Access Denied (and other eighth grade error messages)
Page 13
“Yeah,” I said, choking it out.
“Your brother told me to be on the lookout for his little sister. I’m Jeff.” His eyes dropped briefly to my chest before returning to my face. I fought the urge to cross my arms over my perky little middle school breasts. But I didn’t want him to know I’d seen him look.
“Hi,” I said. No psychic connection after all. Just an annoying brother who probably said stupid things about me. Even though I came up past the god boy’s shoulder, I suddenly felt very small. Little sister implied young, baby, don’t bother. And why should he? If he was a junior like Chris, he was three years older than me. I might as well be in preschool as far as he was concerned.
“Just show him your alien markings and go back to your spaceship,” Chris said, nudging me out of the way to go inside.
“Shut up,” I said automatically as I followed them inside. Chris went immediately into the family room and flipped on the TV. Jeff lingered in the kitchen, where I caught the faint scent of his cologne mixed with boy smell.
“I’d be interested in those alien markings.” Jeff turned and raised his eyebrows at me in a way that sent a tingle down my spine.
My cheeks warmed and I dropped my gaze. Some of the new welcome-to-teenhood sproutings on various parts of my body were definitely alien markings. But no way was I showing them to anyone.
“Massey, it’s on,” Chris called from the other room.
“Be right there.” Jeff looked at me. “Got anything to drink?” “There’s soda in the fridge.” I motioned to it.
He pulled out three cans of Coke, popped the top on one, and handed it to me.
“Thanks,” I said. For a second, I thought he was going to invite me to go sit somewhere with him. Then he took a long gulp from his can. “See you soon, Swift the Younger.” I watched him walk into the family room, his shoulders wide, his muscles large and taut. Man, oh man.
“Little sister’s cute,” I heard Jeff say.
Chris snorted. “Little sister’s little,” he said. “She’s in eighth grade.”
I strained to hear what Jeff said next but Chris had turned the sound back on, drowning them out.
That night I leaned against my window, looking out at the night sky. I kept hearing Jeff’s words, Little sister’s cute. I couldn’t believe this high school god thought I was cute. I mean that Greg from the mall was all right but Jeff was… I don’t know. Beyond wow. And Swift the Younger. How cool was that?
“Erin.” My mom’s voice was soft behind me. “I didn’t want to scare you.”
“Hey, Mom.” I glanced over my shoulder but didn’t move from the window.
“How was your study date with Mark?”
I blinked once, twice. Mark who? Blake who?
“Fine,” I said, turning back to the night sky. “Just fine.”
Monday, October 13
Jeff Massey. Jeff Massey.
Omg. Omg. Omg.
HOT——METER
#1 Jeff Massey
#2 Jeff Massey
#3 Jeff Massey
#4 Jeff Massey
#5 Jeff Massey
#6 Jeff Massey
#7 Jeff Massey
#8 Jeff Massey
#9 Jeff Massey
#10 Jeff Massey
I can’t stop thinking abt him. I keep seeing that body, that smile, those eyes. I keep hearing his voice saying I’m cute.
Little sister’s cute. Little sister’s cute. Little sister’s cute. Little sister’s cuuuuuuute.
Did I say I wasn’t liking any1 else 4 a long time?
Did I say I don’t care what I said?
Jeff Massey is so hot, I can feel my skin burning.
CHAPTER 27
MOON OVER MASSEY
I WAS STILL IN SOME kind of Jeff Massey haze when I got to school the next day. I didn’t even tell Jilly about him because I wanted it all to myself, at least for a little while. Besides, it was just a crush and he was way too old for me and I didn’t want another relationship anyway.
Right?
“Something going on with you, Erin P. Swift?” Mr. F squirted Windex on the glass outside the library and wiped it down.
“Nope,” I said, turning so he wouldn’t see my face. Did he know? Did it show?
“Um hm.” He said it in a way that told me he didn’t believe me.
Later I passed Reede near the gym. All she said was, “You’re over one and into another. Is it the Hottie with the Hair?”
