Why Me?

by Treva Harte

  Cassie restrained a shudder. What really was awful was that she loved him so much that she'd even let something like that happen if Wynn wanted to.

  This was so strange. She'd done what she thought her mother would have wanted and because she had, now her father and his family were getting closer to her than ever. Maybe that was good.

  She didn't know what to think any more. All her usual perceptions about life were shifting.

  "Why, Dad? I mean, yeah, he's better than Ned as a husband but that isn't saying much. What makes Wynn worthwhile to you?"

  "He loves you."

  Her father looked as sincere as Cassie could ever remember seeing him.

  "Oh."

  "He refused my offer of a job, though. Tasha says that he isn't going to be working for the White House even if the election goes the way I assume you two would want it to go." Her father leaned against the balcony wall and smiled at her. "You have any future plans?"

  "Um. I don't know. I suppose I could try law again."

  Where had that come from?

  Cassie couldn't believe she was saying that. She had never wanted to return to law. She still never wanted to return. "Maybe be a public defender or something. I wouldn't go back to a big firm. Ever."

  Not even if she got married to a man who didn't want to be married to a mere cleaning person. She didn't know how he felt about her job. They'd never talked about that. They'd never talked about a lot of things.

  "A big firm might not be the best thing if you plan on children, I'll admit. Or at least not right now." Her father's voice was indulgent. Frighteningly indulgent. He'd never before allowed for the possibility that Cassie might have any law career other than one on the fast track. "You ever thought of going corporate?"

  "Only if I turned my cleaning business into a corporation," Cassie retorted, then caught herself. "If I kept up with that business, I mean. Are you offering me a job now, Dad?"

  She was getting all tangled up in what she wanted and what Wynn wanted—might want.

  "I could."

  "No, thanks. I mean, I guess I should talk to Wynn. But, no, I don't think so." Cassie knew she couldn't go corporate again. Wynn hadn't consulted with her when he turned her father down, so probably she didn't have to talk to him either. Damn, this was tricky.

  "Well, I'm sure you two have plans. Speaking of which, what about children?"

  Cassie jumped. How had he known? She hadn't even told Wynn yet. She barely had acknowledged the news to herself. She had spent a long time in front of the bathroom sink this evening before they left, staring at the home pregnancy test.

  Cassie had looked up into the mirror and seen one terrified face. Then she'd gotten dressed and to the party without saying anything about the results. For the first time she'd been almost glad that she and Wynn had lost their mental bond. She hadn't wanted to tell him.

  She didn't want to confirm that she was pregnant by telling other people. Things were already changing way too much as it was. Cassie wasn't sure what she should do about those changes. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to do about them.

  "Children would be fine. Sometime." The words brought up something Cassie had been thinking about and she decided that would be perfect to change the subject. "Hey, Dad, I have a question along that line. Did Mom ever talk to you about—about—"

  "Yes?"

  This might be harder to discuss than Cassie thought. She couldn't really think of a way to tactfully ease into the subject so she took a deep breath and just asked.

  "Did she ever have any special abilities? Oh, man. I mean, could she use telepathy or something along those lines?" Cassie rushed the words out, waiting for the laughter to start. But she'd been thinking about genetics a lot lately.

  "No." Her father looked surprised. "No, she didn't. In fact she always envied me my ability to do that. I think that was what made her interested in me in the first place, to be honest."

  Cassie stared at her respectable, conventional, businessman father.

  "You? You, Dad?"

  "Yes. I never talked to you about it because—well, it's so unusual, I suppose. I was sort of a late bloomer with that anyhow. Never got any unusual insights or flashes until I was in college. Your mother was very supportive when I first realized what was going on. I'm not necessarily very good at it, but I must say it has come in handy a time or two during business deals."

  Her father looked just the way he always did. He sounded like he always did. But what he was saying was simply extraordinary.

  Then he smiled at her. That grin was youthful, mischievous and just a little sly. After all these years Cassie could finally see just what her free-spirited mom had seen in him. Her dad looked a little like Wynn.

