Inked Expressions

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  And Everly wept.

  Now

  “I need you to breathe in, baby,” Everly said softly as she held Nathan to her chest. Her three-year-old wheezed into the nebulizer, and she tried not to let herself go numb again. She refused to allow that sensation to take hold as it had once before. She didn’t have time to ignore the panic running through her veins, but she could take that panic and turn it into the focus she needed.

  Nathan looked up at her, his big eyes full of fear, an emotion that made her want to cry right along with him. James, her other sweet baby boy, held onto her shirt from where he stood beside the bed, tears running down his face.

  We’ve all been here before, she thought, though tonight seemed like a far worse asthma attack than usual. She held back a curse and bundled Nathan in a blanket in her arms.

  “Okay, Nathan honey, we’re going to go to the doctor just to make sure you’re okay.” She kissed his little face, a thousand things going through her mind as to what needed to be done.

  “Uncle Storm,” James said from her side. “I want Uncle Storm.”

  Everly looked down at James before looking at Nathan, who nodded beneath the mask. She honestly didn’t want to call Storm because that’s all she’d been doing for the past three years, at least until a month ago, but tonight wasn’t about her. It was about her boys and the fact that, frankly, she needed help.

  “I’ll call from the car, now come on, babies. Let’s go.” She bundled them up quickly and got them into the car within five minutes. The fact that she’d gotten into such a routine because of her two boys’ health issues made her heart hurt, but she ignored it. The twins came first.

  Always.

  And that meant if she had to call Storm for help once again, she would.

  Even if it pained her to do so.

  Chapter Two

  Storm Montgomery groaned as he reached around the other person in his bed to grab the phone off his nightstand. He only had an outlet on one side of the bed, and now he was seriously regretting the fact that he hadn’t fixed that.

  “Yeah?” he growled into the phone. It was after three in the morning, and he and Jillian hadn’t gone to bed until a couple of hours ago. The fact that they’d been up all night talking and not having sex wasn’t new in their relationship—if you could call it a relationship at all.

  Jillian rolled over, rubbing a hand over her face as she gave him a worried look.

  “Storm?” Everly’s voice had a hint of panic, but also that matter-of-fact tone he’d associated with her since she’d had the boys.

  He sat up quickly and rubbed at his eyes, trying to clear the sleep from his brain. “What’s up, Ev?” He blinked, annoyed with himself for calling her Ev. He hadn’t really done so since Jackson’s funeral—it had been so awkward between them without Jackson as a buffer. He would blame it on his sleep deprivation, but hell, for the past month, everything had been weird between them.

  “It’s Nathan. I’m on my way to the ER.” She sounded calm, and he could hear the sounds of driving in the background. He didn’t bother asking why Nathan needed to go to the ER. The kid had severe asthma attacks often enough that he’d been through this before with the two of them. James might not have asthma, but he’d had two surgeries already on his ear and had another one coming up that was a damn serious one. He hated that his two godsons each had health issues and that ER visits weren’t out of the norm.

  He threw off the covers and tried to find his jeans in the dark. Jillian muttered something under her breath and turned on the lamp beside her so they could see. He nodded his thanks at her and tried to pull on his jeans without tripping.

  “Am I on speakerphone?”

  “Yep,” Everly said, her voice tight. Hell, he hated that she was alone for this. She’d been alone for so much these days, and he couldn’t help her.

  “Which hospital?” he asked, pulling on his shirt. Jillian dressed beside him, and he didn’t know if she planned to come with him or go home. Everly told him the hospital, and he had her hang up so she could focus on driving and the boys. He’d just put on his shoes when he looked back at Jillian. “Are you heading home?”

  She gave him a weird look. “No, I’m going with you. I know Everly, too. And those boys. I couldn’t hear what was going on, but I know it’s not something you want to wait to hear about.”

  Storm frowned, not knowing if Everly would like that he was bringing Jillian with him. Hell, he hadn’t had enough sleep to think anything through really, and if Jillian wanted to go, he wasn’t about to stop her. It wasn’t as if he could anyway.

