Volume 1 - The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi

by Tanigawa Nagaru

  “I apologize for being late. Eh… Then let’s begin!”

  He repeats again, and the class atmosphere finally reverts to normal— even though this is the sort of atmosphere that Haruhi hates the most!

  Maybe, life is just like that?

  But, to tell you the truth, deep inside my heart I’m really envious of Haruhi’s attitude towards life.

  She still has the aspiration that she’ll meet someone from the supernatural world that I abandoned long ago, and she enthusiastically tries to achieve her dream. If sitting around waiting is not going to achieve anything, let’s call them ourselves! This is why Haruhi does things like drawing white lines on the school field, painting symbols on the school roof, and pasting cursed paper talismans everywhere.

  Sigh!

  I don’t know when Haruhi started to do weird stuff that made others mistake her as an occultist. Waiting achieves nothing, so why not perform some weird ceremonies to call them out? At the end of the day, however, nothing happened. Maybe that’s why Haruhi always has that “damn-the-whole-world” look on her face…?

  “Hey, Kyon.”

  After class, Taniguchi, with his mystified face, tried to corner me. Taniguchi, you look like a total moron with that expression of yours!

  “Be quiet! I don’t care what you say. Anyway what kind of magical spell did you cast?”

  “What magical spell?”

  Highly advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic! I remembered this proverb as I ask Taniguchi back. He then pointed his finger at Haruhi’s now vacant seat.

  “This is the first time I’ve seen Suzumiya talk to a person for so long! What did you guys talk about?”

  That, ah, what did we talk about? I just asked her some normal questions, that’s all.

  “How very shocking!”

  Taniguchi sarcastically put on an in-awe expression, then Kunikida popped up from behind Taniguchi.

  “Kyon has a history of liking strange girls.”

  Hey, don’t say things that’ll create a misunderstanding.

  “It doesn’t matter if Kyon likes strange girls. What I can’t understand is why Suzumiya would talk to you? I don’t get it at all.”

  “Maybe Kyon is as weird as her?”

  “Probably. I mean you can’t expect someone with a nickname like Kyon to be normal.”

  Stop calling me Kyon, Kyon, Kyon! Rather than being called by that stupid nickname, just use my real name! At the very least I wanted to hear my sister call me “Onii-chan”!

  “I want to know too.”

  The voice of a cheerful girl came out of nowhere. I lifted my head, and of course, saw Asakura Ryouko’s innocently smiling face.

  “I tried talking to Suzumiya-san a few times already but nothing came of it. Could you teach me how I should talk to her?”

  I acted like I thought about this for a while; actually, I didn’t even think at all.

  “I dunno.”

  Upon hearing this, Asakura smiled.

  “I am so relieved now. She can’t go on being isolated from her classmates like that, so it’s great that you’ve become her friend.”

  Asakura Ryouko cares for her like a class monitor because, well, she is the class monitor. She was elected as the class monitor in our last lengthy homeroom session.

  “Friend, huh?”

  I shook my head uncertainly. Is it really like that? But, the only expression Haruhi gives me whenever I talk to her is a scowl!

  “You need to continue helping Suzumiya-san so that she can get along with the class. We’re in the same class after all so we’re counting on you!”

  Sigh, even if you say that, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do!

  “If there is anything I need to tell Suzumiya-san, I could just ask you to pass the message to her!”

  No, wait! I’m not her spokesman!

  “Please?” she asked sincerely, putting her palms together.

  Faced with her request, I could only give vague responses like “erm” and “ahh…”. Asakura took that as a yes and showed her yellow-tulip-like smile, and then went back to the other girls. After seeing that the other girls were looking at me, my heart fell to the bottom of a canyon.

  “Kyon, we are good friends right…?” Taniguchi asked, staring at me suspiciously.

  “What the hell is going on here?”

  Even Kunikida, with his eyes closed and arms crossed on his chest, nodded.

  Oh my god! Why am I surrounded by a bunch of idiots?

  It seems that someone decided that everyone in class needed to change their seats monthly. Therefore the class monitor Asakura wrote all the seat numbers onto little pieces of paper, placed them in a cookie tin, and let each of us draw from it. In the end I got the seat in the second to last row next to the window that overlooks the courtyard. Guess who took the last seat right behind me? That’s right. It’s the ever scowling Haruhi!

  “Why hasn’t something interesting happened yet?! Like little grade school kids disappearing one by one, or some teachers getting murdered inside a locked classroom?”

  “Stop saying that kind of scary stuff!”

  “I joined the Mystery Study Group.”

  “Oh? What happened?”

  “It was so idiotic. Nothing interesting happened! Furthermore, all the club members are detective novel fans but there isn’t anyone there that resembles a detective!”

  “Isn’t that normal?”

  “I actually had hopes for the Supernatural Study Group.”

  “Really?”

  “But they all turned out to be a bunch of occult maniacs. Does that sound fun to you?”

  “Not really.”

  “Ah, man, this is too boring! Why doesn’t this school have any decently interesting club?”

