made me furious. The last thing on earth I wanted was some asshole’s pity. And that is exactly how I just made her feel based on the reaction I just got. Shit.

  I retreat to silence for the rest of the ride while I try to think of something to say to dig myself out of this massive hole I have just dug for myself. We both go into the hardware store and get the new spark plug. Once we are back in the car, I put my face in my hands so that I can think; and seconds later she pleads, “Listen, I know you didn’t mean to upset me. I just really hate it when people pity me.”

  There is no right thing to say right now, and yet, because I am a professional idiot when it comes to her, I manage to verbally vomit on her what seem like random words that just pop into my head. I can’t read what she is thinking with her damn sunglasses on, so I reach over and slide them up so I can see her eyes, and not only is the sadness back, but there are tears just about to fall. If she is anything like me, the last thing she wants is for someone to see her cry, so when she slides her glasses back down and turns away, I don’t argue with her. The last thing I need to do is make this hole any bigger.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Tenley

  The drive home is completely silent. He keeps my hand in his and gently rubs my hand with his thumb, and though no words are exchanged between us, the small gesture of his hand holding mine says so much.

  I feel safe. I feel cherished almost. I have never felt like this in my life. I know he is going to do whatever he can to help me. I know that he is going to save me. I don’t know how, but I know it.

  When we finally pull into my driveway, he looks at me with such an intense look in his eyes that I feel as though he can read my thoughts.

  “You will be okay. I will protect you. No matter what.”

  “I wish I could believe that.” I say with overwhelming sadness as I step out of the car.

  Walking into the house, I can immediately feel the tension. Jack must have left, and now my mother has just been sitting here getting angrier by the second.

  I close the door, and she is in my face.

  “I don’t know what the hell you were trying to pull there, but you try to pull that shit again with me young lady, and you will regret it.”

  “What exactly can you do to make my life worse than it already is? Let me tell you: nothing. My life is already the worst it can possibly be, so don’t threaten me. You don’t scare me anymore. You want my life to suck? Congratulations. It does. I’m going to bed.”

  “Don’t walk away from me when I am talking to you!”

  “Do you realize how ridiculous you sound? You think I was trying to pull something? Yes, mother. Two months ago when I started mowing the lawn I decided to take an extra half hour out of my day to “pretend” that the lawn mower was broken so that now, two months later, I could meet some random kid across the street, and we could have an super-romantic trip to the hardware store. Not only that, but I paid his dad a hundred dollars from the allowance that I don’t get to also pretend that the lawnmower was broken. For someone who thinks I am worthless and stupid, you sure are giving me a lot of credit. So yes, I am going to go to bed, because it is in my room, where I am all of the time, from which I come up with these genius plans.”

  She rushes up the stairs towards me with her hand in the air. I think for sure she is going to slap me, but she is too smart for that. One hit, and she knows I could be out of that house in a flash. She puts her hand down just as she gets to me. And we are nose to nose.

  “You think you are so smart. Well, don’t think anything like this is going to happen again. You are grounded for another month.”

  “Whatever.”

  I keep walking up the stairs, close my door, and throw myself onto the bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see light flashing from outside of the window, so I get up and pad over to the window. I can see Chase writing something, and he holds up the pad of paper that says “PHONE?”

  I am expecting my mom to come up and continue yelling at me, so I don’t know if taking out the phone is the best idea right now. However, I want to talk to him, so I take it out anyway and sit back in the window.

  Tenley: Sorry, my phone is still hidden in my room. Need to be quick. She could come in any second.

  Chase: Are you ok?
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  Tenley: I am. I am just going to go to bed.

  Chase: It’s 3 in the afternoon?

  Tenley: Better than sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

  Chase: I am going to fix this for you. I don’t know how yet, but I promise you, I will fix it.

  Tenley: Don’t make promises you can’t keep.

  Chase: I never do. Come to your window.

  I walk over to the window, and he holds up his pinky.

  Chase: Hold up your pinky.

  I hold it up.

