Deep Fried Homicide

by Jessica Beck

  “If it were, it wouldn’t be a very funny one. Go see for yourself. She’s standing right over there,” Grace said as she pointed toward the road.

  “Both of you need to stay here,” Officer Grant said urgently as he headed off to see who might be spying on us.

  Grace looked puzzled. “Suzanne, what’s going on?”

  “Grace, is it possible that you just saw Heather Masterson outside?”

  “I thought she was still locked up.”

  That’s when I realized that I’d forgotten to tell her in all the craziness that my life had been experiencing lately. It was a bad mistake, and I was glad that it hadn’t proven to be a fatal one. “She was, but she escaped. I’m sorry that I forgot to tell you.”

  Now Grace looked worried. “Should I have done something about it?”

  “What else could you have done, run her over?”

  Grace shrugged lightly. “I’m never going to forgive, or forget, that she almost killed my best friend. I believe that a little payback might be in order.”

  Officer Grant came back a minute later, but he wasn’t alone.

  Wearing handcuffs and dressed in clothes that obviously didn’t belong to her, Heather Masterson was being led up the drive toward us.

  “I got her,” the police officer said triumphantly.

  “You just think you got me,” Heather snarled at him as she tried to jerk away.

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” he said as he put her in the back of his patrol car.

  “I want to talk to you, Suzanne!” Heather yelled out.

  “Do yourself a favor and just ignore her,” Grace said.

  “No, I want to see what she has to say,” I answered as I climbed off of the porch and approached the squad car.

  “I wouldn’t advise you doing this, Suzanne,” Officer Grant said solemnly as I neared him.

  “I understand, but I’m doing it, anyway,” I said. I wasn’t reckless enough to get close enough to Heather for her to lunge out at me, though. Stopping three feet away from where she sat, I asked, “Why were you watching the cottage? What were you going to do to me?”

  “As a matter of fact, I already did it,” she said with a snarl. “You’re just too stupid to realize it yet.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” The woman was unbalanced; that much was clear.

  “You’re the one who’s supposed to be so clever. You figure it out,” Heather said, and then she tried to spit on me. “How’s your boyfriend doing?” she asked with a wicked grin.

  My thoughts went immediately to Jake, alone inside the house.

  As I ran for the front door, I screamed at Heather, “If you hurt him in any way, I promise you that I’ll come back and kill you.”

  Chapter 14

  Jake must have woken up from my scream. As I burst into the cottage, he called out from the master bedroom, “What’s going on out there?”

  “Officer Grant just caught Heather Masterson, along with a little help from Grace,” I said as I tried to catch my breath. “Jake, are you okay?”

  “Well, I’m a little hungry, but other than that, I’m fine,” he said as he came out of the bedroom. “Are there any donuts left?”

  I had to laugh. “I’ve got a fresh batch outside. I’ll bring them right in.”

  “Hang on. I’m coming outside with you.” He stood a little firmer this time, but slipping the robe over his shoulders was too much. “Suzanne, give me a hand, would you?”

  “Is he all right?” Grace asked as she burst into the cottage before we could leave.

  “I’m fine,” Jake said lightly. “Why is everybody so worried about me all of a sudden?”

  “Heather acted as though she hurt you,” I explained.

  “Thank goodness she was lying,” Grace said. “I’ll go tell Stephen that everything is fine here, and then I have to get to work.”

  “We’ll go out with you,” Jake said. “I want to see Heather for myself.”

  We all walked outside together, and though the back door of the cruiser was now firmly closed, it was easy to see that Heather was fuming as she sat inside.

  “We got her, sir,” Officer Grant said proudly.

  “Well done,” Jake replied. “Did she say anything to you after you caught her?”

  “She’s been rambling a little, but the woman is clearly off, so I wouldn’t pay any attention to anything that she says,” Officer Grant said.

  “She still might have useful information for us,” Jake said.

