Shoe Strings

by Christy Hayes

  “You had your whole life ahead of you.” Cal’s hands waving wildly in the air. “You had a future; your mother and I had dreams for you and in an instant,” he snapped his fingers, “they were gone. Then you follow it up with a three-year absence.”

  “Would you have been more pleased if I’d talked her into an abortion?”

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

  “The only thing I know is that I worked my ass off to live up to your standards, to be the kind of husband and father you were, and it was never enough. I was never good enough and the trying all but put me under.” He walked to the rail and studied the night sky, the same sky he’d shared tender kisses under with Angelita not long ago. How had things turned so ugly so fast? “I never intended to stay away forever and I’ve been working on making it up to Ty and Kerri Ann every day since I’ve been back.” He turned around to face his dad again. “They don’t hold it against me, dangle it in front of me every time something goes wrong. Why do you?”

  “I’ve never said a word to you about it, not until now.”

  “Just because you didn’t say it, doesn’t mean I didn’t know how you felt.” Jesse ran his hands through his hair. He felt tired, right down to the bone. “I’ll get Ty and get out of your hair.”

  “Jesse,” Cal said as he opened the screen door.

  Jesse stopped, but didn’t turn.

  “I’ve never been sorry about Ty. You can’t believe that.”

  “I don’t.” The banging of the screen door at his back signaled more than one door closing in his life.

  Chapter 14

  Kerri Ann absently wiped a spot off the bar. She pulled herself out of the motion when the surface started to squeak. “I think it’s clean,” Emilio said as he passed by on his way to refill his tea glass.

  “Oh…yes.” She looked down at the glistening surface. “I guess it is.”

  “Miss?” A woman Kerri Ann recognized from the new health food store down the road sat alone at a table near the jukebox. “Can I get a menu over here?”

  “Of course.” Kerri Ann looked around the restaurant. How long had she been standing there? The big group by the window had left and the table had been bussed. Had she done it? She walked around the bar and delivered the menu to the woman, took her drink order, and then stood in front of the soda fountain at a loss for what to pour. Did she say Coke or Dr. Pepper?

  Damn it. She filled the glass with Coke and cursed Bryce for the hundredth time that day. This was all his fault. Why did he have to kiss her last night? And not just kiss her, but kiss her, kiss her to the point where she couldn’t concentrate on anything. She’d been in a daze since his car had pulled away from the curb and she’d been left to handle the insurmountable tasks of daily living, like putting one foot in front of the other and…sleeping and eating. Having him kiss her was like touching the sun for one glorious moment after being kept in the dark for years.

  But now what?

  Was she supposed to call him and thank him for a wonderful evening as if nothing had happened? If he popped into the restaurant after work like he usually did, was she supposed to act normal? Was she supposed to pretend her whole world hadn’t tilted on its axis? Damn him. He’d asked her to think about the kiss and then let him know if they’d been on a date. Well, date or no date, that kiss had left her thinking of nothing but him.

  What if she went to him? What if she walked the two blocks to his office and professed her undying love for him right there on the spot? Then what? Would he kiss her like that again or was it all just a trick to prove the evening qualified as a textbook “date”? She couldn’t stand the thought of him laughing at her, saying it was all just to prove a point. But she couldn’t imagine him laughing at her expense, not Bryce. There’d been something there, a heat under the spark. He’d never have kissed her like that if there wasn’t. But knowing that didn’t make the next step any easier or any clearer.

  She could have jumped for joy when Lita walked through the door, all duded up in a t-shirt that looked like a tuxedo top, a red and black striped sweater jacket, and hip-hugging black jeans. She’d completed the outfit with three-inch patent yellow pumps. If Kerri Ann hadn’t been so distracted, she would have laughed.

  “Thank God you’re here.” Kerri Ann dragged Lita behind the bar and into the kitchen. “I need to talk to you.”

  “What in the world is wrong?” Lita pulled the sweater back on her shoulders after Kerri Ann had tugged it off.

  “Where do you get this stuff?” Kerri Ann fingered the ruffles on Lita’s t-shirt.

  “We’ll talk clothes another day.” She shooed Kerri Ann’s hand from her shirt. “Tell me about your date. I’ve been dying to know how it went.” Lita stood in front of Kerri Ann, her face alight with excitement.

  “I don’t even know where to start.”

  “Well, from the beginning, of course. And don’t leave anything out.”

  So she told her everything, her nerves, the food prices, his lingering looks, the interruption from Colleen Ferst, and their conversation in the bathroom.

  “What?” Lita asked appalled. “She actually asked if you were on a date with Bryce? The way you two were dressed and seated at a cozy table by the fireplace? I’ll bet she turned green with envy when you set her straight.”