  “Nathan’s having an asthma attack. Everly is on the way to the emergency room.”

  “She has James with her then?” Jillian asked by his side as they rushed out the door and to his truck.

  “Where else would he be, Jillian? She doesn’t have anyone else.” His voice came out sharper than he’d intended, and Jillian glared at him.

  “I didn’t know if she had a neighbor or something. For fuck’s sake, Storm. Are you going to be okay to drive, or do you want me to? I know those boys are like your own.”

  Storm shot her a look and started the engine before backing out. “They’re Everly and Jackson’s. I’m just their godfather.”

  Jillian held up her hands. “You know what, I’m a little too tired and worried to get into that whole mess with you right now, so just drive.”

  He got onto the highway in silence, his grip on the steering wheel hard enough that he knew his hands would hurt in the morning. Or, he guessed, later that morning. “You going to tell me what you meant by that?”

  Jillian didn’t look at him, her attention on the road and her jaw tight. “Nope. This isn’t the time, and I need a hell of a lot more coffee before I get into anything.”

  He let out a curse but didn’t say anything back. The two of them had been good friends for a few years, and whenever they were single—which was more often than not in his case these days—they ended up sleeping together every once in a while. They’d never really dated and were more friends who liked sex than anything, but he’d never once felt like he and Jillian had wanted anything more out of the relationship. His brothers and friends might not understand it, but they didn’t need to. The only two people who truly needed to understand their relationship were him and Jillian. Though in the past month or so—ever since he’d introduced her to Everly thanks to a plumbing problem—they hadn’t seen each other or talked on the phone all that much. Tonight had been the first night they’d hung out in a month, and they hadn’t even had sex—both exhausted and not in the mood for anything more than sleep. She’d fallen asleep in his bed rather than the guest room more out of habit than anything, he supposed.

  If he weren’t so tired, he’d probably not let his mind wander to the fact that he was in a damn rut and Jillian was right there with him. He tried not to think about the fact that he and his twin, Wes, were the only two Montgomerys in his immediate family that hadn’t settled down yet. Sure, the majority of the cousins hadn’t married off yet either, but he didn’t interact with them enough these days for it to count when it came to feeling as though he was a little behind.

  Everyone else, though? That tended to grate. He was looking forty in the face soon, and he truly didn’t want to go it alone. Of course, he probably had to start dating someone other than Jillian—who he wasn’t actually dating—for that to work.

  “Here it is,” Jillian said from his side. “Don’t miss the exit.”

  He turned off the highway and took the short road to the Emergency Room parking lot. Thankfully, the new hospital nearest to him and Everly was easy to get to. He hoped she was already there and figured she would be, considering it had taken him time to get on the road.

  Storm pushed all thoughts of his own life out of his head as they made their way into the Emergency Room waiting room. He wasn’t firing on all cylinders tonight, and thinking too hard would probably piss him off.

  “I need to see Everly an
d Nathan Law,” Storm said as soon as he made his way to the admin desk.

  “Are you family?” the on-call nurse asked, and Storm cursed. No, they weren’t technically family, and now they were going to waste precious time making sure he could go back there and see the kids.

  “He’s with us,” Everly said from the doorway, her eyes wide as she took in Jillian by his side. “They both are.”

  The nurse frowned. “That’s too many people back in the room, miss.”

  “I’ll stay in the waiting room,” Jillian said quickly. “Storm should be back there to take care of James, right?”

  “Right,” Storm agreed.

  The nurse let him go, and he nodded at Jillian, who waved at Everly, her face sad. “Give him my best,” Jillian said. “Both of those little guys.”

  “Will do,” Everly said tightly before looking at Storm. “Thank you for coming. The boys wanted you here.”

  The boys. Not her. Couldn’t blame her since they hadn’t been all that friendly lately.

  “Of course, I’m here. How’s he doing?”

  Everly wrapped her arms around her waist and looked toward the room where Nathan lay sleeping in the large bed, his body looking far too small.

  “Good. Sleeping. They got him stable right away, and James is sleeping on the couch right behind that curtain. You can see his little feet if you duck down.”

