The Crazy Girl's Handbook

by DelSheree Gladden

  ***

  The beeping woke me. Thinking it was my alarm, I tried to reach out and smack it a few times, too tired to even think about getting up quite yet. For some reason, I couldn’t lift either of my arms. I was about to tell Roman to quit squishing me, but everything that had happened slammed into me in a rush and panic hit so fast there was zero chance of me calming back down.

  There were noises around me instantly, but I couldn’t force my eyes open because I didn’t want to see anything. I remembered the gunshot, the blood, blacking out. I remembered the pain before I’d lost consciousness, and the only thought in my mind was that I’d been paralyzed by the shot and would never be able to move again. Tears poured down my face as I tried and failed to suck in another breath.

  “Greenly, Greenly? Open your eyes. Calm down. You’re hyperventilating. You’re safe, Greenly. Can you hear me? Everything’s okay now. Just calm down for me, okay?”

  I tried to focus on Roman’s voice, but what he was saying didn’t make sense. How could everything be okay? How could it ever be okay again? My eyes weren’t open to see black spots, but I felt my head start to swim and knew I would lose consciousness again if I couldn’t calm down. Knowing it didn’t matter. My body did what it was supposed to when deprived of oxygen. It shut down. Again.