  Kerri Ann hesitated, fiddled with the sauce ladle. “Well…actually, I told her we were just friends.”

  Lita’s brows rose, her stare remained steady. “Kerri Ann, please tell me you’re kidding!” When she shrugged, Lita dropped her head in her hands. “What am I going to do with you?” She looked up, clearly disappointed. “What happened?”

  “She left the restroom—after complimenting my shoes,” she added hopefully. “When I got back to the table, she wasn’t there, but I saw Bryce tuck her business card in his suit jacket when he stood up.”

  “Unbelievable.” Lita shook her head.

  “I know. Can you believe her nerve?”

  “Not her, you idiot—you. I can’t believe you told her you and Bryce were just friends. You practically handed him over to her on a silver platter.”

  “What was I supposed to do? Tell her we’re dating? We’re not.”

  “Says you. Tell me the rest.”

  “Well, I turned down dessert because I felt sick to my stomach and Bryce knew something was wrong. But he never admitted Colleen came back and asked him out. For all I know, they made plans to meet sometime.”

  “For all you know, he set her straight about it being a date and sent her on her way,” Lita shot back with her hands on her hips.

  She wasn’t giving the support Kerri Ann had hoped for. “Anyway…he wanted to go get a drink and listen to jazz, but I just couldn’t. I felt so…inadequate. We came home.”

  Lita eyed her suspiciously. “If you just came home, then why do you look guilty and…like there’s more to tell?”

  “Well…” Kerri Ann didn’t know how to explain what happened and, from Lita’s reaction to the details, she was pretty sure she’d take Bryce’s side on the end of the date as well. “He offered to follow me home from the restaurant. I told him it was silly for him to bother because it wasn’t like it was a real date or anything.”

  Lita’s eyes got huge, like big malt balls swimming in her picture-perfect face. “Oh my goodness…”

  “And that’s when he got mad.”

  “I’ll bet he did. What’d he say?”

  “Nothing at first, so I got out of the car and started to head inside when he grabbed me. He turned me around so fast I lost my balance and stumbled into him.” She’d been shredding strips of pepperoni as she spoke and the pieces began falling onto the floor. She didn’t even care, just watched them pile up on the tile between her feet. “He kissed me, Lita. Really kissed me. It was…like something out of a movie. I saw stars, really I did, and he smelled so good close up like we were. Then he pulled back just as I was getting into it. He said I should think about that kiss and figure out if we’d
been on a date or not.”

  Lita smiled, very slowly, very knowingly. “Bryce, you man of action.” She huffed out a satisfied breath and clapped Kerri Ann’s shoulder. “Thank God one of you still had your wits about you.”

  “I’m glad you’re enjoying this, but I need help here.” She moved to the storage closet to retrieve the broom and dustpan. “I don’t know what to do.”

  Lita tilted her head and smirked. “You’re a grown woman with a child. I’m pretty sure you remember what comes after a passionate kiss.”

  “Don’t be crude. I mean, do I go to him or wait for him to come to me? And either way, what do I say?”

  “Why don’t you thank him for the date—and make sure you call it a date and suggest you do it again sometime. Sometime soon.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he’s the man. He’s the one who’s supposed to ask me out, not the other way around.”

  “Says who? He put his cards on the table, Kerri Ann. Now you have to be the one to ante up or fold.”

  “Ante up or fold? This isn’t a bad western movie, Lita. What does that even mean?”

  “Kerri Ann.” Lita grabbed the broom handle and, in the process, stopped Kerri Ann from using it on her. “Follow your heart. You love him, don’t you?”

  “I never said that.”

  “You didn’t have to. You do, don’t you?”

  “Probably…yes, alright…yes, I do love him. But I can’t just go throwing the L word around. What if he just wants to sleep with me?”

  “Of course he wants to sleep with you. But do you really think that’s all there is?”

  “No.” She didn’t think that was the case and that was the whole problem. Just because Bryce had shown interest in her didn’t mean their issues had changed. She still didn’t stand a chance with him, not for the long haul. “So I should just ask him out?”

  Lita tapped her finger on her chin, then snapped her fingers. “Invite him to dinner at your place. Make sure Ty is out for the night with Jesse or Cal and seduce him.”

  “I can’t do that. I wouldn’t even know how.”

  “Kerri Ann, Bryce has already made it clear he wants you. All you have to do is admit it was a date. Say you’d like to make it up to him by having him over for dinner and just let the night play out.”

  Lita made it sound so simple, so easy and natural. But nothing about her and Bryce had ever been easy. Could she really pull it off?

