by Dean, Taylor
Despite the consequences of having very little sleep, the night had become their private time when no one was around to disturb them—no ranch hands, no Constance, no Bethany—no interruptions. It had become their favorite time together and they still managed to get up and jog through the Folly every morning.
Regardless of their levity with one another, there was an intensity to their kisses and their touch that left Marisa reeling. Even though Josh kept things from going too far, they were out of control and she knew it. She was wildly in love with him.
Marisa knew what could exist between them, she knew the promise of magic that a life together held. She held onto it and savored it in her heart.
“Marisa?”
“Huh?” Marisa tried to snap out of her drowsiness and pay attention to Bethany’s work on her needlepoint. It was a profile of a horse that looked eerily similar to Carson—Bethany’s choice—no surprise there. She was making it for Josh. He’d already told her he was going to frame it and hang it in his room. This delighted Bethany to no end.
“Are you falling asleep again?”
“Oh, sorry Bethany. Maybe we should go for a bike ride in the Folly. I can’t seem to keep my eyes open.”
The consequence of two a.m. hot chocolate with Joshua Kensington.
It was worth it.
Josh and Marisa slowly meandered through the Folly, simply enjoying the warm summer evening and the tranquility of the night. Bethany was safely tucked into bed and Josh was glad to have some alone time with Marisa. Now that he was back to a full schedule after the snakebite, he missed spending every second with her. He held her hand in his as they slowly strolled, the silence comfortable. The Folly seemed especially beautiful tonight or maybe it was just because Marisa was at his side. He reflected on the past few weeks, unable to keep a small smile from forming on his face. He loved every minute with Marisa. It was relaxing to spend time with her, he felt entirely at ease in her company. Their relationship felt effortless and he knew from experience how rare that was. It was now August and the annual barbeque was only a couple of weeks away. Josh was looking forward to introducing Marisa to his friends and acquaintances in the neighboring area. Honestly, he wanted to introduce her as his fiancé, but knew he shouldn’t rush things. There was still plenty of time.
“I love it here, Josh, I absolutely love it here,” Marisa commented lightly.
Josh immediately found himself wondering if she would love it here if she lived here on a daily basis—after the novelty had worn off. The thought made him frown.
At his silence, she said, “That doesn’t make you happy?”
“Sorry, of course it does. I’m glad you like it here.”
“I don’t like it, I love it.”
“I’m glad you love it, Miss Particular,” he joked as she swatted at him playfully.
It was another thing he loved about her. He could joke and banter with her all day and she responded in kind, never becoming offended or insulted. As a matter of fact, she could give it right back to him, and she seemed to enjoy it too.
“I could live here for the rest of my life quite easily,” she said with a sigh.
Josh sobered. As far as hints go, this one was obvious. It told him that her thoughts were on the same wavelength as his. He’d wondered if she’d come to the same conclusions as he had. It would appear so. But then, he knew that, of course he did. One kiss and it was clear there was something between them, something more than the physical. They just clicked with each other. It was unexplainable. If she zigged, he zagged, and vice versa. It was a little scary, just how perfect they were for each other.
“You know, Josh, I bet the school where I teach could easily replace me if I resigned. They have a long waiting list of teachers looking for jobs and…”
“I thought you loved your job,” he interrupted. He knew what she meant by that comment. But he wasn’t ready for this discussion, not quite yet anyway, and he wasn’t sure why.
“I do. But there are other things I love more.”
She was being careful, choosing her words cautiously, but letting him know in a roundabout way that she was willing to change her life for him. He loved her for it. She was putting her heart on the line, and he wouldn’t let her down.
“I can understand that. Our jobs should be a means to an end, not the very thing we live for,” he commented.
“It takes most people years to learn that lesson. By then, they’ve sometimes lost what is most important to them.”
“What’s most important to you?” Josh asked, wondering if it was a wise question or not.
“You,” she said without hesitation.
“Me?” he laughed, just to lighten the mood. But he was touched by her answer much more than he was letting on. “Really?”
“Yes, really. Do you really not know that?”
“I do now. You mean a lot to me too, Marisa. Please know that,” he said feeling like a coward. This was the perfect opening to tell her he was madly in love with her. What was holding him back? He wasn’t sure. He was positive that she was the one for him, he just wasn’t ready to fully commit as yet. After all, they’d only known each other for a couple of months. It seemed foolish to rush things, even though it was exactly what he wanted to do. One failed marriage was making him ridiculously cautious.
Marisa stopped walking, turned and faced him. “Josh?” she whispered, her eyes searching his face. There were so many questions hidden in the simple utterance of his name. There was just a slight tone of desperation there as well, and it worried him. There was no going back now, they were invested in each other, no doubt about it. This will either end really, really well, or it will end very badly, with both of them being hurt in some way. He didn’t want the latter to occur. And there was no reason to think it would. It was obvious she was just as crazy for him as he was for her.
“Marisa,” he said, as he pressed his lips to hers. He pulled her close, as close as two bodies can be, and kissed her until she couldn’t breathe.
Let his kiss do the talking for him. For now anyway.