  Chase: I just pinky promised you. I never break a pinky promise.

  I can’t help but smile.

  Tenley: ‘Night.

  Chase: Sleep well, pretty girl.

  I sit in the window for a while, just watching Chase’s house. He and his dad play football in the yard for a while, and at one point, he looks up at me in the window and winks. I don’t have any idea what that means, and even though I know better than to get excited, my heart feels like something big is about to happen.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Chase

  The feeling that I need to give her space is overwhelmed by my need to be there for her, and when I reach out to hold her hand, she lets me take it. Although she still won’t look at me, I still feel like we are connected and that I am doing what I can in this moment to show her that I’m not going anywhere. The problem is that I know that I cannot convey that by simply holding her hand.

  When we pull into her driveway, I can’t stay silent anymore.

  “You will be okay. I will protect you. No matter what.” I say it with as much conviction as I can muster.

  “I wish I could believe that,” she says sadly as she steps out of the car.

  Letting her walk into the house alone is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I know that her mom is probably going to be pissed that she got out of the house, but I don’t know what else I can do at this point.

  When I get home, my dad is sitting in the kitchen waiting for me.

  “We need to do something for that girl. That woman is absolutely nuts,” he explains.

  “I know Dad, but really, what can we do? Tenley has told me how she has told countless counselors and teachers how her mom verbally abuses her, but no one can do anything. According to her, verbal abuse is far too difficult to prove.”

  “This is just extremely frustrating. I can’t believe anyone can treat another person like that, much less that a mother would treat her child that way. We are going to do everything we can, you and me, to get her out of that house as much as possible.”

  “I am going to go see if she is in her room, you know, just make sure she is okay.” I said.

  When I get to my room and look over I can see that her light isn’t on, but it flips on within a minute. I see her walk in, and she comes right to the window. Grabbing my trusty sketchpad again I write, “PHONE?”

  I ask her if she is okay, and she texts back that she is going to bed, although it is only three in the afternoon. I wonder how often she does this. Just goes to bed in the middle of the day so that she doesn’t have to deal with her mom. I reassure her again that I will fix this somehow and go back downstairs to talk to my dad.

  When I walk back downstairs, I can hear him finishing up on the phone with my aunt Mel.

  “Yeah, Mel, if you could just bring all of your stuff with you and pick up the dress I ordered on your way here. Yeah, let’s just hope this works! I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  “What was that all about?” I ask.

  “Nothing other than that your father is a genius,” he gloats. “I picked out a dress for Tenley online, and your aunt Mel is coming to do her hair and makeup. You, my boy, are taking that girl to homecoming tonight!”

  “Well, you and I both know that that isn’t going to work. There is no way her mother is going to let her go to homecoming.”

  “Nope, I thought of that. She is so worried about being alone, I figure if I ask her to dinner, she won’t be able to say no right? And I am going to explain that I need Tenley to go with you because you are “having such a hard time adjusting.” She won’t be able to say no, because not only will she not want to disappoint me, but she can’t very well go out to dinner with me and leave her at home alone, because she doesn’t trust her. It is really quite brilliant if I do say so myself.”

  “Wow, you have kind of thought of everything haven’t you?”

  “Yup, like I said, brilliant.”

  “So are you actually going to go to dinner with her? You don’t actually like her do you?”

  “Blech. No. But Tenley needs all the help she can get right now. I saw the sadness you described, and two minutes with her mother, and I completely understand where she is coming from. I want to help her. I wasn’t able to help your mom, and that is something I will always regret, but Tenley is too young and has far too much potential to have her life taken away from her like this. So I am sacrificing myself for the night, for her, and for you. If you were any more smitten with that girl, I think you would lose your mind.”

  “Shut up. I am not smitten. And also, you should know? No one says smitten anymore, update your vocab, daddio,” I laugh.

  “Haha. Very funny. I’m old; deal with it.”

  “Hello?” I hear my aunt call from the front door.

  “Hey, Melly! Thanks for coming on such short notice. Did you get the dress?”