  Then she had a really bad thought. Maybe her dad had been a lot more like Wynn before he got married. She had just been allowed to see the last remnants of her father's old personality before marriage destroyed them.

  "You've been getting some flashes yourself?" he asked. "I can't imagine why else you asked."

  "Yeah. Yeah. That's what you could call it."

  "That could be damn useful in my corporation, honey. You sure you want to turn me down?"

  "Yeah. Very sure. You know, Dad, I never would have guessed this stuff came from you." Cassie still couldn't believe it.

  "You made assumptions, dear. They were very—conventional assumptions on your part, Cassie." Was her father laughing at her?

  "You're right. I've been doing a lot of that lately. This engagement thing has kind of thrown me."

  "No need to be thrown, dear. You and Wynn will do just fine." Her father looked a little hesitant and then came and hugged her again. Twice in one evening. "Sounds to me like you and he need to talk a few things out. Like how you both intend to make a living, for example."

  That sounded more like Dad. That was also a relief since nothing else seemed to be going the way she thought things would between them. Was her dad mellowing or was she? Well, it damn well better not be her.

  "You have a point." Cassie admitted. She risked a kiss and then headed for her young man.

  She might as well get the discussion over with now. The hesitation and uncertainty was killing her. She'd been going crazy ever since she took that pregnancy test and got the results. No, she'd been going crazy ever since she agreed to this stupid engagement party.

  She'd had enough of trying to do things the way people expected fiancées and mothers-to-be to do things. Doing things the right way was driving her further and further from Wynn. She didn't know what either of them wanted anymore. She'd suffocate if she kept trying to meet expectations.

  If Wynn thought she was going to do marriage the way most people did, he was in for a big surprise.

  On her way she unclipped the strand of pearls and dumped them in her purse. She wanted to dump them in the trash, but then she decided Tash would probably see her do it, have an unholy fit and then scoop it up out of the garbage to inflict that necklace on Cassie's kid when she turned twenty one. She had to start thinking like a mother and protect her child. Cassie decided a dumpster on the way home would be the way to go in this case.

  "Cassie. Hand over the jewelry."

  Cassie whirled around at the familiar voice, clutching her purse.

  "Nope. You'll take care of them or something."

  "Exactly." Emily crooked a finger at her, her other hand holding some champagne. "Come on, Cassidy."

  "But, Em, I want to get rid of them. I want to get rid of everything associated with this evening."

  Em smiled knowingly at her.

  "I knew you had that 'I'm trapped' expression on your face. You want to get rid of everything, including Wynn?"

  "Maybe. Yes."

  "Then you're an idiot. Wynn is perfect."

  "You like him? You never like my boyfriends." Cassie felt almost betrayed. "You threatened him with the police."

  "Now that he isn't kicking my door down, I can take a second look. I like him for you, Cass. He
adores you. He's gorgeous. And I can tell you and he are on the same wavelength. I always thought that would be impossible. Up until now I figured you were one of a kind. Now I see there are two of you. A matched pair."

  Cassie snickered.

  "Yeah, Wynn and I are on the same wavelength all right." Cassie hesitated. "But Em, I was sure you'd never approve."

  "Of Wynn?"

  "Of marriage. Didn't you get kicked in the teeth from your marriage?"

  Emily hugged her suddenly. The champagne sloshed a little over both their shoes. Cassie figured she didn't mind if Emily didn't.

  "Yes, I guess so," Emily agreed. "But ending the marriage wasn't my choice. If it had been, I probably would still be Jim's wife. I suppose it's lucky that it wasn't up to me because now I know that particular marriage wasn't right."

  "See?" Cassie said, but she didn't feel triumphant.

  "No, Cass. I'm not so crazy about Jim any more, but marriage is wonderful. I like being with someone, sharing jokes with him. I like sex with love. I like watching a guy shave in the morning and knowing he'll come home at night."

  "I can do that without marriage," Cassie pointed out.

