Preservation

by Rachael Wade

  My eyes darted to Ryan and I stammered, seeking a lifeline. “I’m actually not—”

  “She’s not wearing it at the moment. Being sized at the jeweler’s, you know.”

  “Oh? That’s a shame. I bet it’s lovely. Ryan has quite an eye for fine jewelry.”

  I took another gulp of champagne and pressed my lips together, waiting for Ryan to jump in again before I responded. When he didn’t speak up, I leaped at the chance to fill the silence. “Yes, it’s quite the sight...”

  “Ryan,” Felicia shifted her weight to her side, paying me no attention, “I’d love to hear Alisha’s thoughts on your engagement. How is she these days?”

  Ryan sighed, swallowing some champagne. “Alright, Felicia. I think you’ve made your point. My relationship is none of her business and certainly none of yours, so if you’ll excuse us,” he set his empty glass down and started to lead me away. A young, tall, built man with blonde hair and dimples deflected our exit, boxing me in closer to the awkward meeting. He looked to be in his early thirties, with perfect teeth and a polished style that reminded me of a news anchor.

  “Ryan? Ryan Campbell, is that you?” he held out his hand with a wide smile. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

  “Mark, how the hell are ya, man?” They shook hands and Ryan gave Felicia the cold shoulder. I stepped back to avoid being sandwiched between them.

  “Best of luck with your engagement,” Felicia’s tone suddenly turned sweeter as she made eye contact with me one last time. “He’s a real keeper.” Turning on her heel, she was gone.

  “And who is this looker you have with you?” Mark turned to me now, eyeing me up and down.

  “Ah, she’s with me,” Ryan gripped me tight. “This is Kate. Kate, this is Mark Burgess. We went to UW together.” He guided me forward by the small of my back.

  “It’s a pleasure,” I extended my hand, forcing a smile. All I wanted was to get Ryan alone and ask him about Felicia. His knitted brow and tight smile told me he knew that was exactly what I wanted.

  “Oh, the pleasure’s all mine.”

  “Would you guys excuse me for a moment?” I let go of Ryan’s hand and gave them a polite smile, beelining for the door. Ryan fiddled with his tie and moved to let me pass by, watching as I strolled across the ballroom , grabbing my handbag from the table before exiting.

  I dashed into the ladies’ room and splashed some cold water on my face, dabbing it with a towel before reaching for my compact. Fiancée? What the hell was that all about? And how many more ex-girlfriend run-ins could I handle? Hell, some of them weren’t even girlfriends. Just flings. I wasn’t sure which was worse. Maybe telling him about my long string of exes wouldn’t be so terrible in comparison.

  Straightening my dress, I ran a fresh coat of burgundy lipstick over my lips. A faint sniffling sound overpowered the rustling of my handbag as I dug around for my cell phone. Tiny sobs began to echo through the restroom, bouncing off the black marble floors. The stall door behind me creaked open and out stepped Felicia, eyes blotchy with traces of runny mascara and a red nose that needed powdering. Her eyes dropped to the floor as she made her way to the sink. I stopped searching for my cell phone and gathered my handbag, turning for the door.

  “I owe you an apology for that out there,” her voice stopped me. “I mean, I don’t even know you. I’m not a bitch, you know. Not one of those girls.”

  My hands grasped tightly around my handbag, I remained in front of the door, my back to the crying woman.

  “It’s just...running into him like that...and you. Well, you’re beautiful. And he’s protective of you, it’s so strange.” She exhaled a slow, even breath and I waited, pivoting around to face her. “If you’ve ever had the unfortunate experience of dealing with unrequited love, then you’d know. I’m not sure there is anything worse than one-sided love.” She leveled her eyes to the mirror, locking her gaze with mine. “Anyway, I’m sorry for my behavior. It’s horribly embarrassing and I hope you’ll forgive me.”

