The Demon Master's Wife (Fantasy, Space Opera, Science Fiction Romance) (FORCED TO SERVE)

by McDonald, Donna

  Just as she was about to fall asleep, it occurred to Ania that she’d had all these thoughts about him before. And with those recollections, she also remembered how much she had cared about him when she’d agreed to mate him.

  “Oh, Liam—I remember now and almost wish I didn’t,” Ania whispered, chasing the pain away by hugging him back tightly.

  ***

  Synar woke the next morning, a little surprised at first to find Ania next to him. Then it came back to him slowly that she’d come to him in the middle of the night seeking comfort. He’d been too tired to give her much, but at least she seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

  He watched her sleeping for a short while, and then suddenly her eyes opened wide. She looked at him in complete shock.

  “Liam, I had the worst dream,” Ania said softly. “I dreamed you left me for a long time. Then when you came back, you told me you put a demon in me. But you’re here. I’m here. It was so strangely real.”

  Ania felt his body to convince herself of it, patting his firm chest. “Why are you frowning, Synar?”

  “Ania, what happened last night? What kind of dreams did you have?” he asked.

  Ania blinked. “I—I’m not sure.”

  Then suddenly she was. And it was all there inside her mind.

  All her training. All her work. All the decision making that had gone into bonding with Liam Synar.

  The mating week. The attack. His subsequent abandonment and the betrayal of her trust . . .

  Ania sat up quickly and crawled over him, stumbling away in her haste to put distance between them.

  “I remember now. You did leave. That was real. And you came back. That’s real too. There is a demon inside me, and his name is Malachi. Oh raging fires of Helios, I remember everything. He gave it all back—all of it. You didn’t come back on your own. I’m only here with you because of him. You came back to get me because of the demon.”

  Ania pushed her feet into her shoes and then stopped, feeling the agony in her spirit as she put her hand on the door to leave. Even the pain of betrayal felt good and it wasn’t often that so much emotion moved through her. A sob of equal parts pain and joy escaped as she realized she truly was her complete self once more.

  “Thank you. Thank you, Malachi. You have kept your word,” she whispered.

  Synar swung his feet to the floor, concerned that Ania’s mind had slipped as he heard her. She was talking to the demon. Was she mad? Was Malachi torturing her?

  Malachi had been good to his other hosts.

  He was about to call Malachi out of her to get an explanation, when Ania swung to him as if she had suddenly read his very thoughts.

  “No—do not call Malachi to leave me right now. We have reached an accord. This has nothing to do with you. I need to talk to Dorian about my memories coming back. I have to go,” she said.

  “Ania, wait. Are you ill? Your mind—you are not acting like yourself,” Synar said, unable to keep the worry from his voice. “Let me talk to the demon, find out what is the matter.”

  “Liam—it is alright,” Ania said as calmly as she could, fighting her excitement to walk back to stand in front of the confused and still nude male.

  Desire for him was a rush of life force through her. Malachi must have been right about that as well. How was it she never understood that before? How was it she had been so frightened of her desire for him when they first mated?

  Ania drew in a deep breath, completely aware of herself, of Liam, and what it was to be alive.

  “My spirit is awake again. It leaps within me waiting to get caught up with the half-life I was leading without it. I need Dorian to check for sure, but I know where I am and all that has befallen me. I know the choices ahead. Now I can make decisions with a clear and conscious mind.”

  Ania grabbed Liam’s arms, squeezing to reassure him as he tensed.

  “Thank you for last night, for holding me while I slept through the restoration of my memories. You were always able to make me feel secure, Liam. That’s what I missed the most when you left. It was never the bonding or even our conversations. It was the pleasure of resting in your arms. Still, I understand why you left me now, and I forgive you. I really do. Please believe that I mean it with my whole spirit. Chelasa corlon-ra. Be at peace.”

  Ania’s words of blessing fell over him, and Synar’s arms trembled under her hands.