  Emily sighed, as if her friend was a particularly stupid two year old and continued, "I like feeling like I'm accepted into the adult's club. That acceptance is what you get from the world when you're married. How can I explain this? Cassie, I really want all the stupid sentimental things you always sneered at when we talked about weddings back at school. I want to promise to belong to someone in front of everyone and to know he'll always belong to me."

  "Still?"

  "Still. Even with all the arguments, all the childbirth, all the hurt that comes along with the promises. Oh Cassie, give the whole thing a chance. I can see you married to Wynn. I couldn't see you with any of the other idiots you picked to be with. Take David. All I can say for David was that at least he wasn't Ned."

  Cassie hesitated.

  "Besides, Cassie, when else will I get to be your bridesmaid or matron of honor or whatever? You are going to have me be in your wedding, aren't you?"

  "Em, I don't want there to be a wedding! I really think you're wrong this time, Em."

  "Cassie, don't be impulsive. Think. Besides, have I ever been wrong about you, ever? Honestly, the only thing I'm sorry about with you and Wynn is that even Ned has figured out that with Wynn around you're gone forever. Ned's looking for a substitute Cassie. I may have to adopt him if he hangs around my house much longer. But I don't need five kids."

  Cassie laughed as she left, but some of the angry energy was gone. That didn't mean she'd changed her mind, though. And the only important person she needed to convince was Wynn.

  Chapter Twenty

  "Wynn, listen to me—"

  Cassie swept up to him while he was chatting with her brother. Wynn was almost relieved, even though he could see she was ready for war.

  He didn't know why she wanted a battle but anything had to be less boring than talking job prospects—Hank's, not Wynn's. The conversation had really dragged since Wynn knew he had none of his own and couldn't exactly contribute much to the conversation.

  "Oh oh." Hank might be boring, but he wasn't stupid. He ran for cover without bothering to say good-bye.

  "Yes, darling?" Wynn tried for a mild tone but he could see that wasn't going to do.

  Well they hadn't had a fight in a while. He could feel a little surge of anticipation and adrenaline kick in. Would Cassie start one in public? At their own engagement party? She swept him away to another, deserted room and he was almost disappointed.

  She looked different, he realized. Well, different from the start of the evening. She was more like his Cassie—with her hair a little bit wild and sparks snapping in her eyes. And no pearls. He wondered if she'd lost them. That wouldn't be a surprise for the old Cassie.

  "Listen to me, Wynn Harmon."

  "Always, dear."

  "Don't start. I have some important things to say to you."

  "Me, too."

  "If you think I'm going to settle down and just be—be married, you're wrong. I know Dad is going to ask you to take a job with him again. I know you're probably feeling a little lost, trying to figure out what you can do now that you aren't the same as before. I know you are getting to like the man. Listen to me. Don't you dare consider it! If we have to, we can live off my cleaning job. At least until you figure out what you want to do."

  "Fine. That's what I planned. Well, not the living off you part. I'm not sure what I can do, especially now that I've-changed—but I can keep us both afloat with my acquisitions for a while."

  "Fine. Hell, maybe you can stay home for a while and take care of the baby. You know as much as I do about how to deal with one."

  "Whoa. Whoa. Ah, I take it that means you are—"

  "Yes, I am, but that isn't the important thing just now. I love you, Wynn. Just the way you are, all right? We don't have to be just regular married folks. How could we be? After all—"

  *Neither of us are regular folks, married or not*.

  "neither of us...are...Wynn?"

  *Blessed Jesus Christ, I believe I've got it back.*

  Cassie stopped in mid-tirade and threw her arms around him. He was happy to let her.

  "Oh Wynn, I know how much that was bothering you! I'm so glad!"

  "Me, too."

  And he was glad Cassie was laughing, and holding him and giving him her declaration of independence. For some reason right now that was even more important than regaining his gift. "Cassie, you should know we aren't going to be conventional. We're freaks, right?"

  "If you want to call us that."