  Storm did, feeling like an idiot, but relaxing a bit as soon as he saw for himself that both boys were there.

  “That was fast,” he said softly.

  Everly played with the bottom of her shirt. “They let us right in and, apparently, the nebulizer I was using at home was already doing the job. I just panicked.”

  Storm frowned and looked down at her, doing his best not to touch her. He used to be able to give her a hug or even hold her hand when she was stressed, but she’d pushed him away over time. It shouldn’t have bothered him since they were only friends, but it did.

  “You did good, Everly. Don’t berate yourself for being cautious. You couldn’t have known.”

  Everly didn’t look at him, but her shoulders relaxed a bit. “I didn’t know you’d be bringing Jillian.” She let out a curse under her breath. “I’m sorry. That’s none of my business. I’m just tired.”

  “We’re friends, Ev.” Damn it. He needed to stop calling her that. It made them both uncomfortable. “She wanted to come since she met the boys and liked them.”

  “She was great with them.” Everly turned to him, her brow raised. “And, Storm, if a woman is sleeping over at your house at three a.m., she’s not just your friend.”

  Storm stuffed his hands in his pockets. “We didn’t sleep together. We are friends.”

  Everly closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “None of my business.”

  “If you say so.”

  He was tired, confused, and still worried about the boys. He didn’t want to go down this line of conversation, now or ever. “I’m going to head back out to the waiting room so the nurse quits glaring at me.”

  Everly laughed softly. “She’s checking you out, not glaring. You have bed head.” She reached up to fix his hair and froze, her face paling. She dropped her arm and cleared her throat. “I’ll let you know when the boys wake up so you can talk to them.”

  “Okay,” he bit out and turned on his heel, leaving Everly behind in the hallway. As soon as he made it into the waiting room, Jillian stood, her teeth biting her lip.

  “Nathan’s fine,” he said quickly. “Everly will come out in a bit and tell us more.”

  Jillian searched his face before letting out a breath. “That’s good to hear. Storm? We need to talk.”

  Hell, he hated that phrase. Why did women need to say that when something shitty was about to happen?

  “What?” he asked. “Do you want some coffee? Might as well get some caffeine in my system if I’m going to be up for a bit.”

  “No, but Storm? I called a cab. I shouldn’t have come tonight. It wasn’t fair to you or Everly for me to show up like I did.”

  He frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  Jillian shook her head, her eyes sad. “You don’t understand yet, but you will. And I’m going to love that you will soon. But, Storm? I’m going to go, and I’m probably not going to call you for a bit. I want you to text me about the boys, of course, but I think it’s time we stop this.”

  He froze. “What are you talking about?”

  She reached up and patted his cheek. “I love you, Storm. But not the way I should. And I know you feel the same about me.”

  His mouth went dry. “Jilly…”

  She shook her head. “You’re one of my best friends, and I think that’s all we need to be right now…or forever. We’ve been what we are because it was the easy way out, complicated explanations and all. And I think…I think I want to see if I can do better than this. And I think you should, too.”

  And with that, she turned and walked toward the sliding doors, leaving Storm at a loss for words and feeling as though he’d just been kicked in the gut. He loved Jillian, but not the way he should, she was right. He’d never been in love with her, and he knew it was the same for her.

  She wasn’t the one for him, and never had been. He let out a breath. And Jillian wasn’t the only woman in his life he could say that about.

  Not then, and sure as hell not now.

  Chapter Three

  Everly needed a bucket of coffee, but that probably wouldn’t help her unsettled stomach. She ran her hand over James’s light hair, loving the way he smiled up at her with that adorable little boy smile of his.

  “Can we have French fries after?” James asked, his smile turning even sweeter. Even at their young ages, her boys knew exactly what smiles to use to get what they wanted from her. Seriously, how was a mom supposed to say no to those smiles?

  And though, normally, she might have just braved it and said no to fast food; today, greasy food might be just the thing to make it through the day.