  “If you really forgive me, then be my mate again,” Synar said, begging for the only blessing he wanted from her. “Do not seek to be free of this life—or me.”

  Synar decided he would still talk to Malachi soon and find out what was going on—why Ania was having all these epiphanies. Next time he wouldn’t let her stop him. For now though, he didn’t want to interfere with the first peaceful expression he’d seen on Ania’s face since she had learned about hosting Malachi.

  “Liam, I cannot promise to be anything to anyone with so much still undecided, plus it may not be the right decision for us anyway,” Ania said, rubbing consoling hands on his arms. “It does not change my compassion for you or how much I care. It just allows you not to feel responsible in any way for my fate. To that end, there is one thought resonating inside me that will ease the worst of your concerns. This morning I understand that I am on the path that was meant for me. So thank you for saving my life, Liam Synar. Please hear me with your spirit. Thank you for saving my life.”

  Ania dropped her hands and fled the room, leaving Synar staring after her in total shock. Mostly because he had no idea what she meant by any of her words except the part about saving her life.

  Maybe he wasn’t yet awake enough.

  Maybe he was just too male to ever understand the female he had mated.

  Chapter 10

  Dorian prowled his room restlessly. He wasn’t able to meditate so there was no escape from the torment. He was emotionally stirred up and sexually frustrated, his vibrations needing an outlet. Yet Dorian didn’t dare go out because he knew he would head straight for Gwen, even if he had to fight his way through all others on the Liberator who might be drawn to him.

  The knock at his door made him leap to answer it, hoping his mate had come to her senses. But it was the wrong female who came rushing through his door uninvited. He hated rudeness and this one knew that more than most. Today he wasn’t feeling up to tolerating anything from anyone and the venom came rushing out unchecked.

  “You were not invited inside, Ania Looren. Give me one reason I shouldn’t throw you out bodily,” Dorian demanded.

  Ania blinked in confusion at Dorian’s angry reaction, but walked back to stand just outside the door to his room.

  “Forgive me. May I come in? I find myself in need of some spiritual counseling,” she requested softly.

  Dorian made a growling sound low in his throat, one that would have had most crew members running away from him. He knew all efforts to intimidate were lost on the female at his door no matter how meek she appeared at first glance.

  “Thanks to your peacekeeping directive, I am incapable of counseling today,” Dorian said, biting off the harsher words he wanted to fling at her. “My mate stays away, and I have not had the kind of relief I need to calm myself. Even you are in danger in my presence.”

  Ania snorted and walked back into Dorian’s room, uninvited again. “I know better. You’re just feeling sorry for yourself. Sit down and let me help.”

  “No. Go away and leave me alone,” Dorian said harshly.

  “Sit down—or I will make you sit,” Ania said back just as harshly, mirroring his tactics. “I have everything back, or at least it feels that way. Now do as I ask.”

  Dorian’s gaze raked her, his jagged spirit settling long enough to let him see what Ania said was truth.

  “I don’t understand. What has occurred? I still sense the demon within you,” Dorian said, then realized that he’d never really told her he could. It hadn’t seemed necessary before, and he’d tried to spare Ania the cruelty of knowing she wore the dem
on over her energy like an article of clothing over her body.

  Unconcerned at his revelation of being aware of Malachi within her, Ania picked up his right hand. “Yes, Malachi is still in me, but he has given me back all of who I am or ever was. Now sit down—please. I cannot reach your shoulders well enough while you are standing.”

  Dorian sighed and walked to a chair. “I tell you it is not safe to be so close to me. I do not trust myself. Subdue me if you need to, I will understand.”

  Ania rolled her eyes at his self-pitying words as she’d witnessed Gwen doing many times. The action was starting to make more sense to her. Self-pity was so useless.

  “You know what I am doing so spread your knees,” she ordered, stepping between them when he did. “I am not worried about you attacking me. I’m worried about you having a complete meltdown and going after Gwen.”

  Dorian snorted. “You have no idea how close I am to doing so.”