  “Well, there’s not much you can do about that.”

  “I thought after I graduated to senior high I would encounter some kick ass clubs! Sigh, this is like trying to go into the Major League but then you discover that the school you’re attending doesn’t even have a baseball team.”

  Haruhi looked as if she were some sort of banshee ready to go to a hundred Buddhist monasteries to lay some curses. She stared at the sky with disdain and let out a huge sigh.

  Should I pity her?

  I don’t know what sort of clubs Haruhi likes. Maybe even she doesn’t know the answer. She just wants to “do something interesting.” What is “something interesting?” Does that involve solving a murder mystery? Searching for UFOs? Or exorcism? I think she has no idea either.

  “I think it can’t be helped if there aren’t any.”

  I decided to express my opinion.

  “Judging from the results, humans are usually content with their current states. Those who aren’t, however, will try to invent or discover something to advance civilization. Someone wanted to fly so they invented airplanes. Someone wanted to travel easily so automobiles and trains were made. But, those things were created by people who possessed special talents. Only a genius can convert those imaginings into reality. We ordinary mortals should just live our lives fully. We shouldn’t act impulsively just because we feel adventurous.”

  “Shut up.”

  Haruhi just cut off my rather excellent speech, or at least that’s what I think, and turned her head the other direction. Looks like she’s really moody right now. But then again, when isn’t she? I am used to it already.

  This girl probably doesn’t care about anything— unless it involves supernatural powers that far surpasses reality. The world doesn’t have those, however. Nope, really.

  Long live the Laws of Physics! Thanks to you we humans can live in peace. Though Haruhi may cringe at this.

  I am normal, right?

  Something must have triggered it.

  Maybe it’s the above conversation?

  Because I never saw it coming!

  The warm sun made everyone in the classroom sleepy. Just as I was nodding my head and going to sleep, a powerful force suddenly exe
rted itself on my collar and pulled me backwards. Because the force was so strong, my head hit the corner of the desk behind me. Tears instantly came out of my eyes.

  “What do you think you are doing!?”

  I turned my head around madly and saw Haruhi, one hand still grabbing my collar, smiling a big smile that was as bright as the tropical sun— honestly, this is the first time I’ve seen her smile! If smiles can be measured in terms of temperature, then her smile was as hot as a tropical rain forest.

  “I got it!”

  Hey, don’t spit on me!

  “Why didn’t I think of this before?”

  Haruhi’s eyes shone as brightly as the Albireo Alpha[4] star. She stared at me pointedly. Reluctantly, I asked:

  4 Albireo is the third brightest star in the Cygnus constellation.

  “What did you think up?”

  “If it doesn’t exist, I can just create one myself!”

  “Create what?”

  “A club!”

  My head suddenly hurt and I don’t think it had anything to do with my head hitting the desk a moment ago.

  “Really? What an excellent idea. Can you let go of me now?”

  “What’s with your attitude? You should be happier!”

  “About your idea, I’ll talk to you about that later. For now I just want you to consider where we are, THEN you can share your joy with me. But first calm down okay?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Class is still in session.”

  Haruhi finally let go of my collar. I pressed the numbing back of my head and turned around slowly. I noticed that the whole class looked totally awestruck. The freshly-graduated newbie English teacher, with her chalk in her hand, stared at me and looked as if she was ready to cry.

  I signaled Haruhi to sit down quickly and shrugged towards the poor teacher.

  Please continue with the lesson.

  I heard Haruhi mumble about something and sat down unwillingly. The teacher then resumed her writing on the board…

  Create a new club?

  Hmmmm…

  Don’t tell me I’m already a member?

  My aching cerebrum just serves to enhance my unease.

  Chapter 2

  From the results, my premonition had come true.

  After class, Haruhi didn’t disappear instantly from the classroom as usual. This time she forcefully took my hand and dragged me out of the classroom, through the corridors, up the stairs, and finally stopped in front of the door leading to the rooftop.

  That door is usually locked, and the staircase above the fourth floor seems to have been used as a storage room by the Art Club. Giant canvases, near broken picture frames, statues of war gods with missing noses and such are all piled up in this little staircase, making what is supposed to be a narrow space even narrower.

  What is she trying to do to me by bringing me here?

  “I need your help.”

  Haruhi said this while grabbing my tie. With her sharp glare aimed at the lower part of my head, I got the feeling she was threatening me.

  “Help you with what?”

  I feigned ignorance.

  “Help me make a new club!”

  “OK, then tell me, why must I help you complete something that you just suddenly thought up?”

  “Because I need to secure a room for the club as well as members, so you need to find out what paperwork needs to be done for the school.”

  She wasn’t even listening. I cast off Haruhi’s hand.

  “What club are you trying to make?”

  “It doesn’t matter! What’s important is to make a club first.”

  I really doubt that the school would let us form a club whose activities are unknown.

  “Now listen! After school today, you go and find out what needs to be done, and I’ll go and find a room for the club. Okay?”

  ‘NO!’