  “Maybe,” she answered, smoothing out his hair. Both James and Nathan each had a little cowlick that was completely adorable but refused to bend to her ways.

  “Yay! Maybe!” Nathan squealed from his seat next to the examination table. He had his superhero coloring books and his favorite crayons to keep him busy during James’s doctor appointment. It had only been a couple of days since they’d been in the emergency room for Nathan, but he seemed no worse for wear.

  “Maybe!” James squealed right back, clapping his hands. She couldn’t help but smile, knowing they were taking her maybe as a yes. She didn’t say maybe often, after all. But having to stand in a medical building with her boys for the second time in as many days made silly things like having fast food seem like a treat, rather than evil.

  Today, on the other hand, was all about James. It was the last appointment before his surgery for his cochlear implant. He was almost one hundred percent deaf in his left ear, his right ear almost perfect according to the masses of tests they’d had run over the past two years. They’d tried hearing aids that had worked reasonably well, though James had constantly tried to scratch the thing off when he was younger. They were even learning sign language as a family and would continue to do so even after the surgery. It was an important skill even if her child ended up being able to hear with both ears after the surgery. She’d gone through the pros and cons of the invasive procedure over and over since the opportunity had come about and had finally relented when she’d talked to numerous other parents who had stood on both sides of the issue. There was nothing wrong with her baby, but if this would help him function better in the cruel world that was theirs on most days, then she would do it—she’d do anything for him.

  And when her insurance company had agreed to pay for every cent of the operation, she’d almost fallen to the floor and wept. Between James’s ear and Nathan’s asthma, medical bills piled up, and it wasn’t all that easy to keep up with it. She’d set aside Jackson’s life
insurance policy early on to pay for the boys’ school since she knew that even if they had to live meagerly, she’d be able to raise her boys in relative comfort. She might be a small business owner, but she was doing pretty well for herself these days.

  And at that thought, she quickly knocked on the wooden shelf beside her, hoping that the pressed wood panel would be enough to ward off any evil thoughts.

  Dr. Edelman walked in and smiled softly at them as soon as she pulled her hand back. “Well, I’ll be. I must be seeing double today.” The boys laughed as they always did when Dr. Edelman made that joke. She couldn’t help but smile even as her nerves grated.

  “Well now, let’s get started, shall we?” the doctor asked with a pleasant smile.

  Everly swallowed hard and nodded. “Sure.” She reached around for her binder with all of her notes and research and let out a deep breath. Books had saved her in the past, and she hoped that everything she’d read had led her to the right decision with regards to James and the surgery.

  Being a single mother was an amalgamation of one leap of worrying and hard decision after another, and she just prayed that she wouldn’t make another mistake. Others might be able to make as many missteps as needed, but she didn’t have anyone else to rely on when it came to the outcome.

  She only had herself.

  As always.

  “So, everything went okay today?” Tabby asked from across the booth. The other woman looked worried, but you couldn’t tell from the tone of her voice, which Everly appreciated.

  After the doctor’s appointment, Everly had taken the boys over to their favorite burger place and then called Tabby and Alex to join them. She and Tabby had been friends for years, and Everly had watched her friend fall in love with not only a good man, but a beautiful family, as well. The fact that Alex was Storm’s brother just made the world seem that much smaller.

  Everly had known Storm because of Jackson and college and had only met one other Montgomery—Storm’s twin, Wes, recently. She hadn’t run in the same circles as Storm outside of her relationship with Jackson, so it had made sense that she hadn’t met the rest of his immense family. Tabby, on the other hand, worked at Montgomery Inc., the family’s construction company that Storm and Wes owned. She honestly had no idea why she’d never mentioned the fact that she knew Storm to Tabby before everything had come full circle a few months ago but, apparently, she’d been keeping secrets she hadn’t meant to keep. No, that wasn’t right. She’d known Tabby had a crush on Alex throughout the years but hadn’t said anything to Storm since it wasn’t her place. She’d done her best in the past three years to keep her relationship with Storm as minimal as possible because she hated having to rely on anyone, and because of that, she’d unintentionally kept him a secret from Tabby and the others.