He planned on proposing very soon. Then she’d have all the answers she desired. And hopefully, she’d have a good answer for him too.
A simple yes would do just fine.
–12–
The entire ranch seemed to be a buzz about the annual barbeque. It was a tradition started by Joshua’s great grandfather. He held a barbeque at the end of August every year, kind of an ‘end of the summer’ bash. Back in his great grandfather’s days, the preparation for winter was an important part of survival. The barbeque became a celebration of a summer’s work well done. His father had kept up the tradition and so had Joshua.
Josh had originally told her that the people attending all owned ranches “around these parts.” Which translated meant miles and miles away. In all actuality he invited people who owned ranches within a several hundred-mile radius. It had become something that everyone very much anticipated.
Marisa and Bethany spent the day helping to set up tables, chairs, and decorations. It was great fun and there was an air of excitement surrounding everyone.
The barbeque was a huge success. Marisa had never seen so many people at the ranch—eating from the buffet, talking and laughing, kids running all over the place. The music from the live country band was just getting started, adding a festive air. Several couples were already dancing on the makeshift dance floor and children frolicked around the edges, interpreting the music in their own way. Josh held her at his side, introducing her to every single guest as they arrived. She felt like the lady of the manor and could easily assume the role. Several sets of lights had been strung up and as the sun set, they illuminated the area, giving it a magical feel.
Leila and her husband were there. When they approached and Leila noticed her and Josh holding hands, she winked at her and said, “I see you’re not just the nanny anymore.”
Josh chuckled. “She never was, my dear.”
Leila gave her a q
uick hug and whispered in her ear, “You’re a lucky girl.”
“Don’t I know it,” Marisa commented in response.
Feeling that they had done their job greeting their guests, they finally sat down to eat together. Marisa covered her texas toast in butter, smothered it with apricot preserves, and then slathered it with a layer of barbecue sauce. She folded it in half and took a big bite. Josh, who’d been watching her, said, “Okay, I give. Make one for me, Marisa-style.”
“Really?”
“Go for it, before I change my mind.”
She made another one and handed it to him. She watched him take a big bite. His eyebrows rose and he said, “Hey, that’s pretty good.” He seemed very surprised.
“Joshua, come to the dark side,” she joked as he brought his forehead down to hers and they nuzzled their faces together. His hand cradled her face as she turned her lips into his palm and kissed him lightly.
He kissed her softly on the lips and they continued to mingle, her arm linked through his. Josh had an easy way about him as he socialized with his many guests. She was proud to be at his side and wanted to stay with him forever. Tonight everyone would know about them, not that it was a secret or anything, but they hadn’t exactly announced it to the world either. He was broadcasting that they were a couple simply by his actions. It was when he took her out onto the dance floor, however, that no one could doubt what was between them.
“C’mon,” he whispered in her ear, “I want to dance with you. I wanna hold you close.”
He did just that. He held her so close, she could feel the beat of his heart against her chest. And when she looked up at him and smiled, he kissed her, a long, slow, tender kiss that took her breath away. He didn’t seem to care who was watching or even that they had an audience. All was right with the world and Marisa had never felt so happy in her life. She had Joshua, he was hers and she was his. There wasn’t anything else she wanted more in life. Her future was bright, with endless possibilities, and they all revolved around Josh.
She had great fun learning the Cotton-Eyed-Joe, with Josh as her teacher. They danced around the dance floor, laughing as they moved with the crowd in a circle. She’d never seen anything like it before.
It was late in the evening, although the party didn’t appear to be slowing down at all, when Josh was called away to tend to some problem. She waited patiently for his return, basking in the knowledge that Joshua Kensington wanted to be with her. An elderly gentleman approached and introduced himself.
“Hello there, young lady. I’m Jim Marshall. My ranch isn’t too far from here.”
Marisa knew that meant it was probably a two-hour drive, but she simply smiled at him and didn’t contradict the loosely used term, far. His hair was thick and gray, along with a bushy gray mustache. His skin was wrinkled and leathery from spending a lot of time outdoors. His eyes held a genuine twinkle as he said, “Known Josh since he was just a little tyke. Looks like you two are quite the pair.”
“You could say that,” Marisa returned, pleased.
“He looks happy. That’s a good thing.”
Unsure how to respond, she said simply, “Yep. I’m happy too.”
“The two of you make a right fine couple. His daddy would be proud.”
“Thank you,” Marisa said, touched.
“What do you do, young lady?”
“I teach first grade.”
“Whereabouts?”
“In California. I’m Mary’s foster daughter.”
“Ah, Mary. She was a sweetheart, that one. Could handle a horse like no one I’ve ever seen.”
“She taught me.”
“Well you learned from the best. So, you like teachin’ little ones?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Don’t think I’d have the patience for such a thing. Kids are too darn loud and wiggly.”
Marisa hid a smile.
“You plan on making a career out of it, young lady?”
Good question. She’d been feeling unsettled during this past year and she couldn’t quite figure out why. She loved being a teacher. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more waiting for her in life. Hence her summer trip to Texas—a time to ponder over her life and make all important decisions.
Now that she’d met Josh, she knew exactly what she wanted. It’d been a productive summer, to say the least.