  Looking down, I reached in my bag and pulled out a tissue. “Here. Of course I forgive you. I know how awkward that was for me, and I can only imagine how this is for you. No hard feelings, really.” What more could I say to this poor girl? Sorry I’m dating—er, marrying the man you love? Who the hell are you, anyway? There was a part of me that ached for her, and another that burned with curiosity. What had Ryan done to leave her in this state? Had he run around on her with the busty, blonde students I’d had the privilege of meeting at the club that night? Was she another Alisha? A woman that Ryan couldn’t commit to, or when he did, she couldn’t trust him? My head started spinning, the thousands of possibilities swirling around with potential truth.

  Without another word, she turned and reached for the door handle.

  “Wait. Felicia?”

  “Yes?”

  I knew I’d regret it the moment I asked, but the temptation was too great. This would be my only chance to hear it directly from the woman’s lips. “Who were you, to Ryan? Was he unfaithful to you?”

  She sniffled and raised the tissue to her nose, kept her eyes on the door handle. “I’m not sure who I was to him, but he was my world. He has this way of making you feel like you’re all he sees. That there’s nothing else in the room more important than you.” She lifted her her head. “And I was the one he cheated on Alisha with, so I’m no one to judge when it comes to fidelity.”

  “I see.”

  And that was it. She slipped out the door, leaving me with more questions than answers—the opposite of what I was aiming for.

  My mood turned pensive, I returned to Ryan. He was still talking to Mark, watching me out of the corner of his eye as I approached them.

  “So, Kate, Ryan here tells me you have a bestseller in the works.”

  “He’s being kind,” I forced a smile and Ryan locked my arm in his, smiling down on me with a glint in his eyes. His smile was forced, too, but there was genuine pride on his face, so I dragged myself into the conversation, focusing as best as I could on this Burgess guy. “But I’m happy with the direction it’s headed and I hope to place it soon.”

  “Well, Ryan and I have been discussing that. I’d love to meet you for lunch and take a look at it. How does that sound?”

  Words. No words. Ryan gently nudged me, nodding his head.

  “That sounds...wonderful. Thanks for the offer, I’d love to sit down and talk.”

  “Excellent. Call me Monday morning and we’ll do lunch,” he handed me his card and patted Ryan on the shoulder. “It’s time I start making my rounds. See you in the morning?”

  “Sure thing, man. Good seeing you again.” Ryan gave him a firm handshake. We stood there alone again, sounds of Frank Sinatra and glasses clinking surrounding us. “You ready?” he asked, rubbing his fingers around the base of his champagne glass, his eyes following the pattern.

  “Yes.”

  He turned and led me across the room, eyes on the exit sign.

  14. TEACHER’S PET

  Monday morning I sat with the phone in my lap, tapping it on my knee as I rehearsed what to say to Mark Burgess. Be cool, Kate. Relax. This is only your shot at a possible publishing deal. I swallowed, feeling the lump rise right back up in my throat. The rest of the weekend had been nerve-racking . The mood after the conference turned somber, the energy shifting after our run-in with Felicia. Ryan apologized the whole way home for introducing me as his fiancée, saying he wanted to make it clear he was in a committed relationship, to get Felicia off our backs. Not wanting to get caught up in his past, I dropped it and didn’t bother mentioning my run-in with her again in the restroom. But not for his sake. For hers. She deserved to hang on to a shred of her dignity.

  I managed to make the phone call and arranged to meet Mark at the Irish pub around the corner at 1:00, thankful Ryan was teaching class that afternoon so I’d have a few minutes to myself to prepare. To say I was feeling nervous was a massive understatement.

  “You look fantastic, Ka
te. Great to see you again,” Mark stood to pull out my chair, giving a gentlemanly bow as he kissed my hand. When he lifted his lips from my hand, he peered up at me with a charming, salesman smile, his twinkling blue eyes gleaming with delight. He’d definitely make a killing on a car lot with that smile.

  “So, I hear you’re working on a literary piece, correct? May I see what you have so far?” He flagged the waiter and ordered our drinks, then quickly skimmed the menu and ordered lunch for both of us. Oookay... I eyed the menu as he snatched it from my hand. “And don’t burn the bread.” He handed the menus back to the waiter with a dismissive wave. His gaze drifted over my chest for a moment, finding its way back to my face when he caught me staring. Someone has wandering eyes. I tugged at my neckline, wondering if my cleavage was too generous.