  If I had replied like that, I was sure I would be killed. While I was hesitating on how to answer, Haruhi had already turned and walked down the stairs, leaving a disoriented male student standing all alone on the dust-filled staircase.

  “… I haven’t even agreed to help…”

  Sigh, saying this to a plaster statue is pointless. I could only drag my heavy feet, thinking about how I would explain all this to my curious classmates.

  Requirements for organizing an “association”:

  Five members or more. A sponsor teacher, club name, chairperson for the club, and club activities/goals summary are required—which then requires approval from the Student Council Executive Committee. The club’s activities must fit in with the school philosophy of creativity and vivaciousness. Based on the activities’ records and results, the Executive Committee would debate on whether to promote the association into a “study group.” Furthermore, as an association, the school will not provide any funding.

  I didn’t have to explicitly search for the requirements because they are all listed out on the back of the student handbook.

  Members are easy; we can just find anyone to make up the numbers, so that won’t be a problem. A sponsor teacher is harder to find, but I think I can manage that. As for the name, something inoffensive would do. And the chairperson for the club is, no doubt, Haruhi herself.

  I am willing to bet, however, that our club activities/goals summary is definitely not going to agree with “creativity and vivaciousness.”

  That being said, it’s not as if Haruhi is the kind of person who cares about the rules.

  As the bell rang for the end of classes, Haruhi showed off her horrifyingly brutish strength by gripping my jacket’s sleeve and pulling me out of our classroom at kidnapping speed. It took great effort to make sure that I didn’t leave my school bag in the classroom.

  “Where are we going?”

  I asked because, well, I’m normal after all.

  “The Club Room.”

  Haruhi, so full of energy that she was able to kick away the slow moving people in front of us, simply answered with a short sentence, then kept her mouth shut. Please, can you at least let go of my hand first?

  After we exited the first floor hallway, we went into another building and up the stairs. We walked into a dark hallway and at its center, Haruhi stopped. Of course, I stopped too.

  There is a door in front of us.

  Literature Club

  The crooked name tag is pasted on the door.

  “Here it is.”

  Without even knocking, Haruhi opened the door and walked into the classroom without any consideration. Of course, I followed her inside.

  The room is surprisingly large, or maybe it seems that way because it only contains a rectangular table, metal chairs, and a bookshelf. A few cracks on the ceiling and the walls showed how ancient the building is.

  Just as if she came with the room, a girl was sitting alone on a metal chair, reading a very thick hardcover book.

  “From now on this will be our club room.”

  Haruhi opened her arms and announced formally. Her face was shining with that energetic smile. ‘If only she would show that smile in class…’ despite that thought, I didn’t dare to say it out loud.

  “Wait a second, what is this place?”

  “The Cultural and Arts club building. This place has art and music rooms for the Art Club and the Orchestra Club. Clubs and associations without a regular club room all hold their activities here in this building, known as the Old Complex. And this classroom belongs to the Literature Club.”

  “Then what about the Literature Club?”

  “After all the third year students graduated this spring, the club had zero members. As no new members were recruited, the club was going to be canceled. By the way, she’s a first year who’s their only new member.”

  “Then they haven’t been canceled yet!”

  “Close enough! A club with only one member is the same as none.”

  You idiot! Are you trying to take over other people’s club rooms? I took a quick look at the
Literature Club girl.

  She was a girl with glasses and short hair.

  Haruhi was already this loud. The girl, however, didn’t even lift her head once. Apart from occasionally flipping the pages with her fingers, she appeared stationary, completely ignoring our presence. It seemed that this girl was strange as well!

  I lowered my voice and asked Haruhi:

  “Then what about that girl?”

  “She said it doesn’t matter!”

  “Really?”

  “I asked her already at lunch time. I said I need her to lend me the room and she said ‘go ahead,’ as long as she can read her book here in peace. Now that you mention it, she is pretty weird.”

  For you of all people to say that!

  I observed the weird Literature Club girl carefully this time.

  She had pale skin and an expressionless face. Her fingers were moving rhythmically like a robot. Just covering her pretty face, her short hair made one want to take off her glasses for a clearer view. She gave the impression of an inconspicuous puppet. In other words, a mysterious and expressionless weirdo!

  Perhaps noticing my intrusive observation, the girl suddenly lifted her head and pushed the nose bridge of her glasses up with her fingers.

  I saw her deep-colored eyes staring at me from under those lenses. Neither her eyes nor her lips showed any expression at all, almost like a mask. She was different from Haruhi—her face is the kind that fundamentally shows no sign of emotion.

  “Nagato Yuki.”

  Her tone suggested that her name would be forgotten by most people within three seconds of hearing it.

  Nagato Yuki stared at me for a moment; then as if losing interest, she turned her attention back to her book.

  “Say, Nagato-san,” I called out, “This girl here wants to use your club room for a yet-to-be-named club. Is this all right with you?”

  “Yes.”

  Nagato’s gaze never left her book once.

  “But it might be troublesome for you.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Maybe you’ll even be evicted?”