  I volunteered, “Like I said before, she implied that she’d already hurt you when Officer Grant caught her. It might have been an empty threat, but it still scared the life out of me.”

  “She didn’t do a thing to me, Suzanne,” he said.

  “I know that, now.”

  At that moment, the police chief himself drove up, his lights flashing and his siren wailing. As he popped out of his car, he asked, “What’s the status here?”

  “The escaped prisoner is safe and secure in the back of my cruiser,” Officer Grant reported.

  “Good work. Take her to the jail, and I’ll join you there shortly.”

  Officer Grant nodded, and as he drove off with Heather, he saluted me.

  I knew there was still one threat still out there, but having Heather back in custody allowed me to breathe a little easier.

  “Well, that was a little more excitement than I expected this morning,” Jake said as we went back into the cottage. “I can’t believe Heather came after you like that.”

  “I have a hunch that she came looking for us,” I said. “I’m just glad somebody stopped her before she could do anything to harm either one of us.”

  “Did she happen to have a weapon on her?” Jake asked me.

  “Not that I heard. Why?”

  Jake frowned for a moment before he answered me. “She wasn’t going to strangle us, Suzanne. If the woman was going to try to hurt us, she would have had to have something on her. It’s too hard to believe that she planned to break in here and find something to use against us. I need to talk to Chief Martin.”

  “Mind if I tag along?”

  “Are you kidding? I’m counting on it,” Jake said as he opened the front door. The chief was on the phone, and he looked startled to see us rejoining him so soon.

  In a near-whisper, he concluded his telephone conversation by saying, “I thought you’d like to know. I’ll tell her. Okay, I’ll tell them both. Love you.” After he put his phone away, he said a little sheepishly, “That was your mother.”

  “I certainly hope so,” I said. “Were you bringing her up to date on what happened?”

  “She wanted me to keep her posted,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Hey, I should be thanking you. After all, you saved me a phone call,” I replied.

  “I thought you two were going to stay inside?” the chief asked. “Don’t worry about a guard. I’m staying put until Terry gets here.”

  At least someone was treating the state police inspector as an equal by using his first name.

  Jake spoke up and asked his question. “Did Heather have any kind of weapon on her when Officer Grant arrested her?”

  The chief frowned. “No, he told me that she was clean.”

  “Then what was she doing here?” Jake asked. “We need to investigate the area where Heather was hiding. I’d feel a lot better if we found something she discarded when she was discovered.”

  “That’s a good point,” the chief said.

  “Grace saw her over there,” I said as I motioned to some bushes close to the road.

  “Then let’s walk over there and have a look around,” Jake said.

  “Are you up to doing that?” I asked him.

  “Suzanne, I appreciate your concern, but I’m tired of just sleeping and eating.” He paused, and then added, “Well, I’m not done with either one of them quite yet, but I do need to start moving around some again.”

  “I get that,” I said.


  “I bet you’re ready to get back to work already yourself, aren’t you?” my boyfriend asked me with a grin.

  “I’m fine,” I said, completely skirting the question. “If you’re up to it, let’s go, but we don’t have to rush. If you need to go at your own pace, we’re both fine with that, right, Chief?”

  “Absolutely,” Chief Martin replied. “We’ve got all of the time in the world.”

  When the three of us got to the bushes, it was clear from the crumpled low-lying brush that Heather had been standing there for some time. I found a few pieces of wrapped candy in the grass that looked as though they’d fallen out of her pockets, so she’d obviously made herself right at home. Chief Martin tucked them into an evidence bag as I asked Jake, “What exactly are we looking for?”

  “Anything that might be used as a conventional weapon,” Jake said.

  We started searching the immediate area, but there was nothing there out of the ordinary. When the three of us met up in the road again, Jake was frowning. “That’s odd.”

  “It does beg the question why she was here,” the chief said.

  “Maybe she wasn’t intent on hurting us after all,” I suggested. “She could have just been spying on us.”