  When she’d gotten as close as she dared for both their comfort, Ania let go of Dorian’s hand and placed her palms on Dorian’s shoulders, leaned forward, and touched her forehead to his. Speaking the calming words quickly and quietly, she felt him gradually relaxing under her ministrations.

  After she felt Dorian’s raging lust for his mate finally banking itself in his gut, Ania backed away from him slowly. She didn’t know who was suffering more—Dorian or Gwen.

  “The effects of restraining it will not last long. I imagine Gwen will need you again today anyway. If you are this churned up with need for her, she must be suffering as well,” Ania told him.

  Dorian sighed and stood, his body feeling bereft without the energy of the Siren’s call raging around. “I am becoming as contrary as Gwen. Now I long to be suffering just so I can feel her need for me. This is the very reason I shunned her two years ago. I knew she would allow me no peace.”

  Ania arched an eyebrow. “So you’re afraid of the control your mate has over your state of being? Sounds like a complaint I’ve heard before—only from Gwen. You’re usually not the kind of person given to self-delusions.”

  “Even without looking, I can tell you have returned to being your normal snide self. You should be more afraid of a Siren’s wrath,” Dorian said, walking over and dropping his robe to pull on his clothes now that he was calm.

  “I carry a demon—attacking me would be a death sentence,” Ania said.

  “If this goes on much longer, death might be preferable. No—wait, that sounds like you and your death wish,” Dorian replied, narrowing his eyes as he turned to fully face her.

  “Dorian, you really must learn some physical decorum. When your mate comes to share your living space, the human side of Gwen is going to be livid at your tendency to disrobe in front of all creatures without thought,” Ania said with a laugh. “Not that I don’t appreciate the scenery this morning. You are still the most beautiful Siren male that was ever born.”

  Because it was yet another wrong female flattering him, Ania’s comments only made him frown. Dorian pulled on and fastened his uniform pants, tugging one of the loose tunics he favored quickly over his head. Now he at least felt like he could talk to Ania without feeling completely vulnerable.

  “I have not been able to leave my room. Calliope stopped me in the hall yesterday and began touching me. Not long after I escaped her, two males that I did not know stopped me as well and made me intriguing offers that—Helios help me—I found myself entertaining in my imagination. If something doesn’t change soon, Synar will have no choice but to lock me up,” Dorian said harshly. “I had engineering put a scrambler outside my room so my vibrations at least wouldn’t carry when the rage is at its worst. It’s not even safe to call Gwen when that happens. The vibrations of the Siren’s call can travel through my voice as well.”

  “Have you contacted Sarinnea for help?” Ania asked.

  “Yes—she is already sending what is needed on the next supply ship delivery. It should arrive shortly, perhaps today even,” Dorian said.

  “Good. In the meantime, I can probably just keep helping you both. Malachi and I have reached an accord,” she said easily.

  “You call the demon by name,” Dorian observed, walking to Ania to peer down into her face. “Yet I am able to sense all of you now. Tell me what you came to tell me.”

  Ania paced his room. “This is a nice space, Dorian. Why does Synar not use the captain’s quarters? He stays in a small room meant for junior crew.”

  “Ask Synar that question. It is not my place to answer for his personal choice of where to sleep,” Dorian said, letting his tone communicate his refusal as much as his words.

  Ania looked at him. “Yes—I am well aware of your theory about non-involvement in personal issues.”

  Dorian swore and starting pacing himself. “I have explained my support of Liam two years ago, over and over again. What else do you want to hear from me? I kept silent, always believing that you both would find your path to each other again. Fundamentally, I agree Synar was right to take whatever measures he could to prevent your death.”

  “If you truly believe that, then help me find the reason I live,” Ania demanded. “Look at my newly awakened spirit. Ask it how it is and what the creators of all have planned for me. I am at the edge of many decisions. I need guidance.”

  “You trust me to read you again?” Dorian asked, needing to hear it after all the bad emotional exchanges they had indulged in with each other.