It was all about love. Love had been the elusive something missing from her life. It had left her feeling unfulfilled, even though she greatly enjoyed teaching ‘loud and wiggly’ kids.
“I’d planned on it, but now I’m not so sure,” she answered vaguely.
Mr. Marshall frowned ever so slightly. “What is it that you want to do?”
Marry Josh, have lots of babies, and live here forever.
The answer written on her heart could hardly be uttered out loud. She could just imagine Mr. Marshall’s response: Oh, and does young Joshua want that too? Then she’d answer pathetically: I don’t know. We haven’t spoken of our future.
She’d sound ridiculous.
Instead, she voiced one idea that had been ruminating through her mind. “I’ve been seriously considering going back to school to earn my master’s degree in English. I imagine myself traveling the world and writing about what I see. It would be exciting and interesting. I’d like to see every country there is to see, experience every culture there is to experience, and eat every exotic food there is to taste. I’m young. Now’s the best time to do it, right?”
Mr. Marshall listened intently with a raise of his eyebrows. “Sounds like a grand adventure.”
“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” Now that she’d vocalized her thoughts, she realized how superficial the idea sounded. It wasn’t what she wanted to do with her life. Not at all. The entire prospect sounded…downright lonely. Wandering the earth, lost and alone; a drifter. The ranch held all the adventure she needed. And Josh, well he provided everything else.
“I always wanted to visit India. It has a certain appeal,” Mr. Marshall commented lazily.
Marisa felt slightly amused at a cowboy’s desire to see India. Talk about culture shock. But it was no different than a California girl wanting to see Japan. “I’ve always wanted to see Japan. My father spent time there as a foreign exchange student. He spoke of it with fondness.” Marisa smiled reminiscently. “I really want to sample their cuisine too, even though I’m not a huge fan of rice.”
“Rabbit food. Leaves me hungry every time.”
They laughed, but the concept sparked a conversation about places they’d love to visit, and just as she finished going on about traveling the world, Mr. Marshall noticed Josh. “Hey there, Mister Joshua.”
Josh joined them and Marisa turned her face up to his and added, “My plans might be changing though.”
Mr. Marshall chuckled. “Love has a way of doing that, young lady.” Then to Josh he said, “I’ve been havin’ a pleasant chat with your little miss, here. She’s quite the catch. Hold on to her.”
“I plan to,” Josh answered.
She kissed Josh softly on the lips and said, “I missed you.”
“I’ll leave you two alone now. Pleasure to meet you, young lady,” Mr. Marshall wandered off, getting lost in the crowd.
“I like him. Men like him are the salt of the earth.”
“He was one of my father’s good friends,” Josh commented.
There was something about the way he looked at her in that moment—something that told her he was disturbed.
“Josh, is something wrong? What happened? You look upset?”
His stare was intense for several moments, his expression grave. His eyebrows knit as his eyes searched her face.
“Josh?”
“It’s nothin’. Just a minor mishap with a ranch hand, a local daughter, and an upset mama.” He cleared his throat. “Will you excuse me for a little bit? I need to take care of some…things.”
“Can I help?”
“No,” he s
aid distractedly.
“Okay. Hurry back.” She smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back as he walked off in a hurry.
Marisa contemplated his mood for only a few moments before Bethany came tumbling up, an ecstatic ball of energy.
“Dance with me, Marisa!”
Bethany was enjoying the night and it was heartwarming to see her open up and socialize with others confidently.
Marisa held Bethany in her arms and twirled her around the dance floor as Bethany screamed with delight.
Josh hurried away from the party, and headed for the Folly before he exploded. His emotions were suddenly on overdrive, thoughts spinning through his mind with ferocity. Although guests meandered through the maze of sidewalks, he knew he’d be able to find a spot to be alone for a bit. Alone time was what he needed desperately.
Time to process. Time to assimilate.
Unnoticed, he slipped into a grove of trees off the beaten path. He didn’t sit. He paced like an angry man.
Josh knew Marisa was unaware that he’d been listening to her entire conversation with old Mr. Marshall. His mind wouldn’t slow down or take in what he’d just heard Marisa say and what it meant to him. He’d never heard her express her dreams and what she wanted to do in life. She’d said it with such surety, such excitement, as if she couldn’t wait to get back to college and get started. He felt as if he’d been hit with a sledge hammer.
He was completely in love with Marisa, he had no doubts. He loved her vitality and the life she brought to his home, not only to him, but to Bethany also. Suddenly, in one blinding moment he’d been brought down to earth.
He thought about the ring he’d purchased, still hidden away in one of his desk drawers. He’d bought it awhile ago, at the very beginning of their relationship, sure even then that she was the one. He’d planned to propose to her very soon.
His father used to have a saying. “Josh,” he’d say, “never jump into a lake filled with murky water till you know what’s below the surface.” Then he’d relate this saying to life. “Everyone has murky waters. Everyone. I guarantee it.” He never explained what that meant. Josh could only assume the murky waters inside of people meant their quirks, skeletons, idiosyncrasies, issues—the things that had happened to them in life that had shaped them, and made them what they are today, whether good or bad.