When I shook my head automatically, she grinned. “New blood. I like it.” How does she do that?
But besides Mr. F and Reede, no one else seemed to notice. I got through the day with only a few teachers tapping their desks to get my attention and Mark teasing me once—“Earth to Erin”—right before history class. I could smell his BO and when he flipped his hair back, it kind of annoyed me and I didn’t know why. I looked at him. Three zits had erupted on the sides of his nose and he had a black thing between his teeth. They were nice teeth, and he’d never had braces, but still. The black thing. The zits. The wrinkled shirt. How could I have ever thought he was a hot tamale? He looked like a little kid. It was a good thing we were just friends.
“You’ve got a thing,” I said, pointing to his mouth.
“Thanks.” He rubbed his teeth with his finger, then bared them at me. “Is it gone?”
“Yeah,” I said, looking away quickly as I walked down the hall.
He fell into step beside me. “So, I heard you and that dude broke up.”
I shrugged. “It just didn’t work out.” An image of Jeff Massey sprung before my eyes. Those muscles, those eyes, that amazing ponytail. The way he said my name, and smiled a little crooked smile when he joked about my alien markings. It might have been flirting. If only I’d had a good comeback. If only—
“Hello? Erin?” Mark snapped his fingers in front of my eyes. “Anybody in there?”
“Sorry. I guess I’m a little distracted.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” He glanced at me. “So tell me how long I need to wait before I ask someone else out.”
Jeff and his ponytail disappeared in a poof of imaginary smoke.
“You already like someone else?” I shook my head. “And I thought girls switched crushes fast.”
“I liked her before but only kind of realized it,” Mark said, stopping to look up at a READ poster outside the library.
I stopped too, my eyes following his gaze. “Uh huh.”
“Then I thought I didn’t,” he said, “but now I think I do.” We started down the hall again.
“It’s like this undercurrent of liking that kind of came up to the surface,” he said. “Like those hot springs in the mountains.”
“Undercurrent of liking?” I said as we turned down the hall. “Where did you get that?”
Mark’s face turned red and he shrugged. “I kind of made it up.”
I laughed. “It figures.” I felt almost giddy with relief. I had absolutely no feelings for Mark Cute Boy Sacks. No sparks, no undercurrents, nothing. I felt free.
“So, how long do you think?”
“I don’t know,” I said, trying to ignore the flashes of Jeff’s face that kept popping up. “I thought you were taking a break from the whole girlfriend thing.”
“Yeah, that was my plan but now I don’t know.”
“Huh.” I wondered if Jeff might come over again and how I could find out without asking Chris, who would totally make fun of me or tell me I was stupid. “Well, do you know if she likes you? Do you think she’s waiting for you to ask her out?”
He paused, looking away so I couldn’t see his face. “I thought she did,” he said finally. “But maybe I’m wrong.”
“Oh,” I said, keeping my eyes glued to the head of the person in front of me. Was he talking about me? No, he couldn’t be. We had just had that whole “we’re proof we can be friends” talk. I must have mis-read his look. “Do you want me to see if I can find out?” I asked. “Jilly’s a master at that kind of thing.�
��
“That’s okay,” Mark said. “Taking a break is a good idea.” He stepped ahead of me into the classroom.
I slipped into my seat and opened my folder, peeling back the papers to expose the blank back of the folder itself. Using my blue sparkly pen I wrote JM is hot in large, looping letters.
Tuesday, October 14
THINGS THAT ARE REALLY ANNOYING
Like an idiot I broke my promise & asked Chris abt Jeff… “not gonna happen” was his parting phrase b4 he went out w/ Bethany.
HOT——METER
#1 Jeff Massey
#2 Jeff Massey
#3 Jeff Massey
#4 Jeff Massey
#5 Jeff Massey
#6 Jeff Massey
#7 Jeff Massey
#8 Jeff Massey
#9 Jeff Massey
#10 Jeff Massey
I hate my brother.
THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE
Jeff always talks 2 me when he calls 4 Chris on the home phone & I answer.
Calculations: Jeff will turn 17 in May & I’ll turn 14 in April so he’s 35 mos older than me—no big.
THINGS I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT
JM is basically THREE YEARS older than me—big. & even bigger after Blake the Butt said what he said.
There r 35 Masseys in the online white pages 4 Denver. But he could be unlisted. And it’s not like I’m going 2 call or go by or anything, but it would be nice 2 know where he lived.
Erin P. Massey
Erin P. Swift-Massey
Ms. Erin P. Swift and Mr. Jeffrey Massey
request your presence at their…
Yes…
CHAPTER 28
UNSECRET CRUSH
JILLY AND I WERE COMING out of PacSun at the mall on Saturday. She was teasing me about whether we should shop or boy watch when I saw a familiar ponytail across the mall.
“Omigod.” I pulled Jilly back into the store and hid behind a rack of jeans near the window. “Don’t move.”
Jilly looked at me. “Why are you whispering? Does he have super hearing?”
I looked at her. “How do you know it’s a ‘he’?”
“Duh.” She peered out between the size fours. “So, who do we really want to see even though we’re hiding?” She sucked in her breath. “Omigod. Look at that guy.”
I moved a pair of jeans away from my face. Jeff Massey stood near a planter with two other guys. “Which one?” I said, hoping my voice sounded casual.
“The hottie with the ponytail,” she said. “Who else?”
My heart pounded. No way was Jilly going to like someone I liked again. It just wasn’t going to happen. “What about Bus Boy?”
“I can still look,” Jilly said. “And man, I don’t want to take my eyes off that one.”
“Excuse me, ladies.”
We looked up. One of the sales people stood next to the jeans rack, looking down at us. “Did you need help with something?”
“Yeah,” Jilly said. “Can you get that guy’s phone number for us?”
“Jilly!” I smacked her on the arm as we stood up.
The sales clerk leaned to one side, glancing through the window toward Jeff. “Wow. I might get it, but I don’t think I’d be handing it off to anyone else.”
Jilly nudged me and giggled as we moved toward the center of the store.
“Aren’t you two a little young for him?”
“He’s only thirty-five months older than me,” I blurted out. Then clapped a hand over my mouth.
“Say what?” Jilly’s eyes bored into mine.
“I think this is my cue to leave,” the sales clerk said. “Let me know if you need any help—with clothes.” She walked away before either of us could say anything.
Jilly was still staring at me.
“I, uh, see—”
“Well, if it isn’t Swift the Younger.”
Jilly and I turned toward the voice at the same time. Jeff Massey stood a few feet away, his arms across his chest. His muscles bulged and I felt that tingle again.
“Uh, hi, Jeff.”
Jilly elbowed me.
“Oh. This is my friend, um—”
“Jillian Hennessey,” Jilly interrupted. “I’m Swift the Younger’s best friend.”
“Nice,” Jeff said. He thumbed over his shoulder. “Roy and Brandon.”
We exchanged hi’s. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t sound stupid or immature. But if I didn’t say something, Jilly would and then he’d fall in love with her and she’d be taking away someone else I liked, even though she had Bus Boy and wouldn’t go out with Jeff.
“Hey, I got the Green Street Majority CD,” Jeff said to me. “Your bro said they were one of your finds.”
I smiled. “Yeah. I came across them online. Chris says they’re awesome in concert.” I cringed. Why did I say that? Now he’d know I was a baby, too young to go to a rock concert.
Jilly stepped forward. “Erin is totally into the music scene,” she said. “She knows bands no one has even heard of.” I looked at her in surprise. Jillian Gail Hennessey was bragging about me to the hottest guy in the entire world.
I laughed. “She’s exaggerating.”
Jeff smiled. “I have a feeling you’ve got good taste.”
I looked him right in the eye. “Oh, I do.” I was about to say more when Jilly grabbed my arm.
“Well, we’ve got to bust,” she said. I almost said, We do? but she shot me a warning look.