  ***

  Jesse pulled the last of the wet suits from the trough and hung them to dry on the line that stretched from the shop to an adjacent tree. His summer employees would soon take over the chores that filled his days at the very beginning of the season, but for now it felt good to do something physical, something honest.

  The air felt warm against his bare chest and the sky was so blue it held him captive whenever he looked at it. He hoped spring wouldn’t yield to a late winter cold snap as sometimes happened in March. He relied on good weather for a profitable and enjoyable season. For personal reasons, he hoped the weather would hold for his raft trip with Lita in the morning.

  He tried to be excited about spending time with her, but thanks to Cal and their confrontation last night, he’d been in a funk all day. It wasn’t like Jesse to brood about the past. He’d made amends with his former wife and son, made a life for himself back home where he was available to them at any and all hours of the day. Why did Cal have to go and rehash all the mistakes he’d made and throw them back in his face?

  Jesse hung the new helmets he’d bought on peg hooks and sorted the older ones on a shelf behind the desk. The new ones were color-coded according to size, something that would save him and his staff time when they were trying to get a big group off on schedule. He thought of the way he’d left town years ago as he picked up a fallen helmet. He knew he hadn’t handled it well, but looking back, he wasn’t so sure those years away were a mistake. They were necessary and ultimately allowed him to settle and become the person he’d always wanted to be. In his heart, he knew that wouldn’t have been possible if he’d stayed.

  He glanced at his watch. It was nearly time to pick up Ty from school. He was anxious to spend the night with his son, make sure he hadn’t overheard any of the fight between him and Cal last night. Jesse couldn’t stand to think Ty had heard and thought he wasn’t wanted or loved. Ty hadn’t acted different or upset on the ride home, but Jesse hadn’t been in the right frame of mind to pick up any clues.

  He’d fought with his dad before; certainly, over the years, there’d been many arguments. Even the first month or two after Jesse came back home for good, Cal seemed so sure Jesse would bolt again, he didn’t dare mention all the stuff he got off his chest last night. It’d been building for years. But what Jesse couldn’t understand was why last night? What had caused Cal’s dam to burst?

  Had Lita and her undeniable charm gotten under Cal’s skin too? Had she told Cal about her father and his protective instincts had kicked in? God knew he wouldn’t be getting the answers out of Cal anytime soon. Jesse hung the last helmet, threw on his shirt, locked up the shop, and headed for the Scout.

  As he pulled onto the familiar high school grounds minutes later, he saw kids milling around the parking lot and under the trees that surrounded the old brick building. Some massed in groups, while others perched alone with their cell phones. No one seemed in a hurry to leave.

  He could remember the feeling, ending the day at this same school fifteen years ago. They’d been so anxious for the last bell to ring and yet had meandered through the tree-laden campus like they hadn’t been chomping at the bit to get out of there only minutes before. It seemed like just yesterday he and Bryce and Kerri Ann would huddle around these same trees and make plans. More often than not, he’d been forced to leave first, with either practice beckoning or his long list of chores at home. He’d leave Bryce to see to Kerri Ann, make sure she got home okay.

  Jesse remembered Lita saying Bryce and Kerri Ann had gone on a date. He wanted to see Kerri Ann happy and Lord knew about the only man willing to take her on was Bryce Jenson. He was solid as a damn rock. His love for Kerri Ann ran as deep as the still waters of the Powollachee. So much of their lives, his, Kerri Ann’s, and Bryce’s, had been affected by the gangly young boy who bounded down the school steps, his backpack slung carelessly over one shoulder.

  He was getting so big. Jesse could see the changes in Ty’s body, hear it in his voice, feel it in the way their relationship shifted toward friendship. It overwhelmed him, the intense love and pride he had for his son. What would Jesse do, he wondered, as Ty stopped to chat with a group of pretty girls, if Ty became a young father and all their expectations for his life changed without warning?

  Ty’s grades never dipped below a B and he’d proved to be an unusually gifted athlete. His baseball and football coaches had already dropped hints that he’d be scholarship material. Jesse had balked at such talk, particularly because he’d heard the same rumors and felt the same pressure when he’d been in school. He’d loved sports, all of them, but talk of a scholarship had taken some of the fun out of playing.

  It had meant so much to Cal and Ellie to see Jesse excel. He’d wanted to please them. Hell, he mused, pleasing them was half the reason he and Kerri Ann continued to date into his senior year. They’d both grown apart, were growing up enough to want to experience something else, someone outside their comfort zone. Ty changed all that, for everyone.

  “Hey, Dad.” Ty hopped into the Scout and buckled his seat belt. “Sorry about that.” He motioned with his head to where the girls, all three of them, watched the jeep pull away from the curb.