  “I did, Jackie, and I…”

  My dad quickly cuts her off. “Don’t call me Jackie. You know I hate that.”

  “Don’t call me Melly, then. You know I hate that,” she smarts back at him.

  “Touché.”

  “Anyway, I picked up the dress; however, you failed to get shoes, so I picked some up in a few different sizes for you. I also picked up some jewelry to match the dress. You’re welcome.”

  “Aunt Mel, you are my hero!” I exclaim.

  “Hey,” my dad yells “This was my idea!”

  “Yes, Dad, you are my hero, too.”

  “Whatever. I don’t think you are being sincere at all, and my feelings are hurt. Luckily for you, I am doing this for Tenley, not you.” He smirks. “Now, I have a dress and an invitation to deliver”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Tenley

  About an hour after I leave the window, I hear the doorbell ring. I know better at this point than to leave my room, so I let my mother get the door. A few minutes after I hear the doorbell, my mother comes up with an extremely sour look on her face holding a wrapped package.

  “The neighbor who helped us with the lawnmower today just came over and said that his son is having a very hard time adjusting to this new school. Apparently, he bought you a dress in the hope that you would go to the homecoming dance with him this evening. He also wanted to know if I would go out to dinner with him. You and I both know that you have no right to go to that dance, but I need you to go in case Jack actually wants to date me.” With that, she throws the package at me.

  “Get yourself dressed, and do something with your hair. Try to make yourself look like you actually care about your appearance for once. I don’t want to give them a bad impression.”

  There is a part of me that wants to just scream at her. She obviously doesn’t even see that me not being a “normal” sixteen-year-old gives bad impressions to a lot of people, and at this point, I kind of just want to punch her.

  Once she leaves my room, it takes every ounce of self–restraint I have not to just scream in glee. I have to believe that Chase set this whole thing up, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. Maybe his dad really does just want to hang out with my mom.

  I open the package to reveal a dress more beautiful than anything I have ever even seen, much less owned. The dress is silver, with darker silver flowers sewn into the fabric. The box also contains shoes to match and jewelry, and every single thing fits like a glove—well, one of the pairs of shoes anyway. I put the dress on and go into the bathroom with the makeup and take out my mother’s curling i
ron. The makeup is all spread out on the counter when I realize I have no idea what I am doing. I have never worn makeup before and have no idea how to even turn on the curling iron.

  I can’t do this. I walk to my room and dig my phone out of its hiding place to text Chase and tell him I can’t go, and I see that it is lit up. There is a text from a number I don’t recognize.

  920-459-3256: This is Chase’s aunt Melanie. He said you might need help getting your hair and makeup ready for tonight. I am at their house if you need help. Chase is out running errands, so he won’t see you. I look forward to meeting the girl that has Chase smiling like this.

  Are you kidding me? Not only did he arrange for me to have a dress, made arrangements for my mother to have plans, but now he has also made sure that I have someone to do my hair and makeup?

  Is it because he thinks I am not pretty enough without my hair and makeup done? I know I am not, but after the way he has been acting towards me, I guess I thought he felt differently.

  It doesn’t matter. I want him to be proud to walk in with me, so I gather all my stuff into a bag and go down to tell my mom I am going to get ready at his house.

  Jack is already there when I walk down the stairs, and he, too, explains that his sister is at their house waiting to help me get ready.

  “That will be really great” my mother says “I don’t think Tenley has any idea how to get herself ready for something like this.” As she says it, I catch her sneer at me from behind Jack’s back.

  “Well, this is perfect then!” Jack says happily. “My sister is actually a beautician, and she will make her look like even more of an angel than she already does!”

  I smile at Jack for saying something so nice as he comes over and practically shoves me and my bag out of the door. Once I am on the front steps, he looks at me and says, “You make Chase happier than I have seen him since his mom died. I am glad that you both can bring happiness to each other. Go and have fun tonight, and I will make sure your mom doesn’t give you any problems.” He closes the door, and I am free.