  "What do you say we leave and discuss what we are elsewhere?" Wynn kissed under her ear. She always liked that.

  Oh, she liked that all right.

  Cassie's eyes promptly half shut and she almost purred out her response. The sound of her voice, all throaty and excited, made him feel like a hell of a stud.

  "Sure. My house? I mean—our house?"

  He thought about her house. Their house. He'd said once he could find another home. There his home was, waiting for him.

  His new place wouldn't be at all like the old one. He'd planned to create a stir with his old place. He'd planned impress colleagues with how important he was by his surroundings. After all, he'd planned to have an image to maintain. None of that would happen where he was about to live.

  His old house had been a quiet refuge. This new home would be cramped and cluttered and eccentric. Cassie would probably be in his face all the time. The kid would, too.

  Maybe the place would be just a little unsettled for a staid married couple and a kid. And he would definitely have to get rid of the antiques. They wouldn't fit her house or a small baby's life. Oh, hell. Maybe he could store a few until the kid grew up. Who said they'd be in one place forever anyhow?

  In the mean time Cassie's place would be fine. Any place with Cassie would be fine. With Cassie and the kid he wouldn't have to create an image to show he was important.

  For the first time in his life he was going to be as important to someone else as they were to him. Someone who was going to stay.

  "I don't know. We have the rest of our lives to be there if we want. For now why don't we just leave the party and go see where we end up? We can get in the car and go. Just for old times' sake?"

  "Sure."

  She didn't hesitate. Wynn smiled. He threw his arm over her shoulder, ready to sweep her out the door and into something unpredictable.

  Then he paused to nuzzle one stray lock of hair. He could feel her shiver. He nuzzled closer. Maybe he could stretch this out a little more. He liked waiting when he could feel Cassie getting more excited with each moment they lingered.

  "By the way, Cassie, I thought you should know I've one thing planned for when we do stop."

  "Oh?"

  "I've been having this fantasy I hoped you could help me out with."

  "A fantasy, huh?"

&
nbsp; "Mmmm. It involves scarves. But I thought this time it would only be fair if we switched roles. Or, if that bothers you, maybe we could just pretend. But I definitely think it's my turn to dominate. My fragile male ego can't handle things any other way. At least not until I've had my turn."

  "You turn?"

  "I bet I could get you all wet and moaning those little cries of yours while I tie you up with your legs spread nicely apart. And while I tell you how pretty that pussy of yours looks all wet and welcoming. And when I lick it. I hear some women get extra horny when they're pregnant. You'd love the way my tongue would work its way all over you. When I stopped, just to tease, you'd moan and twitch enough to make me keep going. Longer. Harder. You'd probably beg me to do it that way all the time before I'm done with you."

  "Beg? Well, that might be—different." Cassie's face looked sweetly thoughtful but her eyes showed she was amused and interested. And she shifted, just a little, like she was getting excited by her thoughts.

  "I don't think married people are supposed to do things like that, you know." Wynn did his very best to look innocent, too, while he pointed that out.

  Cassie broke down first and snickered. Then she turned to give him a long, slow, serious kiss.

  Somewhere in the middle of that kiss he realized he might not be able to wait to take a long drive to anywhere with her.

  In fact, Wynn figured he had just about enough self-control left to get her out of this house and into the car without shocking too many of the guests—as long as she stopped doing that within the next few seconds.

  When she didn't stop he dimly began to think about locked dark closets, rearranged clothes and quick hot sex. The scarves could wait. His new fantasy now involved getting to a bathroom or anywhere nearby with a locked door. Quickly.

  Suddenly he knew that things were going to work out. He couldn't see what their life would be like exactly, but neither of them wanted it that way.

  *Cassie, are you happy about the kid?*

  *I'm not sure. I still can't quite believe it yet. What about you?*

  *Yes. I can't believe it yet, either, but yes.*

  Cassie stopped thinking about Wynn and getting him naked. At that moment she had entirely different image in her head. Cassie imagined holding a small baby with dark, intent eyes.