  “It isn’t finished,” I replied. “And I know you’re only interested in completed manuscripts, so I’m not sure—”

  “No worries, beautiful. Let’s see it.”

  Chewing quietly on my salad, I gripped my napkin under the table, reminding myself to breathe every few seconds. He flipped casually from page to page, taking a bite of his lunch in between chapters. The silence was painful, but watching his brow crease as he read was even more agonizing. What was he thinking? Does it suck? Should it be burned? The ashes scattered across the Pacific? Do I have a chance in hell?

  “Hhmm,” Mark murmured, setting the manuscript down next to his plate, sitting back to stare at it intently. He finally looked up to address me, doing a double take when Ryan appeared, pulling up a chair to join us.

  I stopped fidgeting with my napkin. “Ry...um, hi...”

  “Hey, gorgeous, what is it? National Cleavage Day?” he mumbled under his breath before turning to Mark. My chin dropped and I adjusted my shirt again. “Hey Mark, hope I’m not intruding. Just managed to have someone cover my afternoon class so I could stop by and see how things are going.” He reached over and slipped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer.

  “How did you know where I was?” I whispered while Mark ordered them both a beer.

  “Got your text earlier,” he whispered back.

  Mark returned his attention to Ryan, that fake smile still in place, an obvious hint of irritation peeking through. Even though Ryan and Mark had a professional history and seemed to be friendly acquaintances, it was clear I wasn’t the only one who did feel it was a bit of an intrusion. “Well...I understand, Ryan. It’s nice of you to stop by, although Kate and I haven’t had much time to discuss anything yet. I was just looking over her manuscript here...”

  “It’s good, right? I haven’t seen writing that fresh since I’ve been teaching at the university. You’d be lucky to get your hands on her work, believe me.”

  Dropping my gaze to my plate, I kicked him underneath the table, aiming for the most sensitive part of his shin. What the hell was he doing? It was sweet he wanted to be supportive, but I didn’t want him laying it on so thick. I wanted to earn this. Fair and square. It was already enough that he’d set me up with this meeting.

  He winced but didn’t look at me, just removed his arm from my shoulders and leaned in to rest his elbows on the table, scooting back when the waiter set the drinks down.

  “Oh, I don’t doubt it, Ryan. It’s definitely fresh. Sharp. Something we’d be interested in, for sure. But I’d like to discuss your future, Kate,” he tilted his head to look at me, “to get an idea of the direction you have in mind. I’m being very selective with who I represent at the moment. The market is changing, and the industry is as well. I’m in a position to be picky, cautious, even. Nothing personal, of course. All business.”

  “Right, I understand.” I straightened up and gave him my full attention.

  “If you don’t mind, I’m going to take this with me,” he waved the manuscript with one hand, then stuffed it in his briefcase, glancing at his watch. “I have thirty minutes to make it to the other end of town, so I want to get a head start. But I’ll call you later this week so we can chat. Sound good?”

  “Yes, definitely. Thanks so much for your time,” I stood to shake his hand and see him off. He exchanged a few words with Ryan and then left, leaving us with the bill.

  “Well he was sure in a rush,” Ryan leaned back, resting an arm on the back of my chair.

  “He’s a busy guy,” I pushed the remainder of the salad around on my plate.

  “What’s the matter?” He took a sip of his drink, eyeing my plunging neckline again. “You have that look.”

  “Nothing, I just can’t believe you skipped your class to be here. Won’t you get in trouble? For playing professor hooky?”

  “No, I worked it all out. And what do you mean, ‘nothing’? You look pissed.”

  “I just thought it was...inappropriate for you to show up like that. This was a business meeting, the guy is thinking of representing me.”

  “What? Kate, Mark’s an old acquaintance, it’s no big deal.”

  “Well, he didn’t seem as chummy with you today as he was at the conference dinner. He didn’t look very thrilled when you showed up.”

  “He’ll get over it. I came here to support you, to tell him how valuable your work is.”

  “Ry,” I handed the bill to the waiter but he stopped me, switching his credit card for mine. “I appreciate that, I really do. It was nice of you to skip class and think of me...”

  “But I embarrassed you.”