  Jake shook his head. “That’s not her style though, is it? She poisoned her aunt and she threatened you with a knife. This isn’t a woman who just watches things to see what happens.”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe being locked up changed her.”

  “That could be it,” Jake reluctantly admitted. “Who knows? Maybe she planned to use one of your kitchen knives on us once she got inside.”

  “Then I’m glad that we had a guard posted out front, and I’m even happier that Grace happened to drive up at the perfect time,” I said.

  “So am I,” the chief said.

  We were all back on the porch when Officer Hanlan drove up. “It appears that I missed all of the excitement this morning,” he said as he approached us.

  “How did you hear about it so quickly?” I asked him.

  He grinned. “I keep my police band radio tuned into the local channels so I can keep up with what’s going on in the area I’m working.”

  “But you’re not working right now,” Jake said with a grin. “You are on the oddest vacation that I’ve heard of, but you’re not on the clock.”

  “Like you wouldn’t do the same thing for me,” Terry said to him warmly.

  “Probably.”

  “Definitely,” Terry said, and then he turned to me. “Suzanne, are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I said.

  “That’s good.” The state inspector turned to the police chief. “I’m here to relieve you. I’m sure you’ve got a prisoner you’d like to interview. If you don’t mind, I’d like a word with her myself later, if we could arrange a substitute sentry.”

  “That would be fine,” Chief Martin said. “What did you want to talk to her about?”

  “I’d like to know what she was doing here, and how she planned to hurt these folks,” Terry told him. “I gather from what I heard over the radio that she wasn’t armed. Have you searched the area for a weapon?”

  “Great minds think alike,” Jake said with a grin. “We just checked the vicinity. There was nothing there.”

  “Not unless you count a few pieces of candy,” I said with a laugh. I’d never seen Jake interact with a peer, and it was enlightening. “Would you guys like some coffee? I’m about to brew a fresh pot for myself, but I might be persuaded to share.”

  “That sounds great, but I have to be on my way,” the police chief said reluctantly.

  “How about you, Jake? Keep me company while Suzanne’s busy inside?” Terry asked.

  “Sounds good,” he said.

  “Don’t worry,” Terry told me. “I won’t keep him long. I’d hate for him to miss his morning nap.”

  “I think I’m pretty well rested at the moment, but thanks for thinking of me,” Jake answered with a sarcastic smile.

  As Chief Martin drove off, I left the two men on the porch together. It would be great for Jake to have that interaction, and the more I thought about it, it was something that I could use as well. After I made the coffee, I had an idea of what to do next, if Jake was game for it.

  The coffee made, I put three mugs on the tray and added the box of donuts Officer Grant had brought earlier. The two men were deep in conversation as I walked out, but it stopped abruptly when they realized that I was there. “Don’t stop chatting on my account,” I said as I handed out the mugs.

  “Don’t mind us. We’re just brainstorming,” Jake said.

  “About what, exactly?”

  “How to flush Rusk out,” Terry said. “We both realize that if we don’t do something soon, our boss is going to swoop in here and run him off for good, and that’s not going to help any of us sleep better at night.”

  “Have you come up with anything yet?”

  “Not so far, but we’re working on it,” Jake said. When he spotted the Donut Hearts box, he asked me, “Donuts for breakfast again?”

  “Are you actually complaining about that?” I asked him with a smile.

  “No. It’s not that. They’re good, but they can’t hold a candle to the ones that you make,” he said. How did he manage to feign reluctance as he picked up a lemon-filled donut?

  “You don’t have to eat it, you know,” I answered with a hint of laughter in my voice.

  “I don’t want to offend Emma and her mother,” Jake said, and then he took a large bite.

  “I’d hate to do that myself,” Terry said as he grabbed one for himself.

  “Should I leave you two alone so you can get on with your planning session?” I asked. “I don’t mind. All you have to do is ask.”