“See ya next time, Erin,” Jeff said.
“See ya,” I said as Jilly dragged me out the door.
When we were out of earshot, I turned to Jilly. “Why’d we leave?”
“Because they were about to,” she said. “It always best to take off first. Leaves them wanting more.” She steered me down the mall. “But don’t think that gets you off the hook,” she said as we ducked into Seal. “You are in so much trouble. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about him. And what was that good taste thing?”
I groaned. “Was it too much? Was it too middle school?”
“It was perfect,” she said. “He ate it up. Now tell me what’s going on.”
“Nothing, unfortunately.” I told her how we met. “That’s why I didn’t say anything.”
“A hottie in your house that you have a major crush on?” Jilly said. “Who listened to your music advice through your brother? Erin, this is News with a capital N.”
“Okay, okay,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “Man, if I wasn’t so in love with Jon…” She smiled at me. “But I am and this guy is yours. You saw him first.” She furrowed her brow. “I wonder if he’s seeing anyone.”
“Probably,” I said. Who was I kidding? I didn’t have a chance. Even if I was in high school, I could never go out with a guy like Jeff.
“We’ll find out his status,” she said. “But first, I need to try on some jeans.”
It took Jilly exactly three hours to find out where Jeff lived, that he’d had at least one serious girlfriend back in North Carolina and had gone out with two girls since he’d been here—one a senior who was a cheerleader. He also liked grits, hated chocolate (who hates chocolate?), and was obsessed with the homemade burritos you could buy outside the Broncos games.
“You didn’t find out boxers or briefs?” I teased as we sat on her bed. I had no idea who she’d talked to to get all this information, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
Jilly laughed. “No, but I probably could.”
“I don’t want to know,” I said, putting my hand up.
Jilly rolled over on her stomach. “Well, it sure doesn’t sound like he’s going out with anyone right now.”
“That doesn’t mean he’ll go out with me.” Why were we even having this conversation? As if my parents would let me go out with anyone for real yet, let alone a junior in high school.
“You never know,” Jilly said, propping herself up on her elbow so she could
look me in the eye. “But even if he doesn’t, it’s still fun to be talking about it. You know, imagining what it would be like. Making things up until there’s something real to talk about.”
I liked how she said “until,” like it was only a matter of time.
“Let’s make some things up,” I said, grinning.
Saturday, October 18
I wish I’d told Jilly abt Jeff earlier. We had fun planning stupid, impossible ways 4 me 2 c him again. Some of Jilly’s ideas:
Set up an appointment 2 shadow @ Wash High & ask him 2 be my guide. Can u say… obvious?
Call him & ask if he wants 2 go 2 a movie. Can u say… no guts & rejection central?
Hide in Chris’s trunk the next time he goes 2 c a local band, because Jeff will probably be there. Can u say… suffocation?
Send him a mystery invitation 2 a restaurant & be waiting. Can u say… stood me up?
HOT——METER
#1 Jeff Massey
#2 Jeff Massey
#3 Jeff Massey
#4 Jeff Massey
#5 Jeff Massey
#6 Jeff Massey
#7 Jeff Massey
#8 Jeff Massey
#9 Jeff Massey
#10 Jeff Massey
Mark & I shot hoops today & well…
THINGS THAT ARE WEIRD ABOUT PLAYING HOOPS W/ A GUY YOU USED TO HAVE A MAJOR CRUSH ON WHO NOW MAY HAVE A MAJOR CRUSH ON YOU WHEN YOU HAVE A MAJOR CRUSH ON SOMEONE ELSE
He looks different, even tho he hasn’t done anything 2 look different.
He seems… young.
He checks u out when he thinks u don’t know.
He acts nervous around u.
U find yourself giving him shots cuz u don’t want 2 risk getting tangled going up 4 a block.
U can feel that he wants 2 say SOMETHING & u say stupid stuff so that he won’t say SOMETHING.
U feel bad & aren’t sure why.
....................Flirting True or False....................