  “A little, yes. And I want to earn this. I don’t need you coming here, blowing smoke about how great I am, okay?”

  “Shit, I’m sorry. The idea of seeing you get representation and being published is just...I’m jumping the gun, sorry. The last thing I want is to screw this up for you. I know what it’s like to have one shot,” he looked down and pulled the crust off of the last piece of bread.

  It suddenly dawned on me why he cared so much, why he wanted to be here. He wanted to support me, but it was more than that. “Hey Ry, have you considered talking to Mark about your own work?”

  “Sure, it’s crossed my mind. But this is your show, I’m not stealing it. Besides, I haven’t talked to the guy in ages. I don’t want to bombard him with requests to read my stuff. Putting in a good word for you is a little different. You’re a student, someone I can recommend.”

  “Well, it’s still a possibility. Just try to stay on his good side,” I winked, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

  “You mean don’t crash the party next time, I get it,” he chuckled and tossed his napkin down. “But you have to promise me not to wear anything that sexy in front of him again.”

  “Come on, it’s not that bad. It’s elegant.”

  “Oh, it’s elegant, alright. But any warm-blooded male isn’t admiring it for its sophistication. I mean it. Don’t wear that in front of him again.”

  Crossing my arms and tilting my head, my warmness toward him instantly froze over. “If you think for one second you’re going to tell me what the hell to wear, you’re sorely mistaken, Mr. Campbell.”

  “Ms. Parker,” he popped a mint into his mouth with a cocky grin. “You’re sorely mistaken if you think for one second I won’t show up to your next rendezvous with Mr. Important Agent Man to make sure he isn’t drooling over that glorious rack of yours.”

  “Ryan Campbell. If we weren’t in a public place right now—”

  “Battles, baby. You should know by now to choose them wisely with me. Now keep your panties on.” Standing, he reached for my hand. “On second thought,” he straightened his tie, “you’re much more fun when they’re off. Shall we?” He stepped aside to let me lead the way and I committed myself to keeping my coat off the entire walk home, no matter how cold it was outside. This was officially my new favorite top.

  ***

  “Are you climbing the walls yet? Hearing voices? Seeing dead people?” Carter bit off a chunk of his pastry while I shuffled through the bouquets of flowers, on the hunt for the perfect set of lilies. The market was especially damp that morning,
the cold air invigorating.

  “I do still have a job, thank you very much. My cabin fever hasn’t escalated to that level of craziness yet. But my characters are driving me insane. They won’t shut up.”

  Carter handed me a bouquet. “Isn’t that a good thing? No writer’s block that way, right?”

  “Not enough iris,” I shooed the bouquet away, digging farther back on the table, spotting the perfect bunch. “Yes and no. I just need time away from it, need to step away for a while.”

  “You want to come to our show tonight?”

  “I’d love that, yeah.”

  “Ryan should come out too, he doesn’t have class or anything tonight, does he?

  “Nope, he’s off. But I don’t know if he’ll come.” I reached for some cash and paid for the flowers, popping open my umbrella when we made our way out onto the sidewalk.

  “What? Why’s that?”

  “He’s been locked away all week writing his own stuff. Well, revising, actually. He just finished a novel and he’s completely immersed in it. When he comes home from work, he barely says a word, just dives in. I feel like I’m coaxing him out of a cave just trying to get him to eat dinner.”

  “Hmmm. Still no word on Felicia?”

  “Nope. He won’t talk about her. Or Jamie for that matter. He gets all edgy. Hot and cold. The minute I even start treading that ground, he just shuts down.”

  “It’s probably better that way, Kate. I’d leave it alone. It’s obviously history, you just had an uncomfortable run-in, that’s all.”

  I sighed, “you’re right.”

  “Kate,” Carter stopped me when we reached my place. “Why is this business about his ex-girlfriends bothering you? Come on, I can see those wheels turning. What’s the deal?”

  Glancing up to my apartment window, I let out a long breath. “His relationship with Jamie was the most serious one he’s been in...before me, I mean. I can’t help it, it bothers me that he won’t tell me about it. I guess I just want to know what went so wrong, is that so bad?”