  “Thanks, but we both need to mull over this before we talk again,” Jake said.

  After we ate, sharing a little pleasant conversation that didn’t involve crazed murderers, Jake said, “That was good, but I’m getting a little restless. Suzanne, how would you feel about taking a little walk in the park?”

  “Funny, I was just going to suggest it myself,” I said. “Jake, are you sure that you’re up to it?”

  “If I’m not, there are plenty of benches where I can rest that are scattered all over the place, so I think I’ll be fine.”

  “You don’t mind if I tail you both, do you?” Terry asked.

  “We’re perfectly safe in the park,” Jake replied.

  “You probably are, but I’m not going to have Rusk take a run at you on my watch.” There was a new air to the state police inspector’s tone, one that didn’t allow any room for debate. I’d heard it in Jake’s voice a few times in the past myself, and it amazed me that Terry had it as well.

  “What about the cottage?” I asked.

  “He won’t mess with it if you’re both out,” Terry said. “Just to be sure, though, I’ll sweep it myself when we get back. No worries on that account.”

  “Jake, is that okay with you?” I asked.

  My boyfriend shrugged his shoulders as he said, “It seems that I don’t have any choice in the matter.” Before Terry could reply, Jake turned to him and said, “You know how it is. I appreciate your point of view, and of course, you’re right. I know it in my heart, but I’m just not crazy about admitting it. Right now, I’m well aware of the fact that I couldn’t bring down a teenage girl shoplifting lipstick in a department store.”

  “Don’t sweat it, my friend. You’ll be back before you know it,” Terry said, putting a kindly hand on Jake’s good arm.

  “You bet I will.” Forcing himself to smile, Jake turned to me and asked, “Now, who’s ready to take a walk?”

  “I am,” I said happily. It would be good for both of us to get outside for a little exercise and fresh air. “While we’re out, we can stop by Donut Hearts and see how they’re doing.”

  “Please, just no more donuts,” Jake said overdramatically.

  “Don’t worry. You’re saf
e. I just want to chat with Emma and Sharon,” I admitted.

  “So, there’s an ulterior motive to this walk, is that it?”

  “No, the main motive is to get you moving,” I told him. “Me being able to pop into my donut shop will just be a happy bonus. Besides, you two don’t have to go inside. You can sit out front and get back to making your grand plans.”

  “In that case, I’m on board one hundred percent,” Jake said with a grin. “Let’s go.”

  It was a beautiful morning to take a walk in the park, with the sun warming the day nicely as we strolled around at a leisurely pace. Terry was kind enough to give us some space, and for a brief time, I nearly forgot that he was even there. We only had to stop twice to rest on our brief walk to the donut shop, and I was proud of Jake for doing so well so soon after going through such a traumatic experience.

  “Hey, you did great,” I said when we got there as he collapsed onto one of the chairs I kept out front for folks who liked to dine on their donuts al fresco.

  “I guess so,” he said, a little out of breath. “You wouldn’t happen to have any water in there, would you?”

  “I’ll go grab you a bottle,” I said as Terry joined us. “Would you like anything from inside?”

  “No thanks. I’m good,” he said as he glided down onto the chair beside Jake.

  “Showoff,” Jake said with a hint of a grin. It was clear that he was pleased with his progress, no matter how much he might complain about it.

  “You’ll be back in the saddle in no time,” Terry said. “Don’t worry; you’ll get your wind back soon if you can keep up that pace.”

  “I’d better.”

  “And so the prodigal returns,” Emma said with a smile as I walked into Donut Hearts. It felt odd being on the wrong side of the counter while the store was open.

  “I need to grab a water for Jake, and then I’ll be right back,” I said as I took a bottled water from the open fridge beside the counter. “Put this on my tab.”

  “You got it, boss,” she said. Emma and I kept tabs on what we took from the shop, more because of inventory control than actually collecting money. I liked things to add up, especially when we ran our totals at the end of every month.