  “I have no choice but to bring this to you. I cannot ask Synar because of his resentment of Malachi. I must know the information, and meditating on it myself will take too long. Something is coming, I think, and I am responding to a need to act quickly. That knowing is as strong as all my other revelations this morning,” Ania explained, hoping Dorian was capable of trusting her.

  “There is no need to convince me. I have felt something coming myself,” Dorian agreed, deciding he was going to have to tell her what he saw when he read her that first day.

  He walked to the wall by the door and punched some buttons on the control panel, basically hanging out a “counselor in session” sign.

  “These matters are best discussed here in private rather than in the meditation room,” Dorian said.

  “You saw what was coming the first day I came onboard, didn’t you?” Ania accused, tuning herself to Dorian’s thoughts. “You already know what I am contemplating.”

  “The form it would take was denied me, but yes—I knew you would face a decision concerning a more complex merging with the demon,” Dorian said. “I do not condone the action, but I will look further into what happens if you wish me to do so.”

  “Why have you not told Synar what you saw?” Ania asked.

  “That resistant male is more unreasonable about you than I am about Gwen,” Dorian confessed. “I might as well talk to the walls of the ship. He listens to no council but his own where you and the demon are concerned. Synar refuses to share his burden with anyone. If he had done as I asked and told you about the demon before you were mated, would you have stayed with him?”

  “Yes,” Ania said, feeling it resonate in her as truth. “There is some inner sense I have that my connection to Synar is both divine and destined. That doesn’t mean I wish to become enslaved to his goals for me. I no more wish to be controlled than Gwen does.”

  Dorian nodded. “In my calm mood, that makes sense. Under the effects of the Siren’s call, her resistance to me seems merely an obstacle to be removed by any means necessary.”

  Ania laughed. “Now that I understand how physical urges can rule decisions, I miss the peace of the years before I knew Synar even more.”

  Dorian frowned. “I know what you mean. I have had no peace since I heard Gwen’s name the first time. Turning her away when she came to me was as bad a mistake as allowing Synar to go two years without telling you the truth. I do not like this feeling of being wrong about so many things. It is disrespectful to refuse your intuitive gifts and live in denial.”
<
br />   When Dorian placed his hands on Ania’s shoulders to read her, he smiled when she grabbed his wrists in her hands. She met his gaze steadily and Dorian saw memories of their years together reflected back to him. He squeezed back in understanding.

  “I have forgiven Synar, which means that I also forgive you, my friend. Let what is gone pass away and be spoken of no more. I now believe your actions were part of my life’s plan. To resent would be a waste of time. Chelasa corlon-ra. Be at peace about the past,” Ania said.

  When the peace Ania called came into him, Dorian leaned his forehead down to hers. Nothing felt better between friends than true forgiveness.

  “May I never act wrongly with you again,” he prayed.

  “I do not worry for that. Now look into my secrets old friend,” she requested, patting his wrists before dropping her hands.

  Ania tilted her head down to stare at his chest, but ended up closing her eyes, asking Malachi to let Dorian help her. She felt his agreement vibrate along her nerve endings.

  “The demon approves of you now,” Dorian said, frowning at the knowledge that was counter to all he’d ever read about them and their evil. “He stands by your side hoping that you will make the decision to merge with him more.”

  Dorian saw her writhing on the floor of her room, crying in agony. “Do you know what you will suffer to make such a change?” he asked.

  “Yes—Malachi has warned me it would be almost as bad as the final Khalsa test,” Ania said quietly.

  “Perhaps. I cannot know that for sure because I chose not to take my training that far, but you will survive,” Dorian stated firmly, seeing Ania climb exhausted into her bed in his vision of her.

  He also saw Synar walking away from her again because of her decision, but he feared to say it that plainly. So he softened it.

  “Synar will not be pleased by your decision. He will feel betrayed by both of you,” Dorian explained.

  Ania sighed heavily beneath Dorian’s hands. “Thank you for warning me. His reaction I cannot change. Synar has a right to his feelings, but I have a right to decide my fate.”